CaringandReal
Posts: 1397
Joined: 2/15/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: IsaNova
What can one do to live a submissive or servile life when you are on your own, in preparation for the day Tops, Dominants or the like enter your life? How do you live a life that would be attractive to Them?
Let's see... My answers have more to do with what makes me feel the way I want to feel. Different dominants are attracted to different things, and knowing my luck, I'd learn to play the tuba because some hot dom online liked it only to find out the master I end up with abhores tubas, except as cruel bondage devices.
Sometimes I make myself do hard things, things I really don't want to do. I force myself to be brave when I am scared. I keep my affairs in good order. Sometimes I try to enforce a routine on myself (I often fail at that, it's hard without outside reinforcement--but occasionally one sticks). I observe when the routines fail and try to learn from that. When I clean my house I think about how much more wonderful it will feel when I'm cleaning my master's or mistress's house. I keep my sexual interest alive (it tends to shut down when there is nobody around me who is compatible) with books, movies, internet media I enjoy, stories sites, and the like). I watch the way I treat my cat and I imagine (quite realistically I think) that someone may be treating me this way someday. I write things, fiction or non-fiction, sometimes intended for an audience, sometimes not, that turn me on. It's fun to arouse yourself with something you write. :)
I'm deferrential to other people, modest, don't toot my own horn, back down a lot, etc.. But that's not something I try to do, it's just SOP for me, and a bit dysfunctional without a context. But I am just not brazen or even bold, socially. So I put up with people walking all over me or taking me for granted. Perhaps it's good practice for the future, but I don't recommend it unless you're stuck with with this personality style, it's not very gratifying in a non-power-exchange situation. :/ Very occasionally I run into someone who is more defferential than myself. I try to be very easy/gentle with them, even though it's clear a flea (cough) could dominate them, because I know firsthand how others usually treat pushovers.
Here's a kind of silly one: I practice on virtual worlds to be the sort of slave I want to be in real life. I don't go seeking someone in those worlds to enslave me, but I try changing my appearance to a sexier or more submissive one than I wear in normal, practical, geeky life or I change my surroundings. Sometimes I'll dress in a very hot style, don some sexy dance animations, and go to an online dance club, for example. They have styles in virtual worlds that haven't caught on in real life yet (or if they have I just don't shop at the right places ;) ) like these cute little glass bead "buttlaces" you wear above your ass crack with a pair of apple-bottomed jeans and boots with the fur (with the fur!)... er, sorry, where was I? The little beads jiggle and move in and out of the top of your crack as you walk. (In real life they'd probably get stuck in your crack, but not in lovely VR!) You are a cartoon avatar so you care less about what people may think of this, but it's still a bit humiliating, especially if someone comments...or follows your 'toon around--directly behind it. :/ Sometimes I'll dress like a character in one of my fantasies, a French schoolgirl for instance. I have a terrific French schoolgirl outfit. Very "Romana in City of Death"-like. And I go to the online Paris sims and walk around the Champs Elysees in it, lol. So far, I haven't run into Dr. Who, alas. :( Or maybe I'll find some very inspiring place, like this huge crystaline gothic cathedral in the sky or a realistic outer space park where you can float slowly, kubrik-style, among the asteroids and planets. Such places, if they're well imagined and constructed (and have good music), can make me feel slavelike just being in them. But I don't like the Scene so I try to stay away from the bdsm areas of virtual worlds. Still, there are many nice things in virtual worlds that can make you feel more submissive. :) And I've noticed that my VR fashion interest is starting to bleed over into real life. I'm actually starting to pay attention to clothes again, something I haven't done in a very long time. I'm able to pick out real-life clothes better becasue I recognize fabrics, colors, styles, and cuts from my VR experiences. Unfortunately, the styles I find I prefer in VR (highly imaginative haute couture cocktail dresses or ballroom gowns) don't work too well in a grungy geek work environment. And then there's this little issue of cost. (Oh, but the other day I wandered into a femdom space because a friend of mine was there, and I saw an online sub guy put a cardboard box over his head!--he got a lot of attention for it too! :D That would be accepted without a glance where I work, they probably wouldn't even notice the difference. :/ )
But mostly I focus on the practical stuff: the minute details: "Wouldn't I wipe that cuboard down if I knew my master would be stepping into the kitchen and see the dirt around the handle if he opened it?" And pushing myself, just a little, every day if possible, so I'll be a little used to the experience when someone else starts pushing me around.
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"A friend who bleeds is better" --placebo
"How seldom we recognize the sound when the bolt of our fate slides home." --thomas harris
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RE: How do you work on improving yourself outside of a ... - 
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