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Femdom sexual relationship dynamics - 11/3/2010 10:44:35 AM   
LadyNTrainer


Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
Status: offline 		Topic split from "Beginner games" to avoid a derail.

quote:

ORIGINAL: strangedesire
The dominant narrative of of heterosexual sex in our culture is that of the aggressive male taking what he wants from the female, and her pleasure being secondary, a result of his. I suspect that this is unsatisfying for both parties far more often than Hollywood tells us, but I'm just a puffy queer chick, what do I know.


Naah, you're a hot queer chick.     While I do firmly believe that most of the dominant cultural memes in this society regarding love and sex are pretty broken, getting off on your partner's sexual excitement and pleasure seems a reasonably common way to be wired, and it's not necessarily tied to dominance or submission, or to gender.  Two of the three in my poly family are wired that way (myself and my secondary), with my primary being more easily distracted by his own sensory experience than single-minded in pursuit of his partner's pleasure.  It almost gets silly at times with me and my secondary, because we're both wired to be totally fascinated by the other person getting off and what the other person feels, and not all that focused on our own sensation or on getting off ourselves.  We've both adjusted, but seeing my own preferences mirrored in his from the other side of the kneel has given me some interesting insight.  He sees his focus on my excitement as service and submission; I see my focus on his sensation as playing my property like a fine instrument, and as a hearty, healthy appreciation of male sexuality. 

I like to make my submissives feel things intensely.  That's what makes things fun for me.  I've actually had to alter this dynamic to some extent with my beta because if I spend too long making him feel sexual pleasure, he loses focus, actually loses physical sensation, and has a strong preference for pleasing me instead.  Obviously he'll lie there and let me do what I want, but I don't really get the intense responses that way, so I've switched tactics with him.  I get my fun from making him feel fear and pain while he pleasures me, and he gets his fun from pleasuring me and his happy roller coaster ride of masochism, and it works for both of us.  In some ways this is fairly alien to me as a focus on my own sexual pleasure is not really my thing.  I prefer riding in a submissive's head and making them feel things.  Getting off is nice, but for me it's not quite as much fun as what I can make him feel.  So a lot of my focus is still on "making him feel", except that what I'm making him feel is not directly sexual while he is sexually servicing me.

I'm very definitely the dominant, but an outside observer might well see the meme you describe in my relationship with my primary.  It's not aggression I appreciate so much as passion, but I do know what I like.  I (heart) hard cock.  Whenever he's horny, he's supposed to give it to me.  Within reason; as interesting as those rocking chairs outside Cracker Barrel might be, he knows to wait till we get home.   

When he brings it, I decide whether I'm horny too and want to get off, or whether I just want to enjoy him getting off.  Even if I'm not horny, sex with a hot subby studmuffin is still really fun.  For one, the visuals are nice.  I can't imagine saying no, I don't want any, unless I was really feeling ill.  I have to be in pretty bad shape not to at least be amused and cheered by a quickie where my partner gets off, so being garden-variety sick generally doesn't stop me.  Being throwing-up sick or in a ridiculous amount of pain is about all that does prevent this from being fun for me.

Getting to enjoy him getting off is like a piece of calorie-free chocolate; it's a tasty little treat that has absolutely no downside and makes my day brighter. It doesn't matter if I'm horny or not; the fun quotient for me is not tied to having an orgasm.  So at pretty much random times he'll bring me a hardon and I'll grin gleefully and tell him what choices he has for where to put it, depending on my mood.  Sometimes he doesn't have any choices because I have a bright idea, at other times I'm not feeling horny or creative, so he can put it where he wants.  It's all good if I'm getting some.  I think I've declined maybe once or twice in the past several years.  Srsly, who says no to calorie free chocolate?  Not me.  

This is weird to him from his submissive perspective, and I know there are times he disobeys and doesn't bring me his hardon because he thinks it will inconvenience me or he doesn't want to bother me or he doesn't feel confident enough to be what he sees as sexually aggressive towards his owner.  So I'm still working on that.   He's definitely gotten better.  I should note that he can perform multiple times, even if he's just gotten off, so I generally don't have the motive of "saving him for later".  Though I have done that a time or two when I wanted him particularly desperate, or wanted to prolong the teasing and desire for awhile.  But I can have it now, and I can also have it later.  So I basically have no motivation for not having a nice hot helping now strictly for fun and amusement, even if I think I might want him again later when I'm actually horny and want to get off myself.  There's a reason I have been known to refer to him as Captain Studly Hungwell Von Sexypants.  Yes, I do sexually objectify him.  Sadly, he appreciates this much less than my beta sub, but he grins and bears it, cause he's a good little fucktoy.

