the need to feel safe and the need to feel like the group (Full Version)

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pickmeup -> the need to feel safe and the need to feel like the group (10/16/2010 2:50:56 AM)

i had recently discovered that some ppl arent so kind to my young look. yes i look young but please dont be alarmed to my young look. i know that one RUDE person had reported me as beign guy. whatever he my decide i am. if you speak to me enough and know me enough, i would like to explain to AND would LOVE for you to know 1) I AM FEMALE 2) IM NOT UNDERAGE. i would like to get that across as much as possible.. i have a reason for being as picky as i am for revealing my identity as so and i feel that it should be respected. im very sorry if you feel that i am so whatever i was reported as.. as me what you will and please by all means ask for more pictures, cause i will not stand for SHIT HERE. I CAME HERE TO FEEL LIKE I WASNT A FREAK AND NOT FEEL DENYED AND I WOULD LIKE MY GOD DAMNED RESPECT HANDED TO ME. I HAVE FELT THIS WAY SINCE I WAS 17 AND I DONT NEED IT NOW!!!!! I MEAN IT!!!!!! I AM NOW AN ADULT AND EXPECT TO BE TREATED LIKE A RESPECTFUL ONE!!!!! AND IF YOU GUYS ARE LEARY OF ME THINK OF WHY EXACTLY YOU ARE HERE, TOO!!!



sunshinemiss -> RE: the need to feel safe and the need to feel like the group (10/16/2010 3:14:00 AM)

Spoken just like a mature and responsible adult.  Mmm hmmm. 



soul2share -> RE: the need to feel safe and the need to feel like the group (10/16/2010 3:16:22 AM)

Well, hun, you may be an adult, but your grammar, spelling and sentence structure smacks of that of a 15 year old......if you want to be taken seriously, then you need to address your attitude and outlook.

Welcome to the internet........



DarkSteven -> RE: the need to feel safe and the need to feel like the group (10/16/2010 3:50:00 AM)

Hi!  I am male and I'm not underage either.

You're cute and guys will try to engage you in conversation.  One of the ploys is to harp on your age.  Block, delete, move on.

And welcome to collarme!



myotherself -> RE: the need to feel safe and the need to feel like the group (10/16/2010 4:02:00 AM)

woooh honey - could you spit that dummy a little further?


for our furren friends...dummy = pacifier



BonesFromAsh -> RE: the need to feel safe and the need to feel like the group (10/16/2010 4:03:38 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: pickmeup

I AM NOW AN ADULT AND EXPECT TO BE TREATED LIKE A RESPECTFUL ONE!!!!!



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KpSfThUv_pc





DarkSteven -> RE: the need to feel safe and the need to feel like the group (10/16/2010 4:07:18 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself

for our furren friends...dummy = pacifier


And for the non-US ones, binky = pacifier



KatyLied -> RE: the need to feel safe and the need to feel like the group (10/16/2010 4:32:20 AM)

Something is not quite right.  The OP doth protest too much.



poise -> RE: the need to feel safe and the need to feel like the group (10/16/2010 6:21:16 AM)

Firstly, please quit your yelling/caps. We are also adults who have learned the fine art of deciphering
your issues without you having to get all dramatic and scream at the top of your keyboard.

Secondly, we have never seen you before, this is your first post, and you demand that respect be
handed to you? You first need to respect yourself before you can handle and appreciate
anyone elses, and there is no evidence of that in this post.

Thirdly. you are cute as a button, regardless of your age, but this whole post has made you very unattractive.
A good way to doll yourself back up is go introduce yourself in the Introduction thread. Leave out the whining
bits about the rude people you have come across, and tell us a bit about you as a mature 19 year old girl.
The responses are certain to be a lot more positive than the ones you get here. Best of luck!



lizi -> RE: the need to feel safe and the need to feel like the group (10/16/2010 6:33:55 AM)

Oh for crying out loud...my first response to this thread is to put you on a timeout. Stomping your feet is never attractive and demanding respect is the sure way not to get it. Which you should know by now if you ARE an adult, maybe the people saying you are underage are on to something.

As DS pointed out, a common ploy on sites like this is for men to say they want pics and/or video to prove you are a female. The dudes are trying to A. Get attention from you, doesn't matter that it's negative. B. See boobies and/or more. How can you not see through this obvious ruse? [8|]  It's like being in elementary school and the boy who sits in back of you pulls your hair to get a rise out of you because he likes you and wants you to notice him.
Another ploy is to say you are underage. My response would be to ignore them or report them.

If you are an adult, which is debatable by the tone of your post, then act like one.



Selectivelight -> RE: the need to feel safe and the need to feel like the group (10/16/2010 6:36:38 AM)

Everything poise said, except... in my case, it's too late. This kind of first impression is going to linger from where I'm sitting.

You might be of legal age, but you're certainly not behaving like anything more than a petulant child. Do yourself a favor next time, stop, read, think. -Think again- then decide if you want to submit that post.



