RESISTANCE/REBELLION

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BbcSlutKc -> RESISTANCE/REBELLION (11/19/2010 5:17:27 AM)
Am i the only one that just gets the urge(and lets it out) to be rebellious? sometimes for no apparent reason? It feels good at the time but almost as soon as i do it i feel very bad about and totally regret it. I wish so bad there was a button i could push that just made me stop and think before i spoke. I know in time this will go away but is there anyway to help speed it up? please someone tell me give me tips on how to control my rebellious ways...

anniezz338 -> RE: RESISTANCE/REBELLION (11/19/2010 6:28:19 AM)
I do get sassy but it seems to come out when things are light and relaxed, so most of it gets laughed off. Just a different terminology but same idea, I pick my fights carefully....lol. Most things boil down to being a habit. I basically turned my habit of saying fighting words and putting them into diplomatic form, or as much as I humanly can. Draw more bees with honey than vinegar. Good luck Edited: And I've found most things aren't worth the fighting it would bring. I let go alot of stuff.

BbcSlutKc -> RE: RESISTANCE/REBELLION (11/19/2010 6:35:42 AM)
FUNNY I SAID THAT SAME BEE QUOTE TO HIM ONE TIME BEING MY "SMART ASS SELF" AN THANK GOD HE DIDNT GET IT, LOL

phoenixmoonn13 -> RE: RESISTANCE/REBELLION (11/19/2010 6:39:52 AM)
cant help you i dont rebellious at all and if i do get irritable its with others never master however, if i get upset or have other negative type feelings i meditate and soon get into a right frame of mind.

DesFIP -> RE: RESISTANCE/REBELLION (11/19/2010 10:53:23 AM)
Tell him what you are feeling first, instead of after you act out. And figure out what good this is doing for you. Because you wouldn't be doing it if you weren't getting something from it. Do you feel small afterwards as though you've been put in your place? Then tell him you need to be put in your place before. Do you get taken down physically? Then tell him you need some sensation play. If what you get from this is him paying attention to you and not the video game, then if that's the only way you can get the attention you need, you will take it. Remember, bad breath is better than no breath at all.

Focus50 -> RE: RESISTANCE/REBELLION (11/19/2010 12:00:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BbcSlutKc Am i the only one that just gets the urge(and lets it out) to be rebellious? sometimes for no apparent reason? It feels good at the time but almost as soon as i do it i feel very bad about and totally regret it. I wish so bad there was a button i could push that just made me stop and think before i spoke. I know in time this will go away but is there anyway to help speed it up? please someone tell me give me tips on how to control my rebellious ways... Assuming you're currently involved in a D/s relationship, such behaviour amounts to acting out. You're subconsciously provoking a reaction from your dom to take control. It's a problem of his making, not yours - and you both need to discuss it. It's not really up to a sub to control their "rebellious ways" - it's for the Dom/me to take control. Subs generally only act out when they're not in a happy place. If you were comfortable with the control he has over you, you wouldn't be testing it through acting out - cause and consequence. Focus.

porcelaine -> RE: RESISTANCE/REBELLION (11/19/2010 2:54:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BbcSlutKc Am i the only one that just gets the urge(and lets it out) to be rebellious? sometimes for no apparent reason? It feels good at the time but almost as soon as i do it i feel very bad about and totally regret it. I wish so bad there was a button i could push that just made me stop and think before i spoke. I know in time this will go away but is there anyway to help speed it up? please someone tell me give me tips on how to control my rebellious ways... Greetings BbcSlutKc, Feeding the notions mentioned much like engaging in endless moments of what if conversations and other lines of thinking that remove you from the present and introduce behavior that is contradictory serves no purpose in my mind. Acting contrary to the standard and expectation that He's placed before me wouldn't provide any entertainment or emotional fulfillment unless I was operating from a different mindset that wasn't wholly committed to and focused on the relationship and our respective positions within it. In short, how could I begin to delight in doing something that will only bring me strife, hardship, correction, or His disappointment? I have a hard time reconciling the up side to that proposal. There comes a time when you move in a certain way not because you're told to do so or because the other Person is watching, but simply because it's the embodiment of who you are. Namaste, ~porcelaine

