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How to make the most of this site?? - 10/18/2010 4:48:06 AM   
Noz03


Posts: 3
Joined: 10/18/2010
Status: offline 		Hi everyone, just joined after being a member of a few other sites over the last year and am a bit unsure of how to use this site.

First of all my main concern is... all the female members in my area are super hot and write that they are looking for guys to fuck.... Not saying this is a bad thing but I often beleive in the rule that if something is too good to be true then it usually is. Especially when you look at the average member on other BDSM sites and they are usually pretty average people, some fat, some old, just people into kink.

So the second question is, how can I make the most of this site? I am currently living in Turkey and looking for real life friends (not just play partners, although I may be open to it) with similar interests to my own and of who I can learn from. Of course the groups are a great place for this but how can I specifically find members in my area this way? And how about cold messaging? And any other ways to meet people?

Really hope this site turns out to be as wonderful for me as I think it can be. Thanks for any help you may be able to provide!

-Noz

< Message edited by Noz03 -- 10/18/2010 4:52:26 AM >
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: How to make the most of this site?? - 10/18/2010 5:11:23 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		Use these forums, rather than depending on the other side to find folks.   This side, when you participate, allow people to get a better idea of the person you are.   READ the FAQs for each forum you use.  BE YOURSELF. 

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to Noz03)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: How to make the most of this site?? - 10/18/2010 5:55:16 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		What do you want to use it for?  You can use it to meet play partners/life partners, to learn, and to just chat with friendly people.  I use it for all three.

And yes, the beautiful women wanting nothing more than a quick fuck are almost always scams.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: How to make the most of this site?? - 10/18/2010 7:57:28 AM   
OohAahMrs


Posts: 7723
Joined: 7/14/2010
Status: offline 		Welcome Noz, keep wearing the hat!

_____________________________

You may choc the choc.........Oh forget it......

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Profile   Post #: 4
RE: How to make the most of this site?? - 10/18/2010 9:55:41 AM   
tiggerspoohbear


Posts: 19141
Joined: 6/27/2010
Status: offline 		Welcome to CM and the boards.  Good luck.

_____________________________

"RABBIT IS GOOD, RABBIT IS WISE".

"I'm a baaa-aaad pussycat".


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Profile   Post #: 5
RE: How to make the most of this site?? - 10/18/2010 11:08:55 AM   
Noz03


Posts: 3
Joined: 10/18/2010
Status: offline 		Thanks for the encourangement :) I do have 2 more specific questions though. So, if most people on here at prostitutes how do you tell them apart from the others? And how can I meet people in my area (Turkey) from the boards? Maybe Im missing it but I cant see any localized forums on here.

(in reply to tiggerspoohbear)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: How to make the most of this site?? - 10/18/2010 11:17:14 AM   
tiggerspoohbear


Posts: 19141
Joined: 6/27/2010
Status: offline 		Most people on here are not prostitutes, they're everyday people looking for real relationships with real people that match up with each other in a lot of different ways.  Others are already in relationships, be they kinky, and are here for the forums and ignore the other side.  You misinterpreted what Steven said, nowhere did he mention prostitution. 

There must be a way for you to use the "search" feature on the other side to set up either your city or country and find people within the distance you're willing to travel or have them travel if you can't find anyone local to your area.  Best advice I've got, may not be the best, but it's all I can think of.  And I'm not in much of a thinking mood, I iz sick!!!    

_____________________________

"RABBIT IS GOOD, RABBIT IS WISE".

"I'm a baaa-aaad pussycat".


(in reply to Noz03)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: How to make the most of this site?? - 10/18/2010 11:31:45 AM   
Noz03


Posts: 3
Joined: 10/18/2010
Status: offline 		Sorry, maybe "most" might be a strong word. Well maybe its a problem relating to the area Im in but when I search for females under 30 in Turkey I would say the majority of the people on there seem like prostitutes, or some kind of scam. Who knows, maybe I will just message a few and see what happens. Though that is the other problem, again specifically bad in my area as Turkish guys have a culture of cold messaging girls A LOT (including in non bdsm or "hookup" sites) the girls are very deffensive :( Basically what Im saying is I would expect the prostitutes or scams to be the only ones who reply.

