BDSM Clubs pros cons

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hotnatalya1 -> BDSM Clubs pros cons (11/28/2010 10:41:14 PM)
My husband and I are interested in going to a local BDSM Club and we were wondering how to approach this? Are there any pros and cons to beware of before we go? We will be going to one in the Washington DC area.

WinsomeDefiance -> RE: BDSM Clubs pros cons (11/28/2010 11:35:52 PM)
Everything you need to know about attending a BDSM club, you should have learned in Kindegarten! ...Play (safe.) Don't hit people. (without their consent) Put things back where you found them. (but clean them first) Clean up your own mess. Don't take (touch) things (people) that aren't yours. .... ETA: The actual poem that I used (butchered) as a reference: © Robert Fulghum, 1990. Found in Robert Fulghum, All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten, Villard Books: New York, 1990, page 6-7

VaguelyCurious -> RE: BDSM Clubs pros cons (11/29/2010 3:24:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hotnatalya1 My husband and I are interested in going to a local BDSM Club and we were wondering how to approach this? Check if you need to buy tickets in advance (and buy them if you do). Check if there's a dresscode (although I understand they're less strict in the states...?) Check if there's a pre-club meet-up anywhere that you might want to go to, so you can meet people first. The pros and cons are going to differ wildly depending on where you go. But IMO the pros outweigh the cons-you'll have fun! :D

DarkSteven -> RE: BDSM Clubs pros cons (11/29/2010 4:01:05 AM)
Just go and watch and have fun. Don't interrupt any ongoing scenes.

anniezz338 -> RE: BDSM Clubs pros cons (11/29/2010 5:58:08 AM)
I've found a club in my area and am considering attending. The weekly meetings in a local restaurant includes some drinking but at the parties they say no alcohol or drugs involved. That made me feel a little better. I would have seen alcohol as an issue for obvious reasons.

peppermint -> RE: BDSM Clubs pros cons (11/29/2010 7:07:40 AM)
Some clubs require an orientation session before you will be allowed to attend an event. Check the rules of the club. Don't touch what doesn't belong to you. Most important of all, have fun.

yellowroses -> RE: BDSM Clubs pros cons (11/29/2010 7:45:24 AM)
All very good advice so far. The 2 things I woud repeat are- Find out the rules in advance and don't interrupt anyone else's scene. The second one includes talking too loudly or laughing when you are standing/sitting near people that are in the midst of a scene. yellowroses

peppermint -> RE: BDSM Clubs pros cons (11/29/2010 8:02:52 AM)
Also, you get to use all that delicious equipment. I live in a motor home full time and don't have room for a St Andrew's cross, but we use one when we're in a club. You can also watch what others do and maybe decide you'd like to try that.

LadyPact -> RE: BDSM Clubs pros cons (11/29/2010 8:11:56 AM)
Just about every club out there has a website where you can read about the place before going. That will cover things such as open hours, price to attend, dress code, and dungeon rules (the rules of behavior that patrons must abide in play areas). Do your research before you go. This will help to avoid spoiling your evening due to plans being made for a night that isn't open play or in case they do have an orientation that is required prior to attending the club. Along with the club's own website, a lot of clubs have their own group on Fetlife. Often, you can find comments from people who are planning to attend certain events discussing the calendar for the club, nights they are looking forward to attending, or threads where people who are planning on going are getting together for dinner before the club opens. It's a great way for you to read comments that people have about the club or events that are taking place.

IronBear -> RE: BDSM Clubs pros cons (11/29/2010 8:35:47 AM)
Jolly good advise thus far. My only comment to add is that some clubs are very welcoming to new members and some are run by cliques so if you don't meet their personal standards you can be ostracized and find in virtually impossible to joining the scene like munches etc. Over all it is or can be a great place to meet folks and learn by observation.

