RE: Male Dominant Tributes

RE: Male Dominant Tributes (Full Version)

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darq -> RE: Male Dominant Tributes (4/29/2006 4:09:53 PM)
EFG what is it with you trying to say I'm backpedaling? Is it not enough that I told you I was finished discussing this with you on the other thread? Now you've got to bring the same question here as well? I'm not taking the bait ... Because, really, it doesn't matter that much.

OnyxGoddess -> RE: Male Dominant Tributes (4/29/2006 7:41:55 PM)
Mistress Lina you do have a vaild point. If a person is a BDSM PROFESSIONAL of any kind their business is bdsm. Just as a secretary wants to get paid for her typing skills if a BDSM PRO has a bdsm skill that another wants and is willing to "pay" for it in whatever form or fashion why does it get under anyone else's skin? If you're not coughin up the bill sit back and tend to your own fetish. *Oh-and yeah um...back pedaling.....deedely deedely deedely doo.*

LRODANDMASTER -> RE: Male Dominant Tributes (4/29/2006 7:45:38 PM)
OK LIKE ANY1 WHO WNATS TO PAY ME TRIBUNE YOUR WELCOME TO DO IT JUST PAYPAL ME AND LIKE EMAIL ME ON THE TOHER SIDE TO GET MY PAYPAL ADDRES.

QuietDom -> RE: Male Dominant Tributes (4/30/2006 6:04:38 AM)
I can see the people lining up already...

NINASHARP -> RE: Male Dominant Tributes (4/30/2006 6:40:02 AM)
I have personally given / gave to both slaves and Masters. I've also helped out with finances. I've often picked up the meal check and bought toys for special slaves for their own personal use, and even bought toys for my personal use on whom I want to share them with. <gasp> I have even sent flowers to the Mistress who help train me. When ever I am invited to anyones home or I bring them something, even if its homemade desert. I'm a born giver, and volunteered all my life when I can't contribute financially. I've also given my last dollar to those with a sign on a bucket outside the super market. But hey, I've never turned down a gift given in sincerity either. I like to think that most people vanilla or s/m/d/s, like to give and receive gifts of any kind. Until then, Ms NINA

Level -> RE: Male Dominant Tributes (4/30/2006 7:58:23 AM)
Gifts are wonderful. Expressions of love, caring, appreciation. I think the tribute some have an issue with is when one says the tribute (usually meaning money, but not always) is "mandatory" in order to play.

feastie -> RE: Male Dominant Tributes (4/30/2006 8:35:26 AM)
A gift is from the heart and is sincere. It's an expression of one's feelings for and about another person. It is never demanded, never a payment and it is never mandatory. Tributes are the con of greedy persons who take advantage of those incapable of understanding the difference.

puella -> RE: Male Dominant Tributes (4/30/2006 9:53:31 AM)
Gift- Something that is bestowed voluntarily and without compensation. Tribute- 1: something given or done as an expression of esteem 2: payment by one nation for protection by another 3: payment extorted by gangsters on threat of violence; "every store in the neighborhood had to pay him protection" Contribution- Any one of a number of individual efforts in a common endeavor I am putting these definitions of the words which have been used in responses to this (and the other on the Mistress Board) post… just to clarify what we are actually working with here. I really do not know why the whole ‘Tribute’ concept fucks me off so, but it does. Perhaps it is because of the misuse of the word tribute… One does not ask for, and certainly one does not DEMAND a tribute. That is not a tribute, that is a fee or an expectation or an extortion (which word applies I suppose depends upon the persons involved). If you are a pro-Domme (I have no problem with ProDom/mes)… you demand a fee for service, not a tribute. A tribute is voluntary and more often than not, merit based donation (not exclusively monetary). So.. by demanding a ‘tribute’ in your profile, before the person even knows you… nullifies the merit idea. So is it then that these Dom/mes are really just looking for a contribution within their relationships? I really don’t think so.. Every responsible and able bodied adult should certainly ante up their share in a relationship. Again, this is not only monetary. Sometimes, it makes more sense for one partner to stay home and take care of the children and household needs, rather than get a job that my not pay as much as what it would cost otherwise to have those needs met, etc. In a relationship of any kind, both partners have to ‘contribute’ to the relationship. That is just common sense. It is also not what most of these people are talking about when they demand ‘tributes’. There is also the point that a tribute and a contribution are two totally different things. Is it a gift? Well… no… again, by demanding a gift, you nullify it being just that. A gift is not given at a demand, that is a payment, fee, demand or some sort of extortion. The concept of ‘demanding tribute’, beyond being an oxymoronic statement, also changes the dynamic. To demand payment for interaction between relationship partners, jerks you out of a relationship and into a pecuniary transaction. So stop saying you are looking for a relationship for gods sake and just fess up.. You want money/things and you are willing to sell the appearance of a BDSM relationship, in whatever form, for a period of time, based upon the amount the purchaser is willing to pay… I suppose you could also include some sort of bartering into this equation as it I am sure many would be willing to forgo a check for toys, cars, furs, or what ever floats your boat and meets your specifications and needs within the transaction. That’s my two cents… and it’s not a tribute.. it’s a donation!

