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Doms-Masters...please help - 4/28/2006 10:21:36 AM

mtumwawaBwana

Posts: 541
Status: offline

my Master has been spending little time sleeping, so much so that He has been starting to become a little ill. He is now fighting a headcold. the last few days He has been falling out asleep on the dovan or while talking on the phone after He has come home from work. i try to say something to Him (in a submissive tone), but He is in a huge state of denial. how can i help Him see what is so obvious to me?

i humbly thank You for any help You see fit to send my way

Post #: 1

RE: Doms-Masters...please help - 4/28/2006 10:24:53 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Is there a reason he hasn't been sleeping?

Sometimes the best service is not humble service. If he's putting himself and others in danger (sleeping while driving- not cool) he needs a harsh wake up call (no pun intended) as to exactly how he's doing things wrong. You should explain to him how he's not taking care of himself and thus can't be doing a good job of being responsible for you. You can also take away his keys.

If he orders you to do otherwise and continues the risky behavior, then your option is to leave.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to mtumwawaBwana)

Post #: 2

RE: Doms-Masters...please help - 4/28/2006 10:25:51 AM

CanadianGuy

Posts: 219
Status: offline

When you have a concern, can you bring it up with him? This is like any other. Ask him to talk, tell him this is something important to you, and then explain yourself. Unless he's unreasonable, he should listen to you and then consider what you say. That's the best you can do, I think. There's no way to "prove" to him that he's tired, if he doesn't already notice it when he passes out while using the phone.

(in reply to mtumwawaBwana)

Post #: 3

RE: Doms-Masters...please help - 4/28/2006 10:29:24 AM

CanadianGuy

Posts: 219
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
...your option is to leave.

Heheheh. I've noticed in almost every thread, submissives will remind each other that they should/could leave their dominant. "He whacks your ass? Leave him!" "What? He's flirting with the secretary? You're outta there!" "Your Dom is overworking himself so hard he's getting run down? RUN AWAY QUICK!"

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 4

RE: Doms-Masters...please help - 4/28/2006 10:33:19 AM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mtumwawaBwana

my Master has been spending little time sleeping, so much so that He has been starting to become a little ill. He is now fighting a headcold. the last few days He has been falling out asleep on the dovan or while talking on the phone after He has come home from work. i try to say something to Him (in a submissive tone), but He is in a huge state of denial. how can i help Him see what is so obvious to me?

i humbly thank You for any help You see fit to send my way

Please urge him to seek medical attention. Falling asleep after work is one thing, falling asleep in the middle of a telephone conversation is another. Is his normal night time pattern changing? Is he drinking caffeine products right before bed which interfere with his REM sleep? Do you need a new mattress? Is he under an unusual amount of stress right now? Keep a diary of the times he falls asleep as documentation can go a long way towards making a strong case which he won't be able to deny. You can present it on your knees if you want, but the main thing is to get him to a doctor to find the cause behind the symptoms.

You can only take care of him to a certain point. He's an adult and needs to take responsibility for his own health.

I wish you good luck in helping him take care of himself.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to mtumwawaBwana)

Post #: 5

RE: Doms-Masters...please help - 4/28/2006 10:33:40 AM

mtumwawaBwana

Posts: 541
Status: offline

Masters work load has doubled because of a fellow worker left his position last week.

Wwe are both in the medical field and driven to excel , but He has this "work must be done" mentality, and yes i fear Him driving whilst this tired.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 6

RE: Doms-Masters...please help - 4/28/2006 10:36:58 AM

slaverosebeauty

Posts: 1941
Joined: 12/12/2004
From: Cali
Status: offline

Tell him you love him and are worried about him and his health. Offer to bring him some hot 'sleepy' tea [their are teas made to help you rest], offer a massage to help him relax. This is a serious issue, talking is defiantly a big thing, maybe something is going on that he is worried about and for some reason, he doesn't want to discuss it, if you at least express your concerns to him, it may wake him up. If not, call his doctor something else may be going on and he needs medical attention.
Like LA said, take away his keys if neccesary, if he is on the road and is sleepy or not at his best, he is a risk to everyone else on the road, not just to himself.

_____________________________

http://slaverosebeauty.livejournal.com/

"Friends live on in our hearts, regardless if they are here or not."

