RE: Mis-advice (Full Version)

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Vancouver_cinful -> RE: Mis-advice (4/26/2006 5:28:58 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BoredandUnamused
Where do people get off, telling a sub how they Must behave without knowing anything about them, anything about their personality, or even where they are as a person let alone a sub.


It's like the guy who gets lucky everytime he goes to the bar. His friends are shocked because the guy is not smart, attractive, or well-dressed, and yet he never fails.

One night they confront him and ask: How is it you get lucky everytime we're out in a bar? What's your secret?

The guy shrugs and says: I just go up and ask them if they want to f***.

The friends are speechless. This goes against everything they ever heard about women. Finally one says: And this actually works??

The guy shrugs again and says: Well, not on the first 99 I ask...

Put enough hooks in the water and you're bound to catch a fish eventually.

Nice to see you posting, "sir".

::smart-ass grin::

Cin



TemptingNviceSub -> RE: Mis-advice (4/26/2006 6:04:27 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BoredandUnamused

Ok, having talked to a few submissives here I have to ask the question;

Where do people get off, telling a sub how they Must behave without knowing anything about them, anything about their personality, or even where they are as a person let alone a sub.

Come on now, seriously, does anyone walk into a job as a boss and simply start changing all their emploees job positions the first day?
....Shrug....because they can?..Some get lucky and find a submissive naive enough to fall for such..This is where a savvy submissive must always be on her toes to seperate the gold from the dross....it is the way of the world in many male/female..or whatever kinds of human interaction...be well..Tempting



BoredandUnamused -> RE: Mis-advice (4/26/2006 10:33:29 PM)

 
Actually what I ment was walking into a job on the first day and changing everyones job, not changing the people. In other words would you walk into a job on the first day had have the accountant start doing the receptionists job and have the Sales Manager start ordering stock, or have the copy writer start doing the legal work, etc.

Of course you wouldn't.




BoredandUnamused -> RE: Mis-advice (4/26/2006 10:35:57 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Vancouver_cinful

quote:

ORIGINAL: BoredandUnamused
Where do people get off, telling a sub how they Must behave without knowing anything about them, anything about their personality, or even where they are as a person let alone a sub.


It's like the guy who gets lucky everytime he goes to the bar. His friends are shocked because the guy is not smart, attractive, or well-dressed, and yet he never fails.

One night they confront him and ask: How is it you get lucky everytime we're out in a bar? What's your secret?

The guy shrugs and says: I just go up and ask them if they want to f***.

The friends are speechless. This goes against everything they ever heard about women. Finally one says: And this actually works??

The guy shrugs again and says: Well, not on the first 99 I ask...

Put enough hooks in the water and you're bound to catch a fish eventually.

Nice to see you posting, "sir".

::smart-ass grin::

Cin


Sir?  Sir?  Hey I work for a living darn it!!!

Ok I don't get it, I tried it and all I got was my face slapped??[&:]



slavejali -> RE: Mis-advice (4/26/2006 10:47:18 PM)

There are a lot of *control* freaks out there?



ServiceNTucson -> RE: Mis-advice (4/26/2006 11:43:54 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali

There are a lot of *control* freaks out there?


And they give all us other freaks a real bad name.



MsMacComb -> RE: Mis-advice (4/27/2006 1:17:05 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BoredandUnamused
Where do people get off, telling a sub how they Must behave without knowing anything about them, anything about their personality, or even where they are as a person let alone a sub.

Come on now, seriously, does anyone walk into a job as a boss and simply start changing all their emploees job positions the first day?
 

I could say ego, overinflated sense of self, major attitude problem and in some cases just a desire to be cruel due to their having no life and no power in their everyday life but that would be just like a previous thread of mine in which some people had to be sedated as the truth always hurts, lol. [:)]



Vancouver_cinful -> RE: Mis-advice (4/27/2006 7:46:05 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BoredandUnamused

Sir?  Sir?  Hey I work for a living darn it!!!

Ok I don't get it, I tried it and all I got was my face slapped??[&:]


So I'll call ya Boss, instead? Just a heads up...my math is lousy so don't stick me in Accounting!

