RE: Do femdoms compete with wildly open minded, kinky vanilla women?

RE: Do femdoms compete with wildly open minded, kinky vanilla women? (Full Version)

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subexploring -> RE: Do femdoms compete with wildly open minded, kinky vanilla women? (12/10/2010 9:32:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse don't think a dominant woman can be in any real competition with a woman that is primarily interested in some wild kinky fun and less interested in actually being the leader of the relationship, and all that entails. This. There's a big, big difference between a willingness to role-play various fantasies and a desire to actually be in the leadership role. In my experience, it's pretty easy to find women who are into you enough to role-play whatever you want, but very few women who really want to be in control in that deeper way. You can feel the difference. This is a very complex area, though. I think one important reason there are so few dominant women is that established gender roles give women a lot of power in the form of topping from below, more or less being a backseat driver. Flipping the romantic stereotypes can seem like a step down. Being the more passive one who is taken care of can be a real power position, and women can see sub men as a threat to that power. Many women who are aggressive, succesful and dominant in the career world seem to want to be with an even more aggressive, successful man.

subexploring -> RE: Do femdoms compete with wildly open minded, kinky vanilla women? (12/10/2010 9:34:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: YSG ok, so, I figured this was newsworthy, and would fit in with this thread. I went out on another date with this vanilla girl last night. Ill spare you the boring details, like where we went to eat, etc. I take her home, and we're sitting in my car talking for a few minutes. Anyway, she reaches over, kisses me, and tells me, "you make me very happy". I dont know if she somehow sensed my heart leaping, or the big goofy grin on my face after she said that, but a moment later she reached over and pulled my hair (instant melting point for me). The next words out of her mouth were "I KNEW it! You're submissive!". Long story short, she says she's always had this fantasy about having a submissive boyfriend/husband, wanting to be in control of the relationship, etc. So, it looks like a pretty interesting time ahead for me [:D] Very cool. Something like this is kind of a fantasy for me, actually. Much bigger fantasy than having a woman dressing up in some silly costume or whatever.

Ambyant -> RE: Do femdoms compete with wildly open minded, kinky vanilla women? (12/11/2010 10:01:25 AM)
Morning, y'all - here's My .02: quote: Femdoms, do you consider "vanilla women" as potential competition (not in a bad way, just from a numbers standpoint) if you consider a man to be highly desirable?] Not at all - they tend to be less OUT and not Kinky the way those of Us who are on this site. The men they attract tend to be less self knowing as well. We acknowledge Who/What we are that the vanilla females have not. About as much as I fret about gay guys taking up all the non gay guys out there. [Have you ever felt you had a submissive man that you were deeply attracted to but that he was also interested potentially in a vanilla woman, or vanilla dating, or that he probably wouldn't been keen on you being "in the lifestyle?"] No, the main issue seems to be setting up clear communication from the start. If the males don't show real interest in My kinkiness as part of getting to know Me, they won't be what I am looking for. [Have you ever had to "tone down" your involvement in the "bdsm community" because you felt a guy may think it a little weird? No. sheesh. pfft! 'Weird' is only the tip of My iceberg. How many men do you think are dating mainstream and successfully identifying kinky women or converting kinky women? Not so clear that - I mean, '42' comes to mind. Are femdoms not as "rare" as some dominant women would like men to believe? Not in the sense that some women are bossy and in charge.. sure there's lots of those - they just don't seem to be able or willing to make it a mission statement like I have. My little sister is hella bossy and really an Alpha Female - but doesn't feel it is a attractive for a LTR to a vanilla male so doesn't push that self image. quote: ORIGINAL: AAkasha

sunshinemiss -> RE: Do femdoms compete with wildly open minded, kinky vanilla women? (12/11/2010 5:31:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SexyBossyBBW quote: Femdoms, do you consider "vanilla women" as potential competition ORIGINAL: AAkasha Absolutely not. What self respecting fem dom is so insecure, and anti women, that she would see other women's presence, and open mindedness as problematic, or undercutting her own position among the masses? QFT... Amen.

seekingOwnertoo -> RE: Do femdoms compete with wildly open minded, kinky vanilla women? (12/11/2010 5:41:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AAkasha In the past few years I've met a few older men who found out I was kinky later, and confessed their kinky sides also -- and in talking to them, I found out they had no idea really any "bdsm community" existed, but they dated plenty of wildly kinky women and weren't lonely by any stretch of the imagination This question does surprise me! Not because you are wrong ... but because you ask it! [:)] Really, with older men, it is NOT about Femdom ... rather, we dream of kinky! All men do! And most, simply, have dreamed it, without living it, throughout life! So it really is about You! How You carry Yourself, your adventurousness, and how the two of you relate! Men WANT to worship and adore you! Yes, we love the concept of a Domme! But we are really compelled by bright, intelligent, assertive Ladies, who go for what they want! Even when you are sexually assertive, too! And when you display these traits, we consider you Domme. Regardless of your "community". So it does not matter whether you call yourself Domme, Lifestyle, or not. It is all about how you go about it! Meaning your personality! But so few of You (women) are willing to be bright, intelligent and assertive. Even worse, so many of you prefer to submit to us! THen, it is really ... easy pickings! [;)] Guess the world takes all kinds.

leadership527 -> RE: Do femdoms compete with wildly open minded, kinky vanilla women? (12/12/2010 6:12:44 PM)
Carol doesn't care about "kink" so she wouldn't think of it that way. She does care about dominance and she draws no distinction between vanilla and BDSM. The kind of dominance which matters to her would be the same in either context. Probably the only thing she cares about BDSM-wise is that some BDSM dominant would be likely to want to hurt her which would be a negative in her book... not an insurmountable thing, but someone would've already needed to dominate her in order to get her to submit in that way. So yeah, for Carol BDSM doms do compete with vanilla doms.

Xiansjade -> RE: Do femdoms compete with wildly open minded, kinky vanilla women? (12/12/2010 11:20:28 PM)
i'm submissive, and always have been, but in my "vanilla" life, just hanging out with friends, i hang out with the guys way more than women. (less drama, no offense) The guys make room for me, vy for attention and so forth. i think that's all normal dude behavior, but i have to admit, i do like that little bit of control my big boobs give me. Is that bad?

Aynne88 -> RE: Do femdoms compete with wildly open minded, kinky vanilla women? (12/13/2010 8:18:30 AM)
n/m. [8\|]

SlaveSubtoserve -> RE: Do femdoms compete with wildly open minded, kinky vanilla women? (1/8/2011 4:24:29 PM)
yes this is true though uncommon just as those men are.

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