Neutral Overtures -- via CM PM (Full Version)

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cloudboy -> Neutral Overtures -- via CM PM (11/20/2010 5:00:29 PM)

I send observational notes to profiles that catch my eye while signing on. Harmless, neutral, conversational overtures.

Where the women are concerned:

(1) 50-65% of those notes go unread.

(2) 15% are read without a reply.

(3) 15% are read with a nominal reply of either a few words or one short sentence.

(4) 5% might write two sentences or more.

(5) 1% might engage. (AKA, read my profile and the reply says something of thoughtful, responsive interest.)

This concerns just simple conversational PMs, neutral in content (non sexual) but related to the recipient's profile.

I'm not putting forth a great deal of effort or thought in sending the message to the recipient (its just a spontaneous thought, usually) -- just stuff you'd say to someone you meet in passing on the ST.

I don't ever take offense. I am not herein complaining.

The stats above have not been scientifically recorded.

Curious what your observations are. The standard line here is that Fs get such a high volume of mail and that so much of it is inappropriate that such messages as the one's I'm sending get ignored or filtered into oblivion. Beyond that, I am somewhat struck by the lack of curiosity on the other side and the near total disinclination to engage.

Other standard reasons that I see are: (1) Kink misalignment; (2) already in a relationship; (3) age differences; (4) suspicious of the Trojan Horse, etc. -- result in someone who is generally "not interested."



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Neutral Overtures -- via CM PM (11/20/2010 5:05:27 PM)

I read all my mail--with the scrollover feature, that's even easier.

Most people get a response of some sort, a thank you for a compliment, that soert of thing. Questions get answered, sometimes conversations ensue.

I send out random mails myself, in response to profiles, and not all of it gets read, either. Some folk are just very specific in their purpose here, I guess, andconversation with anyone not a potential ONE is not of interest.



littlewonder -> RE: Neutral Overtures -- via CM PM (11/20/2010 5:05:41 PM)

I have men send me little notes about something in my profile all the time.

I either don't respond at all or send maybe a one or two liner back because to be honest their email had nothing in it to respond to. I mean what exactly can you say to an email that says "I like your profile"...uumm...thanks?

Now if they send a note with a little more oommpphh and punch, something that's worthwhile then I will respond in like but ya know in all the years that I've been on this site those have been few and far between. I would say the number has been less than 5.




gungadin09 -> RE: Neutral Overtures -- via CM PM (11/20/2010 5:22:38 PM)

i'm antisocial.

pam



catize -> RE: Neutral Overtures -- via CM PM (11/20/2010 5:24:49 PM)

Got an interesting email the other day, sort of a philosophy on how he views BDSM. I wrote back a note that I believed would garner more conversation. Just a friendly letter but no reply at all. Happens from both sides, even friendly gestures!



anniezz338 -> RE: Neutral Overtures -- via CM PM (11/20/2010 5:26:12 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: gungadin09

i'm antisocial.

pam


LMAO



WinsomeDefiance -> RE: Neutral Overtures -- via CM PM (11/20/2010 5:29:38 PM)

There is a good chance that much of your 50-65% unread were filtered through mail preferences and simply never received by those you sent the email to. Perhaps you didn't fall within their demographic preferences?

I felt so bad about not responding to emails, that I put a disclaimer in my profile telling people that unless I know them or interact with them here on the MB - I wont' be responding. I don't even know WHY I'm so opposed to responding to emails, except that I received so many rude responses when I didn't say whatever it was they were expecting to hear back; I just got tired of it.

Usually, however, if the email is just a friendly or kind neutral overture I will respond with a kind word back. Unfortunately, experience has shown me that those neutral overtures were just manipulative strategies to get a response, and when it was obvious that the strategy wasn't working toward 'winning me over' YEP rude remarks... I'm not sure why, but men (in general) appear to be especially prone toward being offensive when they don't get whatever it is they want.

Now, my profile is as unappealing as I can make it. I hardly EVER get any mail these days, and I like it that way.



pet38 -> RE: Neutral Overtures -- via CM PM (11/20/2010 5:40:12 PM)

Agree with littlewonder. Give me something to respond back to, things like hello, good morning, lines of porn, what kind of response do you expect back. Give us something/reason to respond back to.

And yes, I know my profile is empty, this is my testing the water again after few years away, things
haven't changed much.



Elisabella -> RE: Neutral Overtures -- via CM PM (11/20/2010 6:29:40 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: gungadin09

i'm antisocial.




Same. For real.



Twoshoes -> RE: Neutral Overtures -- via CM PM (11/20/2010 7:08:15 PM)

People write me to tell me they like my shoes. I'm all like "yawn". I don't really like to wear those anymore.

