RE: Letting Go

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Letting Go

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: Letting Go

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Letting Go - 11/12/2010 9:44:16 AM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ezanac

Okay, so this is my first serious posty...

How does one 'let go,' and feel instead of having the mind take over.

I have a good Dom, He is wonderful, and I want to submit fully, but goodness, it is like a firewall comes up and blocks everything to do with submitting - I seem to go on red alert, and my mind takes over and heads to the 'what if' categories.

Any suggestions would be helpful... thnx

I've gone to post several times since this topic began only to find myself somewhat perplexed by it... lol

As others have said or implied; there are trust issues stopping you from letting go no matter what your words say. They're not matched by your (re)actions - the true litmus.

Not letting go amounts to not ceding control to the dominant other and I have an affective way of addressing that - but comes the perplexing part.... The sub can't know in advance or the affect is diminished exponentially. It can be emotional and highly charged but forewarning reduces it to mere roleplay - pffft.

OP, I don't s'pose your Dom is onsite as I'd be happy to email my suggestion to him?

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to ezanac)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: Letting Go - 11/14/2010 11:52:35 PM

IsaNova

Posts: 23
Joined: 9/28/2010
Status: offline

I understand what you are asking for, it is both integral and difficult to achieve.

I can't give you some specific trust-building exercises and say they'll work for you. A lot has to do with you and your relationship with your dom. Try to look at what you are afraid of, what there is in that relationship and in yourself that causes hesitancy. Are you afraid he'll get mad at you, afraid he will be disappointed, or stop loving you? These are common fears, but fears not commonly answered.

My OPINION is that it is best to do what one can to speak from the heart. A former Master and still best friend of mine entered into a relationship with me, and it wasn't until I wrote a letter speaking from my heart, laying bound all my fears and insecurities and open, honest communication that we even started to let go. Even that was not easily replicated for me. The converse is, I have burned a lot of bridges and given myself a rather nasty reputation within our community specifically because I have been too open and honest with my words. I have spoken publicly and openly from the pain of my rejection and depression, and driven many people far far away from me.

Then again, I am also what my best friend calls emotionally retarded

Whatever it takes for you to let go, it isn't going to be easy or simple. I'd venture to say thinking it over and trying to come up with a solution won't help you here. You have to go with your gut, follow where your heart leads that you fear to tread. Making yourself vulnerable and open to this person isn't going to come naturally... we tend to insulate ourselves to avoid the pain that comes from invested relationships. Learn to recognize when you are being hesitant or afraid, when your defenses come up and that mild spidey sense goes off... and just leave it aside and follow your soul. When it boils down to it, you just have to let go and trust in Him.

I guarantee though, as long as He is the right type for you, when you finally do let go... you will never regret it.

(in reply to kiwisub12)

Profile

Post #: 22