What is the best way to find a mistress that will train you?

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What is the best way to find a mistress that will train... - 11/4/2010 6:34:12 PM

chaseaswish

Posts: 1
Joined: 11/4/2010
Status: offline

I am a young male, early twenties, and have been seeking BDSM / Sub training from a competent dominant woman and feel like I have searched high and low to no avail. What is the best way to find a woman that will dominate me? I feel like I am good looking and a good candidate but I can't seem to break through the clutter. If you, or someone you can recommend me to would be up to it I would like to talk with them. I am ready to be trained to do anything.

Sincerely

Post #: 1

RE: What is the best way to find a mistress that will t... - 11/4/2010 6:39:06 PM

dcnovice

Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline

This thread may be helpful.

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to chaseaswish)

Post #: 2

RE: What is the best way to find a mistress that will t... - 11/4/2010 6:43:03 PM

seekingOwnertoo

Posts: 1323
Joined: 8/1/2009
Status: offline

If you are, who you say you are ... it should be easy ... with work on your part.

Two actions I would recommend are:

1. See a Pro Domme ... and find out if you like this in real life, and

2. Most importantly, find munches and get togethers where you can meet people, in your area, in real life.

Both will help you.

Yes, you can read profiles here and elsewhere, and you can get responses from profiles ... once you know how to respond and interact ....

But if you are sincere, two above, will get the fastest results ... one above, will help you get familiar ... quickly.

That is my

(in reply to chaseaswish)

Post #: 3

RE: What is the best way to find a mistress that will t... - 11/4/2010 6:49:47 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I wouldn't recommend anyone to someone I knew if I didn't know that person Myself. Would you do that and put your name connected with someone that you'd never met? Geez. I wouldn't recommend someone for a job if I didn't know them or was familiar with their work. Why would someone do that when it comes to personal relationships?

My suggestion for you is to try going to a munch or a BDSM event in your area. In addition, if you were thinking that by creating a profile here meant you would find an instant match (your joining date says today) I do have to tell you that it doesn't work that way.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to chaseaswish)

Post #: 4

RE: What is the best way to find a mistress that will t... - 11/4/2010 7:00:41 PM

BonesFromAsh

Posts: 1362
Joined: 6/17/2010
Status: offline

Google "bdsm/munch" for your state and get a dose of reality.

If you want to stick to online instead of stepping out, read this thread... Profile Help: How to Attract a Dominant Woman because your profile is in serious need of a rewrite.

Patience, presentation and perseverance.

*edited to add another "P" word.

< Message edited by BonesFromAsh -- 11/4/2010 7:07:22 PM >

(in reply to chaseaswish)

Post #: 5

RE: What is the best way to find a mistress that will t... - 11/5/2010 4:45:46 AM

slavekal

Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline

There are many ways. One of them is to have a good collarme profile. You also have to go to parties and events. There are a lot of other ways as well.

_____________________________

"The Courage to Submit: the submissive male's guide to finding a dominant woman"
http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/the-courage-to-submit-the-guide-for-the-submissive-male-seeking-a-dominant-woman/5968917

(in reply to BonesFromAsh)

Post #: 6

RE: What is the best way to find a mistress that will t... - 11/5/2010 1:14:06 PM

MistressLexine

Posts: 190
Joined: 8/25/2010
Status: offline

If you are new attend some events and see a Pro Domme to see if you enjoy the lifestyle. Just introduce yourself and see if your interests are compatible

(in reply to slavekal)

Post #: 7

RE: What is the best way to find a mistress that will t... - 11/5/2010 3:32:22 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

I can understand wanting a relationship or a play session... but why would you want "training"? That's teaching you to please one Domme when you'll likely be looking for another one.

Why do you feel you need to be trained?

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to MistressLexine)

Post #: 8

RE: What is the best way to find a mistress that will t... - 11/5/2010 5:06:43 PM

slavekal

Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline

I would not recommend going to s pro if a relationship with a Mistress is what you seek. The two are quite different. I do recommend going to all the events you can. And there tactics you can use to gauge the domme potential in women you meet in vanilla settings.

_____________________________

"The Courage to Submit: the submissive male's guide to finding a dominant woman"
http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/the-courage-to-submit-the-guide-for-the-submissive-male-seeking-a-dominant-woman/5968917

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 9

RE: What is the best way to find a mistress that will t... - 11/5/2010 5:46:12 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavekal

I would not recommend going to s pro if a relationship with a Mistress is what you seek. The two are quite different. I do recommend going to all the events you can.

I have to second this. While I realize that some of the folks who responded on the thread made the suggestion because it is based on the same as they did in their personal experience, I think there are times that we suggest the 'go to a pro' idea a little too quickly. If the OP were a female sub, the suggestion wouldn't even come up at all. It's not a bad suggestion, but I don't think it should be the first thing that we recommend.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to slavekal)

Post #: 10

RE: What is the best way to find a mistress that will t... - 11/5/2010 5:54:23 PM

MzMinx

Posts: 277
Joined: 12/26/2005
Status: offline

I personaly have a particular dislike of the word training.

