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Transitioning To Long Distance Domination (tasks & webcam) - 10/28/2010 1:02:19 PM

OhLookItsJamie

Posts: 3
Joined: 2/23/2010
Status: offline

Really what I am looking for is help & advice in how to dominate without actually physically being present. I set her tasks and she performs on webcam for me however I'm starting to run out of ideas and just make her repeat things I made her do the previous day, I find it hard to be creative when the only interaction I have with her is through my keyboard, and making her humiliate, punish or just do things for my amusement is limited when she is trying to do these things to herself...

For example I can still order her to flog herself but is it the same as me flogging her? Absolutely not so I'm looking for techniques and advice which is more suited to this kind of environment.

Here's the situation:

I have owned my slave now for around 8 months, it was a real time relationship which has since become partly long-distance as my job requires me to be away for anything from a few days upto a couple of weeks. I am trying to maintain her training and the D/s relationship long distance through phone, webcam, instant messenger and email.

Please no "why dont you take her with you?" responses, obviously if I could I would.

Appreciate any advice really particularly from those who are/have been in a long distance D/s relationship, just finding it hard to be physically dominating while I'm not physically present!

Thanks.

Post #: 1

RE: Transitioning To Long Distance Domination (tasks & ... - 10/28/2010 1:26:13 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Why limit it to fake cyber play? Why not expand your control into real life?

Does she stay up too late? Set her a bedtime.
Tend to skip meals and get headaches as a result? Demand she eats healthy meals and sends you a list or text when she eats and what it is.
Do things that benefit both of you. Have her take a class in bellydancing, or send her a dvd and have her practice while you watch.
Have her research things for you. I do this a lot for him, he doesn't have the patience to follow links and try new keywords until one of them hits pay dirt. But I enjoy it.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to OhLookItsJamie)

Post #: 2

RE: Transitioning To Long Distance Domination (tasks & ... - 10/28/2010 1:45:05 PM

OhLookItsJamie

Posts: 3
Joined: 2/23/2010
Status: offline

I like your style, I have set her tasks to do such as go to the gym three times a week, start pole dancing lessons (a class started up recently in our local area... living somewhere rural I had to take advantage of it!)

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 3

RE: Transitioning To Long Distance Domination (tasks & ... - 10/28/2010 2:54:41 PM

DaddyRsgirl

Posts: 29
Joined: 10/19/2010
Status: offline

I only see my Dom about once a month so he sets me tasks to do, such as researching something which I don't mind doing. I will be watching this thread tho for some new ideas :)

(in reply to OhLookItsJamie)

Post #: 4

RE: Transitioning To Long Distance Domination (tasks & ... - 10/28/2010 4:12:55 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

During the time that clip was deployed, this is the situation that we found ourselves in. Yes, you absolutely do have to be more creative because you have removed the real physical interaction. Just like you said. Her flogging herself is absolutely not the same thing as you doing it and there is a lot missing.

My thinking on the matter is very much along the lined that Des mentioned. I also had to adjust My methods because of the different environment. A war zone isn't exactly the best place for certain things, so I had to eliminate them all together. Instead of physical acts, we focused on the mental areas. Getting his mind focused on submission took a priority. We talked more about him yielding to Me and the way that I assess situations. On a few occasions, how I wanted him to think, feel, and behave under certain circumstances. Obviously, I couldn't control things like his living situation or his clothing. I could control what he fantasized about, how some of his time was spent, and what his responsibilities were.