I understand why reading/answering tons of email is bothersome, but I don't see why someone couldn't write more than three words. When I encounter one-liners, a witty sentence is all they might get. I need at least something to have a conversation about.



WinsomeDefiance -> RE: Neutral Overtures -- via CM PM (11/20/2010 7:09:53 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Twoshoes

People write me to tell me they like my shoes. I'm all like "yawn". I don't really like to wear those anymore.



fickle bitch! [;)]



Twoshoes -> RE: Neutral Overtures -- via CM PM (11/20/2010 7:19:13 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance
quote:

ORIGINAL: Twoshoes
People write me to tell me they like my shoes. I'm all like "yawn". I don't really like to wear those anymore.

fickle bitch! [;)]

So true.[8D]



LadyPact -> RE: Neutral Overtures -- via CM PM (11/20/2010 7:22:45 PM)

I'm very much in alignment with Winsome's first post.  I do have it in My profile that I will only respond to people from the message boards or those who are local to Me.  I have to admit that even someone who has just a few posts might not get an in-depth reply if they are just mentioning something in My profile or I've already addressed a question that they've brought up on the boards.  If there's a current thread on what they want to discuss, I won't go into as much detail through email because I've already said My piece on the matter on the thread.  No need to give the same information twice. 

Of the reasons that you are stating that may be reasons that folks don't respond, I'm thinking that number 2 happens more often than some people might think, but probably not nearly as often as some women wish would be taken into consideration.



DomImus -> RE: Neutral Overtures -- via CM PM (11/20/2010 9:27:35 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy
I'm not putting forth a great deal of effort or thought in sending the message to the recipient


Maybe they sense that and see no real need to respond in light of it.



cloudboy -> RE: Neutral Overtures -- via CM PM (11/20/2010 9:43:56 PM)

Well, I know what happens in my case -- but what about you -- do you send out any conversational PMs, and how does it go? One might think it would be a little better than a cold calling salesman or phone solicitor --- but in many ways its actually just the same.



geminox -> RE: Neutral Overtures -- via CM PM (11/20/2010 9:44:40 PM)

using the message boards as a vetting process is one way to approach the site. however some people just dont usually get into the message board / forum thing and are on the site as a personals type resource. i guess im saying that when youre first logged in it seems the site displays folks that match your last search profile.

obviously there is alot of spam and scheming going on, so maybe if there was some way to avoid being listed in the front page of searches or something people who arent looking for casual little tweet like responses wouldnt get them as they wouldnt pop up when people log in. i do understand what the original poster means, you invite someone to have a look at your profile..(assuming they actual get a chance to read it beyond their filters, etc..) rather than just copy and pasting in what you already explained in the profile for the initial encounter at least...

its like if you arent already involved in the community, then youre thoughts or casual greetings are worthless or something.
i dunno.



subinlife -> RE: Neutral Overtures -- via CM PM (11/20/2010 11:57:00 PM)

I always answer my e-mails, even if it is just to say thank you for a profile comment. I have sent out comments on profiles and recieved no answer, but that is ok. If someone actually reads my profile I'm impressed. I love the e-mails that start with I read your profile and then they say something that tells you there is no way they read your profile.



GreedyTop -> RE: Neutral Overtures -- via CM PM (11/21/2010 12:03:16 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I read all my mail--with the scrollover feature, that's even easier.

Most people get a response of some sort, a thank you for a compliment, that soert of thing. Questions get answered, sometimes conversations ensue.

I send out random mails myself, in response to profiles, and not all of it gets read, either. Some folk are just very specific in their purpose here, I guess, andconversation with anyone not a potential ONE is not of interest.


This.



wandersalone -> RE: Neutral Overtures -- via CM PM (11/21/2010 4:02:51 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

I send observational notes to profiles that catch my eye while signing on. Harmless, neutral, conversational overtures.

Cloudboy can you give an example of what one of your notes would say?



xssve -> RE: Neutral Overtures -- via CM PM (11/21/2010 4:41:10 AM)

I've sent neutral PM's and gotten response, in the same spirit - though I usually include a reference as to why they're neutral - i.e., they're so far away that the chances of anything happening is unlikely, etc.

I don't send out a lot of PM's, the only real complaint I have is once or twice they've simply assumed I'm after them, and given me the business, but I think maybe that only happened once, that I remember - I didn't have a pic on my profile, and she stated on her profile, no pic, no reply.

She replied anyway, of course, just to excoriate me for PMing her without having a pic - I told her she was too young for me anyway, I prefer more mature women. lol.



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