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RE: How a sub should tell her Dom He is wrong? - 4/27/2006 10:16:38 AM   
Reasonable


Posts: 459
Joined: 4/20/2006
Status: offline 		That's how I see it as well John.
We all make mistakes from time to time-to correct one,someone has to care enough to try.

(in reply to JohnWarren)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: How a sub should tell her Dom He is wrong? - 4/28/2006 1:06:05 AM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		Very carefully :)

(in reply to Reasonable)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: How a sub should tell her Dom He is wrong? - 4/28/2006 5:30:32 PM   
Fawne


Posts: 462
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Reasonable

That's how I see it as well John.
We all make mistakes from time to time-to correct one,someone has to care enough to try.


Sad, but true.
The bitter and the burnt.

(in reply to Reasonable)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: How a sub should tell her Dom He is wrong? - 4/28/2006 6:32:59 PM   
unquenchable


Posts: 155
Joined: 4/17/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Wulfchyld

With a whip and a chair of course. It’s always helpful if there is another slave with you when you do it. Just make sure the other slave is slower than you.
 
Smiling
Loki


Laughs hard.  I am so glad I had already swallowed my coffee.

un-------

(in reply to Wulfchyld)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: How a sub should tell her Dom He is wrong? - 4/29/2006 12:23:34 PM   
lilriv


Posts: 12
Joined: 4/10/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren

One time a few years ago, Libby and I were on a nationwide interview show and I made the mistake of leaving the word "not" out of a sentence.  She immediately spoke up and let me know about my slip so I could correct it in the next breath. 

We saw it as her duty to "cover my back."

It's amazing how many people were horrified that I "took it" and then also thanked her.

She's my most valued possession largely because of her lively intellect.


That's beautiful. :)

(in reply to JohnWarren)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: How a sub should tell her Dom He is wrong? - 4/30/2006 4:33:39 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		If this comes up again just be respectful, be clear, and be ready to accept it if , like knight of mists' says, sometimes he may just have to learn this lesson for himself.

_____________________________


Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."




(in reply to LL1aintbehavin)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: How a sub should tell her Dom He is wrong? - 4/30/2006 8:49:07 PM   
dincubus


Posts: 231
Joined: 10/22/2005
From: South Dakota
Status: offline 		Please note: the posting below is simply my own opinion and using my own definitions. While some might find the way i word things as offensive, it is not intended to be such.
While i do agree with Lordandmaster, i do have a couple of points to offer here.
the first is that if a submissive does indeed believe that something is truly wrong with something his/her Dominant is doing or considering, the submissive should respectfully bring this to his/her Dominant's attention.
secondly, there should not be fear of approaching one's Dominant ever (in my opinion) that would be something, in my opinion, approaching a controlling (in a bad way) and abusive relationship.
Thirdly, i personally believe that a Dominant should always be open to honest and truthful criticism, while not in the middle of a scene, but in general i mean.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

"Sir, may I speak?  This is important."

"Yes."

"Sir, you are wrong about such-and-such.  These are the reasons..."

It's your DUTY to tell your dom when he's wrong.

quote:

ORIGINAL: kittycurious

How would an obedient submissive go about telling her Dom that He is factually wrong about a rather important subject?


(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: How a sub should tell her Dom He is wrong? - 5/7/2006 8:15:52 AM   
Slavebinder


Posts: 11
Joined: 3/13/2005
Status: offline 		Depends on your situation and the Dom.  I would say that all Doms should have respect for what a submissive says.  And if, we need to listen to a submissive's limits, stop, slow and go words during play then at least the benefit of the doubt and simple investigation should be awarded in other areas of the relationship.

It's basic courtsey.  In the business world that would be the mark of a good manager.

(in reply to kittycurious)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: How a sub should tell her Dom He is wrong? - 5/7/2006 1:24:00 PM   
LadyHugs


Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Dear kittycurious, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
As you know, nobody ever wishes to be wrong--as it would be "too human."
 
In any cases, the priority of information is considered.  If it is life threatening by all means do what ever it takes to point out the danger, risks and such--where I'm wrong.  The last thing I want to be is--Dead wrong.
 
As far as facts are, if written on a paper, backed up by several other inquires that is a lot of proof of the facts in my book.
 
But, in every scenerio that I can think of, once someone is in authority has been given facts submitted in a clear manner, the choice falls on that authority and the responsibility of the error falls on the one making the choice.
 
Respectfully submitted,
Lady Hugs
 
 

(in reply to kittycurious)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: How a sub should tell her Dom He is wrong? - 5/7/2006 2:02:32 PM   
Phoenixandnika


Posts: 748
Joined: 4/22/2005
From: Aberdeen Maryland
Status: offline
 
 
It is large-hearted and courageous people who are not diminished by saying, 'I made a mistake.' author unknown
 
To me the relationship between a dominate and submissive should be like night and day. They should compliment each other. Neither is perfect in any real sense of the word. You cannot grow solely with one of the other, but together they find a balance.

Dominates are not perfect. They have flaws. They make mistakes. In my eyes if they have a submissive, they should work towards being that balancing factor. I am expected to catch something Phoenix misses and hope that any in my collar would do the same. I would hope they that would not be afraid to speak to me or simply act to make my error known.

Now as far as steps to making an error known.
There are times where you cannot simply privately say " may I speak freely about something" then express your concerns. Sometimes you have to act in the moment.

Once you have said your peace you cannot control what anyone does with the information given. They will either choose to act on the new knowledge or not.

If they choose not to act, in my opinion it can have a lasting affect on how you as a submissive / slave approach the situation in the future. That being said I think you have a responsibility your dominant, yourself, and that balance to make your feelings known and why they exist.

I also think it can affect the balance between a dominate and submissive.

Hope that made sense.

Blessed Be,
Phoenix's Nika
 
 
 

< Message edited by Phoenixandnika -- 5/7/2006 2:14:02 PM >

_____________________________

"Life is neither a bed of roses nor a carpet of thorns, it's just what you make of it."



(in reply to kittycurious)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: How a sub should tell her Dom He is wrong? - 5/7/2006 2:11:45 PM   
MasterRenegade77


Posts: 1852
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Upstate N.Y. (Broome Co.)
Status: offline
A Dom could be Wr, Wr, Wr, Wr, Wr, Wr, Perish the thought LMFKAO...
Seriously though First do it Privately, second do it Respectfully, Third, do it Quietly Fourth, have your Facts, Figures &/or Documentation there if you need to... Fifth never wait to long to bring it to thier attn. for if you lrt it fester you might not speak as clearly & concisely as you'd like...
If they still won't listen or claim you're the one Wr, Wr, Wr, Wr, Wr, Wr, Wr, they may have issues that need to be dealt with...

(in reply to kittycurious)
Profile   Post #: 31
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