Ain't it funny, how time slips away... (Full Version)

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JstAnotherSub -> Ain't it funny, how time slips away... (12/18/2010 9:43:33 AM)

I know the title is a love song, of sorts, but it has been running through my head for a few days now, totally unrelated to love and loss.  Or maybe, it is due to love and loss.  Who the hell knows.

Ten years ago December 29th, I held my moms hand as she took her last breath.  It was after having her in home hospice for a few weeks, and was the hardest, and most fulfilling thing, I ever have done. 

Time heals the pain, and I think of her mostly with a smile on my face nowadays.  Death sucks, that is for sure, but that really isn't what this is about.

When I realized it had been ten years, it has really kinda thwapped me upside the head.  So much has changed.  Divorced for eight years now, got a great job that I love, been totally on my own and still amazed most days that I am actually ok and doing pretty damn good.

But, ten years.  It is like I fucking blinked and ten years had passed.  At first, it seemed like another lifetime that it happened in, now it seems like yesterday. 

I don't know if this is one of those aha moments in my life, or if it is just another time of realizing how short life is and how quickly it really passes.  I just know I don't want to blink and have 10 more pass without me being able to really look back on them and think dammit I lived those 10 years, didn't just exist and survive them. 

The contentment I have been so comfortable in for the past few years now feels like a rut.  I don't know why my head does shit like this when I get a couple weeks off-lol.  Merry Christmas, and hug ya family if they are still here.

I am gonna listen to a lot of Willie today too!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GSxFiM41u8s&feature=related




pahunkboy -> RE: Ain't it funny, how time slips away... (12/18/2010 10:12:50 AM)

Your post is like lightening hitting me.  So many riddles to reconcile in life.   I sure put my mom thru crap.  I am ashamed at that.

Thanks for sharing this.   I need to do more.




subinlife -> RE: Ain't it funny, how time slips away... (12/18/2010 11:20:17 AM)

Thank you for posting this.
 
I know what you mean. My son recently turned 28 and I was like, wait where did those years go.
I think the older I get the faster they go. When I think back I see all the things that have happened in the world.
All that I have survived, the losses sadden me but I go on.
 
Lost my mom in '08 and my grandmother in '92, both still seem like yesterday.
Yet I know time has passed, just can't believe how fast it goes.
 
Happy Holidays to all




WestBaySlave -> RE: Ain't it funny, how time slips away... (12/18/2010 12:41:18 PM)

Even though I'm fairly young, I often have these moments, whether it's reflecting one year, five years, or ten of them.

Usually it depends on the aspect of my life I'm looking at as to whether it seems short or long. When I look at my love life, it seems rather unnaturally accelerated, as though I've lived two lifetimes in little more than two years. When I think that it's still less than three years since I began searching for someone I can hardly believe it. On the other hand, when I look at my scholastic career of the past five-odd years, it seems kind of aimless and wandering and I think "If I had this planned better I could be in a successful career by now". I want to go back to my past self and go "act quicker and act sensibly". Pursue what you're passionate about, sure - but after an arts education I've found myself becoming deeply passionate about getting a regular paycheck.

Strong memories have a way of seeming intense or distant depending on how close one is to the feeling itself. Sometimes things that happened as a kid seem like yesterday, but then some major events happened a few months ago are like stories someone told me about someone else.

Time goes on at a steady pace... But our memories are just echoes prone to strange distortions as the years pass.






JstAnotherSub -> RE: Ain't it funny, how time slips away... (12/18/2010 2:45:47 PM)

Good luck PA...

subinlife, the getting older of our children sure kicks us in the head sometimes huh? Mine is about to be 23, and it just does not compute!

Westbay, it is funny to me when I look back, and realize the only birthday that I ever got upset about was my 25th,  I was so depressed that I was a quarter of a century old and had not accomplished as much as I had thought I would.  Cried all day, the ex comforted me, and that was the day I conceived my son-lol.

No matter our age, I think we all have moments.  Today, I was thinking that my grandmother, who is still alive and kicking, was 2 years older than I am now, when I was born. 

Life is definately fun!  Even on days like this, when I wonder about it all, it sure is good to be here!




subinlife -> RE: Ain't it funny, how time slips away... (12/18/2010 3:30:07 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub

Life is definately fun!  Even on days like this, when I wonder about it all, it sure is good to be here!


Isn't that the truth lol.




SorceressJ -> RE: Ain't it funny, how time slips away... (12/18/2010 3:36:26 PM)

Wow. It's getting WAY philosophical in here, innit..?
I became a grandmother this year. My sons are all young men (er, relatively speaking, that is..) in their 20's. The rock stars I grew up with (that are still alive) are all old farts in their 60's, and Cap'n Kirk and Mr. Spock will both turn (((80))) on their mutual birthdays next March (I'm a major Trekkie. I'm supposed to know these things, see..)
[sm=jaw.gif]
How did this happen, please..?




DMFParadox -> RE: Ain't it funny, how time slips away... (12/18/2010 4:29:54 PM)

Ten years ago, and a few months, I had to identify my mother's body. Then some over-exuberant funeral home nicked it and caused a heart-stopping mess. 7 days later, we held a Catholic funeral service; I had no choice but to organize everything, there was no one else.

Speaking ill of the dead is not what I'm here for, so I'll keep things down to "my childhood was not stable." Still, I'll never forget how she would stop everything to hunt in a patch of clover for one with four leaves. R.I.P., Mom.




anniezz338 -> RE: Ain't it funny, how time slips away... (12/18/2010 4:37:58 PM)

I think more and more about losing my mom as the years fly by. I just hope the natural order of things stay in place and she goes first. If anything happened to me or my sister, it would really be unbearable for her.




SorceressJ -> RE: Ain't it funny, how time slips away... (12/18/2010 4:56:46 PM)

I lost my mother five years ago last May, but really, I lost her to a monumental lack of mutual understanding well before that. I was not there to say goodbye or I'm sorry. I hope that those who are here discussing the loss of their mothers were more fortunate, and/or have forgiveness and peace in their hearts.
Mama would have been 74 in October. I can no more picture that than I can picture a 75-yr-old Elvis.
Right now, my mother's ashes are less than two feet from my keyboard. She has a crucifix, a cow whistle, a crow's feather, a piece of the edging off my wedding gown, and a crystal rose laying across her container.
I think she's good with that..




soul2share -> RE: Ain't it funny, how time slips away... (12/18/2010 6:15:24 PM)

My condolences to all who have lost loved ones.....I have yet to face that hurdle in my life.  But when someone asks me how old I am, I have to stop and wonder how on earth I can actually be 50????!!!!  My dad is 74, my mom 68, both in good health and still driving a big rig truck across the country.  My son is 25 and getting married next year.  I certainly don't feel my age...no one in the family does.  And we won't go to acting one's age in my family!  [:)]

It's bad enough it feels like the days are getting shorter, not related to the seasons, but the years are passing by even quicker......I can't believe that in less than 2 weeks, it'll be 2011! 




DamnPickyDomme -> RE: Ain't it funny, how time slips away... (12/18/2010 7:09:37 PM)

mom and i were talking about the kids in the family and i'm beginning to understand how she feels when she looks at me. i have an adult child! years ago when he was born it really didn't register he'd be an adult someday, you're so busy raising them it never really sinks in. then the next thing you know, they're all grown up!




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