Chivalry and Masters/Doms

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anniezz338 -> Chivalry and Masters/Doms (11/26/2010 7:25:08 PM)
Hi, I haven't, as of yet, been in a true Dom/sub relationship yet. Does chivalry lessen in the dynamic of the relationship? The ones I can think of right off the top of my head is like holding doors open for you, moving in front of you in a possible harm situation, getting things from high places for you, dare I ask taking out the garbage?...etc. I like things like that. I wonder if that would be an issue for the "typical" Master/Dom. Could I expect to still see some of that when I meet someone and things evolve?

Hillwilliam -> RE: Chivalry and Masters/Doms (11/26/2010 7:26:22 PM)
As for the "chivalry" part. Isn't part of the Dom's job to protect the submissive? nuff said

Aynne88 -> RE: Chivalry and Masters/Doms (11/26/2010 7:29:28 PM)
Of course. Whatever type of man he is, regardless of being a Dom or Master, he will still be that type of man. Mind holds the doors always, assists me with my coat, brings me flowers, takes the trash, holds my arm while walking, makes sure I am warm enough, always protects me, and in general is by far the most gentlemanly man I have ever known. Then he whips my ass and flogs me too....lucky girl I am[;)].

lusciouslips19 -> RE: Chivalry and Masters/Doms (11/26/2010 7:32:53 PM)
Sorry. I misread....I'm tired...

littlewonder -> RE: Chivalry and Masters/Doms (11/26/2010 7:43:33 PM)
Master is polite and civil thus he opens doors for people, helps others, etc...not just for me alone. Most of the time though when it comes to our relationship I'm the one opening the doors, pulling out chairs, etc for him....because as his slave that's what I do..make his life easier and better. That's not to say he never does those things for me when he feels like doing so but my role in his life is to do what I can so that he doesn't have to do the work.

Twoshoes -> RE: Chivalry and Masters/Doms (11/26/2010 8:11:17 PM)
Depends on who you find. If you don't call it chivalry (cause that's lame), then sure.

lizi -> RE: Chivalry and Masters/Doms (11/26/2010 9:48:10 PM)
My guy is extremely chivalrous. He has a strong protective streak that doesn't quit. I never mistake his good manners or respect for weakness because I do believe that it takes a strong man to openly show those things. Then it's absolutely hot in the bedroom to have this same man tie me up, hurt me, and leave me with bruises.

agirl -> RE: Chivalry and Masters/Doms (11/27/2010 4:11:00 AM)
I expect that you're unlikely to be attracted to someone that wasn't thoughtful if you feel that way anyway. The fact that M will.... ..... pop his jacket around my shoulders if I'm chilly when watching an outdoor concert, or climb up ladders and stuff his hand into my gutters if there's a blockage, or cook for me, or massage me if I'm poorly, or, or, or.... too many things to mention.... ...has nothing to do with him being a dominant or MY Master..........He's thoughtful and kind as a person and my strongest ally. He's also forceful, firm and unflinching in the things that he decides are the best for me, even if I do not want to do them. There isn't a typical dom...there are men that are dominant with all the range of traits that anyone can have. Just as you'd choose any other partner, you choose your dominant. They aren't a breed apart. agirl

DesFIP -> RE: Chivalry and Masters/Doms (11/27/2010 5:46:20 AM)
Some do, some don't. The Man made it a rule for me to wait for him to come around and open my car door. He takes out the garbage, does the heavier work around the house that is beyond my capabilities. However, there are dominants who do expect the sub to open all the doors and do all the scut work. You just want to wish them good luck since you aren't compatible with them.

lally2 -> RE: Chivalry and Masters/Doms (11/27/2010 5:47:40 AM)
lushy im loving that new pic - smoochy hugs:)) ill open doors for people too, its polite - i dont think it has anything to do with being a Dom so much as someone being aware of the enviornment theyre in. im sub by the way, you could say that thats me being of service to people, but it isnt, its just being considerate because i find it intensely annoying and rude to have someone let a door slam in my face when im about to step through it after them. if a guy wanted to open the car door for me or open any door i dont see that as being anything other than them, Dom or not. what makes me all mushy is when i cant get the jam jar lid off and they give it a little twist and off it comes or im reaching for the top of the cupboard on my toes and he leans over behind me and grabs what im trying to reach for - if someone sees youre struggling its nice that they help you out. but i think you might be asking if a Dom might consider it undomly to open doors or help out because that might bring into question who is serving who. if they think like that id figure i was with a guy who over thinks the Dom/sub juxtaposition too much. i prefer a person who is themselves and doesnt get tied up in what he should or shouldnt be doing to maintain control. if he's that fragile about himself i wouldnt be with him to start with.

