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Disappearing Masters? - 12/6/2010 10:06:44 AM

entrigued

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Joined: 5/12/2008
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I have been talking to a Master very seriously. I told him about just about every abominable flaw I have and waited for him to lose interest and walk away. He didn't. He listened, and said. "that's what I am here for". He was very good at turning my attention from things he thought might get in the way. He was very good at keeping my attention and focus on him. We were graduating towards meeting. In fact, I had intended on giving him my cell number when I spoke last on Yahoo IM. It wasn't something he'd asked for, but I wanted him to have it.

I have a very hard time with the idea that he would be the sort to abandon a sub. He did not want an online anything, and he was attempting to narrow that divide inch by inch. I see a fire, or a heart attack. I see the hard drive crashing, or something catastrophic happening to a loved one. I see so many possibilities and none of them are good, and the very, very last one the list is simple abandonment. but he's been gone for almost 48 hours, and the silence is getting to be extremely LOUD.

I have no precedent for this. I have no idea what to think. I have no idea how 'long' it will take for me to decide he is gone. How long it will take before I turn from the direction he had me pointing in to returning to 'as I was'. This internet thing sucks. It can bring us together, but it can also leave us so incredibly and devastatingly blind.

The what, the who, they why, the when? And WHERE. Where is he? And the what. WHAT do I do now?

Only he can answer the where. And either he will return and fill in all of those blanks, or he will not. It may take him a minute to fix whatever is broken or whatever went wrong so I have no plans to go head first into a search for another dom. I'll probably end up doing just the opposite, anyway. Eventually those unanswered emails will tell me that it's time to move on. But I don't know what moving 'on' would mean for me, because it's far too early for me to even ask that.

I am completely caught betwixt and between a rock and a hard place - with all of that separation anxiety, uncertainty, worry, and confusion. What do I do with it. what do I do with myself while all of this is sorting itself out?

Any thoughts?

Post #: 1

RE: Disappearing Masters? - 12/6/2010 10:09:08 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
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Well with a nick like MasterHoudini you shoulda saw something comin.

Just sayin'

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to entrigued)

Post #: 2

RE: Disappearing Masters? - 12/6/2010 10:23:59 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: entrigued

Any thoughts?

I think if not hearing from a guy you haven't met or spoken to over the phone for 48 hours is gonna do this to ya, you are probably better off getting out and meeting people in the community. At least you'll be able to find out if they were in a car wreck.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to entrigued)

Post #: 3

RE: Disappearing Masters? - 12/6/2010 10:25:27 AM

Nineveh

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Joined: 2/5/2008
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48 hours is not very long. Enough for it to hurt, and to miss the person a lot, but I wouldn't worry about a fire or anything yet. It's been awfully cold in the Eastern USA and i am sure there have been power and internet outages in some areas.

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 4

RE: Disappearing Masters? - 12/6/2010 10:34:47 AM

tazzygirl

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline

My thoughts exactly.

OP, 2 days isnt a long time at all. Power failure, internet connection, pc crash... it could all be that easily explained. Relax, breathe, and take a wait and see attitude.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to Nineveh)

Post #: 5

RE: Disappearing Masters? - 12/6/2010 10:54:36 AM

MRRoy2

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Joined: 11/18/2010
Status: offline

Did you consider the fact that he may be testing you to ensure you are submissive to him alone and wants to know that you wont run at the first sign of trouble?

_____________________________

Live life to the fullest. You only have one.

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Post #: 6

RE: Disappearing Masters? - 12/6/2010 10:58:16 AM

MoxieRed

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Joined: 9/19/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MRRoy2

Did you consider the fact that he may be testing you to ensure you are submissive to him alone and wants to know that you wont run at the first sign of trouble?

That's a pretty shitty way to do it, imo. If someone disappeared on me then came back and said, "Just kidding! Still around?", I would kick them to the curb. It smacks of deceit and trickery to me. Some are different, but that's my impression.

(in reply to MRRoy2)

Post #: 7

RE: Disappearing Masters? - 12/6/2010 11:09:58 AM

RapierFugue

Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MoxieRed

quote:

ORIGINAL: MRRoy2
Did you consider the fact that he may be testing you to ensure you are submissive to him alone and wants to know that you wont run at the first sign of trouble?

That's a pretty shitty way to do it, imo.

Agreed. It's also counterproductive, IMHO at least.

In this case, as it's been online only, I'd say it was more likely he a) had net issues or b) had got bored. Or possibly c) had met someone else.

