RE: Being the partner who stays at home = Hooker? (Full Version)

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[Poll]

Being the partner who stays at home = Hooker?


Yes, being a 'stay at home' partner is a form of Prostitution
  15% (3)
No, of course it isn't the same - and here's why...
  57% (11)
I dunno...
  5% (1)
Something else.
  21% (4)


Total Votes : 19
(last vote on : 10/24/2010 11:43:55 AM)
(Poll will run till: -- )


Message

Lockit -> RE: Being the partner who stays at home = Hooker? (10/23/2010 10:15:45 AM)

A word is not defined how we view it's meaning, but how the dictionary or common use defines it. Prostitution is often seen as an insult by many... hell if you want proof of that go read the journals that claim all pro dom's are prostitutes. I don't think they are meaning that as a compliment. lol

I've supported men and men have supported me. No one got a free ride and each were valued. We didn't view anything as a trade off or you do this and I do that and we mutually use one another. No score was kept and nothing that gave room for insult, degrading what was done or not done and a balancing of life as it was in that moment was what we did. To view it any other way would make me wonder if someone was having a personal issue.



tazzygirl -> RE: Being the partner who stays at home = Hooker? (10/23/2010 10:20:17 AM)

If someone wants to be sex worker, i have no problem with that. I wish it were legal in all the states so that those who do are better protected. But calling someone a hooker simply because they dont bring in an income is belittling.



AquaticSub -> RE: Being the partner who stays at home = Hooker? (10/23/2010 10:20:34 AM)

~Fast Reply~

I regard prostitution as selling sex. So, if the partner at home is only allowed to stay at home while providing sexual services on demand in return for the money given to support them and, should they cease providing the sex they must either get a job or leave...  then yeah, I can see how someone could see that as prostitution. Just bartering instead of cash.

However, that isn't how it usually works out in a relationship where one partner stays home. One partner stays home because they can't find a job in this economy, because they want someone who isn't working to clean the house/run errands/take care of the kids/just make a pleasant home for the one who is working. It's a lot easier to create a stress-free home when you aren't having to juggle maintaining the home and a nine-to-five.

So yeah... it could be a barter system of sex for money. But I'd say that 99 times out of a 100 it isn't and unless it's YOUR relationship, you really don't know what the fuck is going on.



PeanutTigerinBox -> RE: Being the partner who stays at home = Hooker? (10/23/2010 12:09:06 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: hertz

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tazzygirl

I see no prostitution. A hooker always wants her money.


I would argue 'the money' is not her/his goal. Her/his goal is the same as the stay at home partner - food and shelter. But her/his relationship with the person providing this means money must be used as an intermediary.


As a pro sub I can say that the money is the goal and nothing else. When it was briefly my mainjob 5 years ago it paid my bills,now it makes daily bills a tad bit easier. I continued as pro sub whilst I was actively dating my posh ex, as he didn't mind and I wanted to cover bills myself. Quite frankly I see it this way that with me getting paid, at least we both get a win out of the meeting, he gets his pleasure and I get my cash, unlike situations where 1 partner talks smoothly and then walks off once (s)he had his/her quick fuck leaving the other partner with the demonstration that (s)he really couldn't care less about the other person.



DesFIP -> RE: Being the partner who stays at home = Hooker? (10/23/2010 12:25:47 PM)

When I became a stay at home mom, my accountant strongly urged me to buy $200,000 in life insurance. It would have taken that much money to provide the services I did for my children. Start pricing: private chefs, nannies, housekeepers, gofers, tutors etc.

There are a lot of idiots out there who want something for nothing. This is just the same, some guy who can't find a domme who will do him the way he likes for free regardless of whether or not she gets anything out of it. Hell, he probably complains that if he buys a woman a burger at a bar she is obligated to have sex with him.



Lucylastic -> RE: Being the partner who stays at home = Hooker? (10/23/2010 1:38:02 PM)

try telling your mother or someone elses mother that because they stayed home to raise kids, they are hookers..As a mother and wife of 25 years, I would be liable to punch someone in the face.
Not because I find prostitutes offensive at all,  most of the ones I have met would NOT put up with their customers every day, day in and day out,
also I find  stoopid intentional ignorance pisses me off.
Just my two cents.



hertz -> RE: Being the partner who stays at home = Hooker? (10/23/2010 1:44:19 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

In your argument then, anyone with a job is a hooker.


