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BurlyBill -> Introduction (12/2/2010 7:44:49 PM)
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I just registered today after a sub friend told me of the site. I am returning to D/s after 5 years with a sub and, after we separated, 3 years away from the lifestyle because I needed a break.
I started in the lifestyle in the early 90's and was fortunate to be trained by some wonderful (and wonderfully intelligent) subs. They knew I was a Dom and they wanted me to understand submission. As a result, I believe I do have at least a basic understanding of the sub's psyche, her needs and wants, her pleasures and disappointments. Because my wife wanted nothing to do with the lifestyle, and because she recognized that I had a deep interest in it that she knew I was going to examine, my subs have--for the most part--come from out of town. This was not an ideal situation but it was what we dealt with. I believe we all enjoyed and benefited from the relationships.
It occurs to me that this is not the "normal" introduction of a Dom to a community of subs, but I am who I am and this is what it is.
In the almost 20 years I've been involved with D/s and BDSM, I learned a lot of technical things as well. I am very good with floggers, canes and whips, sharp and pointy objects, restraints of all kinds, masks/hoods, small devices such as suction cups, wartburgh wheels, feathers, fur, gags, wax, fire play, and so on. I do not have experience with electrical devices, do not want to leave lasting marks of any kind, believe in "safe, sane, and consensual" and react quickly and positively to safe-words.
I view the D/s relationship as one of honor, trust, communication, and great pleasure. I have always believed that what we do is not so much the infliction of pain as it is the creation of sensations which lead to deep psychological relief and plentiful orgasms. I am one sort of an artist and try to make my play a work of art. Perhaps the highest compliment I've ever received in D/s was when a sub told her friends that I played her "like a violin," with all the variety in tempos one will find in a lengthy symphony. In other words, my play is fast and slow, hard and soft, predictable and surprising, and it is always aimed at a culmination of pleasurable satisfaction.
Now, if you've read this far you may well be thinking I'm a pompous jerk. I don't think that's true.
What am I looking for on here?
Well, at my age (a rather vigorous 73), I'm not looking for a permanent sub. Instead, I think there are at least three roles I can fill. First, I can be a temporary Dom, filling needs and wants while a sub searches for a more permanent and lasting arrangement. I'll be willing to help in her search, and perhaps my assistance will help her avoid making hasty decisions just so she can receive sensations she's been missing. Second, I can be a "training" Dom for new subs and couples who know this lifestyle is for them and who want to learn more about it. Finally, I can help the curious explore this lifestyle to see if it is what they envisioned and what they want. Because at one time or another I have filled each of these roles, I believe I can be happy again in any of them, and that I will be a valuable addition to the sub's experiences.
A couple of other items of significance. I am center-left politically and have a difficult time with people who are closed minded in politics. This does not mean I'm either anti-conservative or anti-liberal, but I am anti anyone who won't think for themselves. I'm well-educated, well-read, and well-travelled. These add up to a certain level of sophistication I'll probably try to impart to my partners. Or, perhaps they'll be able to lead me in this regard. And as lovely as the young and very young are, I don't think I can handle immature subs. I love wise-ass subs, I love subs who are independent and capable when they are not yielding to me and my wishes, but I don't get off on subs who are bratty just because it's something to do. I would rather not have to include the teaching of manners in what I do. I live in central Ohio and have a fairly flexible schedule but would rather not travel great distances. I am more than willing to communicate with ladies over great distances but I've never seen a really successful on-line D/s relationship--even the one I tried!--so what we have better offer the opportunity for face-to-face meetings.
So, that's enough. If you've read this far you are probably quite unusual. I hope you will ask yourself if I might not be worth some exploration. And, if you conclude that I am, I hope you'll send me a letter telling me a bit about yourself. We'll go from there.
Bill
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