By the way, there's people on here who would pay to get their face slapped, so why are you complaining? [:)]

Cin



BoredandUnamused -> RE: Mis-advice (4/27/2006 10:23:55 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Vancouver_cinful

quote:

ORIGINAL: BoredandUnamused

Sir?  Sir?  Hey I work for a living darn it!!!

Ok I don't get it, I tried it and all I got was my face slapped??[&:]


So I'll call ya Boss, instead? Just a heads up...my math is lousy so don't stick me in Accounting!

By the way, there's people on here who would pay to get their face slapped, so why are you complaining? [:)]

Cin


Don't worry I have a good idea where to stick you [8D]



Reasonable -> RE: Mis-advice (4/27/2006 10:28:41 PM)

Can anyone tell me why subs/switches come on here telling Dominants how they should behave without knowing anything about them, anything about their personality, or even where they are as a person let alone a Dom?

You'd almost think this was one sided-do you actually READ here?



Kedikat -> RE: Mis-advice (4/28/2006 3:23:34 AM)

Aside from the unreal idiots and their rantings to subs.
In some ways, a maybe Dom, stating those things at first contact, may actually be showing you themselves right out front. Walk away if you don't like it. At least they aren't wasting your time sneaking up to you with BS they themselves don't believe. Be thankful you can dismiss them quickly.
Beware the ones that have learned the wile. They are the ones that will really waste your time and worse. It takes all kinds to match up with all kinds. Your eeeeeww may be anothers oooooooh.
And it goes both ways. The slave with no limits, that slowly reveals nothing but limits for the " Dominant " to follow to their submitting.
And a great number of people who are genuinley Dom or sub, may not have any idea how it is expressed when venturing online here. The directness of this online realm is a very new thing to ones who may have had realtime relationships, but never been in so straightforward a BDSM tentative search. It's very different.



puella -> RE: Mis-advice (4/28/2006 3:43:38 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: twicehappy


Most of us read what is written and give our thoughts and opinions based on that. If we were not given enough or the correct information that is the fault of the one who asked the question in the 1st place. There are many on these boards who have been at this a long time so are capable of giving excellent advice. And it is always good to get a fresh perspective from someone new as well.

After all any of us can do is speak our thoughts, it is up to the individual whether or not they heed such.




Again, I find myself agreeing with twicehappy, and will only ad this... Why are you getting upset with the people responding to another's direct request for outside information?  I would think that if you had issue with a submissive, or whomever, getting information from strangers in a format that does not allow, necessarily, for a more complete spectral analysis of the problem discussed, that it would be the person who brought the question to the forum you would be more upset with ( you did word it as "where do people get off telling a sub...); I would think a better question to ask would be... "Why on earth do subs bring personal questions to a public forum, where there is no possible way to garner all the necessary information to provide totally unbiased and 100 % accurate advice?"

I have read many posts on this forum which I do not agree with, some in response to questions I have posed.  As a capable adult, I can both sift through the 'advice' and know that which really is not accurate to me (and a lot of that may well be due to the fact that I did not give enough information in my question), or simply just take it all in and broaden the spectrum with which I can apply ideas in my own life, from learning from concepts and ideas which I would normally not come to on my own.

This is a discussion forum.  If no one brought up questions or ideas, and if no one shared their own ideas in response.. there would be no forum, but for the... "I'm so happy, I was just collard."  "Congratulations", threads. If you ask a question, the point IS to get feedback.  How you use it... is all up to you.



VandalHeart -> RE: Mis-advice (4/28/2006 4:49:33 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

I think I can say this accross the board, but if any one believes differrntly please chime in: No one in the real world leather lifestyle would demand you use the word Master on a first meeting. The key words here are "demand", and "Master",
 
That is not to say that there are not those that prefer to be called Sir, but Master is reserved for folks that have slaves/subs and is used exclusivly by them, or have achieved a level of skill or recognition over a period of time.
 
 


I want to preface this by saying that I am a self reknowned asshole, and on occasion, an externally reknowned asshole, so no insult will be garnered from answers to this question (no matter how hard you may try).  Please answer with honesty.

