RE: a general question (Full Version)

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MzPersnickety -> RE: a general question (4/25/2006 9:11:23 PM)

Thank You to everyone replying and yes I am glad I don't have to deal with it. I know I am can be an egomaniac myself but I will admit to be being wrong, brash, blunt and a total bitch and I also tend to like the mental sparring that comes with the subtle "debating". I agree though online there is nice feature of ignoring someone..wonder if they can make an "ignore button" for r/t. Would work wonders at work :)



FangsNfeet -> RE: a general question (4/25/2006 9:25:56 PM)

Did you not take BDSM 101? If you did you would already know the Master is always right. [;)]




gooddogbenji -> RE: a general question (4/25/2006 9:35:45 PM)

I find that in most relationships, I have a hard time admitting I'm wrong, or ever letting someone else be right, or having the last word.  What I say is final, no discussion, no ifs, ands or buts.

I would like to ask an entirely unrelated question.  Why am I not collared?  Is my profile badly written, or are all the Mistresses jus fakes?

Yours,


benji



MzPersnickety -> RE: a general question (4/25/2006 9:42:52 PM)

quote:

Did you not take BDSM 101? If you did you would already know the Master is always right


And what if the Female is also a Dominant then if she is right and you are wrong....then who gets to punish whom :)

Also he was not my master by any means.... :) then that may have been a different story.....




cillydom -> RE: a general question (4/25/2006 10:33:21 PM)

I once thought I was wrong but I was mistaken



FangsNfeet -> RE: a general question (4/25/2006 11:07:04 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: gooddogbenji

I would like to ask an entirely unrelated question.  Why am I not collared?  Is my profile badly written, or are all the Mistresses jus fakes?

Yours,

benji


Not all Mistresses are fakes. You can stand to shorten your profile. Less is more. Adding a pic wouldn't hurt. Short, simple, and to the point followed by one or two hobbies that show that you're an interesting person.

So why are you not collared? How should I know. You are either trying to hard or not trying enough. I don't know how often you atten BDSM clubs, munches, and send general messages to those you share similar interest with? Do you ever meet and or scene with anyone? You only get back a third of what you put into a relationship.  



MistWalker -> RE: a general question (4/25/2006 11:14:31 PM)

actuly Fang i think that was more a jokeing responce to his own post.. not a seriouse question.. though in the vein of this thred.. i could very well be wrong....

quote:

ORIGINAL: gooddogbenji

I find that in most relationships, I have a hard time admitting I'm wrong, or ever letting someone else be right, or having the last word.  What I say is final, no discussion, no ifs, ands or buts.




Najakcharmer -> RE: a general question (4/25/2006 11:35:11 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: gooddogbenji
I would like to ask an entirely unrelated question.  Why am I not collared?  Is my profile badly written, or are all the Mistresses jus fakes?


Let's see.  You're in Canada, seeking local women only, you state that you do not want a long term relationship, and that you are a novice.  While there may well be a domme in Toronto, Canada who happens to want a short term relationship with a novice whom she can train herself, there are a lot of women who a) don't live in Toronto b) want a long term relationship only or c) prefer experienced subbies.  Of the women who do live in Toronto who want a short term relationship with a novice, not all of them may be on Collarme, some may already be in a relationship, and some might not be specifically attracted to your profile.

Suggesting that all the Mistresses here are "just fakes" because you can't find one that meets your narrow criteria AND is personally interested in you is pointless griping of the sour-grapes variety, and it doesn't help your chances any.  Whining and blaming other people for your lack of partners is not an attractive trait in a submissive, or in anyone else for that matter.

Your profile is well written and intelligent, and if you were local to me I might have said hello.  I prefer novices and I'm not on the market for an LTR either. But you're nowhere near local and we don't share all that much specificity of interest, so you and I would not be a match. That doesn't make me a fake; it makes me (and the majority of other ladies on this site) not a good match for you.  

There is nothing wrong with your profile.  There is a lot wrong with your post.   I would consider that kind of belief to be a definite deal breaker if I saw it in a potential submissive.  Eg,. "If you don't do me RIGHT NOW in just the way I want you to, then you're not a REAL dom."

I don't know if it really is what you believe, but a statement like this can imply an extreme of self-centeredness.  It makes it appear that you cannot recognize or respect that other people have wants and needs and lives that don't necessarily have anything to do with you.  Someone who isn't personally interested in you is not automatically a fake, or bad, or wrong, or evil.  They just aren't interested or aren't compatible for reasons of their own.  Learning to understand and respect this is, in my opinion, a basic requirement of adulthood.



gooddogbenji -> RE: a general question (4/25/2006 11:40:16 PM)

I would like to say, I was entirely joking.  I tend to have way too much fun posting and forget other people may not realize it is a joke.  I actually hate the word fake, so I use it at every turn when I'm joking.....

Najakcharmer, I realize I narrow it down, but at the end of the day, I need to find what I want at this point.

But thank you both for your input!

Yours,


benji



Najakcharmer -> RE: a general question (4/26/2006 12:17:15 PM)

quote:

Najakcharmer, I realize I narrow it down, but at the end of the day, I need to find what I want at this point.


Don't forget to put in your profile "Quiche eaters need not apply."  Everyone knows that REAL doms don't eat quiche.



JoeT2000 -> RE: a general question (4/27/2006 3:26:10 AM)

If the qualities you look for in a Master are honesty, self awareness, an ability to communicate, and self assuredness, they will happily accept they are wrong, and will also be grateful that you informed them. Learning isn't a static process, for anyone. I'm not bothered if I'm proven wrong, because I prefer to be right. If I'm not right today, by listening, I will be in the future.

