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Why aren't the people of this community honest and trut... - 11/12/2010 11:27:30 AM

VMac

Posts: 7
Joined: 2/26/2009
Status: offline

I notice that a lot of the people that join this communityare either not truthful, or will not commit to their wants and needs as they have determined in their profiles and blogs, and i don't understand why. We here are supposed to be grown-ups with desires that have not, cannot and will not be met with by any other means than to join a community such as this.

This is a lifestyle and once you have recognized that, then you must give yourself a chance to fully explore what is offered. If you have truly engulfed your headspace in the life, and are not satisfied then at that time move on, but let the person know that you didn't find what it is you were looking for with them and say "i am moving on, or something".

We are mature people, at least that is the way i look at it and the way i would expect things to be handles.

Post #: 1

RE: Why aren't the people of this community honest and ... - 11/12/2010 11:32:03 AM

poise

Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline

Beats me.

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to VMac)

Post #: 2

RE: Why aren't the people of this community honest and ... - 11/12/2010 11:36:44 AM

Icarys

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

Simply put..because the community is made of up humans. Pick a reason and you could probably find 100,000 that would fit very well with it.

_____________________________

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(in reply to poise)

Post #: 3

RE: Why aren't the people of this community honest and ... - 11/12/2010 11:42:57 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: VMac

I notice that a lot of the people that join this communityare either not truthful, or will not commit to their wants and needs as they have determined in their profiles and blogs, and i don't understand why. We here are supposed to be grown-ups with desires that have not, cannot and will not be met with by any other means than to join a community such as this.

This is a lifestyle and once you have recognized that, then you must give yourself a chance to fully explore what is offered. If you have truly engulfed your headspace in the life, and are not satisfied then at that time move on, but let the person know that you didn't find what it is you were looking for with them and say "i am moving on, or something".

We are mature people, at least that is the way i look at it and the way i would expect things to be handles.

Bless your heart.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to VMac)

Post #: 4

RE: Why aren't the people of this community honest and ... - 11/12/2010 11:48:08 AM

Aylee

Posts: 24103
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: VMac

I notice that a lot of the people that join this communityare either not truthful, or will not commit to their wants and needs as they have determined in their profiles and blogs, and i don't understand why. We here are supposed to be grown-ups with desires that have not, cannot and will not be met with by any other means than to join a community such as this.

This is a lifestyle and once you have recognized that, then you must give yourself a chance to fully explore what is offered. If you have truly engulfed your headspace in the life, and are not satisfied then at that time move on, but let the person know that you didn't find what it is you were looking for with them and say "i am moving on, or something".

We are mature people, at least that is the way i look at it and the way i would expect things to be handles.

Seriously, your profile says that you are 54, but you sound more like a 16 - 23 year old.

BTW, most of us our grown-ups with a multitude of responsibilities. Some are more serious than others. One has to be able to mesh all of the responsibilities and needs togeather.

So relax.

_____________________________

Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam

I don’t always wgah’nagl fhtagn. But when I do, I ph’nglui mglw’nafh R’lyeh.

(in reply to VMac)

Post #: 5

RE: Why aren't the people of this community honest and ... - 11/12/2010 11:48:40 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

Why are so many people in this *ahem* lifestyle and *cough* community convinced that somehow, everyone is magically supposed to be somehow MORE than just people, without the quirks and failings of people outside of the so called lifestyle/community?

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 6

RE: Why aren't the people of this community honest and ... - 11/12/2010 11:50:21 AM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

This is the way things are in the world in general...not just here. We're all looking for whatever floats our boat. It would be nice sometimes if what we wanted matched up with everyone else but it doesn't happen that way.

When I was looking it was frustrating to have men just disappear on me when I thought there was interest there but it saved me pain in the long run as they showed what they were about right away. Great. I always tell people myself if I'm backing out at some point but I've learned not to expect the same consideration - that's just how it goes.

(in reply to VMac)

Post #: 7

RE: Why aren't the people of this community honest and ... - 11/12/2010 11:55:52 AM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

It's a sucking and swallowing problem. Seriously. Some people suck and we can't swallow it. Life is really fucked up and people suck sometimes. What are you going to do? It's life, it can suck, you don't have to swallow and can move on. Stop choking on the small time shit and get on with life.

Do keep in mind that family isn't always a good thing and being a community kind of sounds like family to me and with the family season upon us... and that remembrance... do we really want to be attached at the hip? I sure don't!