(in reply to CanadianGuy)

Post #: 7

RE: Doms-Masters...please help - 4/28/2006 10:38:14 AM

mtumwawaBwana

Posts: 541
Status: offline

i have said something to Him every day this week..His reply to me is always "i can handle this. I'm not that tired...yet"

and i will not leave Him. . . the thought to do so never entered my mind

(in reply to CanadianGuy)

Post #: 8

RE: Doms-Masters...please help - 4/28/2006 10:41:10 AM

Reasonable

Posts: 459
Joined: 4/20/2006
Status: offline

Note down what you are seeing on paper and hand it to him.

Then have him look in the mirror when he's at his worst.

But do NOT screw with, molest, nag,or otherwise stress him.

He will remember later that you cared-but also respected.

(in reply to mtumwawaBwana)

Post #: 9

RE: Doms-Masters...please help - 4/28/2006 10:42:13 AM

mtumwawaBwana

Posts: 541
Status: offline

i have done this to a degree already... He denies there is any problem. He says this overload "is only temporary...it will pass"

im at my wits end

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 10

RE: Doms-Masters...please help - 4/28/2006 10:47:03 AM

Reasonable

Posts: 459
Joined: 4/20/2006
Status: offline

Let it go then,or there will be two burn outs instead of one.

(in reply to mtumwawaBwana)

Post #: 11

RE: Doms-Masters...please help - 4/28/2006 10:48:02 AM

curtkurtin

Posts: 5
Joined: 5/15/2005
Status: offline

re to sleeping dom.--sounds like it could be a form of sleep naptha--have him seek help-He could go to sleep and not come out of this--this is a serious condition.

(in reply to mtumwawaBwana)

Post #: 12

RE: Doms-Masters...please help - 4/28/2006 10:52:16 AM

mtumwawaBwana

Posts: 541
Status: offline

i think im going to give Him this thread and just let Him read it for Himself.

thank You for all Your thoughts and the time You took to send them

(in reply to curtkurtin)

Post #: 13

RE: Doms-Masters...please help - 4/28/2006 10:54:14 AM

sensiia

Posts: 103
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

You mentioned he is getting a headcold perhaps he was getting sick (the headcold). Some men get irritable and sleepless when getting ill. Comfort him and help to ease his discomfort or give him some room to get well. Communicate when he is better how this has affected you.

JMO

Sensiia

(in reply to mtumwawaBwana)

Post #: 14

RE: Doms-Masters...please help - 4/28/2006 10:54:24 AM

LadyHugs

Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Dear mtumwawaBwana,

If you have a digital camera with a movie feature to it, photograph him when he falls asleep or behaves in a manner that alarms you.

Because you are both in the medical realm, you can understand exhaustion and how it increases the risk of accidents and mistakes. As a medical professional, the ethic of "do no harm" includes to himself as much as to the patient.

If he doesn't do it for himself, to do it for his patients. Loosing him would be tragic, e.g. traffic accident, mistake in his care, etc.

Perhaps suggest to him, that he may want to look for a military doctor who needs a part time job outside his duty, retired doctors that can briefly come back until he can find another doctor; look into hospitals that have some doctors that do such supporting roles; Board of Surgeons may also have a list of available part time doctors.

Respectfully submitted,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to mtumwawaBwana)

Post #: 15

RE: Doms-Masters...please help - 4/28/2006 10:59:37 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CanadianGuy
Heheheh. I've noticed in almost every thread, submissives will remind each other that they should/could leave their dominant. "He whacks your ass? Leave him!" "What? He's flirting with the secretary? You're outta there!" "Your Dom is overworking himself so hard he's getting run down? RUN AWAY QUICK!"

There's a difference between "getting run down" and "may possibly be falling asleep at the wheel of a car and denying that there's any problem at all."

My advice was not "Run away NOW!"

My advice was- talk about it, give him the information, take away keys if you have to, and, if all else fails, the ultimate choice is to accept or leave.

