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RE: Naked pics - 11/7/2010 9:44:51 PM

dory007

Posts: 40
Joined: 7/2/2009
Status: offline

it is more of a power fix to have some unknown on line woman demean herself by sending him masturbatory material.

(in reply to Twoshoes)

Post #: 21

RE: Naked pics - 11/8/2010 2:20:15 AM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: smartsub10

I have been chatting online and on the phone with a Dom in another state and we really seem to have connected. We've exchanged conservative pics and he's seen the pics I've posted on my profile. We are talking about meeting soon.

He has been pressuring me to send him more explicit photos of myself and I've complied - to a point. I don't want to show any more than what any one would see while walking around on a beach. Anything more than that until a relationship has been absolutely established makes me very uncomfortable.

I told him this and his response is that I should be flattered that he wants to see naked pics of me and that to send him these pics is something that I would be doing for him and ME. I don't get that.

I don't want to ruin what we have so far but I also don't want to compromise my own values and rules. Am I being too prudish? Why would it be unacceptable to wait until we've met and feel a true connection in the flesh? I've had great chemistry with someone on line in the past and for whatever reason it disintegrated on meeting.

Thanks for any and all thoughts.

Hi, we've never been formerly introduced, but I'm your conscience...!

He's pushing most of the right buttons for you - on about the same level that a car salesman really is concerned about how you're doin'....

You have rules - and values - and a conscience! I'm thinking you're *deliberately* ignoring the geek alarms ol' mate is setting off in your head, yeah?

When it comes to wanting to believe, all subs are masochists....

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to smartsub10)

Post #: 22

RE: Naked pics - 11/8/2010 3:03:36 AM

ownedbyPF

Posts: 126
Joined: 2/18/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Twoshoes

Why wouldn't these men just visit a site containing what others have informed me is deemed p-o-r-n-o-graphy? (not sure i spelled that right; I'm more innocent than dew, mist and snowflakes combined)

Because there are an amzing number of men out there who want to do more than watch a movie, or look at pics. Alot of them have a keen interest in pretending to be Dom! So they hook up with some sub via computer and/or phone and play DomlyDom! They go online and they give orders, and they talk about how it will be like this, and they want that, and they give themselves this awesome hour long fantasy to jerk off to later... then they hang up just before their wives get home to scream, "Why can't you take out the flippin garbage like a grown up?!" Or it's some other hang up... they live in their parents basement, or they are 80 (not that 80 year olds can't rock, I'm sure!) Or they don't actually want the responsibility of a sub, or pick your issue!

It's better than porn to them... it's like live action porn... or role play porn... or role play DomlyDom! And really, how fun can that be without nudie pics??!

To the OP: I agree with everyone else... no meet, no real life, no pics!
~ownedbyPF

(in reply to Twoshoes)

Post #: 23

RE: Naked pics - 11/8/2010 4:56:21 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

Personally... unless I'm meeting them for a coffee later that week there are two pics I want to see..... a good clear face pic and a pic that gives some indication of approximate bodyshape. Other than than I couldn't care less about pics.

If things go where I'm looking to go, I have all the time time the world to enjoy looking at the real thing, not just a pic... and I can always take any pics I want afterward.....If things don't go there then why would I want the pics.... oh... unless I was a collector?... makes you wonder!

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to Twoshoes)

Post #: 24

RE: Naked pics - 11/8/2010 5:25:27 AM

DMFParadox

Posts: 1405
Joined: 9/11/2007
Status: offline

Guys don't have to ask for these kinds of pics. I said the same in DarkStephen's thread. If you can't get with the girl for some reason (distance,time, etc.) and the byplay has gotten hot enough for her, she'll send them unsolicited. Or she'll ask if you want to see them. I've never asked for naked pics, tho I have asked for body shots, and found myself getting the full frontal more often than not. Not that I'm complaining, mind you. I think it's a marvelous trend. Though I guess it has something to do with conversation trends, what I find easy somebody else may just not hit the right triggers for. And vice versa. But whatev.

I've also found more than a few women trying to tease me into admitting I want to see them naked, tho.

So your boyo might be just vibing off all the other women who seem to feel this is a large component of online flirting, and the way you're being coy about it isn't triggering his hard-limit sensor.