So, definitely not stereotypical femdom dynamics, but healthy and functional ones, and they work very well for all of us.  This is what I want in a relationship (a hot studmuffin who performs frequently for me), and this is exactly what I'm getting.  From a pure "observe the physical activity happening" standpoint, my relationship with my submissive primary looks a hell of a lot like a stereotypical maledom/femsub relationship.  Except that we're physically female (me) and male (him), and we're both genderqueer, and emotionally about as far from a model of heterosexual male-dominant normality as anyone can probably get in a relationship.  We may switch our genders around quite casually depending on how we're feeling, as both of us tend to think of gender as a game we play rather than being tied to any gender identity, but we don't switch D/s roles.  My secondary is wired the same as me, and our dynamics end up looking a lot more like stereotypical femdom.  That's fun for me too, but in a completely different way.

Your mileage may vary of course; the internal dynamics of my polycule are not universally applicable to anyone outside it.   The only criteria for whether you're doing it right or wrong is whether everyone is having their idea of a good time.  Anyone else want to share about the sexual dynamics of their femdom relationship?


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RE: Femdom sexual relationship dynamics - 11/3/2010 11:26:46 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I almost feel badly about this, LNT.  You've obviously spent a lot of time on this particular piece, and the part that I'm focusing on here is so small that it makes Me almost apologetic.

quote:

He sees his focus on my excitement as service and submission; I see my focus on his sensation as playing my property like a fine instrument, and as a hearty, healthy appreciation of male sexuality.


The highlighted above is something that I have talked about on many topics for years.  Combined with control, the female Dominant's excitement regarding specific acts can be used very beneficially to get him to do what you want.  It's that element that can play big in your corner.  If you want your straight submissive to do things like suck cock or becoming willing to engage in strap on play, this is the ticket.  Even with all that society has taught him (often incorrectly) about these types of acts, put your sexual excitement into the mix, and some of those attitudes can be changed.  Yes, it's a process that takes some time and, no, I'm not suggesting that anyone break a hard limit in this (or any) area, but this is how to encourage a potential change in the limit itself.

I'm not talking here about the males who come to you desiring these particular acts.  (They have their place, too, and are a lot of fun.)  I'm talking about the ones that you really have to work with to bring the barriers down to get to the place where you want them in submission.  The female Dominant's sexual excitement is a great motivator in this area.  To watch the attitude change as he goes through the steps directly in response because it's turning you on at each level of progress.

I don't want to turn LNT's work here into a pulpit for one of My personal kinks.  It is just a subject that I feel very strongly about.


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RE: Femdom sexual relationship dynamics - 11/3/2010 11:52:19 AM   
LadyNTrainer


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
 If you want your straight submissive to do things like suck cock or becoming willing to engage in strap on play, this is the ticket.  Even with all that society has taught him (often incorrectly) about these types of acts, put your sexual excitement into the mix, and some of those attitudes can be changed.  Yes, it's a process that takes some time and, no, I'm not suggesting that anyone break a hard limit in this (or any) area, but this is how to encourage a potential change in the limit itself.


I own them; they are not allowed to have hard limits.  This assertion would doubtless be tested if I got out the chainsaw and told them that I thought amputation was a hot fetish, but part of our dynamic is the no-limits ideal.  I am actually pretty confident that my primary wouldn't even balk at the chainsaw; he's that dedicated to the ideal, and has basically no self-preservation instincts.  My secondary might not either as he'd assume it was a really good mindfuck.  I may well see if I can find a foam rubber blade for my chainsaw one of these days, but I digress.

My straight boy would suck cock for me if I forced him to.  But I get zero jollies from forcing a genuinely straight boy to suck cock; it's not fun for me.  For a male-male interaction to be fun for me, the boys have to be bi or gay; they have to actually like dick.  I only like "forced bi" when it's not actually forced.

I seriously doubt that any amount of conditioning can turn a straight man bi.  Behaviorally he may do it to be obedient; internally he's just not likely to start craving bio-cock when his sole attraction is to pussy or to strap-on cock.  The lines might be blurred some with an MtF transgender for him, but basically his attraction is to the female, and my primary is genderqueer but he is nowhere near passable or even vaguely feminine looking.  With the amount of work it would take to get my beta sub even close to enjoying himself in a scene like this, it's not worth it to me.  I have a pansexual primary and a whole world of willing subbies to invite in for safe play, so why bother doing this particular scene with a straight boy?  Bor-ring.  I also don't do fireplay with my primary because he is too fuzzy and I like his fuzzy.  I could choose to shave off all his body hair and then do fireplay with him, but that would be way more trouble and less fun for me than saving that form of play for a smooth bodied subbie.

