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ThatDaveGuy69 -> Commando Week: An Immodest Proposal (11/4/2010 3:00:12 PM)
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Airline security in the US continues to be largely a matter of window dressing – the ultimate Theater of the Absurd. The latest wrinkle in this already twisted tale is the growing use of the Full Body Scanner. This is a type of x-ray machine that can see through whatever you’re wearing to produce an image of your body that the late Bob Gucnione would have been proud to publish. I’m no prude when it comes to the human body. I’ve attended Burning Man twice and on both occasions I spent plenty of time wearing nothing but shoes, a hat, and a smile. But that was my choice. No government agency made me do it. And, of course, not everyone shares that same joy of nakedness. In fact, some people are very insecure about their body and wouldn’t be caught dead unclothed in public. And they certainly wouldn’t want a random TSA worker viewing their body scan image on a screen, no matter what. We’ve been told time and again these images are secure and that only the TSA agents will ever see them. And yet such images keep popping up on the internet. And all the time there is no demonstrable increase in airline security. Now you DO have the right to opt-out of the full body scan but you will then be subjected to a much more thorough pat-down type of search.
What we need is a movement. So in the great traditions of “Draw Mohammed Day” and “Boobquake” I would like to immodestly propose Commando Week.
From November 22 through November 29 I encourage all US travelers to skip your undies when you dress prior to your flight. Further, women should wear a skirt and men should wear a kilt. At the security line, tell the nice TSA person that you do not wish to go through the full body scanner and would happily stand for the enhanced pat-down. Feel free to tell the agent assigned to you about your lack of undies – or let them discover this on their own. Either way you should be prepared to moan and sigh erotically while being searched.
If 2 or 3 people on every flight do this I suspect the TSA will very quickly change the way they do business. And even if they don’t you can at least say you tried.
OK, so the downside is that you will forever after be subjected to additional security and maybe put on the infamous Do Not Fly List. Worth it!
~Dave
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