Things that affect your service. (Full Version)

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twicehappy -> Things that affect your service. (4/25/2006 4:52:41 PM)

I have a few questions for both male and female subs/slaves, though i would also be interested in any Doms/Dommes views on whether or not they are of the opinion that any of these things affects their subs/slaves behavior and in what ways.


How do you feel when serving your Master or Mistress at a task you enjoy?

At a task you do not enjoy?

Are you more likely to perform tasks willingly if your sexual need is high at the time you are performing a task you do not enjoy? Or are you more likely to perform tasks you do not enjoy more willingly if your sexual desires are satiated?

Are you generally happy serving in any way throughout your daily routine or not?

Do you think being sexually gratified or sexually denied either one affects your overall submissiveness? If so, why?

I am really interested in hearing the male and female points of view on this as we have been discussing at great length a topic these questions may help us find an answer to.




KarbonCopy -> RE: Things that affect your service. (4/25/2006 5:18:34 PM)

I absolutely hate housework.

I work 10 hours a day on my feet  physical  labour.

I find it incredibly hard to muster any strength at the end of the day to start doing housework.






BitaTruble -> RE: Things that affect your service. (4/25/2006 5:20:58 PM)

quote:




How do you feel when serving your Master or Mistress at a task you enjoy?


I doesn't feel like service especially if it's something I'd be doing anyway.

quote:

At a task you do not enjoy?


That is when I feel I'm being of the most use to Himself. It's where I am most complete, pushing to do those things that I would not normally choose to do if left to my own devices but doing them anyway because it pleases him that I do so.

quote:

Are you more likely to perform tasks willingly if your sexual need is high at the time you are performing a task you do not enjoy?


It doesn't matter. I do what is required of me willingly whether I enjoy it or not and regardless of any sexual energy which may be going on at any given moment. 

quote:

Or are you more likely to perform tasks you do not enjoy more willingly if your sexual desires are satiated?


As stated above, doesn't matter.

quote:

Are you generally happy serving in any way throughout your daily routine or not?


Indeed I am. Serving him is my number one priority.

quote:

Do you think being sexually gratified or sexually denied either one affects your overall submissiveness? If so, why?


No, not at all. I am what I am all the time. I am not 'more' or 'less' submissive because I may be horny or not.

Celeste




catize -> RE: Things that affect your service. (4/25/2006 5:23:13 PM)

If I enjoy the task, then I'm just happy it pleases us both.
If I don't enjoy the task, I focus on the fact that I have agreed to submit and obey, it is my responsibility.  I like a challenge, and so it becomes an exercise in proving that I am willing to please him with my actions, not just my words.
My sexual satisfaction or lack thereof for any given moment is not the issue; the issue is my submission. 
To have set guidelines and rules, to know that I am obedient to his commands throughout my day is very fulfilling. 
Temporary (defined as a few days) sexual denial does not affect my willingness to submit and obey.  I do admit I would have a great deal of difficulty, however, if I was seldom allowed sexual release.   




Vancouver_cinful -> RE: Things that affect your service. (4/25/2006 5:35:31 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: twicehappy
How do you feel when serving your Master or Mistress at a task you enjoy?

At a task you do not enjoy?


In some ways I feel more satisfied when I am accomplishing a task I don't enjoy. I think that's pretty common and self-explanatory.

quote:


Are you more likely to perform tasks willingly if your sexual need is high at the time you are performing a task you do not enjoy? Or are you more likely to perform tasks you do not enjoy more willingly if your sexual desires are satiated?


I don't think I really link sexual pleasure with performing tasks, unless they are sexual tasks. Washing dishes, or fetching a coke doesn't inherently turn me on. But, if my sexual need is high, then I must admit I'm likely to be distracted and less focused on non-sexual service.

quote:


Are you generally happy serving in any way throughout your daily routine or not?


If you mean does service generally make me happy, yes. I like serving by doing daily, or special, tasks, both.

quote:


Do you think being sexually gratified or sexually denied either one affects your overall submissiveness? If so, why?


Well, if I'm cranky from not enough sex then, yes, I imagine I'll be a bit on the sullen side. That's my nature; I'm hedonistic, not stoic. I'm not attracted to pleasure denial, in general. (Although delayed gratification can be a very awesome form of torture, when handled properly.)

In general I'd say, that being content, and well-loved, makes me more pliable. 

Cin




slavejali -> RE: Things that affect your service. (4/25/2006 5:37:17 PM)

If  I enjoy the task thats cool, I get it done, thats that. When I dont enjoy a task, rather than being motivated by a sexual energy to do it, it provokes a sexual energy, my submission is really tied up in my sexuality that way. Guess its like Bita said, when your doing stuff you dont enjoy it really gives you an experience of feeling your really being pleasing, kinda feeling the line where if you were left to your own devices you just might not do it at all, so it really touches on your submission/slavery center...and that is what sexually charges me.