Also, I very much appreciate the natural relationship my two have.  It works very well.  I'm not really interested in messing with it.  I like my smoothly functioning, happy, no-drama poly household too much to risk meddling with sexual dynamics between the boys.  There's being the dominant, and there's being a dumbass, and IMO poly emotional dynamics are best handled delicately and organically rather than with brute force if you are not a fan of your relationships imploding into drama.  Which I'm not.  So the boys will stay friends and nothing more, and that's okay with me.  I might wish it were otherwise, but being the dominant doesn't always mean I can change reality itself to suit my desires.   I *can* make them do anything I want, just like I *can* shave off all my fuzzy boy's sexy body hair, but the consequences ultimately wouldn't please me even if the short term results were fun.

< Message edited by LadyNTrainer -- 11/3/2010 11:55:15 AM >

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RE: Femdom sexual relationship dynamics - 11/3/2010 12:28:23 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		As you may know, LNT, I have different tastes on the subject.  Where you have one particular preference over the other, I enjoy both equally.  Very much like saying you prefer chocolate, where I enjoy both chocolate and strawberry for flavors.

Where we agree beyond doubt is that an act doesn't change an orientation regarding sexuality.  I'm sure if we even brought that subject into the thread, the original would definitely be taken off course.

We may be different in another area.  Yes, beyond doubt you own them today.  That wasn't always the case, was it?  While some submissives do hand over control almost immediately, My experiences with assuming control over another has been more of a building process, where authority was established and became more complete over time.  I actually have a preference for this.  I couldn't say why.  Maybe it's that the other way doesn't appeal to Me because, in a sense, it's too easy, hasn't been earned, or I just like watching the growth. 

Oddly enough, today is the third anniversary of My collaring of clip.  Looking back over that period of time and the time before he was actually collared to Me, I'm really proud of the progress that he's made in deepening his submission and giving control over to Me in various areas.  Things he's become willing to do because he knew it was what I wanted him to do.  I get such a huge kick out of the fact that needles used to be a hard limit for him and he's come such a long way in actually enjoying them, getting excited about that kind of play, and so on.  No, he doesn't quite hit space from needles to the extent that I do, but when I think of where he started and how far along he's come, I see it as a very big accomplishment for him.


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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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RE: Femdom sexual relationship dynamics - 11/3/2010 12:41:55 PM   
LadyNTrainer


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

As you may know, LNT, I have different tastes on the subject.  Where you have one particular preference over the other, I enjoy both equally.  Very much like saying you prefer chocolate, where I enjoy both chocolate and strawberry for flavors.


Exactly; there is no right or wrong when it comes to being kinky, just different tastes.  As long as what it is that you do makes everyone happy and doesn't end up with someone in the morgue or the hospital, you're doing it right. 


quote:

Yes, beyond doubt you own them today.  That wasn't always the case, was it?  While some submissives do hand over control almost immediately, My experiences with assuming control over another has been more of a building process, where authority was established and became more complete over time.  I actually have a preference for this.  I couldn't say why.  Maybe it's that the other way doesn't appeal to Me because, in a sense, it's too easy, hasn't been earned, or I just like watching the growth. 


Now that I'm thinking about it and consciously examining it, the liking male on male sexuality thing isn't about control for me at all, and I'm not really interested in playing with it in that context.  I have trained both of my boys over time to like and to sexualize pain, and to trust me utterly and surrender control to me.  Those things were, for the most part, gradual processes.  For whatever reason I find no desire within me to do the same with male-male play, even though I enjoy it.  Apparently I enjoy it in an entirely different context.  If I have to "force" it, I don't want it any more.  Teh gay (or bi) has to be real, or don't bother, it's not hot for me. 


quote:

Oddly enough, today is the third anniversary of My collaring of clip.  Looking back over that period of time and the time before he was actually collared to Me, I'm really proud of the progress that he's made in deepening his submission and giving control over to Me in various areas.  Things he's become willing to do because he knew it was what I wanted him to do.  I get such a huge kick out of the fact that needles used to be a hard limit for him and he's come such a long way in actually enjoying them, getting excited about that kind of play, and so on.  No, he doesn't quite hit space from needles to the extent that I do, but when I think of where he started and how far along he's come, I see it as a very big accomplishment for him.


