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making my gf my Domme - 12/14/2010 6:00:52 PM

subdog1621

Posts: 7
Joined: 4/24/2010
Status: offline

I have a few questions for everyone. My gf and I have decided to try something new. I want to become my Mistress and service her. I would like to have a few ideas where we can start at and what do you think we should buy to start out with. I hope a few of you Dommes out the can help us out

Post #: 1

RE: making my gf my Domme - 12/14/2010 6:04:49 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

You start by asking her what she would like you to do and doing it. Not by demanding she service you by fulfilling your fantasies. But by doing the dishes right away when she asks you to instead of putting it off. Because if you do put it off because it isn't hot or because you would rather watch tv, then you're telling her that you don't want to submit, you just want her to fulfill your every wish sexually and don't care about what she wants.

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Post #: 2

RE: making my gf my Domme - 12/21/2010 8:02:18 PM

subdog1621

Posts: 7
Joined: 4/24/2010
Status: offline

Well here is a better question, what kind of things can we try so my gf can be more controling in the bedroom. We have ties and blindfolds but what else should we use or buy?

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 3

RE: making my gf my Domme - 12/21/2010 8:17:48 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

Oh honey, you don't have to buy anything! I mean, why buy things, spend money and in this economy... you know? Why not show her what a wonderfully submissive man you are and how it's not all about sex and how great it will be to have a woman dominate you in the bedroom?

She gets one hundred cums before you get one. Show your dedication and focus! You will have her eating out of your hands and willing to let you cum really good or you will never get any again.

You a gambler?

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(in reply to subdog1621)

Post #: 4

RE: making my gf my Domme - 12/21/2010 9:12:52 PM

lovingpet

Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline

Who's in control if you are trying to "make" someone into something? It's not the person you say you want to have in control. I understand trying something new and seeing if dominance is a good fit for her and submission a good fit for you, but is not the same as trying to change a person to suit your desires.

As far as equipment, I would suggest...well...none. Her facial expressions, tone of voice, body language and gestures are a good place to start for her. You learning to react to her desires on a dime, what you can do to draw out her inner predator, and what pleases her most is a good place for you to start. If you are looking for pain with your play, hand spanking, pinching, hair pulling, and other such things can be a good place to start. Why invest in something that is currently experimental? You can always add to your devious toybox as you find what you both enjoy and what will become areas of particular skill. Simple things lying around the house can do for bondage stuff if you want that as a part of things. Zip ties, scarves, etc. can be used for binding. Scarves, duct tape, her panties, etc. can work well as gags. A scarf or a basic sleep mask is a good starter blindfold. Most of this stuff is already on hand.

I would like you to consider your mindset first and foremost though. If she is in control, then she needs to BE in control rather than being in a position of being manipulated even if unintentionally by you. She may well just do this because you like it and not be able to go any deeper. You have to give her the reigns if you want her to take them. Good luck as this is a journey.

lovingpet

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Post #: 5

RE: making my gf my Domme - 12/22/2010 1:03:39 AM

crazyml

Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline

By and large I completely agree with this .

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

You start by asking her what she would like you to do and doing it. Not by demanding she service you by fulfilling your fantasies. But by doing the dishes right away when she asks you to instead of putting it off. Because if you do put it off because it isn't hot or because you would rather watch tv, then you're telling her that you don't want to submit, you just want her to fulfill your every wish sexually and don't care about what she wants.

That isn't to say you can't suggest things that she might enjoy. Do you think she'd enjoy making you wear panties, for example? Would she enjoy making you clean her up after cumming in/on her?

Do you think she'd enjoy watching you clean the house, naked?

_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 6

RE: making my gf my Domme - 12/22/2010 1:59:56 AM

TheRaptorJesus

Posts: 640
Joined: 6/3/2010
Status: offline

I love how people get indignant about the term "domme" because it's about sex.

Yeah, he really means "top". It's mostly the same, don't get your panties in a bunch.

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Post #: 7

RE: making my gf my Domme - 12/22/2010 3:30:12 AM

crazyml

Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline

Your holiness.

I'm guessing that was a fast reply?

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Post #: 8

RE: making my gf my Domme - 12/22/2010 4:22:17 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Same thing applies if he means making her his top though. Does she want to do this or is she just doing it for him? Because if she doesn't really enjoy it, then pretty soon she'll resent him for demanding she be something she's not.