barelynangel -> RE: RESISTANCE/REBELLION (11/19/2010 4:28:02 PM)
If he hasn't told you to stop, why are you worried about it. Many times in a M/s relationship, when you don't have people trying to second guess the Master, there are days when you may rebel against the restraints the relationship puts on you. You do at times need to feel around to see if you can still be free. I would imagine many men who understand mastering women would expect it. Why not let him deal with it and remove it from you at HIS pace and determination. Maybe he is enjoying the journey. Does it mean he doesn't get pissed off or irritated with you or that you somehow don't deal with the negative consequences? Nope, you do and he will. Be careful trying to determine what you should do or be as a slave based upon what others do. Many times it has to do with your personality, your reactions to him etc. When people speak of how they never do this or that that can be considered "bad" things by others, it makes me irritated because to me, not every man wants a woman who doesn't react or show her what some people call negative emotions. There are men who will train a woman not too, but there are just as many men who have no issue and will deal with it as he determines. To me, your OP, is you trying to determine what type of reaction he wants from you. LET HIM decide that. Let yourself go through what to me seems like a very natural phase of becoming a slave for many. By trying to cut short this phase and your reactions to his enslavement of you in this phase, you may be indirectly taking away part of the journey he enjoys. Not all men want slaves who hide their reactions from them unless they are only good reactions. Use this phase to get to know HIM, just as he is getting to know you. Your reactions even if they are negative are in fact allowing him to learn more about you, things you may not realize or know about yourself. When you fuck up or feel you did, take it to him. If you feel you need to apologize do so. But be careful trying to determine based on your own thinkings what he wants from his slave. My former master loved bringing out what many people would see as "negative" emotions. Why? Because in his mind they were very natural and he learned more about me during those times than my telling him how i felt. He wanted to see it, feel it and observe it because it allowed him to learn how to deal with me, how to deepen his mastery of me, and how he could take control of me on a very internal level. Talk to him, ask him how he sees it. He may surprise you. PLEASE whatever you do, don't come here to ask such questions, take it where it belongs with him. IN YOUR relationship. Your personality, his personality, and your connection, and more so his plans for you as his slave, is far different from anyone elses. If i had access to boards like this when i was becoming a slave to my Master, hell i would have ran as fast and far as i could because i am not calm, cool, and collected, i have a temper, i did get rebellious, i was not one to hold my feelings and emotions in -- good, bad, and ugly. He accepted me -- ALL of me, and used what i was the good, bad, and ugly to his advantage, his knowledge, his ability to take control of me to take me into a deep mastery wherein he did own all of me. He would have never been able to do that if i decided what he should or shouldn't see of me, the good, bad, or ugly. Good luck. angel

CaringandReal -> RE: RESISTANCE/REBELLION (11/19/2010 5:01:35 PM)
If you feel really bad about it, you could always beg him, sincerely, to punish you significantly for such behavior in the future, and tell him why you want that. If the punishment he doles out is really punishing to you, it will deter you from this behavior in the future. I did that a few times with my former master, because I could not bear the guilt I felt over acting out. He chose not to punish me. A part of me still wishes he had, but that was his choice. Lots of insights came out of our discussions about this, but they weren't that helpful in actually changing behavior. Other than that, well, deep regret and loss can bring about the kind of change you're asking for, but it sears those traits out of you, and I would not wish that level of pain upon anyone unless they were absolutely certain there was no other way. I don't think you're quite at that spot yet. ;) Plus, that level of regret often takes unusual life circumstances to engender. It's hard to engineer, although it probably could be done. One other thing I know of helps. Don't laugh... Hypnotism programs! Seriously. There are ones out there specifically for people in dom/sub or master/slave relationships--or who want such relationships. They do not hurt to do, the way deep regret does. They're rather pleasant, in fact. And they can bring about marked changes in behavior with time and repetition. But they do not work for everyone. You need to have a mimimum ability to focus or concentrate on them, to pay attention to them, and also a willingness to just drift off and just let them take you where they take you. Not everybody can do both things: concentrate and completely let go. Some people are too nervous or hyper or afraid of losing control. The first few times you do one it feels awkward and stupid, and like nothing is happening, but if you push beyond that point, keep doing them and just try to enjoy them, they sometimes start to work. The ones I know about don't address negative behavior. They don't say, "You will NOT be a major bitch to master any more!" Instead they suggest positive behaviors, such as, "You find yourself adoring your master, more and more, each day. You find yourself wanting to do things that make him smile. You want this so much because you are so deeply submissive to him, and it feels so good, etc." They just suggest little things, nothing too challenging or scary. The suggestions are soft and easy and fun to listen to. They make you feel really good about being submissive...and they are extremely insidious. :)

littlewonder -> RE: RESISTANCE/REBELLION (11/19/2010 5:40:12 PM)
No I never get the urge. I even find the very thought to be exhausting. I'm the type that when it comes to confrontations with anyone or anything in life I walk away or run and hide. I absolutely abhore it. It's much easier, simpler and much more satisfying to simply give myself to him and allow him to do whatever he wishes. I tend to find myself much happier that way.