I seek relationships which involve learning about each other, that are formed with a power transfer/authority and include bdsm ... training makes it seem like a formulaic function not a relationship. Learning about and understanding what the other enjoys is very important, but its not the single criticle factor af a relationship.
In my experience people who name training as what they are seeking always seem to care more about the activities done to them than the person doing it with them.

It always makes me think of pro sessions or someone so caught up in porn they think every moment will be about them being correctd by a mistress in leather and a whip. Which could be what you are seeking?

Same as when a submissive just desires a 'dominant' woman .. nothing else matters ... but that she be female and dominant .... again if soemoen is not interested in all of me, why would I be interested in forming a relationship with them?

I also agree with slavekal .... pro sessions can let you taste an activity they do not really let you learn if you desire submission

Mz Minx

(in reply to slavekal)

Post #: 11

RE: What is the best way to find a mistress that will t... - 11/6/2010 5:47:33 AM

nephandi

Posts: 4470
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
Status: offline

Greetings

Making a profile on this site with detailed information on yourself, and what you are seeking as well as your vanilla interests is one step to take, becoming active on the forums and getting to know people is also a good idea. Getting involved with your local BDSM community might help you. Basically put yourself out there, meet people, be kind and polite and a decent person and then you stand a good chance of meeting someone who is interested in the same as you.

I wish you well and good luck.

_____________________________

Whatever you think you can do or believe you can do, begin it. Action has magic, grace and power in it.--Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Futon torpedoes, make love not war!--Aswad

(in reply to chaseaswish)

Post #: 12

RE: What is the best way to find a mistress that will t... - 11/6/2010 5:50:33 AM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

OP, you joined the site for ONE day and you are already frustrated?

Hold on, it is going to be a bumpy ride my friend. I do hope you meant that you have been searching high and low elsewhere for a Domme....

(in reply to nephandi)

Post #: 13

RE: What is the best way to find a mistress that will t... - 11/6/2010 6:26:20 AM

poise

Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline

Also, coming back to your thread to thank those that took the time
to answer it might be a good way to present yourself to the ladies.

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 14

RE: What is the best way to find a mistress that will t... - 11/6/2010 11:11:03 AM

SthrnCom4t

Posts: 343
Joined: 9/9/2007
Status: offline

I'm not sure what you mean by 'training', and so a bit of clarification could be in order.

Are you seeking to have your desires met, without a 'relationship' component? Meaning, its all focused around what you want to see, do and experience, without having to invest much energy on your part. Or, are you seeking an on-going arrangement/relationship, where you invest time and money, and compromise, not only receiving, but giving someone what she wants? This could include doing things you don't necessarily find appealing, but it's something She really wants, and it won't permanently harm you, so you do it for Her pleasure.

Power exchange is a relationship; figuring out what you are seeking is helpful so you know where to look. The good thing is, you don't have to focus on 'just one thing'. It's very much like fishing. What kind of fish are you seeking? The big trophy on the wall? Just a fish (size doesn't matter except to be legal), for the pleasure of fishing in an of itself (and you throw it back), or the fish you want to take home and feast on?

As with many things in this world, you can 'make a purchase' of the service, (valuable service in my mind) with the investment coming out of your wallet.

You can get out and meet other like-minded folks, and find someone whose interests are complimentary to yours. (takes many more hours usually).

If you are looking to establish a longer term, mutually beneficial relationship type of exchange, you have to be 'a catch' yourself. In that, you have to determine what are your assets, and what do you bring to the table that Someone else mind find useful. Being Women, that's a broad spectrum, as we are unique and each want something just slightly different.

Having an open-mind, and a well-written profile with a good attitude is the place to start. Often we are not interested in someone who is all about themselves, here on this forum. We enjoy active participation, which is nourishing to discussion in a respectful manner, but not like a puppy bouncing around in the middle of the room seeking attention. (they just get put out in the back yard or sent to the pound if no redeeming values are identified).

Read previous forums and get to know some of the regulars here....they are a very insightful group with a variety of opinions.

Best of luck,

_____________________________

Sthrn
Honorably served by OttersSwim

'The sign of a developed mind is one in which two opposing ideas can coexist' - Oscar Wilde.

(in reply to chaseaswish)

Post #: 15

RE: What is the best way to find a mistress that will t... - 11/6/2010 3:09:57 PM

slavekal

Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline

I agree with some of the ladies here in that a relationship is about more than dominance. I have known some very dominant women who had little or nothing in common with me. You need to be compatible BDSM wise and in some vanilla areas too.
I am a fan of training, however. To me, a good Mistress is one who has clear rules and goals and who teaches her slaves what she wants and how she wants things done.

< Message edited by slavekal -- 11/6/2010 3:10:41 PM >

_____________________________

"The Courage to Submit: the submissive male's guide to finding a dominant woman"
http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/the-courage-to-submit-the-guide-for-the-submissive-male-seeking-a-dominant-woman/5968917

(in reply to SthrnCom4t)

Post #: 16

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