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Lost? - 10/26/2010 5:40:54 PM

kinkienesss

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Has anyone out there ever felt completely lost in regards to what they would bring to a relationship or how they would fit into one in the lifestyle.

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RE: Lost? - 10/26/2010 6:16:10 PM

DarkSteven

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You're nineteen years old. You should have testosterone-dripping men chasing after you. Including Doms.

I'm not sure why you'd feel like you'd have nothing to offer unless you have serious self-esteem issues.

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RE: Lost? - 10/26/2010 6:18:43 PM

littlewonder

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I would say you're young and you probably are still exploring and learning about life in general. Don't be in a hurry to fit into a relationship or to "fit in". Just enjoy whatever comes your way, learn about your likes and dislikes and what you want. It will come to you along the way. At your age I don't think many at all have a clue about where they fit in in life at all let alone what you call "the lifestyle".

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RE: Lost? - 10/26/2010 6:19:18 PM

BurntKitty

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I've always known I was a maso sub.

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RE: Lost? - 10/26/2010 6:56:54 PM

TreasureKY

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When you are ready and meet the right person, you won't feel lost. Before then, don't worry about it.

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RE: Lost? - 10/27/2010 3:58:52 AM

BlueTrance

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kinkienesss

Has anyone out there ever felt completely lost in regards to what they would bring to a relationship or how they would fit into one in the lifestyle.

Every step along the journey is one you can learn from, even ones in the wrong direction. Go out, embrace life - experience new things. Try something new every month, every week, hell even every day. Not necessarily BDSM/sexual activites either, if you've never learnt how to do something, paint something, then do it. If you've never spent a day taking photographs of local landmarks, go try it.

Every new experience is something to be cherished, and in my experience, you can find the oddest things, things you never knew you needed, just by throwing caution to the wind and doing something new.

With all of this, you learn more, not only about whatever it is you're doing, but about yourself. I'm sure at one point or another most people have felt lost, even if briefly. But only you can answer *what* to bring to a relationship and *how* you'd fit into the lifestyle.

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RE: Lost? - 10/27/2010 4:27:28 AM

DesFIP

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What he said. Go do all the things you've wanted to do but never have. Don't wait for a partner, do them by yourself. Join a hiking club, teach literacy through your local library. The more things you do, the more you'll know about yourself, the more competent you'll be, and the stronger you'll be. At that point you will know what you are bringing to a relationship. You will be bringing yourself, a person totally unique in all the world.

If however you find that you allow yourself to be mistreated by others, then I would suggest therapy to deal with root causes. If you can't find a low cost provider, look up ACOA and go to local meetings.

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