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to lizi)

Post #: 8

RE: Why aren't the people of this community honest and ... - 11/12/2010 12:12:40 PM

Tantriqu

Posts: 2026
Joined: 12/29/2006
Status: offline

Welcome to the internets!
Let's give an example of internet truthiness:

Discreet = married
Casual = married
Some evening or weekends = married
Bi-curious = married AND contagious
Unsure = married
Separated = married
Experiment = married
Switch = married
No strings attached = married
Leaving answer blank re: 'single' = married

There ya go!

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 9

RE: Why aren't the people of this community honest and ... - 11/12/2010 12:53:15 PM

TotalDiscipline

Posts: 225
Joined: 5/5/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tantriqu

Welcome to the internets!
Let's give an example of internet truthiness:

Discreet = married
Casual = married
Some evening or weekends = married
Bi-curious = married AND contagious
Unsure = married
Separated = married
Experiment = married
Switch = married
No strings attached = married
Leaving answer blank re: 'single' = married

There ya go!

you missed "horny"

(in reply to Tantriqu)

Post #: 10

RE: Why aren't the people of this community honest and ... - 11/12/2010 12:56:02 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: VMac

I notice that a lot of the people that join this communityare either not truthful, or will not commit to their wants and needs as they have determined in their profiles and blogs, and i don't understand why.

Which community? Would you by any chance be meaning this message board? Two different things to Me.

quote:

We here are supposed to be grown-ups with desires that have not, cannot and will not be met with by any other means than to join a community such as this.

I can promise you that the desires that I have in My life are fulfilled without CM. I could pull out of public play, munches, or any other sort of community event and still be getting My groove on.

quote:

This is a lifestyle and once you have recognized that, then you must give yourself a chance to fully explore what is offered.

No, I don't and neither does anyone else. For example, I have no desire to experience submission and I'm willing to be that there are submissives out there who have no desire to experience Dominance. There are some people out there that I wouldn't want to be involved with even though they happen to be submissive and I happen to be a Domme. Just because something, or better yet someone is being offered, that doesn't mean a person has to be interested.

quote:

If you have truly engulfed your headspace in the life, and are not satisfied then at that time move on, but let the person know that you didn't find what it is you were looking for with them and say "i am moving on, or something".

I'll take option C. Do what's best that works for you.

quote:

We are mature people, at least that is the way i look at it and the way i would expect things to be handles.

Cool. That works for you. Understand that other methods work better for other people.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to VMac)

Post #: 11

RE: Why aren't the people of this community honest and ... - 11/12/2010 2:43:59 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

You know, I went to the grocery store last week, that's a community made up of a changing population with one thing in common. How come when I asked the cashier how she was doing, she wasn't truthful?

Because being in the same place at the same time with very little commonality and no friendship doesn't entitle you to anything.

If I want to say I live in Antarctica and am 99 years old, that's not lying. It's a privacy screen to which I am entitled. Some guy I don't know from Adam who sends me naked pictures of his limp dick doesn't merit a truthful answer. Nor does anyone else unless I have already established a friendship with them. And here, such friendships are established via the message boards.

If you're not my friend, I don't owe you anything. Anymore than I owe the guy standing next to my on the subway anything.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 12

RE: Why aren't the people of this community honest and ... - 11/12/2010 2:46:03 PM

anniezz338

Posts: 1183
Joined: 8/17/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

Simply put..because the community is made of up humans. Pick a reason and you could probably find 100,000 that would fit very well with it.

Sums it up :)

(in reply to Icarys)

Post #: 13

RE: Why aren't the people of this community honest and ... - 11/12/2010 2:50:36 PM

BKSir

Posts: 4037
Joined: 4/8/2008
From: Salt Lake City, UT
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

If I want to say I live in Antarctica and am 99 years old, that's not lying. It's a privacy screen to which I am entitled.

Wait... You're not? Damnit! I'm into centigenarian penguins and was planning on stalking you starting next year. :( You just ruined my whole damned weekend. Thanks a lot.

_____________________________

We'll begin with a spin, traveling in a world of my creation. What we'll see will defy explanation.

I am the voices in your head.

BiggKatt Studios

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 14

RE: Why aren't the people of this community honest and ... - 11/12/2010 3:00:57 PM

WinsomeDefiance

Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BKSir

...I'm into centigenarian penguins ....

Just when I think I've seen, heard and done it all - someone mentions centigenerian penguins as a kink...

