What Does Power Exchange Mean To You?

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What Does Power Exchange Mean To You? - 4/28/2006 8:50:12 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
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From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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I have heard from several different sources that the point of D/s is power exchange. I realize that I may have heard this wrong, that is NOT the root of it for some people ... But for the sake of this thread lets assume that all of you that respond have been involved in some form of power exchange. I wanted to ask if the power flowed to you (if you are a dom or switch) what exactly you feel you have given back? If you are a sub and have relinguished a measure of your power, what did you feel you received back? I have read some people that feel as though they are to give or receive without any suggestion they should give or receive anything back.. like all the giving is in one direction.. from the bottom up.

I hope I am being clear about the question because I am very curious about the answer... And I am not just asking those living in a TPE situation, or those serving in a collar now or in the past. I am asking anyone who has been involved even in just play, if they feel they submitted their power exactly what they received back, or if they were on the receiving end what they exchanged for the "gift" of submission (Okay.. I know I think too darn much..smiles).

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

Post #: 1

RE: What Does Power Exchange Mean To You? - 4/28/2006 9:08:16 PM

Reasonable

Posts: 459
Joined: 4/20/2006
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A managment technique.

I offered experiences others could not.

< Message edited by Reasonable -- 4/28/2006 9:09:07 PM >

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 2

RE: What Does Power Exchange Mean To You? - 4/28/2006 9:29:41 PM

WeeIttyBitty

Posts: 115
Joined: 4/24/2006
Status: offline

Men and women have exchanged sex for love since the beginning of time, its an old game and rather boring.

We have a different game we exchange power for "love" for a better word. Subs (slaves) give up power in the hopes the dominant partner will love them Keep them. Protect them from an uncertain world where everyone is increasingly powerless n their own lives.

Or maybe its the cool dress code and fun games...

(in reply to Reasonable)

Post #: 3

RE: What Does Power Exchange Mean To You? - 4/28/2006 9:31:10 PM

Reasonable

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Joined: 4/20/2006
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I think you nailed it.

Talk about getting into something for odd reasons...........

(in reply to WeeIttyBitty)

Post #: 4

RE: What Does Power Exchange Mean To You? - 4/28/2006 9:51:16 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
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What I 'exchange' during play is energy.. I give energy to him to feed the energy he gives back to me. What we have in our M/s relationship is a flow of power in which my will is taken to want to do things my own way and do them his way, to serve him as he thinks I should not as I think he should be served. Two different animals in my book.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to Reasonable)

Post #: 5

RE: What Does Power Exchange Mean To You? - 4/28/2006 10:45:39 PM

CrappyDom

Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

I get to be king of the only world that matters, that which I and my partner create.

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 6

RE: What Does Power Exchange Mean To You? - 4/28/2006 11:17:21 PM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WeeIttyBitty
Men and women have exchanged sex for love since the beginning of time, its an old game and rather boring.

We have a different game we exchange power for "love" for a better word. Subs (slaves) give up power in the hopes the dominant partner will love them Keep them. Protect them from an uncertain world where everyone is increasingly powerless n their own lives.

Or maybe its the cool dress code and fun games...

Perfectly represents what I feel about an acknowledged power exchange relationship.
Now only need someone who thinks like this and matches me kink and chemistrywise.

M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to WeeIttyBitty)

Post #: 7

RE: What Does Power Exchange Mean To You? - 4/28/2006 11:47:03 PM

ClassAct2006

Posts: 318
Joined: 4/12/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: WeeIttyBitty

We have a different game we exchange power for "love" for a better word. Subs (slaves) give up power in the hopes the dominant partner will love them Keep them. Protect them from an uncertain world where everyone is increasingly powerless n their own lives.

How nicely put. I think the mutual benefits for me are best seen on sites like takeninhand. I'm not into occasional BDSM play. There needs to be a full relationship there. What have I received back when I've relinquished power? Loads of things come back, care, tenderness, love, protection, someone to guide you, advise you, lead you, their support, having someone to rely and depend on and for me it just makes it an all round good relationship with less acrimony because you're in the dynamic which works for you both and there is less conflict, clear rules of who is in charge. Also I like submitting and pleasing someone so that in itself is pleasurable.

(in reply to WeeIttyBitty)

Post #: 8

RE: What Does Power Exchange Mean To You? - 4/28/2006 11:50:50 PM

CERCKL

Posts: 1039
Joined: 3/4/2006
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I remember in college when studying Nietzsche, one of his writings concerning the exchange of power and recognizing the truth in that; that in all circumstances that there is a control/contolled situation...to differing degrees.
I see the exchange as an honest accessment of our relations; that this flows in a circular manner...that relationships tend to have problems when both need control or both need to be controlled; it is balance...that, for myself does not equate to 'micro-manage' but that's just me...it doesn't interest me to 'control' each singular detail; but to be recognized as having authority in all, even if not exercised...also, I feel that protecting, nurturing, supporting, creating is a sign of devotion, trust towards her just as servitude, adoration, surrender is a sign on her part...all illustrating, experiencing complete trust, unquestioning...this is the 'ultimate' interaction for me personally...

