RE: Doms-Masters...please help (Full Version)

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BitaTruble -> RE: Doms-Masters...please help (4/28/2006 1:09:06 PM)

You've already said she has the option to leave. She knows that so having other people say it seems rather redundant.  I think my advice is still the best. Document and see if there's a pattern. He may not realize that he's falling asleep every day at 3:30 in the afternoon. That doesn't mean he needs his keys taken away at 8 AM in the morning. Despite the fact that we may desire to control the actions of another adult, we don't have that option unless it's either given to us or we use force. You can use as many hypothetical scenarios as you want, but it won't change any of the realities of what's really going on. Documentation is something that is tangible and can be given to any adult so they can see the patterns for themselves. Her constantly bitching about what she 'thinks' is happening to him isn't going to do a thing. Respectfully presenting him with evidence of what's going on is quite different from hearing the same old tune day in day out which, frankly, gets tuned out rather quickly. Realistically, what is feasible to do? Take his keys away permanently? Not allow him to go to work? How is that going to fix the big picture problem? That's a temporary solution at best and will solve things only for that moment and create other issues at the same time. It's not like taking the keys away from a drunk who's going to sober up the next day and be able to drive. Unless you are willing to lock the guy in a cage and keep him there, being responsible for everything, what real choices do you have other than what you've already told her, which is she has the option to leave. How is leaving going to keep all those kids safe which seems to be the main concern here? Is her leaving going to stop him from falling asleep behind the wheel? As you said, her choice is to accept or leave. There are other options though and I think that's what she's looking for here.

To: MandC, with all due respect, if my own Master wanted a mindless automaton, he'd have one. He wants a real, live, thinking slave and that's what he's got. Despite contrary thought, people are human therefore flawed and to sit back an do nothing when there are options of doing 'something' is quite different than manipulating to get your way. This isn't like she's acting out to get spanked. There is something going on which may be medical in nature or could just be related to the added stress he's under right now. There is nothing to say she can't ask him to be allowed to document what's going on but the fact she came here for advice and was given advice doesn't not equate to 'we are all a bunch of Ann Landers wannabe's' who have no lives. Himself is a diabetic and if I had just let that go instead of documenting what was happening to him 5 years ago, he'd be dead right now instead of sitting in the office working knowing his got this 'thinking' slave ready for whatever evil delights he may want to indulge in this weekend.

Celeste




LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Doms-Masters...please help (4/28/2006 1:19:01 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble
As you said, her choice is to accept or leave. There are other options though and I think that's what she's looking for here.

Of course there are, and I've explicitly pointed to those as well in my previous posts and focused on the fact that a more drastic response should be considered only when standard methods of communication and documentation have failed.

I never said "Well, just leave him if he doesn't act right" or anything like "You're only option is to turn into the master and make him do your bidding."

But there can come a point where simply acting humble and obedient isn't the right thing to do, even for a slave.   




Kinkypupper -> RE: Doms-Masters...please help (4/28/2006 1:30:20 PM)

If this is a sudden thing and you have seen no changes in his patterns definately contact the family physician.




BitaTruble -> RE: Doms-Masters...please help (4/28/2006 1:36:34 PM)

My mistake then. I only saw posts where you suggest she voice concerns or take his keys.  If I missed the posts you made where you suggested alternatives to those, I apologize. I truly did not see you suggest she document, try to help him sleep better at night or go to the doctor etc.

Celeste




slavejali -> RE: Doms-Masters...please help (4/28/2006 1:50:55 PM)

Maybe his pride is not letting him rest even with this extra workload....and so he isnt really open to you saying "you need rest"...maybe a way around that is to offer him a massage...if its the relaxing kind he will be off to la la land within a few minutes..also get him some extra vitamins.




BitaTruble -> RE: Doms-Masters...please help (4/28/2006 2:14:28 PM)

Geeze, I completely forgot about this until Jali mentioned the vitamins. Himself gets fatigued and started taking a seaweed supplement which has done amazing things for him. He has more energy and doesn't fall asleep on the couch before dinner anymore. I'll ask him for the link when he is done working for the day and post it here so you can check out if it's something you'd like to bring to his attention.

Celeste




mtumwawaBwana -> RE: Doms-Masters...please help (4/28/2006 4:05:41 PM)

thank you Bita, i gave Him this thread and hopes He will read it some time tomorrow after He wakes.....He will see it then




KnightofMists -> RE: Doms-Masters...please help (4/28/2006 4:54:34 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I think there's a level of responsibility here. 


