Why So many Subs/slave feel like they are going to be treated like a Doormat?

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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Why So many Subs/slave feel like they are going to be treated like a Doormat?

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Why So many Subs/slave feel like they are going to be t... - 9/28/2004 2:53:59 PM

ScorpioMaster

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I have notice some slaves/sub feel they are going to be treated like a doormat. I have never even treated any one like that but how will you know the person is like that unless you have meet them. The only way to protect your self from being treated like a doormat is to learn what it means to be submissive/slave. If you have been treated like that in the past then that means they were not true Dominates but those who use and abuse. This is why it is important to be part of a community so you can learn.

< Message edited by ScorpioMaster -- 9/28/2004 2:54:43 PM >

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RE: Why So many Subs/slave feel like they are going to ... - 9/28/2004 3:09:05 PM

proudsub

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From: Washington
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Here's a previous thread on this:

doormats

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RE: Why So many Subs/slave feel like they are going to ... - 9/28/2004 7:45:44 PM

siamsa24

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and then there are the outspoken, opinionated subs that get called fakes or closet-dominants. It takes all kinds to make a world I guess

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RE: Why So many Subs/slave feel like they are going to ... - 9/28/2004 11:39:41 PM

cariad

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From: Calgary, Alberta
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this slave belongs to a few groups both online and r/l and has been used, abused and has learned what to look for and how to avoid it. she recently had a chance to post her feelings on being a slave and they are her feelings from her heart.

this slave tries to go to the munches weekly in the community, but sometimes is not able to and when she is there she tries to talk to her friends she has made and make some new ones as they arrive at the munches.

this slave always does her best when finding out a slave/sub is new to give what she feels is good advise. actually, it's the same advise given her by her former mentor.

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RE: Why So many Subs/slave feel like they are going to ... - 9/29/2004 7:03:03 AM

Parel0803

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From: Belgium
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I find you right a sub need to be treated well and not like a doormat well i see it this way Dom and sub are too person and in this way they are eqaul buth they have different needs the one needs Domination en the other needs to be served etc. So they make aech other complete. A master how treated his sub like a doormat don't understand stand the word respect and it is better that he don't calle him Master

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RE: Why So many Subs/slave feel like they are going to ... - 9/29/2004 8:25:03 AM

sub4hire

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quote:

I have notice some slaves/sub feel they are going to be treated like a doormat. I have never even treated any one like that but how will you know the person is like that unless you have meet them. The only way to protect your self from being treated like a doormat is to learn what it means to be submissive/slave. If you have been treated like that in the past then that means they were not true Dominates but those who use and abuse. This is why it is important to be part of a community so you can learn.

Scorpio,
Now take your statement, copy it a few billion times and send it all over the world to every nook and cranny.
Sadly that is what has to happen to get the word out. With the internet and the lifestyle growing so rapidly there will always be new people to teach.
A submissive also has to learn self esteem. We are all beautiful. If not on the outside we are beautiful within. We need to learn to embrace this. To learn that we do not need to settle for just anything that happens to give us attention on a day we are feeling lonely.
We have to set standards for ourselves. Stand firm to those standards and not to be afraid to say, hey you don't match..goodbye.
We also need to learn that just because someone calls themself a chicken does not mean they are a chicken. Its all relative.
However, how do we get this to the masses? The newbies?

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RE: Why So many Subs/slave feel like they are going to ... - 9/29/2004 12:27:59 PM

feline

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I couldn't agree with you more Gloria.

And the only way I can think of to get this info to the masses is to continue talking about it on boards and in groups (offline as well as on) Perhaps someone needs to write a book. Maybe even you.

Actually, I'm surprised it hasn't already been done.

Take care,

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RE: Why So many Subs/slave feel like they are going to ... - 9/29/2004 12:32:28 PM

ScorpioMaster

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sub 4hire we do in forums like this one and by one group at a time. The word is like a seed that we plant by one person at a time. It takes a community to get the word out and by offering our hand out in friendship. I have been able to grow with the knowledge I have by good friends who helped me out to learn. My education is not over and it will never be over until I am planted 6 ft in the ground. I do understand this topic was posted once before some time back but it does not hurt to re do it once again for those who are just now tuning in our program. That is how we get the word out. :D be safe and well every one.