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

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Post #: 9

RE: making my gf my Domme - 12/22/2010 8:24:18 AM

lovingpet

Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline

And if she does enjoy it, he's going to find himself in a whole world of hurt very quickly for his manipulative behavior and inappropriate mindset. If that day ever comes, I want a message so I can:

It should be quite the show.

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If you put your head into more, you'd have to put your back into less. ~Me

10 Fluffy pts.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 10

RE: making my gf my Domme - 12/22/2010 7:28:34 PM

subdog1621

Posts: 7
Joined: 4/24/2010
Status: offline

Thank you all for all the help and comments. My gf and I have been talking alot. I am sorry for the way I have worded my subject. The two of us would like to get into the lifestyle a little more. She wants me to be more agressive with her and tie her down and try things on her. But on the other hand I would like her to top me. I am more submissive than Dom but I will do anything to please her.

(in reply to lovingpet)

Post #: 11

RE: making my gf my Domme - 12/22/2010 8:21:20 PM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: subdog1621
I want to become my Mistress

Man, if you can pull this off, that'll be one helluva trick. Talk about self service....grins.

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"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to subdog1621)

Post #: 12

RE: making my gf my Domme - 12/22/2010 9:10:21 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: subdog1621

Thank you all for all the help and comments. My gf and I have been talking alot. I am sorry for the way I have worded my subject. The two of us would like to get into the lifestyle a little more. She wants me to be more agressive with her and tie her down and try things on her. But on the other hand I would like her to top me. I am more submissive than Dom but I will do anything to please her.

Are you listening to yourself? Better yet, are you listening to her?

Unless you've got yourself a switch, this isn't sounding like she wants to be a Domme.

_____________________________

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Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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(in reply to subdog1621)

Post #: 13

RE: making my gf my Domme - 12/23/2010 6:26:11 AM

queeningmike

Posts: 2
Joined: 12/17/2010
Status: offline

I wanted the same thing from my girl friend, i came right out and explained to her the truth about males and the way they act when they have orgasms at will... she was interested to know more as she believed that if she pleased the male every time he got hard he would always want her... she totally understood when i explained it was the opposite. i got her the book Venus on top which focuses more on female led relationships and not so much of the B.D. since reading the book she has progressed to the point of now she is starting to use nipple clamps, butt plugs, and bondage, plus the orgasm denial is getting more server as she now just drains me, and i am not allowed to cum in her when she fucks me.. my advice is go slow and communicate dont give up it is the best thing you will ever experiance

(in reply to subdog1621)

Post #: 14

RE: making my gf my Domme - 12/23/2010 6:29:50 AM

mbes

Posts: 465
Joined: 12/14/2006
Status: offline

"The truth about males"? Ya'll really are all just alike?
What a horrible thought.

< Message edited by mbes -- 12/23/2010 6:30:13 AM >

(in reply to queeningmike)

Post #: 15

RE: making my gf my Domme - 12/23/2010 6:52:44 PM

subdog1621

Posts: 7
Joined: 4/24/2010
Status: offline

i would like to thank al of you for the help you are giving me. I have been talking things out with her. I have told her they way I feel and i have listened to the way she feels about things. We are going to take things very slow. I also want to thank you mbes Maam. I really hope to talk with you more. Everyone have a happy holidays

(in reply to mbes)

Post #: 16

RE: making my gf my Domme - 12/25/2010 5:36:52 AM

DommeKeliDallas

Posts: 311
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline

Quit being so controlling and let HER ask the question IF SHE wants to do this SHE will tell you!

(in reply to subdog1621)

Post #: 17

RE: making my gf my Domme - 12/25/2010 6:37:11 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: subdog1621

i would like to thank al of you for the help you are giving me. I have been talking things out with her. I have told her they way I feel and i have listened to the way she feels about things. We are going to take things very slow. I also want to thank you mbes Maam. I really hope to talk with you more. Everyone have a happy holidays

Excellent. This is the way to go. You two are really in the experimental stages and need to get in touch with what each one of you wants, and how (and if) to get there.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to subdog1621)

Post #: 18

RE: making my gf my Domme - 12/25/2010 8:42:32 AM

mbes

Posts: 465
Joined: 12/14/2006
Status: offline

I'm glad the list helped, subdog, we can talk if you like. Merry Christmas to you, and I hope you both find what you like in the new year. New Year's always seems a great time to me, to try new things!

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 19

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