It is only 48 hours, after all. If it turns out to be other than an understandable excuse though I'd say "lucky escape"; anyone flaky enough to mess a person around at the early stages is probably going to continue in that vein.

(in reply to MoxieRed)

Post #: 8

RE: Disappearing Masters? - 12/6/2010 11:38:08 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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Computer crash seems most likely. Or he had to go away for the weekend at the last minute. It is the holiday season after all.

But people do flake, so don't overinvest like this in the future if he never returns. Next time, meet for coffee quickly instead of doing this to yourself.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to RapierFugue)

Post #: 9

RE: Disappearing Masters? - 12/6/2010 11:51:08 AM

Killerangel

Posts: 1169
Joined: 8/3/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
But people do flake, so don't overinvest like this in the future if he never returns. Next time, meet for coffee quickly instead of doing this to yourself.

When I was looking, I'd find myself getting very invested online at times. It's hard not to- you talk and talk, you find out lots of personal info which then pulls you in farther. You might discuss intimate details. You can get close to someone online fairly quickly. I finally realized this process wasn't good for me and would push for a RL meeting fairly quickly to find out if things were actually the way they existed in my head. For me meeting people online is convenient and useful but it can ultimately lead me to feeling falsely invested in someone before we've really made up our minds about each other.

People change their mind. He may have met someone else who he felt was a better match for him. His wife may have found out. He may have had second thoughts. Whatever....it happens.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 10

RE: Disappearing Masters? - 12/6/2010 12:00:55 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

entrigued, this happens. Keep the faith, but prepare yourself for the fact that he might not be back, or even worse, he might return after a few weeks. Or he might be back tomorrow and have a very valid reason. I'm with my girlfriend aqua here - real live people are more reliable..

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Killerangel)

Post #: 11

RE: Disappearing Masters? - 12/6/2010 12:31:34 PM

entrigued

Posts: 7
Joined: 5/12/2008
Status: offline

I have quite a bit of Moxie myself, and doing something like that sort of 'testing' would go over like lead. The conversation would simply be ov-er.

I'm not going to go into a tailspin if he is gone. I'm a little too much of a survivalist, and far less the sheltered, fragile flower. I'm hoping that the answer is simple, boring and mundane. Unfortunately, apart from taking claims for a major insurance company and hearing alllll the many ways that fate can walk up on yah and really wreck your day, I've seen it all too often, and first hand. You think to yourself, "It's dust in the drive, but sh*t I hope a car didn't go bursting through the front window."

I'm not a fan of the internet, and maybe that's what this is all about. Wouldn't it be swell if there was an active and thriving 'community' for me to go out to. If there was something like that for me to take advantage of, I wouldn't have written this because odds are very high, I wouldn't be here. I'm simply not in an area where that is a viable option.

Option one is what I am hoping for: hardware failure. Option two is a simple 'walk away' he's playin' me for a fool. (that one isn't ringing with me) Option three: His house burned to the ground or something happened. Unfortunately THAT is ringing with me. And I really don't 'care' where we are on the scale of meeting or whether we have talked yet on the phone or not, or even if he BECOMES or would have become my dom or not. I care about people. I'm hoping for number 1; I'm trying not to fixate on number 3. That is what the question is about. It's not about whether I am lemon-headed stupid and/or he's a fake.

He was cooking when we last spoke and he was tired. My little mind landed right ON that. Cooking and tired. How many claims involve the STOVE? How many claims involve cooking and falling asleep in the livingroom? Cooking and tired and silence. I just hope that he didn't pass out with that stove still hot and anything around it that could ignite. And I'm looking for ways to get my mind OFF that.

(in reply to RapierFugue)

Post #: 12

RE: Disappearing Masters? - 12/6/2010 12:46:08 PM

RapierFugue

Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: entrigued
I'm not going to go into a tailspin if he is gone.

Good.

(in reply to entrigued)

Post #: 13

RE: Disappearing Masters? - 12/6/2010 1:58:40 PM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

Seems to me that a week if a fairly decent length of time to give someone to respond to you. Don't panic til the 8th day and delete all contact info. If he can't send you an email in that length of time, there is something majorly wrong with him or his world.

and yes, talking to prospective doms online can suck majorly, but also can work really well!

.....so don't give up.

(in reply to RapierFugue)

Post #: 14

RE: Disappearing Masters? - 12/6/2010 2:07:37 PM

Icarys

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Well with a nick like MasterHoudini you shoulda saw something comin.

