RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave?

RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? (Full Version)

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MarcusLaRue -> RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? (12/18/2010 2:20:45 PM)
As others have mentioned, there are no disappointments without expectations.....so that's the cost. The "pay off" for having expectations...IMHO it is that our ego has a moment of satiation when our expectations are met. Is the pay off worth the potential cost?? Methinks not. It is impossible to live in the "NOW" w/ expectations. Do we, as humans, have a choice over whether to have expectations or not.....no, not as long as "ego" is still prominent....however, the more the ego is deconstructed the less need we have for expectations. So, having a Master that has little expectations of you does not necessarily indicate he doesn't care, or isn't involved, it may be that he realizes that you are "perfect in your imperfection" while on your path to be the "perfect" slave. (The joy is in the journey, not the destination) Of course, expectations can also be useful as a "tool"....to help sub/slave deconstruct her ego when she fails. <winks>

Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? (12/18/2010 2:26:03 PM)
I have expectations from myself and other people in general, and even more so with a D/s relationship.

kalikshama -> RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? (12/18/2010 2:28:37 PM)
quote: Word, op. All is samsara; expectations breed discontent and ignorance. Strive without attachment to outcome. When meeting someone new, I have hopes while practicing non-attachment. Once I get to know someone, I form expectations. I'm going to rethink this.

DesFIP -> RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? (12/18/2010 3:01:18 PM)
By expectation, op, I get the feeling you mean unexpressed expectations. Things you hope for and don't talk about. None of them are good to have. You need to talk about everything; about your must haves, about your deal breakers, and about where you can and will compromise. If you need a poly relationship then you must express that. Yes, most women will tell you no thanks upfront. But isn't it better being turned down right away instead of lying to her and causing her to regret all the time she spent with you before you told her the truth? Isn't it better to be seen as someone with integrity instead of hated as a lying user?

petmonkey -> RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? (12/18/2010 6:28:13 PM)
~FR~ Expect them to be as human as you are.

Zevar -> RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? (12/18/2010 10:04:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SAMHAIN09 I personally feel that the best expectations one can have are no expectations. Expectations as in having set standards of conduct or principles make total practical sense, relationally speaking. Expecting the truth to be told, as in NO lying tolerated, is a definite expectation of mine. To expect integrity is non-negotiable, undoubtedly. To set no standards or expectations is likened to a wide gate which definitely leads to no where. Preferably, standards that are similar to mine are much more likely to be acceptable within the confines of a relationship. To expect nothing from myself or otherwise is far too abstract of a concept to wrap my thought around. Pragmatically speaking I cannot imagine most folks on some level having some form of expectations. The key is effective communication, one to another. Without effective communication surely the likelihood of failure is inevitable. Clearly if one asserts their best efforts with the goal of establishing an open line of effective communication there is a higher probability to succeed in a relationship, by way of communicating expectations thus eliminating any guesswork. Take care!

BKSir -> RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? (12/18/2010 10:06:34 PM)
I expect mine to do only two things... I expect them to do their absolute best at all things they do, and I expect them to be honest and upstanding in all situations. If they do these things, then I've no reason to not be proud of them.

Kana -> RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? (12/18/2010 11:07:44 PM)
Of course I have expectations. At a minimum, I expect her to serve, please and obey. Oh yeah. And suck a mean dick.

tazzygirl -> RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? (12/18/2010 11:08:54 PM)
A mean dick as opposed to a nice one?

Kana -> RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? (12/18/2010 11:18:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tazzygirl A mean dick as opposed to a nice one? Laughs There's a reason they call em dicks. (In teeny tiny print. It was a colloquialism, slang, jive, lingo...I just knew the CM grammar police was gonna get me.)

tazzygirl -> RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? (12/18/2010 11:24:50 PM)
oh duh! actually, i got it and thought it amusing. never met a dick, face to.. ahem... that i couldnt mellow

Kana -> RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? (12/18/2010 11:31:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tazzygirl oh duh! actually, i got it and thought it amusing. never met a dick, face to.. ahem... that i couldnt mellow As a good servant should!

AquaticSub -> RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? (12/18/2010 11:33:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tazzygirl actually, i got it and thought it amusing. never met a dick, face to.. ahem... that i couldnt mellow Great, now you've got me picturing 420 supporting penises. My dreams are gonna be so weird tonight.

tazzygirl -> RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? (12/18/2010 11:39:29 PM)
Girl, im good... im not 420 penises good! Gesh, talk about lockjaw!