KatyLied -> RE: Chivalry and Masters/Doms (11/27/2010 6:05:07 AM)
Some Dominants are mannerly and polite, others are not. Depends on the guy. At least you have the advantage of measuring these things as the relationship evolves and you can decide how much of a barbarian you can tolerate. I could not be seriously engaged in a relationship with a guy who was not polite and displayed bad manners.

anniezz338 -> RE: Chivalry and Masters/Doms (11/27/2010 8:23:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lally2 but i think you might be asking if a Dom might consider it undomly to open doors or help out because that might bring into question who is serving who. if they think like that id figure i was with a guy who over thinks the Dom/sub juxtaposition too much. i prefer a person who is themselves and doesnt get tied up in what he should or shouldnt be doing to maintain control. if he's that fragile about himself i wouldnt be with him to start with. Hi lally2, the first sentence was what I meant. The term "over thinks" in the next sentence kinda caught my eye. Almost like trying to hard. I wouldn't find that attractive. KatyLied, like that statement about how much barbarian I could tolerate...lol. That is true on so many levels. I can definately see the pleasing and serving on my end but it is also nice to see numerous replies of courtesy shown to the subs. No, I do not mistake it for weakness :)

leadership527 -> RE: Chivalry and Masters/Doms (11/27/2010 8:58:32 AM)
Like all other such questions there is no answer to it because there are no "doms" and "subs"... there's just me, Carol, you, etc. I thihk you're going to find a ton of variation there based largely on the initial inclinations of the dom and sub as well as what sort of kink, if any, they are attempting to fulfill with the dynamic. I can tell you that I open door for Carol pretty much all the time along with other gestures normally considered chivalrous. I do so for pretty much anyone else too... male or female. But what does that tell you really? Who knows if I'd be anything resembling "dominant" in your eyes? edited to add: Ahhhh... now that I realize we are talking one of those domly mojo things... I have no idea. I don't have any domly mojo. I'm not afraid of losing it. What I do have, however, is an awful lot of love for Carol and that causes me to do lots of nice things for her... in fact... to serve her in a ton of different ways. Conveniently for me, it's my expectation that in a stable, long-term relationship both of us serve the other. What matters to me is obedience, not service. I was raised on the "A true leader serves" model of leadership and authority.

crystalclarinet -> RE: Chivalry and Masters/Doms (11/27/2010 9:18:50 AM)
I'd so mine is a pure romantic, but also one of the most degrading towards other woman. On the surface level and how he treats me is so much like that knight in shining amour, but when with my friends he has a much more woman hating attitude that he portrays to them. I guess for me its great although not too many others get to see that side of him. Like everyone said every person will be different in this case. I have met Doms that only want to use and abuse you and that is all, while others want to find that deeper connection. When I set out to find someone I was looking for that deeper bond that can develop from the trust that must be used in this type of relationship and I have found it. There are some that only look for play partners or really do not want to "get to know" their partners. I guess it really depends on what you want, but if you are looking for the chivalry in a man just seek it out and you will find it, it may take a while but its out there.

FriendlyMuppet -> RE: Chivalry and Masters/Doms (11/27/2010 9:21:43 AM)
Personally, I think chivalry is more built into the individual regardless of dominant or submissive personalities. I'm a submissive. Never been a dominant. But I'm extremely chivalrous in my mannerisms and actions. I don't see it as a segment of my submission, nor do I see it as some kind of hybrid dominance. It's a part of my upbringing that was built into me from childhood. Not always does everything have to be a part of the D/s structure to be significant to one's being.

AnimusRex -> RE: Chivalry and Masters/Doms (11/27/2010 12:23:48 PM)
I always open doors and carry heavy things and such; This discussion is similar to the old question of "can a Master love his slave?" In my experience, the more a woman feels secure, beloved, protected, cherished, listened to, respected, the more deeply she will love and be submissive to her man. At least its what works for us.

kyraofMists -> RE: Chivalry and Masters/Doms (11/27/2010 12:38:10 PM)
If you were in a relationship with my Lord then there would be an issue with expecting him to do these things. He will do these things if he wants to and he will expect us to do them for him when he wants to. For the most part, Alandra and I carry all the packages/bags etc. Every now and then he will say "Here let me help" and find the smallest bag to carry. It is all part of his charm and it makes Alandra and I laugh. Usually, he will be the first one through a door unless he instructs us otherwise. As Alandra and I have explained to our mother-in-law (his mom) is that to us, he is showing respect for who we are when he allows us to serve him and wait on him. We both find it extremely fulfilling to do his will. Other people may look from the outside and project their feelings into the situation, but he shows an intimate knowledge of who we are and allows us the privilege of serving him. When he wants to be sadistic and fuck with our head, he will do stuff for himself... then Alandra and I wonder if he is feeling sick or something [:D] Knight's Kyra

porcelaine -> RE: Chivalry and Masters/Doms (11/27/2010 1:42:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: anniezz338 I like things like that. I wonder if that would be an issue for the "typical" Master/Dom. Could I expect to still see some of that when I meet someone and things evolve? Greetings anniezz, In my opinion you're posing a question who's answer is fairly obvious. If you find these attributes appealing why would the opinions of those that are opposed to such matter unless you're willing to sacrifice [your wants] in deference to the possibility of a union with him? It would seem more feasible to accept your preferences and focus your attention on cultivating a relationship with dominant parties that think along similar lines. There's nothing wrong with the things you enjoy. The margin of error would involve you ignoring your truth in an attempt to fit yourself into a situation that opposes the very thing you seek. Best of luck. Namaste, ~porcelaine

DarkSteven -> RE: Chivalry and Masters/Doms (11/27/2010 1:47:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: anniezz338 I wonder if that would be an issue for the "typical" Master/Dom. Could I expect to still see some of that when I meet someone and things evolve? Hey! We're not all the same. As porcelaine implied above, there are lotsa us Doms. You don't need to settle for a "typical" one - go for one that meshes with you.

KatyLied -> RE: Chivalry and Masters/Doms (11/27/2010 2:36:44 PM)
quote: Other people may look from the outside and project their feelings into the situation There is certainly a ton of that stuff going on around here. [:D]

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