(in reply to BKSir)

Post #: 15

RE: Why aren't the people of this community honest and ... - 11/12/2010 3:45:15 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

so you're 50something years old and this is the FIRST time in all your life that you've ever run into this with human beings?? Woooww.....

bdsm and some so called community that you call it isn't special, is not any better or anything else that you want to fantasize it to be. People here are people like anywhere else.

If this really IS the first time you've ever experienced this in life I suggest you get out and experience the world a little more.

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)

Post #: 16

RE: Why aren't the people of this community honest and ... - 11/12/2010 3:54:50 PM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tantriqu

Welcome to the internets!
Let's give an example of internet truthiness:

Discreet = married
Casual = married
Some evening or weekends = married
Bi-curious = married AND contagious
Unsure = married
Separated = married
Experiment = married
Switch = married
No strings attached = married
Leaving answer blank re: 'single' = married

There ya go!

That reminds me of a list that I saw once about how to interpret lonely hearts adverts by women:

Cuddly=fat
Large = fat
Curvaceous=fat
Full-figured = fat
Well-rounded=fat
Womanly= fat
Sumptuously Proportioned=fat
Classically Built = fat
Rubenesque = fat

Fat= not model-skinny; just about right for a male's tastes.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to Tantriqu)

Post #: 17

RE: Why aren't the people of this community honest and ... - 11/12/2010 7:53:02 PM

NakedSenses

Posts: 35
Joined: 7/26/2010
Status: offline

Being dishonest is here, there, and everywhere.
Integrity no longer has any social value, hence why waste any effort on it?

I'm just telling the truth - as I always have, and I always will.
Even if it is, ultimately, pointless.

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Post #: 18

RE: Why aren't the people of this community honest and ... - 11/12/2010 8:08:27 PM

hausboy

Posts: 2360
Joined: 9/5/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

That reminds me of a list that I saw once about how to interpret lonely hearts adverts by women:

Cuddly=fat
Large = fat
Curvaceous=fat
Full-figured = fat
Well-rounded=fat
Womanly= fat
Sumptuously Proportioned=fat
Classically Built = fat
Rubenesque = fat

Fat= not model-skinny; just about right for a male's tastes.

And I quote the immortal Freddie Mercury from Queen:
"Fat Bottom Girls You make the rockin' world go round...."
sorry for the hijack.

Personally--I truly believe that the internet RUINED the leather/BDSM community. It used to be, if you were a coward, you stayed away from the dungeons--and if you were ignorant enough to try to fuck with a good person's reputation, head or anything else--you paid dearly. Now the cowards hide behind computer screens, don't care if they post crap about others, and they use their anonymity as an excuse to behave poorly towards others.

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Post #: 19

RE: Why aren't the people of this community honest and ... - 11/12/2010 8:20:45 PM

StrongSpirit

Posts: 575
Joined: 4/10/2005
Status: offline

In my experience there are five types of people here. Only one class never comes off as flaky. In order of my personal estimates of commonness.

1. Scammers that are here because it is free to create an account, and there are just enough stupid people in the world to actually fall for their crap. My personal favorite are blond women that claim to be "Native American". They are clearly flaky, 100% of the time.

2. Normal BDSM people, who usually hook up fairly quickly. Not flaky.

3. Newebies/testers/unsure. These are people that have never actually done anything in real life -yet. Some of them will never do so more than once (if that.) Either they are afraid or they discover they really don't enjoy it in real life. But others eventually 'graduate' into other categories. Often these people take a long time to progress and even back out. More 'flaky' people - about 50%

4. People with serious attractiveness issues. Whether they are overweight women short men, poor men, rude, or just plain socially awkward. Some of them are flaky - say about 40%. (Hint, if you whine/complain about anything in your profile - as opposed to simply stating "no x", you are almost certainly socially awkward to some degree. It's your advertisement, not your therapy session.)

5. Women with overly specific desires/rare kinks. Frankly, given the numbers here, women have to be very picky not to find someone they are interested in. If they are not very clear in their profile, they also come off as flaky. This doesn't happen with men, because they quickly realize that no they can't specify the race, height, weight, age, income, and get ANY woman, let alone one that likes their same kink, so usually this is only woman. Women on the otherhand fool themselves by seeing how many men reply, without realizing that most are unsuitable.

< Message edited by StrongSpirit -- 11/12/2010 8:21:05 PM >

(in reply to NakedSenses)

Post #: 20

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