Regarding sexual gratification and if it effects my feelings of slavery..yes and no. I really love the feeling of being used sexually, it is part of my submission...so if that wasnt happening I would probably be one sad slave. Yet saying that, I did live with a partner for 4 years and there was no sex but there was definately a D/s dynamic....and I was happy.....so... yet at the same time...after that relationship ended and I came back into a full on Master/slave bdsm relationship I realised some part of me had closed down from that period without sex...so really its a yes and no answer for me on that part of your OP.




puella -> RE: Things that affect your service. (4/25/2006 5:40:18 PM)

I am hesitant to reply here, for any number of reasons.. but here goes:

I loved serving him.  Now that I am not with him, it is like the color has been sucked out of everything, even in serving those around me now whom I love. Whether it was a task I enjoyed or not, I loved serving him.  It was not based on any real motivation, not sex, not gratification, not rewarding... those things were routinely denied..those were not things that tested the mettle of the nature of my service to him. It was organic and was just a part of the way I loved him.  I am, however, very naturally service oriented.  But to that I will add that though I love helping most people, serving, to various degrees, most people.. something happened with him that was a transcendence.  I suppose love and the conscious and cognizant choice of total surrender to him made that happen... but I must also attribute the wonder of it all,  more than anything else, to the man himself. 

I can not say that there was anything in service to him that I ever begrudged or didn't actually ache to give to him. 

I certainly can not speak for anyone but myself, and even that is not always something that is a good idea for me to do ;)  But I would say that (and perhaps some others will know what I am saying and word it more eloquently than I can in this current space that is left for me), if you are one who loves to please, the task is not necessarily important, or as important as who you are serving.  Like I said, serving him was the most wonderful experience of my life, the most moving, the most profound, the most honest... serving others with whom, not only was I not so deeply and intimately bonded, but also to whom there was a lot of negativity and animosity, was just as profound, but in the directly opposite direction.

I guess when it's right, it's right, and when it's wrong.. it's destruction?




slavejali -> RE: Things that affect your service. (4/25/2006 5:48:37 PM)

I really liked your post puella, its very true, the connection really does make a difference. I can relate to being a service orientated individual...yet to feel that charge from it, that D/s charge, the connection has to be there and although I love serving all kinds of people in various ways, its simply not the same as with Master.




YoungSub22 -> RE: Things that affect your service. (4/25/2006 6:46:30 PM)

I can't agree more Puella.  I have had boyfriends in the past that I liked serving, but when I wasn't in the mood, I would definately tell them no.  Now, with my Dom, I would never consider telling him know.  I just love knowing that all the things I do please him, whether he asks for them or not.  If I know he likes his coffee a certain way, his clothes washed a certain way, his back rubbed a certain way, a certain type of music, I make sure to provide it all, whether it is something I enjoy or not.  I get pleasure from pleasing him.  And I think a lot of that comes fromc aring for him.




ownedgirlie -> RE: Things that affect your service. (4/25/2006 7:02:53 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: twicehappy

How do you feel when serving your Master or Mistress at a task you enjoy?

At a task you do not enjoy?

It seems the tasks I least enjoy end up causing me to feel closer to him. Some of the most difficult things I have done for him, while hellish at the time, were the catalyst which launched me deeper into my submission.  The harder he sees me work for him, the prouder he is, the more i want to work.  Thus, while it is quite pleasurable to do the things I enjoy, it seems it is the things I do not which help me grow.


quote:


Are you more likely to perform tasks willingly if your sexual need is high at the time you are performing a task you do not enjoy? Or are you more likely to perform tasks you do not enjoy more willingly if your sexual desires are satiated?

I perform all tasks willingly, regardless of any influence, sexual or not.

quote:


Are you generally happy serving in any way throughout your daily routine or not?

I don't live with him so I don't have day to day domestic chores, but I do things for him daily and I am absolutely happy doing them.  I am amazed he wishes to own me, so anything he wants of me, I am happy to do.

quote:


Do you think being sexually gratified or sexually denied either one affects your overall submissiveness? If so, why?

No, my submissiveness is always as deep as I can be.  However when he toys with me and holds me on the edge for prolonged periods of time, I become so riled up, so beg-ful (is that a word?!), that I may feel my submission more - - in a heightened state, if you will.  But my submissiveness to him is consistent, no matter.





subjected2006 -> RE: Things that affect your service. (4/25/2006 7:25:47 PM)

There are very few things that can distract from the pleasure i feel serving Master.
In the toughest of moments His dominance cloaks me..and i feel protected.
Soothed.
Obeying Him gives my life  continuity.
Someone here in a recent thread said something about as a slave we submit just once and then it is out of  our control...
I remember my first deliberate surrender.
But for the life of me i can not remember what it was like to feel i had a choice.
Maybe i never really did ...









truesub4u -> RE: Things that affect your service. (4/25/2006 7:44:26 PM)

I don't need sex to be motivated to serve. I'm a fast thinker on me feet. And if it's something i'm not enjoying... depending on what it is... will determine how I show my enjoyment or displeasure in doing what is intructed of me. And depending on if it's messing with a hard limit... or moral ethics... on if it gets done at all. Most Dominants I have talked to... played with.. have had little problems with knowing I serve... I serve willingly... openingly... but in my mind... questionably and quickly move if my mind tells me all is good. Which is something I look to not have to do someday.. stop and make that quick mental  thought and picture.... just hear and go with it...  