My relationship with my secondary progressed much the same way.  He's still a type 1 diabetic, so I still avoid breaking skin on him very often for medical reasons, and I don't do deep bruising on him at all.  But he's handed those limits over to me; they aren't up to him any more.  And that did take time and trust.  My primary was a different case; with him it was definitely a leap before you look situation, and he handed it all over in a great rush.  Which had merits of its own, IMO, because he didn't do it out of sub frenzy so much as for falling deeply in love.  Worked for us.


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RE: Femdom sexual relationship dynamics - 11/3/2010 2:46:09 PM   
DMFParadox


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quote:

quote:

ORIGINAL: strangedesire
The dominant narrative of of heterosexual sex in our culture is that of the aggressive male taking what he wants from the female, and her pleasure being secondary, a result of his. I suspect that this is unsatisfying for both parties far more often than Hollywood tells us, but I'm just a puffy queer chick, what do I know.


Two things. First, the Hollywood version is usually more like 'Knocked Up' than... damn, I'm having a hard time thinking of a truly sexually aggressive male movie character. Triple X, maybe.

Though you see a lot of that in romance novels. So perhaps it's not a culture-wide narrative... just one tailored to certain viewpoints. Most guys I know would not say they thought this way, but they would say that they've felt pressure to, and not necessarily by other guys...

Second, this:
quote:

a focus on my own sexual pleasure is not really my thing.  I prefer riding in a submissive's head and making them feel things.


I tend to feel the same way. Acting is often focused on the reaction. Whether the action is from a dominant or submissive context, you act, then tend to look for results. The best situation is when you get a positive feedback loop running, where each action and reaction builds up to the next.

Because of this, I try to get out of her head - to use your metaphor - and react, too, to give the submissive more channels of information to reinforce the mood. Sometimes. Sometimes I'll go the opposite route and blindfold, put earplugs in, and communicate only by touch. But at least at that point I don't have contradictory signals, which is the devil.


< Message edited by DMFParadox -- 11/3/2010 2:47:47 PM >

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RE: Femdom sexual relationship dynamics - 11/4/2010 4:51:35 AM   
DesFIP


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From: Apple County NY
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer

I see my focus on his sensation as playing my property like a fine instrument, and as a hearty, healthy appreciation of female sexuality. 



I just wanted to say that with the change of gender, this is how he feels about playing with me. He has said as that he views my body as his canvas, and his ropes the equivalent of paint. But he has a great deal of pleasure playing with my sexuality and we both mourn the loss of the intense multiple orgasms that menopause has robbed me of. I think he mourns them more than me, he just had enormous pleasure making me cum even when I was pleading with him to stop, that I was overloaded with sensations.

Perhaps this view of partner as toy or instrument is more related to power than to gender?


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RE: Femdom sexual relationship dynamics - 11/4/2010 6:18:14 AM   
OttersSwim


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer
Anyone else want to share about the sexual dynamics of their femdom relationship?


For us, sex is all about connection.  As such, we do it as often as we can! 

As many of you know, we have a heavily weighted service dynamic where I am in my element when I am serving the needs of my Lady.  This applies sexually too!  We engage in both oral and penetration and find penetration to be the most connecting for us.  Of course, She is in control and She does a little countdown to climax and that is wonderful.  I love servicing her and giving energy to her happiness and contentment.

Often it is tender, and sometimes She goes all feral animal on me with biting and clawing...that drives me wild I can tell you.  :)   She knows my erogenous zones and manipulates them at her will...like in the kitchen or the grocery store.  Sexually, while I have male plumbing, I am nearly always in a female heartspace.  I say heartspace because when we first got together, it was a female headspace and being in your head during sex just does not work.  Over time, that has transitioned for me and I feel into it rather than trying to think into it.  Approaching it from a heart perspective means for me that my male plumbing is included in the act and yet the feeling of femaleness in me does not diminish.  I am a girlie-boy.

We are both very aware of the chakra transition of orgasm and the best are where the orgasm energy transitions all the way out of the top of your head.  Those generally come from being in deep heartspace with each other.  When that happens, there are always tears because it is an overwhelming feeling that starts in the loins, shoots straight through your heart, and out the top of your head.  For me, these total body orgasms are completely new and make sex something that connects on the soul level.  At least for me.  :)


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RE: Femdom sexual relationship dynamics - 11/4/2010 9:14:41 AM   
LadyNTrainer


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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
Perhaps this view of partner as toy or instrument is more related to power than to gender?


