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how to find a good sub? - 10/14/2010 9:32:20 PM

baycitymibi

Posts: 15
Joined: 8/28/2004
Status: offline

i am a dominate gay male master...have plenty of vanilla men, and those who like to 'try' things, but those looking for a Master seem to be looking for a free ride, or have drug/alcohol problems.

where do masters find good subs, that are good men also?

do masters let go of subs, slaves? any ideas?

my friend has two subs, both of which he got from friends.

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RE: how to find a good sub? - 10/14/2010 9:37:12 PM

sofldan

Posts: 150
Joined: 11/15/2008
Status: offline

try the clubs, go to local events, check out profiles on the site. That would be a way to start. There are many great people with good resources here and I'm sure one of them can give you some more help. May you find what you're looking for.

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Hey lemme tie you up, all the cool kids are doing it!

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RE: how to find a good sub? - 10/15/2010 2:22:52 AM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
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Assuming that really is you in your pic, seems to me you've been around the block enough times to know the answer ain't on the shelf of some specialty store you're hoping to find directions to. Not even if your friends apparently pass subs around like yesterday's newspaper....

You've probably had non D/s type relationships before finding the lifestyle so try and think in terms of subs being sentient human beings, too.... Did you stay with partners you no longer felt connected to or "let them go"?

And I guess my own question would be.... Are you seeking an actual submissive partner or merely hand luggage to feel you belong in your particular circle of "friends"? I ask because good people and good relationships aren't just found - they're cultivated, nurtured, made to feel safe and cared about blah blah....

Crikey, I'm really saying this to someone at least my own age.... <shiver>

Focus.

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RE: how to find a good sub? - 10/15/2010 5:00:40 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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This is like saying you want to get married and are aggrieved because a friend doesn't pass his wife along to you. Finding someone whom you like, enjoy as friends, have a great deal of commonality with, and also have a high degree of fetish/sexual compatibility is not ever easy. The fact that you think it should be probably is at the heart of why you're unattached.

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RE: how to find a good sub? - 10/15/2010 5:10:36 AM

crazyml

Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline

Hello,

I've just taken a look at your profile, and I'd say it needs a little work. By using all caps in much of the text, you're coming across as a bit "shouty". I'd sincerely advise you to revisit your profile. Be clearer about what, and who, you're after, and what and who you are (and what you have to offer).

The next piece of advice I'd give is be patient, I don't think you'll have trouble finding someone.

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RE: how to find a good sub? - 10/15/2010 9:11:15 AM

Zevar

Posts: 801
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quote:

ORIGINAL: baycitymibi

i am a dominate gay male master...have plenty of vanilla men, and those who like to 'try' things, but those looking for a Master seem to be looking for a free ride, or have drug/alcohol problems.

where do masters find good subs, that are good men also?

do masters let go of subs, slaves? any ideas?

my friend has two subs, both of which he got from friends.

Unfortunately what you describe in terms of the submissive men you have known and the fact that they want a free ride is not uncommon among society today, homosexual or otherwise. Although where I am from, San Francisco, there are many gay men that I know as friends who find more submissive men who are insincere than not. I do not like to be the bearer of bad new by sharing this with you. Facts do present from time to time though.

Regarding finding someone who is characteristically reliable and also submissive is challenging, from what I hear from many of my gay male friends who identify as dominant. There are a few of my gay male friends who share in committed relating, but over all there are more who do not and struggle with locating submissive men that have a reliable character.

The challenge is real and all you can do is be astute when meeting submissive men. Doing so will allow you to make choices that not only serve you sexually but also characteristically. By being who you are in an uncompromising way will also send a message that you are not a man who is capable of being used by those who might believe to be able to be less than sincere in their interacting with you.

As one of my good friends says often, who is a gay man, I am going to pull up my boot straps, flex these muscles of mine and get out in that BIG World and give Life all I have , else I will wilt away wondering and waiting.” I am not implying you are not living your Life. What I am saying is that even though there are times when you do not find what you seek this just means; somewhere just around the corner another approach will enhance your abilities in your searching for the man you seek.