I think I may have said 'We are all Prostitutes' in my opening post. In the sense that we all give up a bit of ourselves to another in return for something they have which we do not, then yes, that is what I am saying.



hertz -> RE: Being the partner who stays at home = Hooker? (10/23/2010 2:00:38 PM)

quote:

A word is not defined how we view it's meaning, but how the dictionary or common use defines it.


Dictionaries list definitions pre-agreed by social usage. For example, the word 'Gay' has a different meaning now to the meaning it had in 1700 not because someone at the dictionary makers decided to give it an extra meaning, but because society co-opted the word for a new use. 'Common usage' is more helpful, but generally, a word needs both. If you check out the use of the word 'Prostitution' you'll find that it has two main definitions. One is the sale of sex. The other is the sale of a talent or ability in return for reward. Most of the definitions I have seen suggest a sale of talent for an 'unworthy purpose'.

quote:

I've supported men and men have supported me. No one got a free ride and each were valued.


These appear to be mutually exclusive statements. How can you support someone and simultaneously suggest they are not getting a free ride? Unless they were simultaneously supporting you, by performing services (not simply sexual services) in return for your support of them.



hertz -> RE: Being the partner who stays at home = Hooker? (10/23/2010 2:02:08 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucylastic

try telling your mother or someone elses mother that because they stayed home to raise kids, they are hookers..As a mother and wife of 25 years, I would be liable to punch someone in the face.
Not because I find prostitutes offensive at all,  most of the ones I have met would NOT put up with their customers every day, day in and day out,
also I find  stoopid intentional ignorance pisses me off.
Just my two cents.



Unless I missed it, you didn't actually say why you would react with violence.



Lucylastic -> RE: Being the partner who stays at home = Hooker? (10/23/2010 2:08:47 PM)

interesting that you would only pick up on that.

the reason is that ignorant stupidity sometimes needs a bitch slap to see other points of views.



hertz -> RE: Being the partner who stays at home = Hooker? (10/23/2010 2:30:20 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucylastic

interesting that you would only pick up on that.

the reason is that ignorant stupidity sometimes needs a bitch slap to see other points of views.



You still haven't answered the question you were asked. I understand that you think 'ignorant stupidity' can only be countered with violence. Obviously I disagree, but if you are unable to express yourself in any other way, then I guess violence is all you have left.

Actually, what I was interested in was why you would suggest that you would also punch someone who compared you to a hooker when apparently you have nothing against hookers. What it sounds like to me is that actually, you do find the idea of prostitution quite distasteful and that is why you would respond in such a forceful and physical way. Unless that's your usual way of relating to others. Is that your usual way, Lucy?





hertz -> RE: Being the partner who stays at home = Hooker? (10/23/2010 2:39:44 PM)

Interesting commentary here.

quote:

Why is prostitution more common in poor countries? One obvious explanation is that prostitution falls as women’s income and opportunity costs rise. What’s less obvious is that prostitution falls as men’s income rises, too. Why does that happen? Because to some extent—here come the nasty emails—wives and prostitutes are substitutes, with prostitutes being what economists call an inferior good. As income rises men prefer stable marriages over occasional hookers. And this has policy implications: the best way to reduce prostitution may be making both women and men richer, rather than legal penalties and informational campaigns.


I also found an interesting paper by Lena Edlund and Evelyn Korn - 'A theory of Prostitution' which suggests that the main difference between a prostitute and a housewife is that one sells reproductive sex, whilst the other sells recreational sex. The higher financial value given to relations with a prostitute over a housewife is explained in terms of compensation - the prostitute needs suitable compensation for the loss of the opportunity to reproduce.  I'm not sure about this at all, but there it is.