I have only ever insisted that I be referred (sp?) to by title once.  I was at a play/birthday party for a friend of a friend.  There was booze, so I was there.  One girl started to talk to me and the more I conversed with her, the more I realized that she was a sub.  I don't really remember how sub, I was well on my way to hammeredsville by this point.  But as an indicator, my memory reminds me that only after I insisted on being referred (again, sp?) to as Lord (miLord, so on and so forth) did she really take interest in me.  I had only just met this person less than half an hour prior, and most of that time was spent making sure my friend had not gone and left without me, so one could say I pretty much "demanded" this right off of the bat.  My rationale for using the term Lord instead of Master is two-fold.  1) Lord simply implies a heightened state of dominion, not ownership and 2) Master seems too much like mister, and the implications of that in a sexually driven conversation really creep me out.

So, here's the question:  (and before you say anything, no I do not love to hear myself talk, I love to hear myself type)

Does this fall under the category of stepping out of bounds as a Dom?



LaMalinche -> RE: Mis-advice (4/28/2006 4:58:06 AM)

I always picture anyone that wants the title "Master" as a guy not yet 18 years old in short pants that is from England.

And Vandal. . . I already think of you that way, so anytime you want me to call you "Master," just let me know. . .


Best,

LaMalinche




VandalHeart -> RE: Mis-advice (4/28/2006 5:05:08 AM)

That is almost sweet enough to make me puke.

Now make me a sandwich. [8D]



bignipples2share -> RE: Mis-advice (4/28/2006 6:04:00 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kedikat

Aside from the unreal idiots and their rantings to subs.
In some ways, a maybe Dom, stating those things at first contact, may actually be showing you themselves right out front. Walk away if you don't like it. At least they aren't wasting your time sneaking up to you with BS they themselves don't believe. Be thankful you can dismiss them quickly.
Beware the ones that have learned the wile. They are the ones that will really waste your time and worse. It takes all kinds to match up with all kinds. Your eeeeeww may be anothers oooooooh.
And it goes both ways. The slave with no limits, that slowly reveals nothing but limits for the " Dominant " to follow to their submitting.
And a great number of people who are genuinley Dom or sub, may not have any idea how it is expressed when venturing online here. The directness of this online realm is a very new thing to ones who may have had realtime relationships, but never been in so straightforward a BDSM tentative search. It's very different.


I agree with you, it is very different. When you only have had actual relationships in the past and no other outside influence, well, except for one munch, there is a learning curve for searching online. 
I have never had a problem with moving on if I feel that a person and I are not a match and it's preferable to know that within an email or two, rather than dragging it out.



Dustyn -> RE: Mis-advice (4/28/2006 6:45:29 AM)

I've done it as a method of finding out what is habit and what is actually part of the psyche for that person.  Call it what you will but "testing the waters" is quite fitting in my mind.

But, then again, bad habits should usually be curbed, if not done away with completely, and if we both agree that a habit is detrimental and is still actively indulged, then I waste no time on that person until they are willing to work through it.

Some, though, want what they want from who they want, and if they can't get it, the try to remold that person into what they think is needed for their own amusement/enjoyment.  It's only wrong if they do it with someone that doesn't want to change and they still insist on trying to change the other person.

To each their own.

- Dustyn



Reasonable -> RE: Mis-advice (4/28/2006 7:14:49 AM)

Exactly-many people put on a mask of "nice' to cover who they really are-this is a time waster for all involved-the real person cannot hide behind it forever.

Best to lay the cards on the table face up-and give the chance for informed consent to happen.



LaMalinche -> RE: Mis-advice (4/28/2006 8:56:44 PM)

The whole "milord" thing is not being an asshole to my opinion, unless it was something that was insisted on after it had been made clear that the individual was clearly uncomfortable with it.

In any relationship there are going to be changes within the individuals and in the relationship dynamic itself as those involved grow, learn, and change with each other.  Sometimes these changes are good and sometimes detrimental.  Like most of life.  Go figure.

Why do some Doms and some subs behave this way?  Likely it is because they are not fully comfortable with themselves and the choices that they have made and are making and so outward signs are more important that internal processes.

Best,

LaMalinche






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