am I just old fashioned

am I just old fashioned (Full Version)

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sofldan -> am I just old fashioned (10/11/2010 3:48:40 PM)
I always find it a bit akward bringing up sexual issues for the first time when talking to someone. But once the can of worms has been opened I have no problems going on about my likes and dislikes. What I want to do and how I want to do it. I just get anxious about the timing when I am first stages of entering into a relationship. Guess it would be called the timing of it. Then on the other hand talking to the guys it's like whatever I will say what's on my mind no worries. I already know that this comes from being raised by my grandparents, and strictly catholic and the mention of sex is taboo and kink is of the devil. And bdsm is a one way ticket to hell. Lol anyway this isn't a huge problem it's just something I was pondering on today and thought I would share.

littlewonder -> RE: am I just old fashioned (10/11/2010 3:55:47 PM)
I'm one who believes there's a time and a placed for everything. If I'm with my girlfriends or my sisters and we're laughing over a few drinks and talk of sex comes up then I have zero problems talking about it and most of them already know what I'm into so none of it is really that big a deal or surprise to any of them. Now I'm not gonna sit around and talk about this stuff with my mom or in-laws though. Like I said there's a time and place. That isn't one of them.

sofldan -> RE: am I just old fashioned (10/11/2010 3:58:07 PM)
very true I agree. I just think a lot and I was musing over this today and just thought it may be interesting to throw it out there and explore it a little.

poise -> RE: am I just old fashioned (10/11/2010 3:58:35 PM)
In light of your upbringing and the stigma that sex was taboo...it's no surprise that when you add a little twist to the sex acts you enjoy most, that taboo word seems even larger, and in neon colors! The words will flow easier soon enough, and the colors will become less vivid. The beauty of it is that you aren't letting it hinder you from practicing your taboo-ness!

sofldan -> RE: am I just old fashioned (10/11/2010 4:08:13 PM)
lol no I wouldn't let it do that. Was just thinking about the dynamic of it today and thought it would be fun to bring up.

DarkSteven -> RE: am I just old fashioned (10/11/2010 4:58:56 PM)
I agree, and don't see that as an issue. We will discuss vanilla before we discuss sex. If we're not compatible outside the bedroom, we won't get into it. Most women seem relieved to be taken as a person first, and a sexual creature second.

Twoshoes -> RE: am I just old fashioned (10/11/2010 5:10:10 PM)
Well, I haven't talked much about kinks on this site and I'm definately not old-fashioned.

poise -> RE: am I just old fashioned (10/11/2010 5:24:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Twoshoes Well, I haven't talked much about kinks on this site and I'm definately not old-fashioned. [image]http://smileys.emoticonsonly.com/emoticons/w/waiting-929.gif[/image]

LilMichele -> RE: am I just old fashioned (10/11/2010 6:12:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven Most women seem relieved to be taken as a person first, and a sexual creature second. Relieved? That's an understatement!

kiwisub12 -> RE: am I just old fashioned (10/11/2010 6:39:20 PM)
My granny was so old fashion that she couldn't even say the word "sex" - she said sec, when she had to say it at all, and for a woman who had about 10 kids, you would have thought she was more comfortable with it. lol. Being raised the same way as the OP i understand what he is talking about - but i am so over feeling guilt or awkward about it. It doesn't bother me at all to talk about sex - as long as someone asks. I won't bring the topic up, since typically if it is an issue, i am talking to a prospective dom, and don't really feel that being that forward is subbly. grins However given my chosen profession (nurse) i can discuss bowel movements with anyone if i need to and not ever break a blush. While on my search for a dom, i really appreciate the ones that allowed us to have a "date" as opposed to a booty call. And for some reason, those are the guys that were more than a one time thing.scratches head I wonder why. [:D]

sexyred1 -> RE: am I just old fashioned (10/11/2010 7:20:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven I agree, and don't see that as an issue. We will discuss vanilla before we discuss sex. If we're not compatible outside the bedroom, we won't get into it. Most women seem relieved to be taken as a person first, and a sexual creature second. Relieved? I am still waiting for that to happen with anyone but my gay guy friends. [;)]

sofldan -> RE: am I just old fashioned (10/11/2010 7:45:59 PM)
after reading some of the replies guess I'm not so strange afterall. Lol

Twoshoes -> RE: am I just old fashioned (10/11/2010 7:53:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sexyred1 Relieved? I am still waiting for that to happen with anyone but my gay guy friends. [;)] They're too busy flirting with me instead; that's why.

WolfyMontgomery -> RE: am I just old fashioned (10/11/2010 8:53:57 PM)
Damn, this is what happens when I make a reply in a forum during class. Remember one thread and then reply to the other with the first thread still in my head. Honestly, I find most people who are worth anything would need to be more interested in the people they're talking to as people and potential friends/lovers/whatever, rather than as an open hole to fuck or be fucked by. Whenever someone messages me about sex-stuff before even saying "Hi, what's your name" or something to learn more about me as a person, I always want to ask them, "Are you not interested in compatibility at all in your long term relationships?" I don't, because I don't want to give them the impression that I'm interested in one with them since I'm taken, but it doesn't alleviate my want to ask them. Any relationship based purely on sex is more than likely doomed to failure. Edited to say that this is a fast-reply =) And to also say that you can ignore my post, since I'm not a Master, I just really wanted to say it. If it's any consolation, it's something my Master would say ;D

NuevaVida -> RE: am I just old fashioned (10/11/2010 10:33:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sofldan I always find it a bit akward bringing up sexual issues for the first time when talking to someone. But once the can of worms has been opened I have no problems going on about my likes and dislikes. What I want to do and how I want to do it. I just get anxious about the timing when I am first stages of entering into a relationship. Guess it would be called the timing of it. Then on the other hand talking to the guys it's like whatever I will say what's on my mind no worries. I already know that this comes from being raised by my grandparents, and strictly catholic and the mention of sex is taboo and kink is of the devil. And bdsm is a one way ticket to hell. Lol anyway this isn't a huge problem it's just something I was pondering on today and thought I would share. Timing is everything. When my owner and I were first talking, I wouldn't talk about sex or "kink." It wasn't until we were well on our way to establishing a relationship that such subjects came up.

sunshinemiss -> RE: am I just old fashioned (10/12/2010 12:14:01 AM)
I'm verrrrrrrrrrry comfortable talking about sex... just not my own experiences. I can tell someone how to do x, y, and z; I can go with them to buy condoms, I can explain the historical significance of this and that, I can even listen to them wax poetic about their exploits. But ask me about me, and I'm a tomato of embarassment. best, sunshine

GreedyTop -> RE: am I just old fashioned (10/12/2010 12:22:25 AM)
and you are so cute in tomato mode ;)

crazyml -> RE: am I just old fashioned (10/12/2010 12:31:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sexyred1 Relieved? I am still waiting for that to happen with anyone but my gay guy friends. [;)] I know what you mean - although I wish my gay guy friends didn't always insist on suggesting all sorts of ways I could re-decorate my house!

sunshinemiss -> RE: am I just old fashioned (10/12/2010 12:32:10 AM)
[sm=marionette.gif]

crazyml -> RE: am I just old fashioned (10/12/2010 12:32:29 AM)
Hello! No, you're definitely not alone! It's a pretty topsy turvy world where you learn about a ton of intimate, nasty kinks, before you get to know what music someone likes...

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