Funniest Email?? (Full Version)

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JerseyKrissi72 -> Funniest Email?? (11/15/2010 12:56:07 AM)

                 As the days roll by one message on Collarme after another..what is the funniest/ strangest thing anyone ever asked you in an email here? At the top of my list is:

"can you breed?"
"where is Jersey located?" [&:]




VaguelyCurious -> RE: Funniest Email?? (11/15/2010 6:17:00 AM)

I got 'why won't my plane fly to London?!?!?!?!?!' totally out of the blue from a random American domme during the volcanic eruption.



MysticFireTopaz -> RE: Funniest Email?? (11/15/2010 5:18:44 PM)

I get hilarious e-mails on here on almost a daily basis.

One of the funniest ones was from a guy (total stranger, first message) on either Labor Day or Fourth of July, I can't remember.  Anyway, he said, "Since you probably have the day off, do you want to come over now and do me with your strap-on?"  This was at 10:00 A.M.

Another guy offered to buy me a pair of shoes if I would publicly humiliate him in a shoe store in front of the employees and other customers while he was wearing pantyhose under a pair of shorts. 

I got an obvious form letter that said "I was enchanted by your profile and captivated by your beautiful photo."  I wrote back and asked him what profile he had been looking at, since my profile on the other side doesn't even have a photo.

The people on here keep me in stitches.



littlewonder -> RE: Funniest Email?? (11/15/2010 5:26:31 PM)

"I really like what you had to say in your profile".....when I had a completely blank profile.

"Do you own a raincoat?" ....he had a fetish for women in rubber raincoats.

"do you k9?"......yeah, not even going there.

I have had all kinds of strange/funny emails over the many years.



DarkSteven -> RE: Funniest Email?? (11/15/2010 6:13:44 PM)

One woman sent me a message that said that she looked at my pic and it looked like I was fighting my cell phone and losing.  [:D]



Tantriqu -> RE: Funniest Email?? (11/15/2010 6:31:33 PM)


So, among other things, I require prospective subs to be local, straight and single:

THis week:

From a guy pretending to be local i.e., in my province:
'Where is Ottawa?'
You mean, the capital of Canada?

one-line message:
'bitch your getting a spnking my dick shall spank your face'
It's not so much the b-word, the s-word or the d-word, but Christ on a cracker, does no one understand contractions any more? you're, not 'your'. Dumb ass.

And
'Oooh, yes, Mistress, completely straight' messages from guys with profile pictures showing them sucking dick.


But my favourite this week: 'Oh, Mistress, you have such beautiful eyes':
My photo is of ma belle poitrine only: my eyes are UP HERE!!

There ya go!







MysticFireTopaz -> RE: Funniest Email?? (11/16/2010 12:25:43 AM)

Oh, and then there's the guy who wants to get on cam, strip naked, piss into a glass, and have me watch him drink it for my amusement.  Hadn't heard from him in a while, but got a message from him tonight.  I hear he makes the rounds.  Like I said, hardly a day goes by that I don't get an odd or funny message on here.



poise -> RE: Funniest Email?? (11/16/2010 7:21:01 AM)

I recently received an email from a dominant man asking
"To bequeath or not to bequeath, that is the question".
I answered with an emphatic "Yes! Two scoops please"! 
He has yet to deliver. Hrmph! [:-]



tazzygirl -> RE: Funniest Email?? (11/16/2010 7:23:54 AM)

May not be the funniest, but it damn sure got me laughing.

"Do you own a bp cuff"?



graceadieu -> RE: Funniest Email?? (12/9/2010 8:32:20 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

May not be the funniest, but it damn sure got me laughing.

"Do you own a bp cuff"?


I got that one, too! What's that about? Is it some kind of medical fetish thing to get your blood pressure taken? IIRC I asked the guy but he never wrote me back.



ShaharThorne -> RE: Funniest Email?? (12/10/2010 6:19:46 AM)

Got the bp guy once...I blocked the bastard.



Hillwilliam -> RE: Funniest Email?? (12/10/2010 6:39:56 AM)

I got one last week from a sub a couple of hundred miles away informing Me that I had unresolved anger issues because of a quote I had in My journal from 3 months ago.

It was a T shirt ffs.,



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