RE: A Domme's Vulnerability (Full Version)

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LaTigresse -> RE: A Domme's Vulnerability (11/24/2010 10:36:27 AM)

Thank goodness I don't live in an area where there are poisonous snakes because every single one I saw would die.

All of the others will live. Even the HUMONGOUS black rat snake that has been living in my flower bed this year.



VaguelyCurious -> RE: A Domme's Vulnerability (11/24/2010 11:11:26 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SpyUnderCover

Do you let your submissive(s) see your weakest moments?

That, as much as anything else, is what they're there for. We form human relationships so that we have a network to support us through the crappy stuff, as well as so we can enjoy the good times.

If I can't cry in front of someone then I'm not really with them.



LadyNTrainer -> RE: A Domme's Vulnerability (11/24/2010 4:09:09 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
Frankly, too bad.  The snake you see and kill today is the one that doesn't become an issue for the children or the domestic animals that are on the property next week.  Who said anything about harassing?  Removing a potential threat from the property is higher on My list than the life of the snake.  Feel disgusted all you like.



Not necessarily true if you live in a normal ecosystem. Remove one adult animal from the microhabitat of your property, and most likely another will replace it. If you do succeed in actually making a hole in the ecosystem that isn't filled with another top level predator in the same niche, the ripple effects can be remarkably unhealthy. Rodent-borne illnesses have killed and hospitalized FAR more people than snakes ever have in the United States. They also do a lot more economic damage.

I knew one idiot who killed a "big black snake" that lived under his shed. Copperheads promptly moved in; the harmless black racer or indigo snake he killed had been eating them and keeping them from moving into that territory.

There are rational alternatives that contribute to human and animal medical research if you really want a particular venomous snake gone from your property. Take the time to find your local herpetologist(s) who can capture and direct the animals to venom research; they are very much wanted and needed there.



LadyPact -> RE: A Domme's Vulnerability (11/24/2010 4:33:55 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer
Not necessarily true if you live in a normal ecosystem. Remove one adult animal from the microhabitat of your property, and most likely another will replace it. If you do succeed in actually making a hole in the ecosystem that isn't filled with another top level predator in the same niche, the ripple effects can be remarkably unhealthy. Rodent-borne illnesses have killed and hospitalized FAR more people than snakes ever have in the United States. They also do a lot more economic damage.

I knew one idiot who killed a "big black snake" that lived under his shed. Copperheads promptly moved in; the harmless black racer or indigo snake he killed had been eating them and keeping them from moving into that territory.

There are rational alternatives that contribute to human and animal medical research if you really want a particular venomous snake gone from your property. Take the time to find your local herpetologist(s) who can capture and direct the animals to venom research; they are very much wanted and needed there.

If it makes you feel better, I kill mice that enter the house, too.

I'm not going to confuse a black snake with a potentially poisonous snake.  However, the cottonmouth snake is often confused with the copperhead.  The skin patterns are very similar and without getting 'up close and personal' one can easily be mistaken for the other.  Both are indigenous to GA.  My decision was to remove the potential immediate or future threat.

Perhaps we should start another thread on the topic, so as to avoid further derailing this one.  I would be happy to discuss the implications with you on another venue.



lickenforyou -> RE: A Domme's Vulnerability (11/24/2010 4:38:51 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious


quote:

ORIGINAL: SpyUnderCover

Do you let your submissive(s) see your weakest moments?

That, as much as anything else, is what they're there for. We form human relationships so that we have a network to support us through the crappy stuff, as well as so we can enjoy the good times.

If I can't cry in front of someone then I'm not really with them.


EXCELLENT!



ReginaMirus -> RE: A Domme's Vulnerability (11/24/2010 5:03:07 PM)

Copperheads smell like cucumbers. At least that's what I hear. I've never stuck around long enough to find out.

And I'm also of the same opinion with the others, here. Like the Marilyn Monroe quote that floats in various sigs out there "... if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."



LadyPact -> RE: A Domme's Vulnerability (11/24/2010 5:16:44 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ReginaMirus

Copperheads smell like cucumbers. At least that's what I hear. I've never stuck around long enough to find out.

And I'm also of the same opinion with the others, here. Like the Marilyn Monroe quote that floats in various sigs out there "... if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."


I'm sorry (again) for interrupting the thread. 

I attempt to make My decisions in My authority.  In doing so, I understand that they may not be the same decisions made by others.  I have no problem with that.  I respect the fact that such decisions are made by the Dominant having such authority.  Perhaps, for them, they would have made another choice.  Which is fine.  At the same time, they can not dictate the choice that I have made.

Again, I am happy to discuss My reign of authority on another thread.  I feel we are doing an injustice to the OP in bringing the topic onto this one.



VaguelyCurious -> RE: A Domme's Vulnerability (11/24/2010 5:36:26 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ReginaMirus

 "... if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."

Sort of. I don't think I like the idea of being 'handled'-I'm an adult and I'm pretty self-sufficient. If you (generic) see fetching me a box of tissues and a hot water bottle and then giving me a cuddle and a chat as having to 'handle' me then I'm not too sure I want to be in a relationship with you.

If a friend or a lover is upset I don't think 'oh god, I have to handle this', I think of it as taking care of them-it's a *positive* thing. 'Handle' has negative connotations-it makes them sound difficult or unpredictable. You handle wild animals or awkward situations, not vulnerable loved ones.

