Dear Ex

Dear Ex (Full Version)

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Medic -> Dear Ex (11/22/2010 10:11:52 AM)
Dear Wife: I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for 27 years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today, and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal, and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore. Whatever the case, I'm gone. Youe EX-Husband P.S. Don't try to find me. Your sister Carla and I are moving away to West Virginia together. Have a great life! Dear Ex-husband: Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true you and I have been married for 27 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much to drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when you got your haircut last week, but the first thing that came to mind was, "you look just like a girl!" Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with my SISTER because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers; I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them and I prayed it was coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you and felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for $10 million, I quit my job and brought us two tickets to Jamaica, but when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me. So take care. Your Ex-Wife Rich as hell and free! P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem.

tazzygirl -> RE: Dear Ex (11/22/2010 10:14:11 AM)
LOL gotta love happy endings.

Medic -> RE: Dear Ex (11/22/2010 10:23:28 AM)
Seemd like everyone got what they wanted in this one, sorta.

ElegantDoll -> RE: Dear Ex (11/22/2010 4:32:10 PM)
And they all lived happily ever after...well, the wife anyway. [sm=popcorn.gif]

StrongSpirit -> RE: Dear Ex (11/22/2010 8:15:36 PM)
Makes me glad to be dominant. No way would I put up with a wife with a) such horrible communication skills , b) so incredibly obnoxious. Nor would I marry someone stupid enough to believe that his letter could possible have affected the divorce settlement. As for the idea that they all lived happily ever after, I think only their divorce lawyers are going to end up happy. There is clearly a lot of resentment from both sides and with 10 million at stake, it's going to be a long, drawn out trial with tons of unhappiness. Right about now, someone is thinking "it's a joke". I'm thinking "not a funny one".

DaddysInkedSlut -> RE: Dear Ex (11/22/2010 8:23:02 PM)
I think it is funny and IMO far to many people over think things.

tazzygirl -> RE: Dear Ex (11/22/2010 10:46:41 PM)
LOL Hunny was having an affair with the sister and all you can do is complain about the wife?????

GreedyTop -> RE: Dear Ex (11/23/2010 12:12:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DaddysInkedSlut I think it is funny and IMO far to many people over think things. This.

DarkSteven -> RE: Dear Ex (11/23/2010 6:23:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: StrongSpirit Makes me glad to be dominant. No way would I put up with a wife with a) such horrible communication skills , b) so incredibly obnoxious. Nor would I marry someone stupid enough to believe that his letter could possible have affected the divorce settlement. As for the idea that they all lived happily ever after, I think only their divorce lawyers are going to end up happy. There is clearly a lot of resentment from both sides and with 10 million at stake, it's going to be a long, drawn out trial with tons of unhappiness. Right about now, someone is thinking "it's a joke". I'm thinking "not a funny one". /Sends a book on humor to StrongSpirit/

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