Vancouver_cinful -> RE: Things that affect your service. (4/25/2006 7:52:46 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: truesub4u
I serve willingly... openingly... but in my mind... questionably and quickly move if my mind tells me all is good. Which is something I look to not have to do someday.. stop and make that quick mental  thought and picture.... just hear and go with it...  


Amen, I hear ya, girlie!! I think that kind of instinctual obediance is something that will only come in time, with the right person.

Hugs, C.




MistWalker -> RE: Things that affect your service. (4/25/2006 8:07:58 PM)

hmmm.. well the question of sexual need motivating dosent  so much aply, outside of specificly serving sexualy, i dont tie anything else i do to that side of things. in day to day service, i dont see how the bedroom side even begins to relate. for us anyway...  by nature i,i dont if i want to say enjoy, but close enough, doing house work, due to disabilitys theres few outside jobs, that would hold my intrest that i can do. so im a house boy more or less. everythign that needs be done in our household i take care of, from cleaning to laundry, to making sure bills are payed and accounted for. its simply  what i do, seldome is anything instructed, unless its some specific item wished done that day. if  i see it and it needs to be done i do it.  and i expect nothing in return, save the smile, and her comfort in returning home from school or work to a clean home..

as to things haveing an effect on my service, again my disability limits me at times, though its been somethign i have lived with since teens, ive grown acostomed to working around it., there are though days im still limited. but i try and prepare for those as best i can by keeping things caught up so if need be a day can go by with little to nothing done. . house service wise...




twicehappy -> RE: Things that affect your service. (4/26/2006 3:14:20 AM)

There is nothing wrong with being a stay at home sub/slave, lol, it took my new owners to convince me of that. Your answer, which is the 1st from a male surprised and pleased me. I appreciate all the answers from everyone who has responded so far.




twicehappy -> RE: Things that affect your service. (4/26/2006 3:18:10 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

quote:

Are you more likely to perform tasks willingly if your sexual need is high at the time you are performing a task you do not enjoy?


It doesn't matter. I do what is required of me willingly whether I enjoy it or not and regardless of any sexual energy which may be going on at any given oment. Celeste


You answer most closely resembles my own, it does not matter to me either i am pleased to be serving.




twicehappy -> RE: Things that affect your service. (4/26/2006 3:22:30 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali

When I dont enjoy a task, rather than being motivated by a sexual energy to do it, it provokes a sexual energy, my submission is really tied up in my sexuality that way.


I have to admit i agree with this statement. What i am trying to discover here is the way these things affect service in general and more specifically the ways it affects both genders and the differences if any.




twicehappy -> RE: Things that affect your service. (4/26/2006 3:25:37 AM)

 puella;Thank you for sharing through your pain, someday you will find yourself at the feet of another who paints the colors back in your world.




twicehappy -> RE: Things that affect your service. (4/26/2006 3:28:12 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

quote:


Do you think being sexually gratified or sexually denied either one affects your overall submissiveness? If so, why?


No, my submissiveness is always as deep as I can be.  However when he toys with me and holds me on the edge for prolonged periods of time, I become so riled up, so beg-ful (is that a word?!), that I may feel my submission more - - in a heightened state, if you will.  But my submissiveness to him is consistent, no matter.


Lol, i think the word is needful, when this is done to me it is so good and so bad at that same time it gives a whole new definition to the term masochism.




LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Things that affect your service. (4/26/2006 5:37:56 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: twicehappy
How do you feel when serving your Master or Mistress at a task you enjoy?

Usually good.
quote:


At a task you do not enjoy?

Sometimes good, sometimes not good.

quote:

Are you more likely to perform tasks willingly if your sexual need is high at the time you are performing a task you do not enjoy?

No, I'm more likely to be active and at the ready if I'm well fed and stocked with energy- that includes food, sleep, sex, and family connection.
quote:


Are you generally happy serving in any way throughout your daily routine or not?

Happiness is a transient state.  Sometimes I have PMS and while everything COULD be going faboo- I'll just be out of whack due to hormones.  You deal.

No, I'm not always happy serving all the time, but generally, yes I'm happy doing the day to day stuff that needs to get done.

quote:

Do you think being sexually gratified or sexually denied either one affects your overall submissiveness? If so, why?

It doesn't effect my submissiveness so much as it affects my overall state and fulfillment.  I feed on sexual energy, it is my wellspring.  Being denied that connection would be like denying a christian his prayer- and a suffering and needy soul always affects the rest of one's self.




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