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Christmas Cookie Rules - 12/14/2010 5:33:09 AM   
tiggerspoohbear


Posts: 19141
Joined: 6/27/2010
Status: offline 		"Christmas Cookie Rules"

1. If you eat a Christmas cookie fresh out of the oven, it has no calories because everyone knows that the first cookie is the test and thus calorie free.

2. If you drink a diet soda after eating your second cookie, it also has no calories because the diet soda cancels out the cookie calories.

3. If a friend comes over while you're making your Christmas cookies and needs to sample, you must sample with your friend. Because your friend's first cookie is calorie free, (rule #1) yours is also. It would be rude to let your friend sample alone and, being the friend that you are, that makes your cookie calorie free.

4. Any cookie calories consumed while walking around will fall to your feet and eventually fall off as you move. This is due to gravity and the density of the caloric mass.

5. Any calories consumed during the frosting of the Christmas cookies will be used up because it takes many calories to lick excess frosting from a knife without cutting your tongue.

6. Cookies colored red or green have very few calories. Red ones have three and green ones have five - one calorie for each letter. Make more red ones!

7. Cookies eaten while watching "Miracle on 34th Street" have no calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel.

8. As always, cookie pieces contain no calories because the process of breaking causes calorie leakage.

9. Any cookies consumed from someone else's plate have no calories since the calories Rightfully belong to the other person and will cling to their plate. We all know how calories like to CLING!
10. Any cookies consumed while feeling stressed have no calories because cookies used for medicinal purposes NEVER have calories. It's a rule!

So, go out and enjoy those Christmas Cookies - we only get them this time of year!

_____________________________

"RABBIT IS GOOD, RABBIT IS WISE".

"I'm a baaa-aaad pussycat".

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RE: Christmas Cookie Rules - 12/14/2010 5:41:16 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		*giggle*

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polysnortatious
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CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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RE: Christmas Cookie Rules - 12/14/2010 11:07:13 AM   
subinlife


Posts: 263
Joined: 5/20/2008
Status: offline 		Makes perfect sense to me, lol.

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RE: Christmas Cookie Rules - 12/14/2010 11:21:41 AM   
Medic


Posts: 49
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline 		I like it. Thanks.

Don't forget cookies with a hole in the middle have the calories removed with the center.

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RE: Christmas Cookie Rules - 12/14/2010 2:26:23 PM   
tiggerspoohbear


Posts: 19141
Joined: 6/27/2010
Status: offline 		The cookies with the holes in the middle count for less than zero calories since the hole is already missing. I like that theory even better.

_____________________________

"RABBIT IS GOOD, RABBIT IS WISE".

"I'm a baaa-aaad pussycat".


(in reply to Medic)
Profile   Post #: 5
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