Did any of that make sense? It's half one in the morning here...



ReginaMirus -> RE: A Domme's Vulnerability (11/24/2010 5:46:47 PM)

Fair enough.

I took it the word "handle"  as an equivalent to the word "deal with", though.  Replace the one with the other, and that was kind of the meaning I derived out of it. Ie., if you can't deal with me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.  



VaguelyCurious -> RE: A Domme's Vulnerability (11/24/2010 5:50:41 PM)

'Deal with' isn't great either, though-I'm not a chore. I don't want to be coped with or managed or dealt with or handled-I want to be cared for and comforted. See the difference?

ETA: and that goes for the active tenses of all those verbs too.



ReginaMirus -> RE: A Domme's Vulnerability (11/24/2010 6:31:54 PM)

To each their own, then.



LaTigresse -> RE: A Domme's Vulnerability (11/24/2010 6:43:48 PM)

When I see that particular Marilyn quote, I think of a very high maintainance submissive.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: A Domme's Vulnerability (11/24/2010 6:51:30 PM)

I do, too, though the parts about taking the good with the bad work generically.

I spend a lot of my life "handling" people. I don't enjoy it.

ETA: there are a few sentences missing from the Marilyn quote where she describes herself--I hear them in my head, so that's why I see "high maintenance"



SpyUnderCover -> RE: A Domme's Vulnerability (11/26/2010 9:53:28 AM)

I'm glad we got back on the track of discussing a Domme's vulnerability. From the dominants who replied, it sounds like most of you let your submissives see the full range of your human emotions. Those who hold back from showing vulnerability to their submissives also tend to do so in many or most of their relationships. From the submissives who replied, it sounds like most of you expect to see vulnerability in your dominant from time to time and take it in stride.

Personally, I tend to be pretty open. I've never been the type to wall myself off, and I'd rather take the risk showing my vulnerable side than pull back completely.

Thanks again for everyone's thoughts on this. I look forward to more, if anyone else would like to share.



YSG -> RE: A Domme's Vulnerability (11/26/2010 7:19:02 PM)

Personally, someone quoting Marylin Munroe is a red flag to me. There is a BIG difference between being vulnerable and being unstable.



Twoshoes -> RE: A Domme's Vulnerability (11/26/2010 8:02:15 PM)

I agree with VC. If I ever happen to be vulnerable emotionally, it doesn't mean I'm suddenly a less capable person and treating me as such would be kind of insulting.

Oh, and I totally keep my vulnerability from most people, but at a certain point pretending to never have any emotions becomes a bit of a chore and then the option are: Be vulnerable OR Leave physically.

And if anything, my emotional awareness makes me stronger rather than weaker, because I can deal with my own and others' emotions fairly easily. I'm usually the one nodding calmly at overtly emotional people rather than the other way around. It's pretty hard to disturb my tranquility.

I actually thought I was good at pretending to not be sensitive, because I'm not outwardly emotional, but then I was informed people knew anyway, because I'm really understanding. So, then I decided "well, fuck it", I may as well accept myself. :P It has to do with growing up and not caring what stereotype you fit in.



CallaFirestormBW -> RE: A Domme's Vulnerability (11/27/2010 5:18:48 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I am reassured, Geoff! Because if you want to see me freeze and scream, just wait for wasps or deadly deadly bees come around!

I will happily deal with snakes and spiders, if properly equipped. :)


THIS! (Yes, I am allergic to bees... and it takes every bit of dignity I possess to sit still when one flies onto our patio!!!)

For the OP - My servants see my vulnerabilities. Like every other human being, I have my weaknesses. There are things that I am a tad irrational about (yes, really truly! *wink*). My servants may see me cry, rant, or express frustration over situations that I have no control over. That's just life. My inability to control other people's management of deadlines at work, however, does NOT mean that I have somehow lost authority over my servants, and, in general, they both accept and embrace my humanity, as I do theirs.

Calla



DesFIP -> RE: A Domme's Vulnerability (11/27/2010 2:01:47 PM)

You should have seen us a few years back, unfolding a tarp that had been outside all summer. Both of us shrieking when snakes and bugs appeared. Yes, he's a vulnerable human being just like me. Not a god, not above making mistakes. Just a human being, with flaws.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: A Domme's Vulnerability (11/27/2010 2:03:25 PM)

I feel as if I've given a wrong picture of myself somehow, so I am adding more...

I am a WYSIWYG person. One with tremendous social and etiquette skills that can be called upon, but I am essentially out there all the time. Anyone with me is going to see goofiness, snorks of laughter, loud opinions, whatever. Deadly deadly bees? They get to hear the GoAWAYbee chant, at increasing speed and volume. (It does not work , I just do it)

What they're not going to get is the heavy stuff that only my closest friends are privy to. I really don't care if I'm caught sobbing over some gpig death story, it doesn't make me less of a domly dom. I just don't do that big sharing anymore. I might do it again eventually, but it's not likely. Maybe with a female submissive.




VaguelyCurious -> RE: A Domme's Vulnerability (11/27/2010 2:35:13 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Yes, he's a vulnerable human being just like me. Not a god, not above making mistakes. Just a human being, with flaws.

We can haz that on a banner pleez?

I <3 you for saying that, I really do.



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