Sorry if Im coming here and seeming very negative. I see this site to have great potential but just with a few problems, or rather obstacles I would like to overcome.

(in reply to tiggerspoohbear)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: How to make the most of this site?? - 10/18/2010 11:56:50 AM   
tiggerspoohbear


Posts: 19141
Joined: 6/27/2010
Status: offline 		Cold messaging is done quite regularly when you find someone you're interested in.  What's not considered "OK" is to be rude or vulgar or not to have bothered reading the person's profile first. 

As long as you're polite and mindful of your manners, there's nothing wrong with sending out a message first.  How else is communication going to begin? 

But don't send mass messages to numerous people or just send a one word message.  Take some time to craft your message and re-read it before you send it.  Since females are your target audience, chatting about shared interests, what you like to do outside of kink, and what attracted you to her profile are great ways to start.  This isn't rocket science, it's courtesy and trying to reach out to someone you may have something in common with.



_____________________________

"RABBIT IS GOOD, RABBIT IS WISE".

"I'm a baaa-aaad pussycat".


(in reply to Noz03)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: How to make the most of this site?? - 10/18/2010 4:57:30 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Noz03

1. if most people on here at prostitutes how do you tell them apart from the others?


Nope, not prostitutes.  Scams.  As in they will give you some story about being stranded and needing money.

You learn how to tell those profiles pretty quickly.  If not, just chat until they ask for money, and then drop them like a hot potato. 
quote:



2. And how can I meet people in my area (Turkey) from the boards? Maybe Im missing it but I cant see any localized forums on here. 


Someone made a profile for an Istanbul munch here: http://www.collarme.com/personals/v/1177597/qvp/1/default.htm



< Message edited by DarkSteven -- 10/18/2010 5:01:15 PM >

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Noz03)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: How to make the most of this site?? - 10/18/2010 4:58:04 PM   
DaegonNeo


Posts: 26
Joined: 10/10/2010
Status: offline 		...I thought the rule was, "All the good ones are taken. If they're not taken, there's a good reason."

(in reply to tiggerspoohbear)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: How to make the most of this site?? - 10/18/2010 5:17:49 PM   
tiggerspoohbear


Posts: 19141
Joined: 6/27/2010
Status: offline 		So in 7 days of joining, you've found a slave, yet you're still listing as looking for submissive and switch females as well as online romance?  Does that mean that since you're now "taken", the ones that haven't found their ones are defective in some way?  That's not a rule, it means not everyone has met their match yet.  Good luck in your new M/s relationship.  And don't knock those that haven't found yet.  It's demeaning and condescending. 

ETA:  Sorry for the hijack, but this just needed responding to.  I apologize in advance to the mods if I've taken it overboard, that was not my intent. 

< Message edited by tiggerspoohbear -- 10/18/2010 5:20:59 PM >

_____________________________

"RABBIT IS GOOD, RABBIT IS WISE".

"I'm a baaa-aaad pussycat".


(in reply to DaegonNeo)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: How to make the most of this site?? - 10/18/2010 6:24:01 PM   
LadyRian


Posts: 486
Joined: 9/5/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DaegonNeo

...I thought the rule was, "All the good ones are taken. If they're not taken, there's a good reason."


There are very good reasons that there are good ones who are not taken.
I'm sure this is what you're implying, isn't it. After all, you're not taken, are you.

The good reasons are... We're sick and tired of:
Users.
Losers.
Abusers.
Poseurs.
Married and Cheating.
Self Centered Gits.
Liars.
Insincere.
Immature.
Insecure.
Idiots.
Chest Beaters.
Knuckle Draggers.
Whiners.
Wankers.
Braggarts.
Egotists.
Sexists.
Clueless of any stripe.

So we have ways of determining who's worth our time, and who is not. Anyone who fits the aforementioned  jerkitude detection criteria  shows their true colours in time. Some take less time than others.

There are of course good ones out there. It just takes a bit of sifting through.
Op, if you're willing to put in the time and have patience, I'm sure you'll find the right person for you. There are scammers, yes, but you can avoid those by ceasing all communication if someone mentions "Tribute" or any form of monetary exchange.



< Message edited by LadyRian -- 10/18/2010 6:41:10 PM >

_____________________________

"Dodging bullets since 2010"

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Profile   Post #: 13
RE: How to make the most of this site?? - 10/18/2010 6:33:45 PM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline 		What????? DaegonNeo has found his one already?  Hallelujah!

