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SoulcatcherXXX -> RE: Can I learn to be a Master (11/11/2010 7:33:40 AM)
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Yes you can learn to be one--everyone who is one has learned at some point. It isn't quick or easy, so don't expect it to be--it takes years, and you'll make more than plenty of mistakes along the way as you learn and practice. Never try to fake being a Master--that only works for about two seconds, then you look like a fool forever after that...experienced slaves can tell, and very quickly...so just don't try that. Be honest about yourself, it works much better! As others said, study and practice and talk to people in the lifestyle as much as you can. Avoid the mistake of thinking you know things you really don't know, also avoid the mistake of assuming that because a girl is a sub/slave you can give her orders and she should obey them, even if you just met her...that isn't true, as you'll find out very quickly if you try to order around the wrong person.
The most important thing in D/s is finding the right match. Don't be in a rush for that, it takes however long it takes and a bad match is no fun at all and a waste of time. Remember that every sub/slave is an individual human being and must be treated that way--things that work for one won't work at all for another, each person is unique and has different needs, triggers, limits and potentials. Be trustworthy always--that is very important! If you give your word, make sure to keep it...if someone decides to put their trust in you, be sure you never make them sorry they did, because without trust you've got nothing at all.
Looking at D/s from the outside in, it is hard for people to see and understand the full extent of what is really going on. They may see whips, shackles, cages, girls being told how to dress and what to do...it may look like abuse to vanillas, or inhumane treatment, or just plain stupidity...but they have no way of knowing why those things are happening and can't guess. D/s is as much a personal exploration as anything, and as a Master it is both your job and your responsibility to keep your slave safe at all times, to teach her and train her, to explore and expand her limits and to be the rock that she can trust and believe in. Those are not easy things to do and be, but they are required. When you make decisions as a Master, try to make sure they are good ones because you have another person's life in your hands and they are depending on you to make good choices. There is a ton of psychology involved, too, and it's important to always keep that in mind. Many slaves come from an abused childhood, many are fragile and needy, all will at some point test you. These are not necessarily bad things, but they are reality and you should always be aware of them. And when a slave tests you, she will watch carefully for your response...the test is a test of your personal strength, and if you show weakness when you should show strength and discipline, the slave will probably be gone within a matter of days in my experience. They don't "want" a strong Master--they need one, and will keep looking until they find one.
That's about all the tips I can think of this early in the morning, except to say that there is no right or wrong way to do D/s...everyone does it in their own way, and if it works for you and your slave then you're doing it right. Hope you can get some use out of some of this, and good luck!
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