CaringandReal -> RE: RESISTANCE/REBELLION (11/19/2010 11:25:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder No I never get the urge. I even find the very thought to be exhausting. I'm the type that when it comes to confrontations with anyone or anything in life I walk away or run and hide. I absolutely abhore it. It's much easier, simpler and much more satisfying to simply give myself to him and allow him to do whatever he wishes. I tend to find myself much happier that way. I hate confrontations too. I didn't used to be that way, but... people change. Was there ever a time, littlewonder, when your blood ran hotter? Perhaps a good thing to do at "bad girl" times such as the one described at the top of this thread would be to proclaim in sonorous tones, "Feeble mortal, cease to argue and rebel against what you ought to adore!" You might sound a little like a line from a bad sci-fi series, but still, in the right context, it might make you think. ;)

BbcSlutKc -> RE: RESISTANCE/REBELLION (11/20/2010 3:56:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Focus50 quote: ORIGINAL: BbcSlutKc Am i the only one that just gets the urge(and lets it out) to be rebellious? sometimes for no apparent reason? It feels good at the time but almost as soon as i do it i feel very bad about and totally regret it. I wish so bad there was a button i could push that just made me stop and think before i spoke. I know in time this will go away but is there anyway to help speed it up? please someone tell me give me tips on how to control my rebellious ways... Assuming you're currently involved in a D/s relationship, such behaviour amounts to acting out. You're subconsciously provoking a reaction from your dom to take control. It's a problem of his making, not yours - and you both need to discuss it. It's not really up to a sub to control their "rebellious ways" - it's for the Dom/me to take control. Subs generally only act out when they're not in a happy place. If you were comfortable with the control he has over you, you wouldn't be testing it through acting out - cause and consequence. Focus. thank u!

BbcSlutKc -> RE: RESISTANCE/REBELLION (11/20/2010 4:00:29 AM)
thank u! quote: ORIGINAL: barelynangel If he hasn't told you to stop, why are you worried about it. Many times in a M/s relationship, when you don't have people trying to second guess the Master, there are days when you may rebel against the restraints the relationship puts on you. You do at times need to feel around to see if you can still be free. I would imagine many men who understand mastering women would expect it. Why not let him deal with it and remove it from you at HIS pace and determination. Maybe he is enjoying the journey. Does it mean he doesn't get pissed off or irritated with you or that you somehow don't deal with the negative consequences? Nope, you do and he will. Be careful trying to determine what you should do or be as a slave based upon what others do. Many times it has to do with your personality, your reactions to him etc. When people speak of how they never do this or that that can be considered "bad" things by others, it makes me irritated because to me, not every man wants a woman who doesn't react or show her what some people call negative emotions. There are men who will train a woman not too, but there are just as many men who have no issue and will deal with it as he determines. To me, your OP, is you trying to determine what type of reaction he wants from you. LET HIM decide that. Let yourself go through what to me seems like a very natural phase of becoming a slave for many. By trying to cut short this phase and your reactions to his enslavement of you in this phase, you may be indirectly taking away part of the journey he enjoys. Not all men want slaves who hide their reactions from them unless they are only good reactions. Use this phase to get to know HIM, just as he is getting to know you. Your reactions even if they are negative are in fact allowing him to learn more about you, things you may not realize or know about yourself. When you fuck up or feel you did, take it to him. If you feel you need to apologize do so. But be careful trying to determine based on your own thinkings what he wants from his slave. My former master loved bringing out what many people would see as "negative" emotions. Why? Because in his mind they were very natural and he learned more about me during those times than my telling him how i felt. He wanted to see it, feel it and observe it because it allowed him to learn how to deal with me, how to deepen his mastery of me, and how he could take control of me on a very internal level. Talk to him, ask him how he sees it. He may surprise you. PLEASE whatever you do, don't come here to ask such questions, take it where it belongs with him. IN YOUR relationship. Your personality, his personality, and your connection, and more so his plans for you as his slave, is far different from anyone elses. If i had access to boards like this when i was becoming a slave to my Master, hell i would have ran as fast and far as i could because i am not calm, cool, and collected, i have a temper, i did get rebellious, i was not one to hold my feelings and emotions in -- good, bad, and ugly. He accepted me -- ALL of me, and used what i was the good, bad, and ugly to his advantage, his knowledge, his ability to take control of me to take me into a deep mastery wherein he did own all of me. He would have never been able to do that if i decided what he should or shouldn't see of me, the good, bad, or ugly. Good luck. angel