Lucylastic -> RE: Being the partner who stays at home = Hooker? (10/23/2010 2:55:47 PM)

You assume an awful lot. which is a shame
I am in the "sex trade " I have been for ten years, I have been a dominant for 15 years, Im used to being called lots of things, I have never hurt anyone in that time that didnt ask for it, literally in a scene. I havent hit anyone in violence or anger in almost 30 years.
The only reason I havent Pro dommed as a business is because I have a family with  not enough time and the start up is horrendous.
I recieved much of my knowledge from prodommes, thru mentioring and practise, and I love them all with the excption of one and she just plain freakin scares me, but thats cos she is a little out there even for me.
Ignorance and denigration of  womens "choices" make me angry even today... you used the term as an insult, then dont be surprised at the multitude of insults you will get back.
If that response isnt to your liking, think on it....your lack of tact has a lot to do with my response, ask tactfully,without hostility  you will get a polite response, otherwise, suffer the consequences, mental, physical or ignored.
You wanna ask it ask it the right way, otherwise your mistakes will be pointed out quite succinctly.
Just to be clear, Im very easy going but I have pissy spots and will react ..but not without knowing the consequences







KatyLied -> RE: Being the partner who stays at home = Hooker? (10/23/2010 3:05:25 PM)

quote:

Ignorance and denigration of womens "choices" make me angry even today... you used the term as an insult, then dont be surprised at the multitude of insults you will get back.


::applauds::



hertz -> RE: Being the partner who stays at home = Hooker? (10/23/2010 3:19:04 PM)

I'd be fine with that if I actually used the term in an insulting way. Obviously you  believe I did, and I am sorry about that. The only reason I assumed you to use violence is because you suggested it yourself. I am bound to make assumptions about someone who talks about punching people she disagrees with, or bitch-slapping (spot the denigration) people she believes to be her intellectual inferior.

I'm seriously regretting taking the clever-clever approach of mirroring the title of a previous poll (about pro-dommes and hookers) in an effort to open this discussion. As much as anyone else I like a lively discussion, but as far as I am concerned, Lucy, you bounced in here with the aggression. Look at your very first contribution and compare it with my own and see if you can spot the difference.

If you don't like what I say, fine, that's up to you. But I thought the whole point of posting here was the discussion - it's difficult to discuss anything when someone insists on turning it into a fight.



Lucylastic -> RE: Being the partner who stays at home = Hooker? (10/23/2010 3:34:04 PM)

some things make me agressive  and denigrating women and their choices  is one of those things and yes it did rub me up the wrong way. As a SAHM we gave up many things to provide our 3 kids with love, security and a happy environment. I have worked at many jobs thru the years, and many many volunteer positions, so to negate the work and sacrifice love and devotion to my family yes came off as wrong
On your posting history I feel no aggression towards you at all,  it was more of a short and sharp way of showing that it was not a term that went down well.
If I wasnt willing to discuss it, I would not have made three posts on it,
enjoy your evening, and I do mean that








hertz -> RE: Being the partner who stays at home = Hooker? (10/23/2010 3:45:10 PM)

Lucy,
I feel I really ought  to apologise for any upset I may have caused you. It seriously wasn't my intention and whether you believe it or not, actually my position as regards the sex trade is not a hostile one - in fact I have met and worked with four street working girls in the last five years as part of my job, and I have a huge respect for what they go through in order to survive.
What you choose to do to support yourself and your family is none of my business and certainly I don't have the right to judge, nor would I. My motivation was really to question the way society tends to denigrate sex workers by suggesting a way in which that profession is really not so different from any other way in which people might spend their time. I was clumsy and awkward in the way I approached it, and I am sorry.



DamnPickyDomme -> RE: Being the partner who stays at home = Hooker? (10/23/2010 3:49:29 PM)

we all sell ourselves in one form or another to make a living, don't we?



KatyLied -> RE: Being the partner who stays at home = Hooker? (10/23/2010 3:54:09 PM)

I do not consider the exchange of labor/skills for pay/benefits as prostitution, I consider it compensation.  Others may disagree.  



hertz -> RE: Being the partner who stays at home = Hooker? (10/23/2010 3:55:15 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DamnPickyDomme

we all sell ourselves in one form or another to make a living, don't we?


Exactly.



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