The idea is, even though you're not able to be in the same physical space, for D/s to be incorporated in their life just the same. The belly dancing class is good. A ritual (even if it's an electronic one) reaffirms your connection. If you have someone who happens to enjoy writing, give tasks that involve it. Journals, stories about fantasies, or thoughts on submission all work in this area.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to DaddyRsgirl)

Post #: 5

RE: Transitioning To Long Distance Domination (tasks & ... - 10/28/2010 4:24:51 PM

xXsoumisXx

Posts: 339
Joined: 7/26/2009
From: USA
Status: offline

When we are long distance..(His job) He calls and wakes me up every morning. It is His voice i hear last each night.
I have a few daily things I must do, one of them is an email each evening. Also, rules are still the same regarding diet, exersice, clothing, orgasms..He still has a lot of daily control.
Sometimes i am to take a quick pic and send it, of myself, just to check in..;)

(in reply to OhLookItsJamie)

Post #: 6

RE: Transitioning To Long Distance Domination (tasks & ... - 10/29/2010 5:03:55 AM

phoenixmoonn13

Posts: 398
Joined: 6/11/2010
Status: offline

when we were LDR it was pretty much the same as now. i used to ask to go out and tell him when i was back by text we had a five minute rule if he hadnt texted back then i was to assume yes.. no orgasm or touching without his consent. he used to call each night or tell me to call each night before i went to sleep and i always asekd to go to bed and then go to sleep 5 min rule again incase he was unavailable. when online or on phone it was no underwear rule but i tened to keep to it while indoors anyway he didnt enforce it but was happy i did it. But mostly the protocols were the same and the rules were the same.

punishemt was always no contact for a set time. or go to bed early. the no contact was so so bad for me but i rarely needed punishing anyway it was usually only if i got too needy. he used to command certain sex acts while on the phone or on line which usually involved large dildos and butt plugs, clamps etc used at his command it was one strong way of feeling some pain and his control.

Trust and honesty is the most important thing in this type of relationship.

(in reply to xXsoumisXx)

Post #: 7

RE: Transitioning To Long Distance Domination (tasks & ... - 10/29/2010 3:51:21 PM

sweetsub1957

Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline

~FR~
Right now, Daddy & I are long-distance (that will change early next year) and He has various tasks for me. (1)He has a set bedtime for me....no staying up later at night, and He will know it if I try, cause my webcam is pointed at my bed at night just in case He checks in on me. Also, (2)I must eat decently and three meals a day, (3)His voice is the last thing I hear each night before I go to sleep. (4)Before I go to any "lifestyle" functions, I must ask and get permission. (5)He will have me write papers on various things for Him and e-mail them to Him by no later than a set time/date. There are miscellaneous rules, such as (6)don't cut or even trim my hair w/o His permission, things like that, and (7)write a Journal everyday and send it to Him.

~sweetsub~

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to phoenixmoonn13)

Post #: 8

RE: Transitioning To Long Distance Domination (tasks & ... - 10/30/2010 2:50:09 AM

SPIT00N

Posts: 6
Joined: 10/26/2010
Status: offline

I am not going to comment at all on this long distance cam thing other than to pose one question.

Given that so many of you only want that and not real life, what on earth would you have done and how would you have coped 25 or so years ago before the advent of the internet?

Indeed, given phone sex, how would you have coped etc a century or so ago before the phone was invented?

It seems to me that the kink is man made with the technological advances it feeds off.

(in reply to sweetsub1957)

Post #: 9

RE: Transitioning To Long Distance Domination (tasks & ... - 10/30/2010 3:12:55 AM

DaddyDomR

Posts: 12
Joined: 10/19/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddyRsgirl

I only see my Dom about once a month so he sets me tasks to do, such as researching something which I don't mind doing. I will be watching this thread tho for some new ideas :)

I do indeed. I have recently created an excel spreadsheet which enables us to keep track of what the sub is doing and I ask for daily e-mail updates. We usually manage to chat online most days but this last week has been difficult and it is proving a good test of what we have put in place.

DaddyRsgirl also has a punishment book which is used when we meet to enable any punishmnents to be carried out.

I will be watching this thread with interest too, as it is something I am looking to develop in our relationship.