I would certainly expect so.  My sexual orientation is to be attracted to males, and I am a dominant, so I have an appreciation of male sexuality that is manifested as enjoying my submissive partner's orgasms.  Replace the wording with your own sexual orientation and gender of choice and I'm sure there are people across the kink spectrum wired the same way.  I doubt it has jack shit to do with gender, actually. 


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RE: Femdom sexual relationship dynamics - 11/4/2010 10:16:43 AM   
LadyHibiscus


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Status: offline 		I agree, it's a power thing. One of the reasons I so rarely have sex with submissives is that I don't want to offer the vulnerability.

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RE: Femdom sexual relationship dynamics - 11/4/2010 10:32:45 AM   
LadyNTrainer


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus
I agree, it's a power thing. One of the reasons I so rarely have sex with submissives is that I don't want to offer the vulnerability.


I hear and respect that you feel vulnerable during PIV sex.  Not everyone does feel that way however.  Our culture tends to view penetration as a dominant act and has slang metaphors that support this view, but other cultures reflect a vagina-dominant view where the vagina "eats" the penis or is "fed" by the penis, and it is the males who feel insecurity and vulnerability during this time. 

Probably the last cultural remnant we have of this meme is the vagina dentata, which can still make boys clutch their ding-dongs and think twice about whether they want to risk being that vulnerable by offering their member to a woman who demands their performance.  ;)


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RE: Femdom sexual relationship dynamics - 11/4/2010 10:34:48 AM   
OttersSwim


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus
I agree, it's a power thing. One of the reasons I so rarely have sex with submissives is that I don't want to offer the vulnerability.


I believe it is possible for a Lady to maintain her Authority even in a situation where She is being penetrated.   Wherein the submissive must ask for permission...to enter Her, and to climax, everything done is for Her pleasure and his ultimate pleasure (or not) is at Her whim.  As I said earlier, my Lady uses a countdown method that easily maintains Her Authority during the entire event.

Now, I personally think that it is completely fine for a Dominant to be and show vulnerability and not loose a wit of power in a dynamic...but that is me, and it is a subject perhaps for another discussion. 

< Message edited by OttersSwim -- 11/4/2010 10:35:36 AM >

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RE: Femdom sexual relationship dynamics - 11/4/2010 11:22:42 AM   
LadyNTrainer


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quote:

ORIGINAL: OttersSwim
I believe it is possible for a Lady to maintain her Authority even in a situation where She is being penetrated.   Wherein the submissive must ask for permission...to enter Her, and to climax, everything done is for Her pleasure and his ultimate pleasure (or not) is at Her whim.  As I said earlier, my Lady uses a countdown method that easily maintains Her Authority during the entire event.


Absolutely.  Everyone has different methods.  Mine tend to look more like, "You're a hot little studmuffin.  I want a piece of that.  Your clothes.  Lose them.  Give me stud service."  I may or may not add, "or else", and his ass may or may not be bruised, welted or plugged at the time.  But his understanding of our respective roles is crystal clear.  There is absolutely no confusion here, even when I'm on all fours and he's doing his best to emulate a bucking bronco rider. I appreciate male sexual energy and passion.  In fact I demand it. 

My pet studmuffin fucking me good and hard for as long as I want is not male dominance.   If male dominance were a ballpark, what we do would not only not be in the ballpark, it would not even be in the same zip code as the ballpark's long distance commuter parking lot.  You couldn't get there from here without a map and a full tank of gas.    I have no problem with male dominance; I respect my brothers and sisters in leather who are oriented differently from me.  It just doesn't float my personal boat.  What gets me hot, wet and off is doing lovely bad things to men and making them like it so much that they give me passionate stud service on demand.  

Our sexual dynamics are that he gives and I take.  I tell him I want some hard cock and he brings it and delivers for all he's worth.  He had better, because if I'm not satisfied I will get off by fucking him up the ass.  And I prefer to fuck a bruised and welted ass; the reactions are better and he wiggles more.  *evil sadistic grin*  The predominant theme here is what I want, I get, because I own that ass.  Personally I can't really feel vulnerable in this context.  I'm with my loving, obedient male property and I am in complete control.  Relaxed, enjoying myself, yes.  But not really vulnerable.  He's not emotionally capable of hurting me or even disobeying, and I bench press more than he does anyway. 

quote:

Now, I personally think that it is completely fine for a Dominant to be and show vulnerability and not loose a wit of power in a dynamic...but that is me, and it is a subject perhaps for another discussion. 