There are plenty of fish in the sea. It is how you throw your line out that allows for the catch of your Life. Never forget some that are caught are far too immature and must be released. Keep fishing in spite of it all, aye!

Take care !

(in reply to baycitymibi)

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RE: how to find a good sub? - 10/15/2010 9:47:55 AM

poise

Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
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You've asked this very same question 5 years ago, and while your location has since changed,
the answers remain the same. Becoming involved here in the forums is one great way of being
visible to anyone who may be seeking, but you have to give them a little more to chew on.
All 13 of your posts are about give me give me give me....I want a sub...etc. Make them want YOU also.

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RE: how to find a good sub? - 10/23/2010 9:49:57 AM

txurinal

Posts: 209
Joined: 9/26/2009
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In the gay community, i would guess 90% are submissive or bottoms. Tops and dominant are often hard to find so finding someone like YOU is hard. YOU need to just keep looking. Unfortunately one must wade through a lot of trash to find a treasure.

No one believe this but i actually met my last MASTERS at church

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RE: how to find a good sub? - 10/25/2010 9:25:30 AM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
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I grab my bitches by knocking em on the head... some light bondage in the form of hogtie.... gag em with my dirty undies...toss em into the "cargo Hold" Then ship em to the marketplace.

Lemme know how this concept works out for you.

All the Best. BadOne

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RE: how to find a good sub? - 10/25/2010 9:51:39 AM

TotalDiscipline

Posts: 225
Joined: 5/5/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: baycitymibi

i am a dominate gay male master...have plenty of vanilla men, and those who like to 'try' things, but those looking for a Master seem to be looking for a free ride, or have drug/alcohol problems.

where do masters find good subs, that are good men also?

do masters let go of subs, slaves? any ideas?

my friend has two subs, both of which he got from friends.

"dominate">> "Dominant" gay male Master

anyway....just be yourself and have patience. It might take a while to meet someone with the same thoughts as you.
Posting on the forum, having a journal on the frontpage and visiting the chatrooms might speed things up. And in real life...clubs and munches perhaps.

(in reply to baycitymibi)

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RE: how to find a good sub? - 10/25/2010 9:57:31 AM

anniezz338

Posts: 1183
Joined: 8/17/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

I grab my bitches by knocking em on the head... some light bondage in the form of hogtie.... gag em with my dirty undies...toss em into the "cargo Hold" Then ship em to the marketplace.

Lemme know how this concept works out for you.

All the Best. BadOne

That was just totally funny....well done

OP, that is really a universal subject. Lots of people out there looking for each other, for that other person that makes your insides smile when you see them, etc. What may be a good sub to you may be a bad sub to someone else. It's just finding the right person.

(in reply to SailingBum)

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RE: how to find a good sub? - 10/25/2010 12:54:42 PM

Madame4a

Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline

There's a gay leathermen's event every weekend somewhere in the US... so, if you want someone, a real person... go meet people in person at events, meetings and workshops...

some of the larger events during the year that might interest you are Claw in Cleveland in April, International Mr. Leather in Chicago over Labor Day... International Leather/Sir which I think was just in San Francisco... and there are various Master/slave weekends around the country.. one in Phoenix, one in the mid-west, one in Dallas and one in DC... think there is also one in Norther or Central CA...

there are also Mast chapters all over the country...

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You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

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RE: how to find a good sub? - 10/25/2010 12:56:00 PM

Madame4a

Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
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Really? where do you get that stat?

quote:

ORIGINAL: txurinal

In the gay community, i would guess 90% are submissive or bottoms. Tops and dominant are often hard to find so finding someone like YOU is hard. YOU need to just keep looking. Unfortunately one must wade through a lot of trash to find a treasure.

No one believe this but i actually met my last MASTERS at church

_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to txurinal)

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Post #: 13