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Stupid Mistakes - 4/29/2006 8:00:12 AM

Merritt27

Posts: 82
Joined: 8/10/2005
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Have any of you ever found yourself making a stupid mistake....one that is just beyond you as to how it happened?? One that baffled even your Dom/Master? If so, how do you "get over yourself" enough to move past it?? Obviously, i have done something beyond dumb and am having one hell of a time getting past that feeling of total and complete failure....not brought on by Him...but by me.

Any input would help....Thanks!

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RE: Stupid Mistakes - 4/29/2006 8:13:26 AM

Halcyone

Posts: 93
Joined: 8/24/2005
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If laughing at myself doesn't work, I've found that making some sort of repentant gesture usually does. If Sir doesn't believe I deserve punishment then I don't have the right to punish myself, but that doesn't prevent me from doing something a little extra for him (or myself) to make up for what I did and remind myself not to be a bonehead again.

(in reply to Merritt27)

Post #: 2

RE: Stupid Mistakes - 4/29/2006 8:28:51 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Give it time. If they've forgiven you for it, then you're clear. It might take awhile for you to get settled and you may never understand what caused the sudden quirk, but time and ability to get yourself back on track will soothe you.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Merritt27)

Post #: 3

RE: Stupid Mistakes - 4/29/2006 8:34:25 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
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While perfection is a great goal, it's not an attainable one. You have to come to terms with the fact that you are merely mortal and will indeed make mistakes. The real key is in being able to admit them, learn the lesson and not make the same ones repeatedly. If you can do that then you have the game licked.

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Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to Merritt27)

Post #: 4

RE: Stupid Mistakes - 4/29/2006 9:09:40 AM

rapture2778

Posts: 53
Joined: 4/25/2006
Status: offline

wow...you have gotten some great advice here! it's hard to pin down why any of us do the things that we do...all you can do is learn from it and move on...and i completely agree with what Halcyone said...if your Master "disciplined" you for it, allow that to be the end of it, if he didn't see it needed to be addressed in that way, have faith in him...best of luck to you!

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 5

RE: Stupid Mistakes - 4/29/2006 10:21:23 AM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

We have all made mistakes, and i know it is hard to get past them Halcyone had a good idea. If he is not going to punish you then to make yourself feel better maybe you can do a little extra. The best thing you can do though is put it behind you and remember not to do that thing again.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to rapture2778)

Post #: 6

RE: Stupid Mistakes - 4/29/2006 11:00:17 AM

Merritt27

Posts: 82
Joined: 8/10/2005
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Thank you all for your kind words and wisdom. It seems that sometimes He is easier on me than i am on myself...and the letting go can be the sticking point..but, i'm trying!

Thanks again....

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Post #: 7

RE: Stupid Mistakes - 4/29/2006 1:41:54 PM

puella

Posts: 2457
Joined: 12/2/2004
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I can only say this, Merritt... He is still with you. He did not leave you for the mistake, no matter how blatant or dumb you, and perhaps even he, feels it is. We all make mistakes.. some of them really wretched. He obviously feels you are worth more to him than the sum total of the mistakes you have made, plus the ones you are sure to make in the future.

That is a wonderful thing to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get your groove back for...Then you can start showing how glad you are that you have the opportunity to do so... and maybe yourself too.

:)

(in reply to Merritt27)

Post #: 8

RE: Stupid Mistakes - 4/29/2006 3:01:10 PM

feastie

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Joined: 6/4/2004
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There are moments when I can see the clarity of my own brilliance and I am content in the rosy warmth of the knowledge. Of course, that is usually and quickly followed by a moment of sheer dumbassedness, the likes of which have yet to be explored by humanity.

We're human and we all screw up. Fact of life. Don't beat yourself up over it.

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Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to puella)

Post #: 9

RE: Stupid Mistakes - 4/29/2006 4:04:02 PM

BreakingGlass

Posts: 565
Joined: 4/8/2006
From: Spider-Skull Island
Status: offline

My last big mistake took me months to get over. Or rather, I'm still in the process of getting over it...without going into the sordid details it's sufficient to say that time is what I needed to put it into perspective. How much longer it'll take me...can't say.

But what helped me the most...is helping me the most...is his reassurance that he will to stick by me, no matter what. He wasn't going to pressure me into a "get over it, now" situation; instead, he gave me the time I needed to work through it myself. He wasn't going to tell me what to do; it is enough that he there to listen.