< Message edited by DaddyDomR -- 10/30/2010 3:24:35 AM >

_____________________________

Daddy Dom to my Princess (DaddyRsgirl)

(in reply to DaddyRsgirl)

Post #: 10

RE: Transitioning To Long Distance Domination (tasks & ... - 10/30/2010 8:22:33 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SPIT00N

I am not going to comment at all on this long distance cam thing other than to pose one question.

Given that so many of you only want that and not real life, what on earth would you have done and how would you have coped 25 or so years ago before the advent of the internet?

Indeed, given phone sex, how would you have coped etc a century or so ago before the phone was invented?

It seems to me that the kink is man made with the technological advances it feeds off.

I would have stayed celibate as I had been the previous five years. No hardship to be alone rather than settling for someone with whom I would have been lonely with.

Additionally you start with a false assumption, that there were no long distance romances. There were. Mail order brides didn't take the stage coach out hoping they would find someone. They exchanged letters first to hopefully see that they were compatible.

Indeed one of the most famous courtships, that of Robert Browning and Elizabeth Barrett Browning was conducted almost entirely by letter despite the fact that they lived near each other.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to SPIT00N)

Post #: 11

RE: Transitioning To Long Distance Domination (tasks & ... - 10/30/2010 8:37:52 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SPIT00N

I am not going to comment at all on this long distance cam thing other than to pose one question.

Given that so many of you only want that and not real life, what on earth would you have done and how would you have coped 25 or so years ago before the advent of the internet?

Indeed, given phone sex, how would you have coped etc a century or so ago before the phone was invented?

It seems to me that the kink is man made with the technological advances it feeds off.

Speaking for Myself, as both a military wife and the Mistress of a military slave, there are probably very few that have a greater appreciation for the advances that technology has made. I've made many comments on these boards over the years regarding how much of a better position that I've been in due to these resources than say, the wife of a soldier during WW2. This isn't to say that we didn't get a taste of that during My husband's first deployment. We both still have our collection of 'love letters' that we sent back and forth. (Yes. The old fashioned kind, that I used to search for the perfect stationary to send him.)

In these times, deployments are going to be a part of our lives. It's part of the deal with military life. I don't consider Myself as less of a wife when My husband is across the globe. I don't consider Myself less of a Mistress when the boy in My collar is stationed elsewhere, either.

< Message edited by LadyPact -- 10/30/2010 8:38:51 AM >

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to SPIT00N)

Post #: 12

RE: Transitioning To Long Distance Domination (tasks & ... - 10/30/2010 10:14:45 AM

SaharahEve

Posts: 231
Joined: 6/25/2009
Status: offline

Email me; I can forward you a list if you'd like. :)

_____________________________

Saharah

S a h a r a h E v e . c o m

nanshakh.com

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 13

RE: Transitioning To Long Distance Domination (tasks & ... - 10/30/2010 2:30:06 PM

sweetsub1957

Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SPIT00N
Given that so many of you only want that and not real life

It's not a case of only wanting internet/long-distance, that's not it AT ALL. You know what they say about the word "assume...." At least in my case, it's a case of not having met YET. I plan on meeeting Daddy early next year and then, after that, moving to be with Him. As for what would have happened without internet, I would still be an unhappy, dissatisfied vanilla woman. The internet is how I found out about bdsm AND about the local bdsm community. Now I also go to local events, but Daddy is still my One.

~sweetsub~

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to SPIT00N)

Post #: 14

RE: Transitioning To Long Distance Domination (tasks & ... - 10/31/2010 1:34:32 PM

OhLookItsJamie

Posts: 3
Joined: 2/23/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SPIT00N

I am not going to comment at all on this long distance cam thing other than to pose one question.

Given that so many of you only want that and not real life, what on earth would you have done and how would you have coped 25 or so years ago before the advent of the internet?

Indeed, given phone sex, how would you have coped etc a century or so ago before the phone was invented?

It seems to me that the kink is man made with the technological advances it feeds off.

How is this relevant to my thread? Should I just pretend modern methods of communication don't exist and send messages by horseback to keep in contact while I'm gone? What a ridiculous point you are trying to make.

