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Blonde jokes - 12/14/2010 11:18:00 AM

anniezz338

Posts: 1183
Joined: 8/17/2010
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Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after
just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing
the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.

Before leaving with all their money, $600, the brunette tells her sister, 'When I get there,
if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out and haul it home.'
The brunette arrives at the bull ranch, inspects the bulls, and decides she will buy one.
The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less. She pays him, then drives to the
nearest town to send her sister a telegram.

She walks into the telegraph office and says, 'I want to send a telegram to my sister to tell
her to hitch up the trailer and drive here to haul a bull home.'

The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, and that the rates are 99
cents per word. Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette realizes that she'll only be
able to send her sister one word. After a few minutes thinking, she says, 'I want you to
send her the word 'comfortable.'

The operator shakes his head. 'How is she going to figure out that you want
her to hitch up a trailer and come to haul a bull if you send her just one word?'

The brunette says, 'My sister's blonde, the word is big. She'll read it very slowly."

One more~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two blondes were reading a newspaper headline - "Twelve Brazilian Soldiers Killed".

"Oh my God," said one to the other, "What a terrible waste of lives! Hey, how many is a
brazilian, anyway?"

_____________________________

I had become insane, with horrific lapses of sanity. Edgar Allen Poe

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RE: Blonde jokes - 12/14/2010 11:45:41 AM

Medic

Posts: 49
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline

LOL. OK, since you started it:

A blonde heard that milk baths would improve her skin. So she left a note for the milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk. When he read the note he felt she made a mistake. He thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons. So he knocked on the door to clarify the point.

The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your note asking me to leave gallons of milk. Did you mean 2.5 gallons?"

The blonde said, "No, I want 25 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub with milk and take a milk bath so I can look young and beautiful again."

The milkman asked, "Do you want pasteurized?"

The blonde replied, "No, just up to my boobs. I can splash it on my eyes."

Or.......

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer that was also a blonde.

When the officer asked to see the blonde driver's license, she began digging through her purse and became progressively more agitated. "What does it look like?"

The police woman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it."

The driver finally found a square mirror, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. "Here it is," she said.

The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."

(in reply to anniezz338)

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