littlewonder -> RE: RESISTANCE/REBELLION (11/20/2010 8:03:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CaringandReal quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder No I never get the urge. I even find the very thought to be exhausting. I'm the type that when it comes to confrontations with anyone or anything in life I walk away or run and hide. I absolutely abhore it. It's much easier, simpler and much more satisfying to simply give myself to him and allow him to do whatever he wishes. I tend to find myself much happier that way. I hate confrontations too. I didn't used to be that way, but... people change. Was there ever a time, littlewonder, when your blood ran hotter? Perhaps a good thing to do at "bad girl" times such as the one described at the top of this thread would be to proclaim in sonorous tones, "Feeble mortal, cease to argue and rebel against what you ought to adore!" You might sound a little like a line from a bad sci-fi series, but still, in the right context, it might make you think. ;) To be honest, no. When I was young I was extremely shy. I grew up in a family that was always constantly in anger, violence and fighting. I learned early on to find someplace else to go to get away from it. I've always hated it. I never had any desire to get in the middle of it and always did absolutely everything in my power to stay away from it. I'm still like that today. When people start to pick a fight with me or want to even argue a point I sit down and shut up and won't even say another word. It's not worth my time and effort.

WolfyMontgomery -> RE: RESISTANCE/REBELLION (11/20/2010 3:46:33 PM)
Fast reply I can see tons of different sides for reasons of rebellion, being sassy, being a brat or a SAM, etc... Sometimes people aren't happy with the relationship, sometimes they need more structure, sometimes (especially in the beginnings) subs/slaves like to test the limits to see how far they can go or to be sure they will get punished for it, finding the boundaries of the relationship and suchlike. For me, it's none of those things, honestly. I rebel (if you can call it that lol) because I am content, and because there is a very specific feeling that one gets when they are being pushed back down, rather than the feeling merely enforcing that I am down already. I relish that feeling, and reach for it often, so that I can have my reaching hand smacked away and punished (funished?) for pushing. It makes me feel more his property than anything else, knowing that if I am disobedient he will act on it, just as one would a mischievous dog. And that feeling, I can't really begin to describe it, where you know you brought it upon yourself, but you wanted it to happen because you incited it, and you see that look in his face that tells you, "You pulled on the leash, and so I'm going to tug it back to put you in your place." If he just randomly tugged on the leash, it wouldn't be so effective, it wouldn't be the same headspace - in fact, it would probably just hurt and confuse me. And a leash being continuously tugged would just make my neck hurt (harhar). I have to earn that tug on the leash, so to speak. Master and I liken it to a dog chasing cars or a puppy fighting the parent for dominance - neither wants to succeed, but they both do it because they enjoy it. It's a game that I never want to win, because it's the act of playing the game that I enjoy, and winning the game would leave me with something that I wouldn't know what to do with and that I honestly don't want. Call it a competitive nature and I always want to lose. The dog chases cars because it relishes the chase - but what would it ever do with the big hunk of metal and rubber tires, honestly? Nothing, and so it doesn't catch it, just tries to, knowing that it won't, but enjoying the act of trying no less. Granted, I don't actually 'disobey' when I do these things, but rather pretend that I disobeyed - he asks for a whole sandwich. I make a whole and a half, one for myself (I have a smaller stomach) and one for him. When I present him the sandwich, I give him mine, "Oh, I get the big sandwich this time." He puts me in my place, he gets the big sandwich, I get to wait until he finishes to eat my own as punishment, and then I get to taste the sweet sweet reward of being beneath him and under him and pushed back down in my place. He enjoys my acting out almost as much as I do, if not more (I have yet to ask him, but that smirk he gets when I'm leaning over the line tells me that he enjoys what he does to me ;P), and so my 'punishments' aren't meant to stop my behavior, but actually to enforce it, so that I can then feel his control and ownership. Real rebellion or disobeying is disciplined, but I haven't had the urge to do anything beyond staged pranks for a good year or so now. I am extremely content in the relationship and dynamic that I live in now, play-rebellion and all.