C

_____________________________

AND I AM TOO AN ASSHOLE, I HAVE REFERENCES!!!

"Please, please, please believe me, I really am an asshole. All that Enlightenment and Higher Learning shit was all a ruse."

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 9

RE: What Does Power Exchange Mean To You? - 4/29/2006 12:17:47 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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I remember clearly the first time I knelt in front of someone whom I let my power flow to, it was heady and intoxicating and I have never felt that way since unless I was in the act of submission.. it is a high for me that can even carry me on to subspace, but not always. I think bita was right to some degree, it is an exchange of energy and at its best moments both sub and dom combine that energy. There is nothing like it in the world.....

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to CERCKL)

Post #: 10

RE: What Does Power Exchange Mean To You? - 4/29/2006 12:24:28 AM

ServiceNTucson

Posts: 127
Joined: 4/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I am asking anyone who has been involved even in just play, if they feel they submitted their power exactly what they received back, or if they were on the receiving end what they exchanged for the "gift" of submission (Okay.. I know I think too darn much..smiles).

What I receive back for the "gift" of submission is the "gift" of dominance.

I've always kind of objected to the concept of submission as a "gift" because it implies the submissive is getting nothing for it. What do I get for it? Fulfilment, contentment and an endorphin high that beats the heck out of any drug I ever used.

quote:

What I 'exchange' during play is energy.. I give energy to him to feed the energy he gives back to me.

I think Celeste put it very well here. An "exchange" is not a simple matter of one giving and the other getting. It's a mutual giving and getting; both give, both get.

_____________________________

Harry

"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book."

Groucho Marx

www.desertdominion.org

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 11

RE: What Does Power Exchange Mean To You? - 4/29/2006 12:24:49 AM

amayos

Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
What Does Power Exchange Mean To You?

It means nothing to me. I've never understood what was being exchanged, exactly, and "TPE" is just another in-style, peppy acronym in the end. I personally prefer to call it by its time-honored name: slavery.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 12

RE: What Does Power Exchange Mean To You? - 4/29/2006 12:27:02 AM

daisgirl

Posts: 4
Joined: 4/28/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

If you are a sub and have relinguished a measure of your power, what did you feel you received back?

It is amazing to me that when i truly relinguish my power to Him, i receive a fullness, and a freedom that is undescribeable. He gives me back all of the power i had AND then some... He drains me completely... and somehow, when He fills me again, I am able to hold more, to feel more, to love more! For this I Thank Him!

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 13

RE: What Does Power Exchange Mean To You? - 4/29/2006 12:53:33 AM

bandit25

Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline

I like the term "balance" because, for me, that's part of what I get back. There's that feeling of trust and being protected that I definitely get back, but I also get back the freedom to let go in the first place.

(in reply to daisgirl)

Post #: 14

RE: What Does Power Exchange Mean To You? - 4/29/2006 1:04:47 AM

ElectraGlide

Posts: 1246
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: Maryland
Status: offline

The Power Exchange was a awesome feeling reaching new sexual heights I never thought was possible. I was in a bedroom only Dom-Sub relationship years ago. We were young and horny enjoying a great sex life as it was. She suggested me to Dom her a few months after we met. It was a great unity we shared. It was an honor to me that she would share herself in that way with total trust. In a years time she only had to use the safe word once, that was when I pulled her by the hair. It was not hard just to guide her head. She explained her mother did that to her once very hard so I understood. If you think about it I was submitting to her desires but I wanted to fully please her so it was a shared power exchange. I guess she was a sadist if that is the proper term because she loved it rough. Being a begginer I reached new levels and limits I may of been turned off by the thought of at one time. Some of the levels and limits were totaly spontanius because I glided into them without realizing the path I was on , like I have been there many times before. I felt like I conquered not in a ego way but in a satified job well done for the both of us way. We where both always left drained because our sessions would last a few hours. That is the one liberty I did take when I was in control with the bondage it was going to be a long session to push her and drain her with oral until I could give her as many orgasims as I could. She was multi-orgasmic which was a pleasure.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 15

RE: What Does Power Exchange Mean To You? - 4/29/2006 3:27:55 AM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

First thing is to define power in a BDSM context. Here's my version....

In a predominantly vanilla world, fem/subs have a unique quality that I, a male Dom, find highly attractive and desirable - that is that they literally are *submissive*! Now, given that anyone who has something you want has a certain power over you, I refer to the quality of submissiveness as being a sub's power.

And if you look at it from a sub's perspective, Dom/mes also have an attractive and desirable quality to subs that nillas don't have - that they are *dominant* in a lifestyle sense, too! This is the Dom's power....

In order to create a healthy D/s dynamic, you need an equal amount of *both* powers present and it's this actual dynamic which is defined by an exchange of powers - a submissive submitting to a Dominant who's dominating her.