Also, sometimes there isn't right or wrong. Not all things come in black and white. and you gain insight by learning from another person's perspective. The Dom will make their own mind up, but surely an informed decision, is better than a decision.

Joe



Arpig -> RE: a general question (4/27/2006 9:17:45 AM)

Do male doms have an issue with being proved wrong by a female???   Not all of them...I have a teenaged female unmentionable....so I am proved wrong even when I am right......its all a question of conditioning.



LL1aintbehavin -> RE: a general question (4/27/2006 9:55:02 AM)

i'm not sure if it is a Dominant/Master trait, a Domme or Mistress trait, or just the personality of the individual.  Some men would prefer if you have a better way to let them know as do some women, but others do not like being told they are wrong.  i may have this wrong, but i get the impression that he freaked on you because you did not get back to him as quickly as he demanded.  he has no hold and no right to give you a time frame, and to get upset and ignorant was just childish.
if i see anyone that i disagree with on any issue i will let them know, but i will do it in the most polite manner that i am able.  if they freak on me, well sorry, we are all human and entitled to express our opinions, unless we are gagged and order not to.
i think you are well rid of this person as petulant people get annoying very quickly.
aintbehavin



Reasonable -> RE: a general question (4/27/2006 10:08:07 AM)

It's not an issue with me, I'm adapatable.

I can't be right if I make mistakes.
If I can't see my mistakes,I cannot correct them.
If I correct my mistakes,I will be right.
By proving me wrong,she helps me to be correct.
For I can now see what to correct.
And does me service.

No problemo.

Reason, ruling over ego, ensures a better outcome than the inverse.[;)]




JoeT2000 -> RE: a general question (4/27/2006 12:39:13 PM)

That seems Reasonable



Reasonable -> RE: a general question (4/27/2006 2:21:18 PM)

Hey,whatever works,path of least resistance..etc.....Only an ass does everything the hard way.



BrianSenior -> RE: a general question (4/28/2006 9:08:16 AM)

I do not see it as just being a Top, as being a Male period. Recalling the golden rule ~there is exceptions to every rule~ Most Men find it hard admitting to being wrong. When it comes in front of them, when they are shown that they are wrong, it takes a more self secured person to admit they were wrong. Of course there are females that do not like to be told they are wrong just as there is men... Also, there is ways to speak to some one that can make the hairs on the back of the kneck stand up, speaking properly, is always a compliment to your self and the one you are adressing. ~BK~



IronBear -> RE: a general question (4/28/2006 10:05:09 AM)

When I used to train rooky Security officers with their brand new licenses, one thing I used to tell them was that “Some where down the road some one is going to put you flat on your arse. If you can’t deal with that and accept that it will happen, quit the industry now!”
 
In and out of the lifestyle I have friends and associates who have and will again prove me wrong about something. Best example was at a Gorean get together BBQ in Brisbane a few years ago now and I got into a great psych debate with a kajira who proved me wrong in  five of my main arguments…. It was wonderful and ever since has kept me on my toes when we are debating anything… She is now a Free Woman and a damned good one too…..
 
Those Doms who cant deal with a woman Dom or sub/slave proving them wrong occasionally, has problems… However when I come across anyone male or female who’s first words about anything you open your mouth about indicated that you are wrong will get the rough edge of my tongue reasonable quickly…..



LadyHugs -> RE: a general question (4/30/2006 6:27:51 PM)

Dear MzPersnickety, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
I can only speak from my personal experiences however, it depends on the Dominant.
Male or Female, slaves also -- it all boils down to being human.
 
Some "Doms" (both Female and Male) will continue the persona of being a "jerk" regardless if right or wrong.  They have a big chip on their shoulder that will never be filled in.  Same can be said for submissives and slaves.  Some submissive/slaves are attracted to the "Bad Arse" as are some Dominants attracted to submissive/slave types that have a bad attitude and or bratty.
 
When dealing with this media, which lacks the facial expressions and voice--a person can either read negative and or positive in the words and, some folks just will twist things no matter how careful and how kind the intent was.
 
When dealing with a person who is on the attack on your character, one can be 90% sure they are seeing what they see in others--they see in themselves.  Sometimes the other 10% is a very valid warning.
 
Respectfully submitted,
Lady Hugs
 
 



dincubus -> RE: a general question (4/30/2006 8:41:10 PM)

To me, and please take this for what it is, an opinion from someone who is new to the lifestyle.. well relatively new.
Personally, i believe that the person who had contacted you was being a bit childish and immature. I for one do not expect an immediate reply. I consider the fact that when i send an email out, that there may be personal things going on. so to me, getting a reply is good.
for this person to snap on you for having a personal life, then blocking you too boot, that smacks of "if you dont wanna play ball, i will take my ball and go home"
and it also does seem to indicate that he would not respect your wishes to begin with.
quote:

ORIGINAL: MzPersnickety

It was all about response time to an email sent. I am sorry real life came about. I then said as I had told you before not interested and found Him rather rude and told Him so.I was then told no I was the rude one for not responding quick enough and I had never responded to anything he had sent and I was a waste of his time. I think there was one or two more volleys and being the person I am and hence the moniker I do not delete things, and keep records of everything. After the last insult I went to send him the emails of before but found I was blocked. Just found it obnoxious and came to mind are all this way when confronted with being told they are wrong and rude.....I kept it vague for certain reasons because I do not think that was the only issue but have seen it before and wanted some feedback on it in general.



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