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finding a mistress - 12/5/2010 12:58:31 AM   
toserveuu


Posts: 5
Joined: 5/1/2010
Status: offline 		i have had the worst luck finding a mistress i'm either running into scam artist or people just after my pockets. For those real mistress out there how does a loyal sub find a good mistress. I love to be told what to do its just that i also am suceptable to being scammed :(
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: finding a mistress - 12/5/2010 1:24:54 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		If you don't do well avoiding scammers, try getting off of the net and going to an event in your local BDSM community.  The only person there asking you for money will be the waitress when she gives you the check from the dinner/drinks/whatever you had.

Go to a munch.  Go directly to a munch.  Do not pass go, and no one will be collecting your two hundred dollars.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to toserveuu)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: finding a mistress - 12/5/2010 1:31:09 AM   
toserveuu


Posts: 5
Joined: 5/1/2010
Status: offline 		what is a munch? how do i find one in NYC

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: finding a mistress - 12/5/2010 1:32:28 AM   
toserveuu


Posts: 5
Joined: 5/1/2010
Status: offline 		thank you for your answer by the way

(in reply to toserveuu)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: finding a mistress - 12/5/2010 1:46:57 AM   
BonesFromAsh


Posts: 1362
Joined: 6/17/2010
Status: offline 		Ask a Mistress FAQs

Scroll to the bottom of the page for a link to a site that will help you.

In particular, I would suggest The Eulenspiegel Society as a good place to start. NYC has tons of stuff to offer.

IMO, "real" is relative. What's real for you is fake for someone else and vice versa. Figure out what that is and what you can offer that's real and then go forth with a huge amount of common sense and enjoy.

(in reply to toserveuu)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: finding a mistress - 12/5/2010 2:57:34 AM   
CynthiaWVirginia


Posts: 1915
Joined: 2/28/2010
From: West Virginia, USA
Status: offline 		toserveuu, I sent you a link on the other side, in your mailbox, that has munch groups in your area.

< Message edited by CynthiaWVirginia -- 12/5/2010 2:58:52 AM >

(in reply to toserveuu)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: finding a mistress - 12/5/2010 3:47:21 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		what LadyP, Bones and Cynthia said.

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to CynthiaWVirginia)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: finding a mistress - 12/5/2010 4:51:54 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		No real woman would be interested in someone with an empty profile.  If you're gonna play the online game, put forth the effort to describe yourself.  You can't catch fish without bait.

BTW, being susceptible to scammers... what does that mean?  Being susceptible to being contacted by them, or actually forking out money?  Hopefully you have never paid them a penny.  If you did, making that fact known will not help your cause.

But real life is the way to go.  I agree with the ladies.




_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: finding a mistress - 12/5/2010 5:37:03 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		I think it depends what he sees as being scammed, if he loves to be told what to do but only things that get him off and somebody says "Well, if I want a sub he has to be useful for me or I expect to get my fun too" somebody might think that's a scam as she isn't bending over backwards to service him, or somebody might say "Since it's all about your kink, I want to be compensated for my time and equipment..." I wouldn't consider those things as scams but as trade offs, but it seems to be the general idea on this site that the women have to provide everything and in case they ask for anything, or demand some sort of trade off, they're scammers.

Scams for me are people who try to get money out of you by promising you something but having no intention of delivering. Somebody saying "Send me $100 just because I tell you and expect nothing" that's less a spammer and more just somebody who's got an inflated sense of entitlement, but if she meets somebody who gets off on sending money to random strangers, 2 people are happy... None of my business, all the more power to them...


_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: finding a mistress - 12/5/2010 7:43:36 AM   
slavekal


Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline 		Use other means besides internet to find a Mistress.  Go to parties, munches, other events.  Use the net too, this site and others. And gently gauge the Mistress potential of women you meet in vanilla settings.

_____________________________

"The Courage to Submit: the submissive male's guide to finding a dominant woman"
http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/the-courage-to-submit-the-guide-for-the-submissive-male-seeking-a-dominant-woman/5968917

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: finding a mistress - 12/5/2010 8:05:14 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slavekal

Use other means besides internet to find a Mistress.  Go to parties, munches, other events.  Use the net too, this site and others. And gently gauge the Mistress potential of women you meet in vanilla settings.


Yes, but if he's in NYC and he doesn't know where to find munches, I got to wonder how much energy he's willing to spend on looking for it, a simple websearch should give him a ton of groups and he'd possibly busy for weeks checking them out. Making a post complaining about your bad luck and your dream Domme hasn't magically materialized when you haven't actually looked in real life, I gotta wonder a bit.

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to slavekal)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: finding a mistress - 12/5/2010 12:33:01 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slavekal

Use other means besides internet to find a Mistress.  Go to parties, munches, other events.  Use the net too, this site and others. And gently gauge the Mistress potential of women you meet in vanilla settings.



I really don't think that's the best advice for someone with NO experience or the wherewithal to get any.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to slavekal)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: finding a mistress - 12/5/2010 4:50:04 PM   
toserveuu


Posts: 5
Joined: 5/1/2010
Status: offline 		wow sorry guys i work a full time job as a nurse so its not easy finding the time to dedicate all day. This is a passion of mine one which i would love to learn more, by succeptable to scams i meant that 9-10 people i have met (online) on CM were either asking for money just to talk or we talked and eventually led to them asking for money. I don't mind giving money but not as a service . I do have a professional job

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: finding a mistress - 12/5/2010 5:19:21 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Dude, you are literally on a site that has a list of munches.  It wouldn't even take you the extra effort of opening another window and typing "New York City BDSM" into the search box.  We're not talking about a huge investment here.  The information is included in the Frequently Asked Questions section here.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to toserveuu)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: finding a mistress - 12/5/2010 5:36:14 PM   
toserveuu


Posts: 5
Joined: 5/1/2010
Status: offline 		sorry i had no idea

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: finding a mistress - 12/5/2010 6:12:25 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: toserveuu

sorry i had no idea


Don't sweat it.  Just go ahead and enjoy.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to toserveuu)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: finding a mistress - 12/5/2010 7:08:16 PM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Ok Steve enough. If your going to point that camera at me at least take a picture. toserveuu I have to say it. Your way to eager and you will end up getting scammed. Just my opinion.

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: finding a mistress - 12/5/2010 9:16:58 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Ok Steve enough. If your going to point that camera at me at least take a picture.


My camera has standards... 

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: finding a mistress - 12/6/2010 11:55:39 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Ok Steve enough. If your going to point that camera at me at least take a picture.


My camera has standards... 



Extra cookies for Steven!!

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: finding a mistress - 12/6/2010 11:59:28 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Rayray, you are on the right track, though!

OP, how did you find THIS site? The internet, right? So, here you are, a resident of the greatest city in the world (yeah it IS people!) and you don't have the wherewithal to search any further than that, to use the incredible amount of resources here, and on the internet generally?

Suit up and EDUCATE YOURSELF. Not by sitting here asking obvious questions---check out the FAQ section, read some freakin BOOKS, go to the many events that are in your area, or a train ride away. Think about what you want from your fantasy/obsession. Read the boards here, and on the other DISCUSSION sites, and see if what you want is even in line with what the real women who are out there want.

STAY AWAY FROM INTERNET PORN, and all those so-called "femdom" websites. As it is you are ripe pickings for a scammer or pay service.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 20
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