Just sayin'

Lol

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(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 15

RE: Disappearing Masters? - 12/6/2010 3:39:02 PM

anniezz338

Posts: 1183
Joined: 8/17/2010
Status: offline

I wouldn't let it bother you too much. Online is a role of the dice, at least in rl you can see dice. And it is easy to get sucked in.

As for me, I wouldn't be contacting him. And then I would probably say something cheeky like "do I know you...lol?" when he finally does pop up. He's in the lead. You'll find out what he does with it.

(in reply to Icarys)

Post #: 16

RE: Disappearing Masters? - 12/6/2010 3:40:14 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

I have never connected to people online. I can't say I really understand it. Even when I was getting to know Master online I didn't connect with him until we met in person. Until that point he was just some person I was talking to online who seemed to be interesting enough to want to meet in real life.

I would say maybe stop getting so wound up with words on a screen and just continue to live your life the same way you did before talking to him....ya know...go to work, eat, sleep, hobbies, friends, family, etc....

(in reply to Icarys)

Post #: 17

RE: Disappearing Masters? - 12/6/2010 3:48:32 PM

lovingpet

Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline

Hate to say it, but two whole days *sighs*, isn't really that long. Like others have said, there may well be a very good reason. I wouldn't get too worked up yet. Okay, yes I would. Just ask my partner. I get in an awful angst when I don't get to talk to him or see him as usual. Don't put your life on hold necessarily, but be calm about this. I bet you'll feel pretty silly should he come back again any way soon. I know I've had a few cringeworthy moments of my own. Hang in there! I hope you hear from him soon.

lovingpet

_____________________________

If you put your head into more, you'd have to put your back into less. ~Me

10 Fluffy pts.

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 18

RE: Disappearing Masters? - 12/6/2010 4:26:22 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: entrigued

I'm not a fan of the internet, and maybe that's what this is all about. Wouldn't it be swell if there was an active and thriving 'community' for me to go out to. If there was something like that for me to take advantage of, I wouldn't have written this because odds are very high, I wouldn't be here. I'm simply not in an area where that is a viable option.

Where are you in Georgia?

http://www.domsubfriends.com/cgi-local/wwwdir/db.cgi?db=org&uid=default&state=GEORGIA&view_records=View+Records&ww=on

Looks like you've got a number of resources - mostly in Atlanta but you can certainly get on e-mail lists and find out about smaller groups, possibly start something up yourself.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to entrigued)

Post #: 19

RE: Disappearing Masters? - 12/6/2010 5:01:30 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: entrigued

I have quite a bit of Moxie myself, and doing something like that sort of 'testing' would go over like lead. The conversation would simply be ov-er.

I'm not going to go into a tailspin if he is gone. I'm a little too much of a survivalist, and far less the sheltered, fragile flower. I'm hoping that the answer is simple, boring and mundane. Unfortunately, apart from taking claims for a major insurance company and hearing alllll the many ways that fate can walk up on yah and really wreck your day, I've seen it all too often, and first hand. You think to yourself, "It's dust in the drive, but sh*t I hope a car didn't go bursting through the front window."

I'm not a fan of the internet, and maybe that's what this is all about. Wouldn't it be swell if there was an active and thriving 'community' for me to go out to. If there was something like that for me to take advantage of, I wouldn't have written this because odds are very high, I wouldn't be here. I'm simply not in an area where that is a viable option.

Option one is what I am hoping for: hardware failure. Option two is a simple 'walk away' he's playin' me for a fool. (that one isn't ringing with me) Option three: His house burned to the ground or something happened. Unfortunately THAT is ringing with me. And I really don't 'care' where we are on the scale of meeting or whether we have talked yet on the phone or not, or even if he BECOMES or would have become my dom or not. I care about people. I'm hoping for number 1; I'm trying not to fixate on number 3. That is what the question is about. It's not about whether I am lemon-headed stupid and/or he's a fake.

He was cooking when we last spoke and he was tired. My little mind landed right ON that. Cooking and tired. How many claims involve the STOVE? How many claims involve cooking and falling asleep in the livingroom? Cooking and tired and silence. I just hope that he didn't pass out with that stove still hot and anything around it that could ignite. And I'm looking for ways to get my mind OFF that.

Hold on. You're in Georgia and you aren't aware that there is an active and thriving community out there? I've been to groups all over the state (I lived there for five years) and I can promise you that they exist.

As to the second, of course option two isn't ringing with you because it isn't what you want to hear. Better to be an alarmist rather than to think you got played. That's where My money is.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to entrigued)

Post #: 20

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