Domme ... or play partner? (Full Version)

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alwayzron -> Domme ... or play partner? (10/1/2004 6:06:51 AM)

I've seen a few references on here from Ladies commenting on submissives having more than one Domme .... specifically as related to the internet. While in San Diego, at one time, I was seeing three separate Dommes at the same time. They all knew about one another and, in fact, knew one another. As long as I was playing safe and abided by their rules while under their control, there were no issues. As one stated, it was no big deal, because many people in the D/s community have more than one 'play partner'.

Thoughts, feelings and opinions please?



sub4hire -> RE: Domme ... or play partner? (10/1/2004 8:12:57 AM)

Most I know have more than one play partner. Although where I do know Dominants and submissives. Most people I know are tops and bottoms. Poly people as well.
Most of the tops and bottoms are honest about it. They don't expect anything different when there is no emotional committment there.

As long as one is being honest and both parties agree what does it matter?



GoddessDustyGold -> RE: Domme ... or play partner? (10/2/2004 5:58:52 PM)

submissives vs. slaves. online vs. real time. Pro session vs. friendly play sessions. All of these come into play here. For Myself, I do not have a problem with a sub spending time with other Dommes online or in real time, as long as they are not owned by Me. Once owned, living in or out, then the rules change. I seek and encourage submissives to learn as much as possible and experience different points of view. Just be safe.

Mistress/Goddess DustyGold



sting516 -> RE: Domme ... or play partner? (10/3/2004 4:31:03 AM)

while i understand the desire to play with many, i used to do so myself, ideally, i think ownership by one is best...if the One who owns me decided She wanted to see me interact with others in this context, then i would do so.

That said, i believe that when the relationship is a primary one with the sub devoted to one Domme, that is when more can be explored...as i know i'd do more with a person who i knew i was primary with.

As always, your mileage may vary.


sting



Sundew02 -> RE: Domme ... or play partner? (10/3/2004 9:21:07 AM)

quote:

references on here from Ladies commenting on submissives having more than one Domme .... specifically as related to the internet.



The word "having" for me strikes a warning bell. Visiting, or interacting with, now that seems logical. The possible reason why are obvious, the submissive wanted more play, one or the other of the Dommes would do what another one wouldn't, or the time the male was available one or the other of the Dommes wasn't, etc. I see nothing wrong with that, and will agree as long as they played safely. Belonging to someone, HAVING for me means belonging to someone specifically, then the play would be at my direction, not set up by the submissive. Sundew



Laura -> RE: Domme ... or play partner? (10/3/2004 8:30:38 PM)

If I care, I don't share. It's that simple. When I played online I did an hour or a few minutes, whatever. He could be anyone, I never knew their names even if they told me. I didn't care. Reality is different and I don't share.



magiqual -> RE: Domme ... or play partner? (10/3/2004 9:55:45 PM)

quote:

While in San Diego, at one time, I was seeing three separate Dommes at the same time. ... As one stated, it was no big deal, because many people in the D/s community have more than one 'play partner'.


There's a pretty big emotional difference between "seeing" and "committed to" someone -- by the time a collar or the word "owned" enters your D/s relationship, that's a commitment. Most people I know in committed D/s relationships don't have a multiple play partners (on a regular basis), and playing outside the primary D/s relationship is something to be negotiated with the Dominant, if at all. (Sometimes the Dominant just isn't into sharing. Sometimes it's a matter of needing to determine whether the outside play will interfere with your training. Sometimes she'll send you out to learn something she's not in a place to teach. Sometimes your Dominant will say "no" because it looks like playing with the other person won't be good for you. Somtimes she'll say "yes" because she's secure in your devotion to her. But notice who always has the final say -- 'taint the owned one.)

In my case, my Domme and I are comfortably poly, and there's room for me to play outside the relationship. We agreed I'd play with one pro once as payback for some work done and as a way of advancing my training. I may be bottoming to a new Dominant here to help her learn. Sometimes I'll play with other switches to try out things and bring them back home. What I don't do is casually "play around" for quick gratification; each outside play date contributes to our D/s relationship or it doesn't happen.



alwayzron -> RE: Domme ... or play partner? (10/4/2004 4:37:19 AM)

Wow! Great responses all! Thank you for sharing.



lil_d -> RE: Domme ... or play partner? (10/6/2004 8:55:24 PM)

I have 1 Domme...and several play partners. I think that it is possible to love and care about many people and have loving relationships with them all. Hence the reason I am poly.

However, I think that you can only truly have one Dom/me in your life. You may roleplay at D/s with others, but only one person can truly be responsible for you. Unless it was a poly household, in which there was a specific hiearchy involved.

I distinguish between S/m or B/d play and D/s. I can have sensations given to me by lots of different people and enjoy them. But at the end of the day, the buck needs to stop with one person.

lil_d



ShadeDiva -> RE: Domme ... or play partner? (10/11/2004 8:07:16 PM)

I agree with magiqual's post - I see a large diffetrence betwixt the two, myself.

~ShadeDiva



ChrisGreen -> RE: Domme ... or play partner? (10/12/2004 3:19:14 PM)

OK, this is a British point of view, before anyone takes offence - grin.

I have 2 Matrons of which Matron J is the senior, and Matron A is her assistant, they are my everyday, professional FemDommes, and they only do discipline and uniforms.

I have Matron K who has a specialised establishment in Spain and she runs an interrogation centre set in a prison hospital, so I get uniforms, medical, and the whole panoply of sensations that I crave as an extreme sensualist.

I am not your run of the mill slave, and I am not, currently, in a relationship in a BDSM sense.

However, I have been in the past, and with total openess in the process of meeting a new FD, then one lays onself and ones' life totally open for inspection.

Some of my mistresses have wanted me totally for themselves, others have said, 'No, I 'm not doing this, that or the other.' So, in those, we have agreed that proxy mistresses could be used.

Indeed I met 5 ladies in London, who knew each other, and who enjoyed different aspects of the scene, Ms P was in charge of me, but she would send me round to her friends - but then I have some skills that most slaves do not - Silver Service and Wine Waiter for a start; along with experience in running businesses, fundraising, and so on.

To be a successful slave, you need to have useful skills, and a knowledge of plumbing, electrics, carpentry, carpet laying, painting and decorating, and gardening are right up there at the top as well.

I have tended to regard BDSM as fun, and so have found play partners, in the main; though I have had 3 serious 24/7 relationships, that we worked out as straight short-term contracts of 3 years each.




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