OsideGirl -> RE: the need to feel safe and the need to feel like the group (10/16/2010 9:05:53 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: pickmeup
I WOULD LIKE MY GOD DAMNED RESPECT HANDED TO ME.
Respect is earned, not handed out. And judging from that statement, you have a long way to go.



pickmeup -> RE: the need to feel safe and the need to feel like the group (10/16/2010 11:15:52 AM)

okay so here is my second attempt to try and explain what i was getting at last night.. i type like i speak young yes. but here is the thing. the person who reprted me reported me with out speaking to me first. i had told him that i was one female and two 19. and im sorrry if some of my anger came out wrong i was really really angry. and i am now just more so hurt than anything else. honestly i came here for friends not to be judged what so ever, and that post was not a very good start at welcoming myself into the group. i WAS NOT sober when i posted.. but please try to understand why i was angry, i wasnt angry cause i was reported, i was and am hurt and angry because my comfort level had been violated and i was asked to give out personal information i didnt and USUALLY dont like to give out right away. there are ways that you should be on the internet to save yourself sometimes from perverts and that, i have dealt with them for the last three years and i had JUST got a new email account one i use here and one i dont. i dont want to flood either one of them with people that are just gonna hassle me about something i had already told them in a message that i dont wanna do. and if thats so hard for some of you or all of you to do or understand, than i guess im not welcome here and thanks for your guys time and the friends i have gotten from here.



pickmeup -> RE: the need to feel safe and the need to feel like the group (10/16/2010 11:21:12 AM)

so i guess in my post what i was asking is that my comfort level be respected not me..



DarkSteven -> RE: the need to feel safe and the need to feel like the group (10/16/2010 11:24:28 AM)

pickmeup, your comfort level is your concern.  If someone violates it, block, delete, and move on. It will bother you as much as you let it.

That said, you may want to consider another username as yours sounds like a come-on.



poise -> RE: the need to feel safe and the need to feel like the group (10/16/2010 11:25:06 AM)

You have immersed yourself in a social setting where there are a variety of personalities that are going to
approach you. Treat this just as you would if you were walking on stage in a packed auditorium.
Are you going to stand there yelling at everyone in the audience because you met some creep?
If the audience asked you to take off your pants to prove you were a woman, would you do that as well?
The internet doesnt mean the rules of social conduct change. People are going to say
things you dont like and ask you to do things you dont want to do. Block, delete, and move on.



pickmeup -> RE: the need to feel safe and the need to feel like the group (10/16/2010 11:28:41 AM)

again i am really sorry that my angry was directed in the wrong way, i just read in a few messages i got in my own inbox that i was reported in the message boards as well... i wasnt happy and really not sober...



Lockit -> RE: the need to feel safe and the need to feel like the group (10/16/2010 11:33:07 AM)

Whoa, chill. Give me a moment here because I do understand some of what might be happening as I always looked like a minor when I was well into my adult years and have my own stories... but... I have to go tough on you just like I would my own child of adult age.

This all starts and ends with you. How you act and what position you put yourself into and you need to take accountability for that. For the most part you are dealing with older people here and not many are going to fall for the everyone is out to get me. To start with some idiot expects you to give personal information to prove yourself. Your response is to roll your eyes, laugh, move on... don't let the idiot push you around and don't blame everyone for his being an idiot. If someone reports you, how do you know they did and do you know what the response of CM will be? No, you don't know these things so you may be jumping the gun here and getting all excited because somebody or a few somebodies jumped your ass.

If you walk in the door expecting to be treated good or bad, you are again at the forefront of that. Stop lashing out sober or not and settle down. You are accountable for how you act and there are no excuses for poor behavior except you had some poor behavior. Focus on you and not what everyone else is saying or doing and that will show some maturity that will endear you to those of us who will welcome you no matter your age, gender or whatever.

Your behavior is a good example of an angry teen that is expecting that the world evolves around them and god damn it, you people better respect that! No, it doesn't work that way for you or anyone. We aren't your parent and remember when you were ever so cute that when you weren't cute we would over look it. You want to be treated like an adult, act like one.

I went through many things by adults who thought I was just a kid because of how I looked... not how I acted. I was raising a family at a very young age... with four step children and soon one of my own. I wasn't accepted because people thought I was twelve and in stores the adults would just push me out of the way so they could hurry to do their adult business. I know some of the pain of looking younger than I was, but I didn't add to the problem by acting the age they thought I was. So while I understand, I also understand that you have some refining to do.

Put the booze away and wake up... this isn't myspace or facebook and although some adults act like it is, those that could flame you for acting as you are, do not and you really must chill. There is no excuse for becoming less mature because someone else was. Take a step back and watch and wait, but if you come in lashing out, you will be treated like the child you are acting. No matter the age or gender or whatever, it's just that way out there.



angelikaJ -> RE: the need to feel safe and the need to feel like the group (10/16/2010 11:52:05 AM)

I'm not sure who requested the personal information.
Did the guy just state he reposted your profile or was there a follow-up by a CM administrator?

Don't take offense at the "You're a guy!" guys. They're just acting out because they have poor social skills and believe the way to handle rejection is to reject you before they have a chance to be rejected.

It is hard not to take this stuff personally, but it really isn't personal.

At 19 it's hard to be told to toughen up.
I won't do that.
I will tell you to try to keep things in perspective.
Don't let your experience here be define by the jerks.

edit: spelling



SmartAssOrchid -> RE: the need to feel safe and the need to feel like the group (10/16/2010 1:23:00 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

pickmeup, your comfort level is your concern.  If someone violates it, block, delete, and move on. It will bother you as much as you let it.

That said, you may want to consider another username as yours sounds like a come-on.



This, especially the first part, is very wise advice, and it translates to the so-called "real world."   Remember it.



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