Because these opposite but complimenting powers are *equal*, I don't believe in old chestnuts like the "gift of submission". Gifts are given freely and without expectation but subs specifically seek out a Dom/me to submit to because they want something in return; to be dominated. What we have here is another form of *exchange*; whether it's a ten minute play session or a 24/7 relationship! Each (Dom and sub) has what the other craves and a D/s dynamic is created through an exchange of equal and complimenting powers.

Focus.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 16

RE: What Does Power Exchange Mean To You? - 4/29/2006 4:45:52 AM

TeeGO

Posts: 451
Joined: 12/11/2005
Status: offline

This will be easy to answer, just some cut and paste from my profile.

One gives up control to another, what can be greater than that? To either give up yourself to another, or take the burden of another’s self as your own. The possibilities are endless and no relationship could be deeper. This connection forms a bonding of the souls, a link to one another where energy flows between us.

How I see it as working. I submit as a Knight to serving his Queen. That is the beginning point. But through the Mistress/slave power and energy exchange, through the S&M, the discipline, the constant enforcing of what we are (Mistress and slave), we can find the deep fulfillment we both seek. Because as I seek to serve, my Queen seeks to be served. The more I submit, the deeper she forces my submission. The deeper she forces my submission, the more willingly I submit. The more willingly I submit, the deeper she forces my submission. And the cycle goes on and on.

I do not need a Domme to control me. I can live my life, manage my life, and enjoy my life all by myself thankyouverymuch. But I do have a deep need within to surrender control of myself to a worthy Domme. I want to be controlled, I want to serve, I want to make her happy and fulfilled and thus making myself happy and fulfilled.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 17

RE: What Does Power Exchange Mean To You? - 4/29/2006 5:46:11 AM

Contesaluv

Posts: 173
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CERCKL

I remember in college when studying Nietzsche, one of his writings concerning the exchange of power and recognizing the truth in that; that in all circumstances that there is a control/contolled situation...to differing degrees.
I see the exchange as an honest accessment of our relations; that this flows in a circular manner...that relationships tend to have problems when both need control or both need to be controlled; it is balance...that, for myself does not equate to 'micro-manage' but that's just me...it doesn't interest me to 'control' each singular detail; but to be recognized as having authority in all, even if not exercised...also, I feel that protecting, nurturing, supporting, creating is a sign of devotion, trust towards her just as servitude, adoration, surrender is a sign on her part...all illustrating, experiencing complete trust, unquestioning...this is the 'ultimate' interaction for me personally...

C

I can say that I totally agree with this. With the addition that there is actually a high that I experience when a sub is totally in tuned with me through his submission. There is a moment during play when, if the connection is right, the Domme also feels a high that far surpasses anything I've experienced in any other way. Now, that's an exchange of power at the maximum level. Well, above the daily exchange.

_____________________________

Mistress C.

It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.
William Shakespeare
------------------------
In a world of so many variables, why do you have to be the norm? Anonymous

(in reply to CERCKL)

Post #: 18

RE: What Does Power Exchange Mean To You? - 4/29/2006 5:47:08 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

I had never quite thought of it from this perspective but it makes perfect sense. Thank you!

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

First thing is to define power in a BDSM context. Here's my version....

In a predominantly vanilla world, fem/subs have a unique quality that I, a male Dom, find highly attractive and desirable - that is that they literally are *submissive*! Now, given that anyone who has something you want has a certain power over you, I refer to the quality of submissiveness as being a sub's power.

And if you look at it from a sub's perspective, Dom/mes also have an attractive and desirable quality to subs that nillas don't have - that they are *dominant* in a lifestyle sense, too! This is the Dom's power....

In order to create a healthy D/s dynamic, you need an equal amount of *both* powers present and it's this actual dynamic which is defined by an exchange of powers - a submissive submitting to a Dominant who's dominating her.

Because these opposite but complimenting powers are *equal*, I don't believe in old chestnuts like the "gift of submission". Gifts are given freely and without expectation but subs specifically seek out a Dom/me to submit to because they want something in return; to be dominated. What we have here is another form of *exchange*; whether it's a ten minute play session or a 24/7 relationship! Each (Dom and sub) has what the other craves and a D/s dynamic is created through an exchange of equal and complimenting powers.

Focus.

(in reply to Focus50)

Post #: 19

RE: What Does Power Exchange Mean To You? - 4/29/2006 6:05:57 AM

rapture2778

Posts: 53
Joined: 4/25/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50
In order to create a healthy D/s dynamic, you need an equal amount of *both* powers present and it's this actual dynamic which is defined by an exchange of powers - a submissive submitting to a Dominant who's dominating her.

Because these opposite but complimenting powers are *equal*, I don't believe in old chestnuts like the "gift of submission".

Focus.

i couldn't agree more! well said Focus!

(in reply to Focus50)

Post #: 20

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