Blind Obedience...Thoughtful Obedience... Thoughtful Disobedience.. Blind Disobedience

Each situation requires the appropriate action to be taken. 







unquenchable -> RE: Doms-Masters...please help (4/28/2006 6:39:00 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mtumwawaBwana

my Master has been spending little time sleeping, so much so that He has been starting to become a little ill.  He is now fighting a headcold.  the last few days He has been falling out asleep on the dovan or while talking on the phone after He has come home from work. i try to say something to Him (in a submissive tone), but He is in a huge state of denial. how can i help Him see what is so obvious to me?

i humbly thank You for any help You see fit to send my way


In reading the posts, seems you have tried to speak to him.  Have you tried to help him to relax.  Thoughts here are...

A hot tub waiting for him?
A deep back massage with warm oils and thick towels?
Some calm music and a nice dinner with candle light?
Trying not to discuss His work day, but bringing up some of his more relaxing times?

Hope at least one of these works for both of you.

un--------




BitaTruble -> RE: Doms-Masters...please help (4/28/2006 6:40:55 PM)

The url is http://www.sunchlorella.com and my bad, it's not seaweed he takes, it's algae.




Dustyn -> RE: Doms-Masters...please help (4/29/2006 4:48:32 AM)

I'll push myself to the limits of exhaustion, and then some, to get a job done.

"I'll sleep when I'm dead" is the battle cry of the hard headed. LOL

Now this is just how it works with me, so bear with me.

As long as my brain is active, the body won't collapse unless I have pushed it to the breaking point, literally and figuratively.  I've been known to purposely avoid sleep for up to a week (not recommended, by the by), but then again, I was also taking care of terminally ill family members at the time, so in a very abstract sense, I can understand some of the drive behind your S?O's drive to get the work done.  Granted, not sure what depth of involvement he has in the medical field, but you didn't give that info. LOL

The best you can do for him is tell him yer worried, and cover him up when he does collapse, even if it's just for a couple of hours.

As the penis said when the kidney stone came a callin:

"This, too, shall pass."

- Dustyn




mtumwawaBwana -> RE: Doms-Masters...please help (4/29/2006 2:59:18 PM)

my many thanks to Aall for Yyour time and ideas. Master read this thread and opened up to me He understands my love and concern.....on to bigger and better things  woooo hoooo




RavenMuse -> RE: Doms-Masters...please help (5/1/2006 1:10:23 AM)

Ah.... the workaholic mentality, I know it well, too well unfortunatly and if as you say, things at work need covering that badly and he sees it as his responcibility then frankly dear you are unlikely to be able to do anything about the root cause till the vacant position gets filled.

However, you can try and talk to him about spending more of the non-work time relaxing and sleeping. Maybe suggest food, bath, glass of wine and giving him a gentle full body massage soon after he gets home, done right that will help many folks doze, if not fall asleep fully.




LaMspeach -> RE: Doms-Masters...please help (5/1/2006 5:08:17 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mtumwawaBwana

i know that driving whilst this tired is just the same as driving whilst under the influence of ETOH.
.


MtumwawBwawa
I noticed you said he isnt getting enough sleep because of an over load at work and you are afraid of him driving ect.  Perhaps to save yourself some worrying you can offer to do things like pick him up from work and maybe drive him to work, make him high energy snacks to eat during the day, have his cloths out and ready so he can sleep an extra 15 mins. If he asked why you are doing the little extra things tell him you are worried about him ... sometimes action speak louder then words. Little things you can do to make his life easier during this time might also give you some peace. 

I hope this helps. 

Edited to add.. Sorry i didnt see your post that everything had worked out. i guess i need more coffee




mtumwawaBwana -> RE: Doms-Masters...please help (5/1/2006 11:33:06 PM)

i hope and pray i will be able to move to Him by summer next. and rest assured i will be doing all i can to ease His stress. immigration into canada is the trick...

until this blessed day becomes a reality, i will only have the odd visits to be there for Him.  so till then, i am with Him in spirit and soul.

again ,  many thanks to Aall.. He read this thread and now seems to understand my deep love and concern for Him, and He now assures me He is getting more usefull rest. phone chats have trickled down to weekly from daily. He seems to not call in the odd hours now. i hope they hire someone soon.




Arpig -> RE: Doms-Masters...please help (5/2/2006 5:13:32 AM)

When he falls asleep on the divan, tuck a pillow under his head, slip off his shoes, put a blanket over him, turn out the light and do something quiet....just like gramma did for grandpa when he flaked out on the sofa....sometimes the traditional ways really are the best ways




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