quote:

ORIGINAL: vield

I have tried most things consenting adults can do during my life journey. One thing that I found was that the labels we use to describe ourselves and others are not understood the same by me as by some other people. Thus whatever label you choose is your business and is correct for you because you chose it. If I see you behaving in a way that seems to not fit the label you are wearing, then I probably have not fully understood what that label means to you.

In my life there are people to whom I am a figure of power or authority, who consider themselves submissive to me. Of course unless we have actually negotiated a relationship, nothing happens between us.

In my life there are people who are figures of power or authority to me. Again, unless a relationship has been mutually negotiated, nothing happens between us.

One finds people filling superior roles and subordinate roles to us in our vanilla life all the time. Someone is boss, someone is under your direction. A military example makes this easy to see. The colonel outranks the major, who outranks the captain...sargent... corporal, etc. One can claim that they are all "switches" because they direct some and are directed by others.
I have found that in my kinky life, there will always be those whose energy or charisma interacts with mine as submissives to me. However there also are those whose charisma or personal energy feels very dominant to me. The other person may NOT be feeling this the same way I am, so confusion is possible. That is why talking things through and negotiating the limits and needs and goals are an important part of relationship building for me.
And it also is why I see switching as not only OK, but as a necessity in the BDSM scene.

quote:

ORIGINAL: daintydimples

I find this very well stated:

quote:

ORIGINAL: vield

I have tried most things consenting adults can do during my life journey. One thing that I found was that the labels we use to describe ourselves and others are not understood the same by me as by some other people. Thus whatever label you choose is your business and is correct for you because you chose it. If I see you behaving in a way that seems to not fit the label you are wearing, then I probably have not fully understood what that label means to you.

In my life there are people to whom I am a figure of power or authority, who consider themselves submissive to me. Of course unless we have actually negotiated a relationship, nothing happens between us.

In my life there are people who are figures of power or authority to me. Again, unless a relationship has been mutually negotiated, nothing happens between us.

One finds people filling superior roles and subordinate roles to us in our vanilla life all the time. Someone is boss, someone is under your direction. A military example makes this easy to see. The colonel outranks the major, who outranks the captain...sargent... corporal, etc. One can claim that they are all "switches" because they direct some and are directed by others.
I have found that in my kinky life, there will always be those whose energy or charisma interacts with mine as submissives to me. However there also are those whose charisma or personal energy feels very dominant to me. The other person may NOT be feeling this the same way I am, so confusion is possible. That is why talking things through and negotiating the limits and needs and goals are an important part of relationship building for me.
And it also is why I see switching as not only OK, but as a necessity in the BDSM scene.

Thank you, Vield