I honestly would not crap my pants about this too much; just say yes or no or whatever's comfortable, and if he pushes say it's a hard limit. Don't read more into it than that. If I found a girl who got all red-faced about something this unimportant, I'd probably tease her about it too just for the fun of it, even though I'd normally not give a damn.

_____________________________

bloody hell, get me some aspirin and a whiskey straight

"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe

(in reply to RavenMuse)

Post #: 25

RE: Naked pics - 11/8/2010 6:28:37 AM

anniezz338

Posts: 1183
Joined: 8/17/2010
Status: offline

Maybe try some face to face webcamming for a while before doing the nude stuff. Being in another state, I would think that would be the preferred method anyway.

"Am I being prudish?" Do you think you are? :)

(in reply to DMFParadox)

Post #: 26

RE: Naked pics - 11/8/2010 7:32:55 AM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dory007

it is more of a power fix to have some unknown on line woman demean herself by sending him masturbatory material.

ding ding ding! And we have a winner...

It's not the actual nudity, it's having her do it for him. The fact that she's been reluctant probably gets him wanting it even more- hence the lame 'reasons' he is using in an attempt to manipulate her. He's looking for a D/s power exchange without having the relationship in place first, which obviously isn't going to work- but he doesn't know that or he'd not have pushed for it.

In my opinion, his attempt to manipulate her results in an immediate dismissal on her part to consider things with him. He obviously has no idea of how to go about setting up a relationship that is based on trust and respect if he tries right out of the gate to con the OP into doing something for him before they have any kind of agreement.

(in reply to dory007)

Post #: 27

RE: Naked pics - 11/8/2010 10:33:15 AM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

That would wave a really big red flag for me. Seems that once you send them you will never hear from him again. he could even used them on a different website broadcast them. Now i am not saying he will i am just saying he could do that.

I would not meet this guy he is very disrespecful. I am a bt of a smart ass i would say you want nude pics ok you first.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to Twoshoes)

Post #: 28

RE: Naked pics - 11/14/2010 5:52:55 PM

Firebirdseeking

Posts: 477
Joined: 9/3/2006
Status: offline

Ya know, I know this is a kink site, alternative, open about sexuality, etc, but why would you even consider such a request? Sorry, but I think that is a crude, socially unacceptable request. He doesnt even know you. There are men (and women!) in this "lifestyle" who think they can ask rude and crude questions, make inappropriate requests, etc, and that its OK because we are "alternative". Sorry, I don't go for that. I had a big wake up call 2 years ago when a man here asked me to write him an "erotic fantasy" of us. He had not even talked with me on the phone. I told him no. Then he sent me erotic pics of what he had been thinking about...well, you can fill in the blanks. If I wanted to write erotic fantasies, I'd get paid to do it. I just think people like this are social misfits and are hiding out here. That's my two cents.

(in reply to littleone35)

Post #: 29

RE: Naked pics - 11/14/2010 8:45:32 PM

sweetsub1957

Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline

~FR~
If He really wanted to know you for YOU, instead of just getting wank fodder, He would accept not getting those naked pics. Besides, isn't He going to meet you in person? You're not the movie of the week that He gets a trailer on to preview. (1)IF He's lucky enough to become your Dominant, He'll see it anyway. What's His hurry? (2)I certainly would NOT want naked pics of me floating around in cyber-land. Like angelikaJ said, once you hit that send button, you have NO control over what happens to those pictures or where they go. When I was new to all this and pretty naive, I fell for that line a couple times and, to this day, I'm terrified of what might happen to those pics. (3)I think He's just looking for a quick porn fix. Don't give it to Him.

~sweetsub~

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to Twoshoes)

Post #: 30

RE: Naked pics - 11/14/2010 11:37:56 PM

soul2share

Posts: 7084
Joined: 12/18/2007
From: somewhere out there.....
Status: offline

JUST DON'T DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Listen to the advice you're getting here.....why would you do something that you know will make you uncomfortable? This isn't a yellow flag, it's a fiery red one......the man has absolutely no respect for you or your personal standards. He wants naked pics of women, he can go anywhere for those.....he's just a troll looking for wank fodder.

_____________________________

I have to stop saying "How stupid can you be?"...people are starting to take it as a challenge!