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RE: Why So many Subs/slave feel like they are going to ... - 9/30/2004 10:24:44 AM

826826

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thank you all for your comments and god bless you. A door mat is for walking on and wiping your shoes and feet. I to have never been treated like that due the profound safety in knowing. The mind is a terible thing to waste so elarn what you like and who you are with. Now having my face straddled rather hard by the love im with at the time is another thing. She or her friends are always welcome for that.

Gary

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RE: Why So many Subs/slave feel like they are going to ... - 9/30/2004 2:35:46 PM

happypervert

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Not being a submissive female, I can only guess at the reasons they worry about being treated like doormats:

1. They may see ads by HNGs who think being dominant is treating another like a doormat

2. There are plenty of guys out there who treat women like doormats, so perhaps they have already had a relationship like that

A while back I stumbled across a gal's profile where she pondered the same question; she couldn't understand why other submissives would worry about it because the idea of being treated like a doormat turned her on. But she meant it literally -- the idea being walked on and having feet wiped her got her moist. heh

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RE: Why So many Subs/slave feel like they are going to ... - 9/30/2004 2:59:49 PM

LadySonelle

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THANK YOU!!

I've been returning to the S/m BD world after a time away and have been shocked at some of the webpages I've seen. "Enter My site, you lowly worm!" "My Rulez: 1. Never contradict Me! 2. Expect NOTHING in return for your tribute!..." etc.

Yuck! Now, for some, that may be the thing they want. I'm not knocking that as a fantasy. In real, person to person relationships, outside of "scene space" however, I have great respect for submissives!

When I was first starting out as a Dominant, I got into a conversation with an older woman who had no idea of what the scene was about. When I explained about the use of pain for pleasure, through whippings and play, her reaction was this:

"You mean they LET you BEAT them?!! Whatever FOR? Anyone that allows another human to whip them is a wimp! They're weaklings! They have NO gumption!"

Having seen (and loved) a submissive, kneeling before Me, gasping in pleasure as I laid down an intricate pattern of cane marks, I can say that gumption was NEVER the issue! It takes guts, determination, pride, strength, power and courage to be a submissive! Any human being who places him-or-herself under My whips and tutelege gives the best of him or herself and requires nothing less than MY best!

I agree with You that anyone who treats a submissive or slave like a doormat is NO true Dominant and has NO idea of the requirements of being a Top! They are brats and posers and I sincerely pity the poor souls who become entrapped by them.

Lady Sonelle

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RE: Why So many Subs/slave feel like they are going to ... - 9/30/2004 7:14:16 PM

cheeba0228

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I have noticed this as well, I'm not sure where it came from but then again I dont kow of any that get treated like a doormat. I think its just an un-educated fear that they have.

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RE: Why So many Subs/slave feel like they are going to ... - 9/30/2004 7:33:17 PM

theroebabe

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Well to be honest i was treated as one.

so i do not and will not allow anyone to do it again. So maybe some of these people also had the same misfortune to meet idiots posing as doms!

So i understand and if you read as many profiles as i have where the "dom" says you are trash and at my disposal and are disposiable and so on in his trash talk y9u would get sick at some of it too.

so sometimes it may be valid and people may have been hurt like i was.

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RE: Why So many Subs/slave feel like they are going to ... - 9/30/2004 9:06:52 PM

sub4hire

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Thank you for the compliment Feline. Oddly even one of my professors in college asked me the same thing when I ran into her about 5 years ago in Vegas. "What is the name of your book?"
I'm not an english major. I guess in reality with all the grammar checks now it would'nt matter but, some part of me just refuses to use those things. If you see a typo or a mis-spelled word its me..all me.
Maybe someday when I decide to re-invent myself. No thoughts on being published at the moment though.

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