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CallaFirestormBW -> RE: The Mistress Board (11/13/2010 10:57:37 AM)
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quote:
For me checking the boards is more of an occasional peek than following any particular discussion. Honestly, life is just too darn busy these days. There are certain posters whom I value what they have to say, and I would read no matter what the title, just because they began the post.
This is me, spot-on. I find that I have some time to invest in CC, but not nearly as much as I used to. Now that life is full, and my writing career is taking off, I don't have as much luxury to post as I used to -- but I have to say that there are some folks here whose posts generally spark my interest in commenting.
I'll agree with the sentiment that I'm more comfortable without gender lines in my version of M/s -- but then again, I'm not big on gender lines period. That being said, I do think that men and women have different perspectives on how things flow together, that both perspectives are valuable for a well-rounded understanding, and that, despite certain biases and fictional expectations, dominance and submission are genderless, but how we interact as people doesn't seem to be.
In general, I tend to ignore the negative posting and Bitch*&*MoanFests, unless I have some positive, productive perspective to share. I figure that, regardless of where I am, people tend to look for the negative. I think that the human race, in general, does so in order to gain commiseration in their struggles... but it also seems to me that, for the most part, the B&M postings and negativity don't generate that kind of communal rallying that the poster is seeking -- it just annoys people and leaves a haze of "bad reputation" around those who instigate such postings.
I know that people get frustrated. I get frustrated, too -- but a long time ago, one of my Mentors (tired, I'm sure, of listening to me whine about one thing or another) finally sat me down and said "Ok, I know you're feeling crappy -- but unless you can find some productive thing to -do- about it, everyone else is so wrapped up in their own pity-pot that they aren't going to be very keen on swimming in yours." I've never forgotten that, and I try to incorporate it in my interactions with other people.
I think, too, that some of us who have been around a while remember the cycle of postings... the repetition of themes, etc. That's common everywhere -- in every community I've been in, at some point most everything that can be said for newcomers is covered... and people who are just coming on board have questions and start looking for perspective -- and yes, its true that there are hundreds of posts under the search feature covering X... but sometimes, it's the -interaction- that people want, as much as the advice. They want to know that they're not alone NOW... reading old posts on the boards won't do that for most people... it is missing that interaction with people in -this- space and time that makes them feel less lost and alone. It's for this reason that I try not to get jaded when I see the 10 millionth post about starting a new poly family, or how to find a servant/Mistress, or how to manage jealousy.
I know that if there is a subject about which I'm curious -or- have some experience that might be of some value to someone, I'll usually take the time to participate. However, I know that I can't commit to any kind of regular activity, since I can't even manage to update my author's blog (which drives my publisher darned near to distraction!).
One thing that occurs to me is that the community itself is changing. I don't think that it's so much about the Mistress board as it is just a general discontent. Since anyone can post anywhere, I wonder if it is so relevant that we have boards specially dedicated to female dominants, male dominants, submissives, switches, or whatever -- especially because I think that some of those gender-based or alignment-based boards tend to intimidate posters who may have valuable information, but who aren't sure where they fit in the scheme of things -- For example, I've seen a LOT of posts from transgenders who have awesome ideas, but who are disrespected when they try to post from their chosen gender vs. their birth gender... I wonder if it would be more effective to have boards broken down into categories like, say, Poly (which we have), Protocol or Not, Ms, Ds, Fetish and Play Activities, Bondage and SM, and... I don't know... maybe "scary stuff" (for bloodsports, etc.)... so that people can post on subjects that -everyone- can participate on, and can float according to topics by a more... flexible range of subjects. (I hope this makes some sense... my brain is fried from a binge of novel-writing.)
Anyway -- I'll be here as long as the place is around, and I'll contribute where I can.
Calla
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