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internal affairs - 4/28/2006 7:55:59 AM   
understud


Posts: 102
Joined: 4/12/2006
Status: offline
Why, why do i feel this way. really want to be clued in, even if i don't like the answers. As far as i can remember
i gave no thought that i was to obey, that was a given. That said from childhood on some people i obeyed willingly without even a thought as to not doing as they bide me. Others; especially my parents had their hands full. Why, if i am submissive by nature then why the difference in reactions to people...shouldn't a submissive be submissive.  i don't know. some people i have read here--- i feel that i would serve with unquestioned loyalty and devotion, others...well that i won't say, no joke this time. It bothers me. Am i even submissive then.  A lot of you have been here for a long time and maybe know, some may have even felt the same feelings just now surfacing inside of me.  i know i am not Dominate that i can feel in my heart. Then why would i show rebellion against some and not others... Its confusing contradictory and  causing me to question some beliefs i once thought as unchangeable. so why then, to me everything should be either/or...yes/no...black/white...i understand life is not like that yet there it is; and festering inside. Life is not an absolute; but all my life that is what i was taught to believe... German ancestry ,domineering mother and a disciplinarian father...obedience to authority even when you disagreed with it...but this is consensual so shouldn't i willing submit ...nothing to do with love or likes or dislikes...why do i choose to prefer one over the other... shouldn't a submissive just be happy to submit
 
 


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RE: internal affairs - 4/28/2006 8:11:25 AM   
rapture2778


Posts: 53
Joined: 4/25/2006
Status: offline 		just because you are a submissive to your partner doesn't mean that you are submissive to the world...i am very submissive to my Dom...and i have a submissive personality, but i do not submit to everyone (esp. every "Dom") i meet...

this may get me into trouble, but i will say this is why i don't think that submission is a gift...i don't choose who to submit to, my submission does....i will feel submissive towards one Dom and not the next, it doesn't mean that the Dom that i don't feel submissive towards is any "less" of a Dom it just means that i don't feel his "energy" so to say...above all you are human and you have human emotions...not all the emotions you feel will be "submissive" ones....hope this helps!

(in reply to understud)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: internal affairs - 4/28/2006 8:17:12 AM   
Reasonable


Posts: 459
Joined: 4/20/2006
Status: offline 		Friend, the answer lies more in your gut than your head.

Don't expect your reactions to always be rational ones. I have found submissives overall to be empathic in nature. And most really effective dominants are as well-why else do we feel things so strongly in each other's presence?

With some,what you feel will be right-your instincts are telling you-"this is worthy." With others,your gut will tell you-"This is wrong,I will end up being harmed."

Instinct seldom lies-it's an evolutionary survival benefit.

Whether you understand it or no-trust it-it's there for a reason.

(in reply to understud)
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RE: internal affairs - 4/28/2006 8:21:43 AM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		I have wondered that myself at times, but the best thing I can come up with is I am submissive to certain ones.  And there isn't any rational explanation.  I react very strongly to some doms and feel nothing in the presence of other ones.  I think Reasonable is correct.  It's instinct.

(in reply to Reasonable)
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RE: internal affairs - 4/28/2006 8:23:31 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I consider myself very submissive, to men I have that connection to, to anyone else I am not a submissive at all. I will even feel somewhat submissive to people I respect in a vanilla sense  and nonsexual way, if our relationship has the dynamic of deep respect and admiration on my part.

I do not think that anyone can feel submissive too ALL people that  think of themselves as dominate. If someone has ordered you to be submissive to them in some way and you do not have that dynamic, then if you are like me it angers you somewhat, or even amuses you at times. This society that we live in does not have any room for doormats, and it would be unhealthy for anyone to confuse being a doormat and the respect and admiration that a submissive feels toward a dominate.

As far as your parents go, perhaps deep down they did not inspire you to behave? Perhaps authoritarian rearing was not the way to gain your respect, admiration and your submission to their authority? My own parents were very lenient and the thought of disappointing them brought tears to my eyes. I do not know if I would have felt this way if they were "strict", and I do not seek a "strict" dom...

I also agree with rapture to some degree, your submissive nature will gravitate to dominates that inspire it.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to rapture2778)
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RE: internal affairs - 4/28/2006 9:14:44 AM   
CrappyDom


Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		Not just no but hell no.  Your inner self spots something that makes you react to someone, those reactions run the gamut of emotion from submission to defiance, from lust to revulsion, etc.

I am a dominant, but I don't desire to dominate every submissive I see.  There are submissives I would love to fuck that I wouldn't want to dominate, there are ones I would love to talk to but nothing more, there are ones I want as far away from me as possible and others chained to the foot of my bed.

On a couple of occasions I have met female dominants who due to (I think) a combination of deep wisdom, very very grounded emotionally, andwho possess (real world) immense experience have evoked desires of at least service on my part.

One dimensional people belong in chat rooms and fantasy novels.  Real human beings are complex with many layers and levels of interest, reaction, and behavior.  Don't fret about it, rejoice in it.  In my case, few things are as much a turn on as having a submissive who is someone others have had difficulty taming, or even deliciously more wicked, themselves dominant to others.

So relax, you are just a human like the rest of us.

(in reply to juliaoceania)
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