MG -> RE: Male Dominant Tributes (4/30/2006 10:06:33 AM)
I accept (and expect them from some) tributes from those I play with. It costs me considerable sums to maintain my dungeons. As well as providing dungeon furniture there are the cleaning costs of furniture and toys and the costs of disposables such as rubber gloves , needles, condoms for insertables etc. Tributes can be financial or non financial. MG

puella -> RE: Male Dominant Tributes (4/30/2006 10:13:25 AM)
And yet, the dungeon is yours... your choice to have, yours to keep, along with it's contents.... Why should others pay for something you decided you want? If you can not afford something you want for yourself, how responsible is it to expect others to pay for your playthings (the fact that your plaything requires others for you to utilize it really is immaterial, you knew, I am assuming, going in that it would be little fun looking at wracks and tossing whips about in a room with no one but yourself in it)? Just a thought..

EbonyFtshGoddess -> RE: Male Dominant Tributes (4/30/2006 2:42:45 PM)
quote: I'm not taking the bait ... Because, really, it doesn't matter that much. yes dear

feastie -> RE: Male Dominant Tributes (4/30/2006 2:50:37 PM)
Your dungeon, your costs. You wanted it, built it, yours to maintain. That's rather like inviting people over to watch a movie or whatever, and charging them to do so.

OnyxGoddess -> RE: Male Dominant Tributes (4/30/2006 2:59:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: puella And yet, the dungeon is yours... your choice to have, yours to keep, along with it's contents.... Why should others pay for something you decided you want? If you can not afford something you want for yourself, how responsible is it to expect others to pay for your playthings (the fact that your plaything requires others for you to utilize it really is immaterial, you knew, I am assuming, going in that it would be little fun looking at wracks and tossing whips about in a room with no one but yourself in it)? Just a thought.. I have no dungeon because my home is also the home of my children and it is OFF LIMITS. I go to them. And because I go to them if there is something specific THEY WANT that I am going to use on THEM then YES I tell them for sanitation purposes they need to provide the device they wish to have used on them (cbt stuff/strap ons...etc.) If it is a specific outfit or shoe and I don't have it...well it's feeding their fantasy so let's split it. Again...if a person calls themself a PRO you're paying for thier skills. But regardless of the why's .....why do we keep thinking and talking as though MONEY is the only tribute?

puella -> RE: Male Dominant Tributes (4/30/2006 3:04:51 PM)
A professional dungeon is not the same as a man building one for himself in his home and then charging his submissives to be used in it.... We are not just speaking of money, of course, though ... "it costs me considerable sums to maintain my dungeon" does rather imply that he is charging people money when he plays with them there. I must concur with feastie.... I love to cook, and buy many an expensive gadget to produce excellent quality food.... I do not charge my dinner guests for them.

OnyxGoddess -> RE: Male Dominant Tributes (4/30/2006 3:14:21 PM)
LOL....so true! But i think the point tho is to ascertain from the start what kind of dom/me you want. If you want to pay cashola-kudos. shiny shoes or latex skirts-goodie. it's really all between the dom/me and the person who seeks them out. *-I'm gonna sit back and just watch on this topic now.*

littlechameleon -> RE: Male Dominant Tributes (4/30/2006 5:09:01 PM)
Unless you are a professional Dominant or Domme - i simply don't understand tributes or their purpose and would welcome any post meant to enlighten me. I would also like to say, in the days of my Grandparents - men went to work while women stayed home taking care of the house, the kids and their men. No one called them free loaders or opportunists. No, this simply isn't practical in this day and age but it doesn't make believing this the right way - wrong. In my ideal world, i'm home - serving my Master as he sees fit, i'm cleaning, doing laundry - I'm barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen. When did wanting to be a girl go out of style? Nevermind, i already know - when woman decided they preferred being men and many men used it as an excuse to become lazy and decided the truly traditional roles were too much work, anyway. Yes, i do work. Yes, i pay my own bills. Does my Master help me financially? Yes. Why? Because he cares for me, because he can and because he chooses to. I guess it's about compatibility. Personally, any man who is able to work but chooses to sit around all day, watching soap operas and thinking about how fabulous they are - is not, in my eyes, the epitome of strength. Again, that's just my opinion. If it works for his slave - to each their own.

Slavebinder -> RE: Male Dominant Tributes (5/7/2006 8:20:17 AM)
I think where Dommes are concerned they like to be treated in more ways than just a Domme (Maybe it goes back to the courtship thing). As much as I hate to say it, I only usually see this with 'professional' Dommes who like to receive presents from rich businessmen who visit them. I've never known a real Domme who thinks that way myself. As for being a Dom, I don't want my submissive to buy me presents. The best tribute a submissive can give me is just that - her submission and obedience.

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