To the OP. You have been here all of one day...while miracles DO happen, your girl is hardly
going to drop out of the sky and fall at your feet all on her own. I wouldn't suggest you sending any
cold messages...as they are just that, cold. It's no wonder all the women in your area appear to be
defensive if this is a habit of the men of your culture.If someone were vying for my attention, I'd
expect and prefer that it was because of an interest we shared, and not simply because I was a woman.

I would also advise you to be careful in how you word things here in the forums. Women who are sincere
in their search for a relationship may find some interest in your profile and click to see what forums posts you
have made. Assuming the majority of us are prostitutes wont sit well. hat you have to ask how to find a woman
after having visited many other sites might puzzle them as well.

< Message edited by poise -- 10/18/2010 6:36:29 PM >

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to tiggerspoohbear)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: How to make the most of this site?? - 10/18/2010 6:43:06 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyRian

quote:

ORIGINAL: DaegonNeo

...I thought the rule was, "All the good ones are taken. If they're not taken, there's a good reason."


There are very good reasons that there are good ones who are not taken.
I'm sure this is what you're implying, isn't it. After all, you're not taken, are you.

The good reasons are... We're sick and tired of:
Users.
Losers.
Abusers.
Poseurs.
Married and Cheating.
Self Centered Gits.
Liars.
Insincere.
Immature.
Insecure.
Idiots.
Chest Beaters.
Knuckle Draggers.
Whiners.
Wankers.
Braggarts.
Egotists.
Sexists.
Clueless of any stripe.

So we have ways of determining who's worth our time, and who is not. Anyone who fits the aforementioned  jerkitude detection criteria  shows their true colours in time. Some take less time than others.

There are of course good ones out there. It just takes a bit of sifting through.
Op, if you're willing to put in the time and have patience, I'm sure you'll find the right person for you. There are scammers, yes, but you can avoid those by ceasing all communication if someone mentions "Tribute" or any form of monetary exchange.




The Lady speaks the truth.

(in reply to LadyRian)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: How to make the most of this site?? - 10/18/2010 7:35:47 PM   
January


Posts: 891
Joined: 4/17/2004
Status: offline
quote:

when I search for females under 30 in Turkey I would say the majority of the people on there seem like prostitutes, or some kind of scam.


Hi Noz,

Welcome to collarme.

Why are you looking for females under 30? Why not over 30? Didn't you say you were interested in learning? Older women know stuff, sometimes even more stuff than young ones. I'm not sure why you assume all women from turkey are prostitutes. Okay, the part about wanting to "fuck", seems odd. I mean, why start out with vulgarity if she is looking for something with substance. But the beautiful part? Maybe your idea of beauty isn't everyone's. Don't dismiss a woman merely because you think she is beautiful.

Oh, and you seem far too impatient. You are asking us: where is the "MY PERFECT PARTNER IN TURKEY" button? No button here, Noz. Careful and thoughtful and patient. Try that approach.

January

_____________________________

[link: http://www.bookstrand.com/miss-you-sir] Miss You, Sir by January Rowe is available from Siren now! It's my latest smokin' hot bdsm romance.[/link]




(in reply to Noz03)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: How to make the most of this site?? - 10/19/2010 4:57:44 PM   
Griff66


Posts: 7
Joined: 10/17/2010
Status: offline 		Hello everyone, I'm Griff in Ohio and I'm new to this site.

(in reply to January)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: How to make the most of this site?? - 10/19/2010 5:01:08 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Hi, Griff!  I suggest you start your own intro thread.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Griff66)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: How to make the most of this site?? - 10/19/2010 5:05:44 PM   
Griff66


Posts: 7
Joined: 10/17/2010
Status: offline 		Hi Steve, thanks... I wasn't really sure if anyone was reading my post. So what is the topic tonight.

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: How to make the most of this site?? - 10/19/2010 5:09:22 PM   
Griff66


Posts: 7
Joined: 10/17/2010
Status: offline 		I think all women, are simply wonderful. I mean sure you come off some really pissed off ones that for what ever reason are men haters but most are stunning in nature.

(in reply to Griff66)
Profile   Post #: 20
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