CaringandReal -> RE: RESISTANCE/REBELLION (11/20/2010 5:14:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder No I never get the urge. I even find the very thought to be exhausting. I'm the type that when it comes to confrontations with anyone or anything in life I walk away or run and hide. I absolutely abhore it. It's much easier, simpler and much more satisfying to simply give myself to him and allow him to do whatever he wishes. I tend to find myself much happier that way. That's really interesting. You don't even get tempted to express annoyance when random people screw something up that you had an interest in or needed help with? Frustrating runaround with voicemail/customer service? Someone's dog ruining your garden? That sort of thing? Ok, I just saw you other message: " I grew up in a family that was always constantly in anger, violence and fighting. I learned early on to find someplace else to go to get away from it. I've always hated it. I never had any desire to get in the middle of it and always did absolutely everything in my power to stay away from it." Yeah, that might do it, all right. It makes sense.

littlewonder -> RE: RESISTANCE/REBELLION (11/20/2010 5:26:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CaringandReal quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder No I never get the urge. I even find the very thought to be exhausting. I'm the type that when it comes to confrontations with anyone or anything in life I walk away or run and hide. I absolutely abhore it. It's much easier, simpler and much more satisfying to simply give myself to him and allow him to do whatever he wishes. I tend to find myself much happier that way. That's really interesting. You don't even get tempted to express annoyance when random people screw something up that you had an interest in or needed help with? Frustrating runaround with voicemail/customer service? Someone's dog ruining your garden? That sort of thing? Ok, I just saw you other message: " I grew up in a family that was always constantly in anger, violence and fighting. I learned early on to find someplace else to go to get away from it. I've always hated it. I never had any desire to get in the middle of it and always did absolutely everything in my power to stay away from it." Yeah, that might do it, all right. It makes sense. Sure I get frustrated and annoyed but I never ever have any kind of interest at all to fight, yell, scream, argue. I bite my tongue and walk away. I remind myself that this too shall pass and it's not the end of the world.

Elisabella -> RE: RESISTANCE/REBELLION (11/20/2010 6:36:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BbcSlutKc Am i the only one that just gets the urge(and lets it out) to be rebellious? sometimes for no apparent reason? It feels good at the time but almost as soon as i do it i feel very bad about and totally regret it. I wish so bad there was a button i could push that just made me stop and think before i spoke. I know in time this will go away but is there anyway to help speed it up? please someone tell me give me tips on how to control my rebellious ways... Sounds like it's just in your personality, and those are hard to change. I'd recommend that you make your responses light hearted and witty instead of negative or critical, people usually forgive my snarkiness if I make them laugh. It's also possible you're more into power play than submissiveness, the whole challenge/resist thing is much more my style than the "yes sir" thing, I'm not a "yes sir" person at all.

CaringandReal -> RE: RESISTANCE/REBELLION (11/20/2010 9:27:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder Sure I get frustrated and annoyed but I never ever have any kind of interest at all to fight, yell, scream, argue. I bite my tongue and walk away. I remind myself that this too shall pass and it's not the end of the world. A good philosophy to practice! :) I wish I could do the same all the time. It's mostly damped down, life burned a lot of that need to express that fearsum temper out of me, but I've still got stray bits that pop out at unexpected times (shakes head laughing). Sometimes I think of my temper as potentially useful weapon: "Dear, we've got a bill collector on the phone, time for you to turn up the "juice" and scare the living pants off him, will you? That's an order, by the way." A shame it's so dangerous to leave loaded weapons lying around the house. Anyway, I'm reaching the age where getting mad is not great for my health, and I find telling myself that at a moment of heat helps contain the fires. The only reason I don't tell myself "this too shall pass" (a very useful way of looking at things) is because it reminds me of my first husband and his ring! :/ (long story)

agirl -> RE: RESISTANCE/REBELLION (11/21/2010 7:47:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BbcSlutKc Am i the only one that just gets the urge(and lets it out) to be rebellious? sometimes for no apparent reason? It feels good at the time but almost as soon as i do it i feel very bad about and totally regret it. I wish so bad there was a button i could push that just made me stop and think before i spoke. I know in time this will go away but is there anyway to help speed it up? please someone tell me give me tips on how to control my rebellious ways... You haven't really described what YOU mean by rebellious Do you say * No, I won't do that!?...... do you tell him to Shut-up? I'm not sure what you mean by it, really. How does your chap react when you behave this way? I KNOW why I'm revolting* as M puts it. It's rarely for * no apparent reason. I don't like being told what to do, never have done. He knows it , I know it........and life goes on. Just makes life a little uncomfortable for me now and then, that's all. It's never really entered my head to worry about it much or to control it. It's not as if it's going to go away nor has it affected the fact that he's the boss. He's never indicated that I should, either.We both think the same way This is me , what you get is what you see*.....and we've always taken it from there. If I revolt, he reacts. Simple, swift and short-lived, if dealt with effectively. agirl

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