Don't bother replying to this because nothing you can or have said has anything to do with my thread, you're just trying to disrupt things by spouting nonsense.

Go create your own thread if you want to debate things.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SaharahEve

Email me; I can forward you a list if you'd like. :)

Thanks, I've messaged you on here.

(in reply to SPIT00N)

Post #: 15

RE: Transitioning To Long Distance Domination (tasks & ... - 11/6/2010 6:01:54 AM

petalnz

Posts: 1
Joined: 11/12/2008
Status: offline

I don't know about transitioning to long distance, but I do know about long distance. I've always been reluctant to talk about it, in fear I would get ridiculed by people, like the one above, saying we don't want it real. My relationship with my Master is real, very real. We've been together 7 years online. We want to be together physically, but it has not been possible. It will be possible soon. In todays throw away society, people seem to devalue true love, and tell you, oh just let it go and find somebody else closer. I can't do that and either can my Master. How could I throw away something so perfect, so wonderful. Nobody can compare to Him, nobody ever will. Back to your question, sorry got side tracked ..lol 7 years online, has given us the opertunitity to explore each others mind in a way we never could have in the physical world. We've shared all of our deepest fantasies, our thoughts and He has spent many hours conditioning my mind into desiring His desires, fantasies and fetishes. He sets tasks for me to do, He exercises me on cam, punishes, trains and controls me. We are best friends and lovers. Take this opertunity to explore her mind. Get deep inside her, open her up from the inside out, instead of the physical outside in. Women love to have their minds explored. Get her talking about her limits and how you can push them, role play it out in scenes, inside both your minds. Everything comes from your mind, even our physical world is percieved through the mind. Dispell thoughts that you're not physically present, because when your mind joins with hers there is no distance. Good luck :)

(in reply to OhLookItsJamie)

Post #: 16

RE: Transitioning To Long Distance Domination (tasks & ... - 11/7/2010 2:22:12 PM

Wheldrake

Posts: 477
Status: offline

As a (male) submissive I've been on the receiving end of a few cyber-torments, so I have some sense of the possibilities. You're definitely right about ordering her to flog herself not being the same. It's a bit like trying to tickle oneself - the brain is too good at preparing the body for what the hand is about to do. Besides which, it's hard to get a good angle with the flogger, and it's hard to overcome the natural instinct to soften the blows. The same problems apply to slapping, pinching, or anything else that has to be inflicted by a moving hand. I've been ordered to do things like this, and it's always felt unsatisfying and a bit silly.

However, there are other ways of inflicting pain, or at least real physical discomfort. Clothespins and other types of clamp are your friends, as are ice cubes. Forced exercise and "stress positions" can also work wonders. I think the worst thing I've ever had to do during a webcam session was squat down and remain squatting until I received permission to get back up. It wasn't long before my thigh muscles were burning and I was practically begging to be allowed to stand. Squatting might not have the same effect on your submissive, but you should be able to find a position that does.

On a more subtle level, you might enjoy just making her uncomfortable. Have her perch on a hard little stool during your sessions. Tell her to turn the thermostat down (or the air conditioning up, depending on what the weather is like where you live) and then get naked. Watch her choke down mouthfuls of some food that she finds particularly revolting (forced durian eating is one of the more interestingly unpleasant things I've had to endure, although I was in the same room with the lady supplying the durian).

Let's see... you could always have her gag herself or do a bit of simple, easily escapable self-bondage, like tying rope around her breasts. You could try to humiliate her by having her masturbate on camera, insert objects in various orifices, write degrading things on her naked body, imitate various animals, urinate in a bucket while you watch... the possibilities are endless. It might be fun to send her a toy in the mail with instructions to open it on camera, and you could then immediately have her put the toy to good use.

In my opinion, cyber-play is never really a substitute for interacting in person. But it can certainly be fun.

(in reply to OhLookItsJamie)

Post #: 17

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