Miyani -> RE: BDSM Clubs pros cons (11/29/2010 11:44:03 AM)
If you're going to the club I imagine you are, they have a "newbies night," the first Friday of every month. It's very much worth going to, just to meet people, and maybe I'll see you there. :) It's by no means required, just fun. Generally speaking, do your research. As others have said, find out about the dress code, ticket requirements, special event nights. Like I said, if it's the club I think it is, I'm happy to answer those questions for you. Also, don't go expecting to be the center of attention. I've seen too many people, and too many couples, decide never to return because they weren't instantly adopted into the "inner circle." Just as with any other group, it takes time to make friends and influence people. That's another reason why the Dungeon 101 is a great event, though, it's a bunch of people new to the club, all looking to make new friends.

straponprincess1 -> RE: BDSM Clubs pros cons (11/29/2010 12:11:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance Everything you need to know about attending a BDSM club, you should have learned in Kindegarten! ...Play (safe.) Don't hit people. (without their consent) Put things back where you found them. (but clean them first) Clean up your own mess. Don't take (touch) things (people) that aren't yours. .... ETA: The actual poem that I used (butchered) as a reference: © Robert Fulghum, 1990. Found in Robert Fulghum, All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten, Villard Books: New York, 1990, page 6-7 Nice I totally agree lol

StrongSpirit -> RE: BDSM Clubs pros cons (11/29/2010 7:02:27 PM)
1. The fact that you are in a BDSM club does not mean everyone is submissive to you. Better to treat everyone wearing clothing as if they were at a normal bar, and everyone not wearing clothing as if they were performers on a stage. 2. Pros: Public. That means safe. You can play with strangers without wondering if they are going to cut your throat/call the police, as you have witnesses. 3. Cons: Public. That means who knows who may show up. You could run into someone you know. You are also likely to be surrounded by people you do not want to play with. Most people are not suave, charming supermodels. Expect your fair share of unattractive people - both physically and unfortunately, socially. There will be at least one fool that simply does not get that you are not interested - unless you are the fool in question.

ExSteelAgain -> RE: BDSM Clubs pros cons (11/29/2010 7:55:16 PM)
All I know is that I once took a girl to a club in Atlanta. When we left, she turned to me and said, "Don't look back or you'll turn into a pillar of salt."

AquaticSub -> RE: BDSM Clubs pros cons (11/29/2010 9:17:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hotnatalya1 My husband and I are interested in going to a local BDSM Club and we were wondering how to approach this? Are there any pros and cons to beware of before we go? We will be going to one in the Washington DC area. Eh... it's been my personal experience that there are very few, if any, cons. The only one I can really speak of is that you may walk past a scene that bothers you. However, the only club I've had the pleasure of attending in the DC area had great private rooms where you shut the door and were in your own little world. As for pros... you have a group of like-minded people. Don't walk in there expecting to like all of them but some of them will probably share some "vanilla" interests. Who knows, you might find a gardening or bird-watching buddy that you don't have to censor yourself around while chatting in the social area? And, of course, there are the kink upsides. More equipment than most people can afford or have space for. More people around that you can learn from and get exposure to different toys/styles/etc. Expanding one's knowledge base. It is my humble opinion that clubs, munches, etc tend to be what you make of them. My only real warning is: Remember that it's a group of people. And just because you don't like the general crowd of group doesn't mean you won't like another. Give a few a try, perhaps in different areas if you happen to move or travel.

Kana -> RE: BDSM Clubs pros cons (11/29/2010 9:34:58 PM)
If you are going to the club I suspect, here are a few cons: 1-Lotsa traffic in baseball season. 2-It's kinda tough finding the place in the old industrial park. Follow the directions closely as mapquest tends to be useless due to never-ending construction. 3-Parking can be a bear. Otherwise, look, do not touch, don't interfere with a scene and you will be fine.

IronBear -> RE: BDSM Clubs pros cons (12/1/2010 7:15:50 AM)
The only thing I would add to my previous comment, would be, that If you see something happening you can always locate the duty DM (Dungeon Master) and ask him or her about it. The few times I did that I found that in each time the DMs were the epitome of patience and took me to one side and explained what was happening and that yes the knife wielder was both of proven experience and safe in what he was doing. far better to do that than raise a furore in a panic about something you have never seen let alone been taught.

Seatonstomb -> RE: BDSM Clubs pros cons (12/1/2010 7:50:13 AM)
If you find going to a club a bit daunting why not try a fetish market if there is one near you. They are a sort of club lite, where: you can but do not have to dress scene, can meet people, see how others dress and acquire your costume and toys and find out more about the local clubs and their boons and pitfalls. e.g. BBB Some ares might also have the next intermediate step a Play munch, which are a bit less intimidating than a full club but where people might play. e.g. Midland Play Munch

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