(in reply to feastie)

Post #: 10

RE: Stupid Mistakes - 4/29/2006 8:47:23 PM

TemptingNviceSub

Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline

To the Op as most have said we are human and will make mistakes.Now not having anyone at this time to answer to, all I can base advice on is the fact that I absolutely hate to make mistakes!.It just always stuns me that at times I am capable of such utter stupidity,and often left to wonder if I had some major brain fart.So essentially what I am saying is,I have usually found that (IMO)women in general, submissives in particular will beat them selves up more harshly and of longer duration than any male or Dominant.I personally will think long and hard upon my failure or mistake try to come up with a resolution within me and then let it go.I just make sure that no one is aware of the turmoil within.,,be well Tempting

(in reply to BreakingGlass)

Post #: 11

RE: Stupid Mistakes - 4/30/2006 4:29:04 AM

fyreredsub

Posts: 3403
Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline

pick yourself up, dust your knees(well or butt) off, and learn from it and don't make the same mistake again.

soon it will be in the past memories of things to put on your not to do list
and most of all
forgive yourself for He has.

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"Accordingly, men must then either fulfill their nature, or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is the complement to theirs. " Renegades

(in reply to Merritt27)

Post #: 12

RE: Stupid Mistakes - 4/30/2006 4:40:00 AM

bandit25

Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
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We all do make mistakes. I make them all the damn time, but the thing that has always helped me is admitting that I made it and learning from it. I guess I may be somewhat different...I don't mind making mistakes. What I mean to say is that I learn from my mistakes, so when I make one, I look at it as a learning ecperience.

(in reply to fyreredsub)

Post #: 13

RE: Stupid Mistakes - 4/30/2006 6:11:53 AM

Fawne

Posts: 462
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

While perfection is a great goal, it's not an attainable one. You have to come to terms with the fact that you are merely mortal and will indeed make mistakes. The real key is in being able to admit them, learn the lesson and not make the same ones repeatedly. If you can do that then you have the game licked.

mistoferin: especially nice, TY!

Thanks!!
Great and for me, timely topic! Good luck all :)

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 14

RE: Stupid Mistakes - 4/30/2006 6:59:07 AM

CrappyDom

Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

I would look really deep into myself and ask why I made the mistake. Unless you tripped over something in the dark, somewhere in your mind there is a reason for what you did and finding that reason might unlock some interesting things or lead to some personal growth.

But as many here said, he has forgiven you, shit happens, build a bridge and get over it.

(in reply to Fawne)

Post #: 15

RE: Stupid Mistakes - 4/30/2006 9:47:02 AM

tanna

Posts: 51
Joined: 6/29/2004
Status: offline

I know it is often hard to forgive yourself.. I tend to relive the moment and cringe repeatedly.. It passes after a while.. Hopefully one learns from it and is able to move on, preferably to also learn to NOT repeat similar mistakes in the future.

(in reply to Merritt27)

Post #: 16

RE: Stupid Mistakes - 4/30/2006 1:29:12 PM

PlayfulOne

Posts: 1047
Status: offline

Well crappy it certaintly wasn't anything that profound. We came in from dinner with a friend, she was yacking, and just blew past a house rule. In the middle of doing it she had the "oh shit" moment when it dawned on her what she had done. . We had a long discussion aboiut the rules and a "definite response" from me set in place should it happen again.

K

(in reply to CrappyDom)

Post #: 17

RE: Stupid Mistakes - 4/30/2006 2:43:12 PM

babysburnin

Posts: 421
Joined: 2/16/2006
Status: offline

Merritt - from one who beats herself up more than anyone else ever could, just think about how the mistake was handled. You caught yourself almost immediately, it was discussed with your Owner, and you are remorseful. Take a few deep breaths, think of all the times when you didn't break the house rule, and get on with your life. It's "water under the bridge". You'll mess up soon enough again (in your mind, at least

), let this one be over and done with. Think happy thoughts

.

_____________________________

-Babysburnin

"Love is, above all else, the gift of oneself."
- Jean Anouilh

"The highest proof of virtue is to possess boundless power without abusing it."
- Lord Macaulay

(in reply to Merritt27)

Post #: 18

RE: Stupid Mistakes - 4/30/2006 6:18:21 PM

obis

Posts: 412
Joined: 9/9/2005
From: Austin, TX, USA
Status: offline

Echoing the others, you seem to be handling it perfectly. Only time can make the sting go away -- mistakes invariably cause us more harm than they do to others since we care about them and beat ourselves up over the issue.

Mistakes are inevitable, for both dom and sub. What is important is that we care enough and know enough about each other to recognize mistakes, admit to them, apologize for them, and know that we will try to avoid them in the future. True mistakes, no matter how bad, are not a big deal. It's only passive-agressive behavior masquerading as a mistake that would cause me a problem, and indeed probably lead to dismissal if it was at all consciously done.

(in reply to babysburnin)

Post #: 19

RE: Stupid Mistakes - 4/30/2006 6:51:40 PM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

We are ALL human and we ALL make mistakes. In my personal opinion the only truely stupid mistake is one not learned from and continually repeated.

(in reply to obis)

Post #: 20

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