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IsaNova -> RE: Letting Go (11/14/2010 11:52:35 PM)
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I understand what you are asking for, it is both integral and difficult to achieve.
I can't give you some specific trust-building exercises and say they'll work for you. A lot has to do with you and your relationship with your dom. Try to look at what you are afraid of, what there is in that relationship and in yourself that causes hesitancy. Are you afraid he'll get mad at you, afraid he will be disappointed, or stop loving you? These are common fears, but fears not commonly answered.
My OPINION is that it is best to do what one can to speak from the heart. A former Master and still best friend of mine entered into a relationship with me, and it wasn't until I wrote a letter speaking from my heart, laying bound all my fears and insecurities and open, honest communication that we even started to let go. Even that was not easily replicated for me. The converse is, I have burned a lot of bridges and given myself a rather nasty reputation within our community specifically because I have been too open and honest with my words. I have spoken publicly and openly from the pain of my rejection and depression, and driven many people far far away from me.
Then again, I am also what my best friend calls emotionally retarded [8D]
Whatever it takes for you to let go, it isn't going to be easy or simple. I'd venture to say thinking it over and trying to come up with a solution won't help you here. You have to go with your gut, follow where your heart leads that you fear to tread. Making yourself vulnerable and open to this person isn't going to come naturally... we tend to insulate ourselves to avoid the pain that comes from invested relationships. Learn to recognize when you are being hesitant or afraid, when your defenses come up and that mild spidey sense goes off... and just leave it aside and follow your soul. When it boils down to it, you just have to let go and trust in Him.
I guarantee though, as long as He is the right type for you, when you finally do let go... you will never regret it.
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