Kana -> RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? (12/18/2010 11:40:39 PM)
Dante Hicks: You said you only had sex with three different guys; you never mentioned him! Veronica Loughran: Because I never HAD sex with him. Dante Hicks: You sucked his dick! Veronica Loughran: We went out a few times. We never had sex but we fooled around. Dante Hicks: Oh my God, WHY did you tell me you only had sex with three different guys? Veronica Loughran: Because I DID only have sex with three different guys; that doesn't mean I didn't just go with people. Dante Hicks: Oh my God, I feel so nauseous! Veronica Loughran: I'm sorry, Dante, I thought you understood! Dante Hicks: I did understand! I understood that you had sex with three different guys and that's all you said! Veronica Loughran: Please calm down. Dante Hicks: How many? Veronica Loughran: Dante... Dante Hicks: How many dicks have you sucked? Veronica Loughran: Let it go! Dante Hicks: How many? Veronica Loughran: All right, shut up a second and I'll tell you! Jesus! I didn't freak out like this when you told me how many girls you fucked! Dante Hicks: This is different, this is important. How many? [long pause as customer buys something] Dante Hicks: Well? Veronica Loughran: Something like... 36. Dante Hicks: What? Something like 36? Veronica Loughran: Lower your voice. Dante Hicks: Wait, what is that anyway, something like 36? Does that INCLUDE me? Veronica Loughran: Ummm... 37. Dante Hicks: I'm 37? Dante Hicks: 37! My girlfriend sucked 37 dicks! Customer with Diapers: In a row? Dante Hicks: [to Veronica] Hey, try not to suck any dick on the way through the parking lot!

Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? (12/19/2010 2:04:45 AM)
So is this how the no expectations business works? Dom: Give me a blow job. Sub: Sorry, I'm not in the mood Dom: Oh.. okay then how about a hand job Sub: You know that doesn't do anything for me. Dom: Well how about if we just sit here and watch some TV together Sub: Not tonight, I'm going out with some friends. Dom: You didn't ask me if you could go out. Sub: I'm sorry, I was going to ask but forgot. Dom: I want you back before Midnight. Sub: I won't be back until tomorrow morning we all are going to crash over at (insert name) house. Dom: Did you remember to pay the Electric Bill today? Sub: Oh shit, I forgot all about that.. my aunt called today and kept me on the phone for hours, you know how she is. Dom: You were supposed to take care of it. Sub: I'll do it tomorrow, I promise. Dom: Make certain you do it, it's already a week late. What time are you going to be back in the morning? Sub: I don't know yet Dom: Shall I call you in the morning to wake you up? Sub: I'll probably have my phone shut off, you know I hate being disturbed when I sleep.

petmonkey -> RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? (12/19/2010 2:28:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4 So is this how the no expectations business works? Dom: Give me a blow job . . . That example made my whole entire brain cry-out in pain, you sadist.

RapierFugue -> RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? (12/19/2010 2:57:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kana Dante Hicks: [to Veronica] Hey, try not to suck any dick on the way through the parking lot! That line, and more importantly his delivery of it, never fails to make me laugh [:D]

LadyPact -> RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? (12/25/2010 8:50:24 AM)
I'm pulling this back to the top to add something that may have been missed. Years ago, I was sitting at a presentation that was being given by Vi Johnson. During which, she gave a very good example of her feelings as a slave in hearing that a task had been "good enough". If I remember correctly, her recollection had been about a formal dinner party. The place settings before the guests arrived, in particular. Folks who know Vi know that there is an expectation to be met. On this one occasion, she saw the table that she had laid as less than perfect. Something that she always strives to do. She relayed how disappointed she was when she was told it was "good enough". How very unfulfilled she was that the M of the house could be content with something that wasn't up to standard. After years of impeccable service, "good enough" left her feeling loss. Expectations, when properly conveyed and communicated, can be quite worthwhile. It can be terribly disappointing when you have a sub who wants to please and has no way to do so.

violetbunny -> RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? (12/25/2010 9:37:06 PM)
Just have to add my two cents worth on this. This movie is awesome! quote: ORIGINAL: Kana Dante Hicks: You said you only had sex with three different guys; you never mentioned him! Veronica Loughran: Because I never HAD sex with him. Dante Hicks: You sucked his dick! Veronica Loughran: We went out a few times. We never had sex but we fooled around. Dante Hicks: Oh my God, WHY did you tell me you only had sex with three different guys? Veronica Loughran: Because I DID only have sex with three different guys; that doesn't mean I didn't just go with people. Dante Hicks: Oh my God, I feel so nauseous! Veronica Loughran: I'm sorry, Dante, I thought you understood! Dante Hicks: I did understand! I understood that you had sex with three different guys and that's all you said! Veronica Loughran: Please calm down. Dante Hicks: How many? Veronica Loughran: Dante... Dante Hicks: How many dicks have you sucked? Veronica Loughran: Let it go! Dante Hicks: How many? Veronica Loughran: All right, shut up a second and I'll tell you! Jesus! I didn't freak out like this when you told me how many girls you fucked! Dante Hicks: This is different, this is important. How many? [long pause as customer buys something] Dante Hicks: Well? Veronica Loughran: Something like... 36. Dante Hicks: What? Something like 36? Veronica Loughran: Lower your voice. Dante Hicks: Wait, what is that anyway, something like 36? Does that INCLUDE me? Veronica Loughran: Ummm... 37. Dante Hicks: I'm 37? Dante Hicks: 37! My girlfriend sucked 37 dicks! Customer with Diapers: In a row? Dante Hicks: [to Veronica] Hey, try not to suck any dick on the way through the parking lot!

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