*Not a fuck was given.*

(in reply to Twoshoes)

Post #: 31

RE: Naked pics - 11/15/2010 3:19:09 AM

nashsubcurious4w

Posts: 18
Joined: 8/15/2010
Status: offline

I completely agree with Rexeena. As a submissive, we still have the right and responsibiltiy to expect respect. He is not your Dom yet and has no right to cross the line of disrespect. If, after explaining your uneasiness to him he sitll insists and you comply, he will have no reason to respect you in the future.

(in reply to smartsub10)

Post #: 32

RE: Naked pics - 11/15/2010 9:11:51 PM

AnimusRex

Posts: 2165
Joined: 5/13/2006
Status: offline

As a card carrying red blooded perv, I have as much desire as anyone to see nekkid wimmin.

But the fastest way to turn a woman off is to unwittingly demonstrate that you are expecting her to be some sort of porn fantasy.

Most women are as insecure about their bodies as men are about their income- that is, the cruel yardstick by which society judges and weighs us, and invariably finds us lacking.

Ask him to send you a pic of his IRS Form 1040.

(in reply to smartsub10)

Post #: 33

RE: Naked pics - 11/16/2010 5:01:55 PM

porcelaine

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: smartsub10

I don't want to ruin what we have so far but I also don't want to compromise my own values and rules. Am I being too prudish? Why would it be unacceptable to wait until we've met and feel a true connection in the flesh? I've had great chemistry with someone on line in the past and for whatever reason it disintegrated on meeting.

Greetings smartsub10,

I believe you're ignoring an important part of this and that's the fact you're mulling over it at all. If your desire to remain clothed and adhere to your standard was heavily entrenched in your person this would not be a factor. That doesn't mean you've cast it aside, but it might suggest that some part of you is considering the possibility of doing such for him. Rather than dwell on whether it's acceptable I'd ponder if you're comfortable exposing yourself in this manner irregardless if the situation moves forward. Best of luck.

Namaste,

~porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to smartsub10)

Post #: 34

RE: Naked pics - 11/17/2010 2:09:06 AM

ranja

Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline

I am here for on-line only and sooner or later the cyber Dom wants pictures, for me it all depends on how they go about their request, maybe i will follow, maybe i won't (never face and body in same shot)
i am a bit of an exhibitionist and i like making arty pictures, if the Dom gives me a good lead and nice inspiration and allows for my sense of creativity then it usually makes me feel great to do some sexy pictures
(check profile for examples)

if it makes you feel uncomfortable don't do it

< Message edited by ranja -- 11/17/2010 2:12:55 AM >

(in reply to smartsub10)

Post #: 35

RE: Naked pics - 11/17/2010 4:37:23 AM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

I was chatting with someone who was very pushy about nude pictures. His ungraciousness about my No sent up a little red flag. He subsequently apologized, and we continued talking. Then he started pushing for my home address before we'd had our vanilla meeting. His anger at my refusal alarmed me. I looked him up in our county's clerk of courts database and found he had two domestic violence charges, two different women, 12 years apart. Needless to say, we never had that vanilla meeting.

When I found myself thinking "this guy has boundary issues" about a second man, I looked him up as well and also found domestic violence charges.

There won't always be a public record to confirm my gut instinct, but whenever I feel red flags, I don't meet. My gut is smarter than (coughs) other parts of me.

BTW, it's not at all the nude pictures that's the issue for me; when someone with whom I've been talking for a while asks for more pics, I'll often send a topless one. It was his pushiness and the way he handled my No. If a man won't respect little limits, how can I trust him to respect big ones?

I was talking to third guy who pouted when I told him I didn't want to have sex the first time we met. He reluctantly agreed, and then his texts the next day were all about the sexual things he was going to do to me when we met. When I diplomatically reminded him that I had said I didn't want to have sex the first time, he said I wasn't very submissive. Hahaha, I'm not YOUR submissive yet buddy! I told him he was sounding more AFF than BDSM and we never met.

I would like to take this opportunity to thank the respectful gentlemen I have met with whom I have engaged in delightful Safe Sane and Consensual play.

(in reply to smartsub10)

Post #: 36

RE: Naked pics - 11/17/2010 5:48:54 AM

dreamerdreaming

Posts: 2839
Status: offline

_____________________________

Download SLAVE LOVER. Explicit BDSM porn, with a plot! A love story, on a FemDom planet! http://www.amazon.com/Slave-Lover-Chronicles-Book-ebook/dp/B0031ERBLI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1261973416&sr=1

(in reply to kalikshama)

Post #: 37

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