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sunshinemiss -> RE: is lying ever ok? (10/16/2010 6:42:00 PM)
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Just for the lovely Winnie Dee -
I understood the OP's reluctance to tell something even to someone important. I don't think lying is the best option, but sometimes withholding information is necessary. Years ago, I found a lump in my breast.
When I found the lump in my breast, I needed some time to deal with my own feelings, my own fears, my own inner crazies before I could tell anyone. I told my boss I needed some extra time at lunch one day (for a mammogram), and he was all "we need more work, blah blah blah." And I just looked at him. I was the best worker there, and he saw the look on my face. "Yeah, ok, take as much time as you want." Thank you, says I. He knew it had to be serious and that I, unlike my co-workers, wouldn't tell him about it until after the fact. (One gal had once said - sorry I can't come to work. My brother is in jail and I need to bail him out.... *blink blink* Jeesh... grow a little privacy, will ya'?)..... oh, and no, no cancer, no nothing, just thick skin... I don't want to hear about being thick headed either!
Fast forward... No, I don't always think people should always tell someone their stuff right away. Sometimes, some people need a little space. Perhaps this is one of those ... "I have something to tell you, but I'm not quite ready yet. Please give me a little time to manage my own emotions and thoughts" times.
It can be traumatizing for very private people to be required to spit it all out when they haven't come to some semblance of grips with their difficulties. Our society has become so open - we watch reality television, we spew our day to day goings on via social networking, we can watch surgeries on television (talk about being open!) We seem to have mislaid our very healthy privacy. For some folks, it is more important, more necessary than for others.
And by the way, the breast in my lump? Happened 20 years ago. I've rarely mentioned it - even to my friends who have also found lumps.
best,
sunshine
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