That's a good point, and it depends on whether you define vulnerability as emotional openness and availability, or putting yourself in a position where you feel weaker than your partner and you must trust them not to hurt you physically or emotionally.


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RE: Femdom sexual relationship dynamics - 11/4/2010 1:07:31 PM   
LadyHibiscus


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Status: offline 		LOL Yeah I figured I was opening a can of something or other!

I love the IDEA of man meat at my beck and call. Every once in a very great while, I meet a man that meets my qualifications for that role. Generally, though, I am only happy sexually with other dominants, or with vanillas, not those that I am in an authority relationship with. I might fuck that boy, but my orgasms are MY property, and not something that I will give him. Yes, it is withholding intimacy. Oh well. Intimacy is something I reserve for those I am in parity relationships with.

I has nothing to do with CONTROL, and everything to do with my role in the chain of command. I admire those of you who can have slaves for life partners. For me, the person whose life I am guiding and controlling is NOT my best friend, by definition. By being "in charge", I am being separate. I know that I am wired that way, it's one of the reasons I am not a high protocol person, because every time someone calls me "madam" when they could be using my name, they are reinforcing that separateness in my mind.

I am madly envious of LnT's relationships, and a studmuffin whenever I want him? EXCELLENT idea! Sign me up! Better yet, send Peon a plane ticket, mmkay?



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RE: Femdom sexual relationship dynamics - 11/4/2010 1:34:02 PM   
LadyNTrainer


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus
I love the IDEA of man meat at my beck and call. Every once in a very great while, I meet a man that meets my qualifications for that role. Generally, though, I am only happy sexually with other dominants, or with vanillas, not those that I am in an authority relationship with. I might fuck that boy, but my orgasms are MY property, and not something that I will give him. Yes, it is withholding intimacy. Oh well. Intimacy is something I reserve for those I am in parity relationships with.


Different strokes for different folks.  You're not doing it better or worse, just doing it differently.  You enjoy sex with other dominants more than with submissives.  Some women enjoy sex with other women more than they like it with men.   For me, a relationship of equals is always going to be missing something.  The deeper intimacy of ownership just ain't there, and that's gonna wilt my dick.  And my dick is made of silicone, so it really takes some wilting.  LOL 

Seriously, not owning or at least dominating someone I sleep with is just too weird to me.  I'd feel that he was withholding intimacy from me, and that would be a problem.  I think that's where the issue of negative vulnerability would come up for me.

quote:

I am madly envious of LnT's relationships, and a studmuffin whenever I want him? EXCELLENT idea! Sign me up! Better yet, send Peon a plane ticket, mmkay?


Having two of them is even better.  ;)   Peon's a hottie fer sure, but if you want him you'll have to get your own plane ticket.


_____________________________

Your dominant Personal Trainer for fitness and body shaping in the lifestyle. Let my fetish be your motivation.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Femdom sexual relationship dynamics - 11/4/2010 1:43:56 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		It is not easy having an Internet Love Slave when you are not wealthy, that's for sure!!

And I never thought I was doing it wrong... or that anyone else was! I tried hard to make myself fit that traditional mold, and I sure did love fucking what I owned... but them fucking ME... not so much.

This is also tied in with my own issues regarding intimacy and trust, of course, and my inability to really have either with a man anymore. I am happy to be the confidante of my submissives but it is utterly a one way street unless THEY indicate that they want it to be otherwise. And guess what? Most of them do NOT. Funny old thing, life.

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[page 23 girl]



(in reply to LadyNTrainer)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Femdom sexual relationship dynamics - 11/4/2010 2:57:38 PM   
comingbacktolife


Posts: 10
Joined: 9/29/2010
Status: offline 		Fantastic thread. Wish I was actually involved in the BDSM scene rather than just thinking about it....

(in reply to LadyNTrainer)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Femdom sexual relationship dynamics - 11/4/2010 3:10:55 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Well involve yourself! Thinking might burn calories, but it doesn't help your fantasies become real!

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[page 23 girl]



(in reply to comingbacktolife)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Femdom sexual relationship dynamics - 11/4/2010 3:26:53 PM   
comingbacktolife


Posts: 10
Joined: 9/29/2010
Status: offline 		As much as I struggle with getting involved, I am married with a very conservative wife who has no interest. So here I am reading and learning on here but really doubt anything will ever happen. But oh my do I dream about it!!!

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 19
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