I like to think my advice is reasonable and not simply knee-jerk bailout type.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to CanadianGuy)

Post #: 16

RE: Doms-Masters...please help - 4/28/2006 11:09:29 AM

MasterandCommand

Posts: 22
Joined: 1/24/2004
Status: offline

I always find it interesting how when something is not to a slaves or submissives liking the answer is always: You can always leave... If that is even a consideration at any time, then why are you claiming to be a slave or submissive in the first place? You are there to serve not to run at minor little disagreements. What if you Dom requires ytou to put the lid of the toilet down, are you going to run? Give me a break!!!

The reason I rarely read these forums is that it is usually full of busybody submissives who are Ann Landers wanna be's and all they want to do is to have their opinions pushed on others. The worst part of it all is that becasue they have no other life and they live on the forums for self identification, they more naieve ones think they know something when in truth they really don't.... especially if they are trying to "solve" issues as a third party, suggesting a sub or slave do anything beyond talking to her Master or Dom, or otherwise encouraging the accptability of going to somebody outside of her relationship which is actually a form of Topping.

Unless a Dom or Master is doing something illegal or is going way beyong their contract parameters, a submissive should not be focused only upon her Master and nobody else. Suggestions should always be with the intent of encouraging talking to the Master or Dom and if that doesn't work then accept the situation as it is becasue that is the Masters right as the Master!

All suggestions should be in favor of the sub/slave following the rules and word of the Master... NOT TO GO AROUND HIM, NOT TO INTERFERR WITH THE RELATIONSHIP, NOT TO TELL THE SUB/SLAVE WHAT TO DO other than that he is your master you do what he says.

On this specific issue, you talk to him, voice your concerns, and then you follow what he says as being your law. You do whatever you can to support him and make his life better... and you do not try to control him or manipulate him into what you think should be. As a sub/slave you are there to serve so do just that and forget all this other garbage people have been inciting to you to do anything otherwise. Sometimes it is a hard road expecially when you love him, but it always comes back to the fact that he is the Master and what he says is what you go on... not what outsiders think.

(in reply to mtumwawaBwana)

Post #: 17

RE: Doms-Masters...please help - 4/28/2006 11:31:13 AM

mtumwawaBwana

Posts: 541
Status: offline

thank You Sir.

my Masters word is always law, as You said. and i dont partake of the mentality to run when things get tough. i trust my Master will always have my best interests at His heart.

and loving Him, seeing Him work so hard is tearing me up.

i know that driving whilst this tired is just the same as driving whilst under the influence of ETOH.

and seeking other ideas in which i can submissively tell my Master my fears and help Him see and understand me is all i am seeking. in the end it is always my Master dealing with me His way. and as His slave, i seek to keep Him happy HEALTHY SAFE and in good cheer. my last Master died on me....i dont want Him doing the same to me.

(in reply to MasterandCommand)

Post #: 18

RE: Doms-Masters...please help - 4/28/2006 11:41:09 AM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mtumwawaBwana

i have done this to a degree already... He denies there is any problem. He says this overload "is only temporary...it will pass"

im at my wits end

Then you've done what you can and you need to leave it up to him to make the choices. You're his slave, not his mother. He's an adult and more importantly, he's your master. Time to let it go. Focus on the things you can do 'for' him to help him sleep well at night. Blow jobs come to mind. ;) Running him a hot bath, giving a good massage, soft mood music in the background, turning down the bed earlier to make it more inviting to crawl into at an earlier hour.. someone mentioned sleepy time tea, that stuff is great too.

Good luck!

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to mtumwawaBwana)

Post #: 19

RE: Doms-Masters...please help - 4/28/2006 12:13:08 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble
Then you've done what you can and you need to leave it up to him to make the choices.

I think there's a level of responsibility here. I'm not going to allow another adult to let my nephew play in traffic if I can prevent it- no matter what a master might tell me otherwise. It doesn't even have to be my nephew- any young child.

And I wouldn't let someone drive if I felt they were impaired or might likely fall asleep if I could prevent it. I would not want to face a life of knowing I could have done something to prevent a tragedy, someone else losing a loved one, just because I did my duty as a slave and obeyed.

"Just following orders" is not good enough.

Yes, of course you talk to them, and you let them know and you persuade them and you talk again and you beg and you be submissive and obey as much as is right. And actions to disobey are NOT something to be done lightly or without a lot of understanding- but sometimes it's the right thing to do.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 20

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