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BitaTruble -> RE: Doms-Masters...please help (4/28/2006 1:09:06 PM)
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You've already said she has the option to leave. She knows that so having other people say it seems rather redundant. I think my advice is still the best. Document and see if there's a pattern. He may not realize that he's falling asleep every day at 3:30 in the afternoon. That doesn't mean he needs his keys taken away at 8 AM in the morning. Despite the fact that we may desire to control the actions of another adult, we don't have that option unless it's either given to us or we use force. You can use as many hypothetical scenarios as you want, but it won't change any of the realities of what's really going on. Documentation is something that is tangible and can be given to any adult so they can see the patterns for themselves. Her constantly bitching about what she 'thinks' is happening to him isn't going to do a thing. Respectfully presenting him with evidence of what's going on is quite different from hearing the same old tune day in day out which, frankly, gets tuned out rather quickly. Realistically, what is feasible to do? Take his keys away permanently? Not allow him to go to work? How is that going to fix the big picture problem? That's a temporary solution at best and will solve things only for that moment and create other issues at the same time. It's not like taking the keys away from a drunk who's going to sober up the next day and be able to drive. Unless you are willing to lock the guy in a cage and keep him there, being responsible for everything, what real choices do you have other than what you've already told her, which is she has the option to leave. How is leaving going to keep all those kids safe which seems to be the main concern here? Is her leaving going to stop him from falling asleep behind the wheel? As you said, her choice is to accept or leave. There are other options though and I think that's what she's looking for here.
To: MandC, with all due respect, if my own Master wanted a mindless automaton, he'd have one. He wants a real, live, thinking slave and that's what he's got. Despite contrary thought, people are human therefore flawed and to sit back an do nothing when there are options of doing 'something' is quite different than manipulating to get your way. This isn't like she's acting out to get spanked. There is something going on which may be medical in nature or could just be related to the added stress he's under right now. There is nothing to say she can't ask him to be allowed to document what's going on but the fact she came here for advice and was given advice doesn't not equate to 'we are all a bunch of Ann Landers wannabe's' who have no lives. Himself is a diabetic and if I had just let that go instead of documenting what was happening to him 5 years ago, he'd be dead right now instead of sitting in the office working knowing his got this 'thinking' slave ready for whatever evil delights he may want to indulge in this weekend.
Celeste
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