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Any Biologists In the House? - 11/14/2010 10:40:41 AM

PeonForHer

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Here's something I've always wondered: Why have creatures evolved such that their sexual organs are right slap next to their excretory organs? I mean, I hear that everything's down to the selfish gene. The selfish gene, you'd expect, would arrange the safest way for the sperm and egg to meet up and 'get romantic' over a candlelit dinner. Instead, they can only rendezvous by, as it were, travelling through, or right past, the 'sewerage works'. Surely this is a bit of a balls-up on Nature's part?

[Yes, yes, I do fully realise I should get out more.]

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RE: Any Biologists In the House? - 11/14/2010 3:21:16 PM

PeonForHer

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Damnit, somebody must have some idea!

OK, here's my hypothesis. Bear in mind I stopped biology at age sixteen, so don't roast me for it.

It's to do with choosing the right sexual partner. Nature needs a way of making sure that you have either a strong impulse to zero in on a potential mate that you find attractive, or that you have a strong impulse to avoid a potential mate that you find unattractive. There must be as small a possibility of ambivalence as possible.

The genital area does that job. Think of the genitalia of someone you find attractive - phwoargh, yum, etc.. Think of the genitalia of someone you don't want to have sex with - utter disgust. You're going to think about the genitals of the latter in relation to excretion. Germs and nasty smells. Filth, in general. Whereas - the genitals of a person you find attractive - it's unimaginable that they'd be smelly.

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RE: Any Biologists In the House? - 11/14/2010 3:49:00 PM

Tantriqu

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Hi, Peon!

Here's my take on this:

First off, the anus is next to the vagina so newborns can take a GREAT BIG GULP of the good gut bacteria from mama as they start life in the great outdoors. So all the hypersterility and enemas of the 1930's-50's was wrong, wrong, wrong, and caused a lot of digestive problems in newborns.

Secondly, your tenderest bits and precious genetic material should be supremely well-protected. Best not to have them dangling off your elbow or bouncing around your forehead; easy to get 'em cut off in a melee. And all the girly parts to make and protect a fetus even moreso: identical to the manly parts except beautifully housed inside one of the strongest bonecages in the body, namely, the pelvis.

Thirdly, you need to have your testicular temperature cooled to enhance spermatogenesis, so once you're old enough to produce sperm, the boys should be out in their parachute, bouncing up and down. Love to make them move!

Fourthly, I always thought it was a shame the clitoris was tucked so far away from the vagina: until I realised evolutionarily a BABY'S FREAKIN' HEAD comes down and would TEAR my beautiful female penis into smithereenies. So I'm fine with that now :-)
There was a neat science fiction series called Alien Nation about an alien race: recreational sex employed a completely different set of orifices compared to generative sex; the female carried the embryo which was later transferred to the male, who carried the fetus to term and gave birth through his 'umbilicus'. Nifty!

And Fifthly, alllll those beautiful nerve endings cozy up together, and strap-ons can introduce a good man to a whole new world!

And yes, the sexual partners to whom I am most intellectually and emotionally compatible have absolutely NO smell to me, even though I adore the cumin-y smell of an honestly sweaty man.
Evolution and genetics are amazing!

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RE: Any Biologists In the House? - 11/14/2010 4:04:06 PM

PeonForHer

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Ah Tantriqu - yes, yes! I hadn't thought of those things. Apparently, the strongest muscles in a human's body are his/her buttock muscles. Placing the genitals dead-centre of the body, surrounded by the strongest muscles, makes them well-protected from injury or attack. I think you're right, too, about the position of the clitoris. It has to be kept out of the way of that there baby's head.

And, yes: it makes sense that a newborn baby would need an intensive dose of germs for its immune system to begin practising upon. I've even read that we adults might have that urge to kiss and slobber over babies precisely so that said baby will pick up germs that'll help exercise its immune system.

Gawd - whatever it is - it's so clever, isn't it?

I did see Alien Nation. Heh. Fascinating. I'd love to see how alien creatures are put together, physically.

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RE: Any Biologists In the House? - 11/14/2010 4:45:20 PM

pahunkboy

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Why would you ask?

Like you want to improve the lay out?

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RE: Any Biologists In the House? - 11/14/2010 7:37:10 PM

Tantriqu

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Gawd - whatever it is - it's so clever, isn't it?

Yes, it's simply amazing, and yes, there is a logical answer for so many seemingly weird thangs about these incredible machines we inhabit.
Insides are much more beautiful and clever than outsides!
Hooray for people who wonder and ponder and ask!

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