Aynne88
Posts: 3873
Joined: 8/29/2008 Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: wandersalone smiles.... as some of my friends here know, this Christmas day is the tenth anniversary of the death of my little brother. The build up to Christmas has been something I have struggled with and to be honest, I still haven't quite found a way to lessen my sadness and join in the whole festive cheer thing. Yes, I am the person who glares at the people singing carols ha ha How do I cope? I travel home to be with my family (and I am loving being back home right now) I post less on forums where I feel I have more friends (some sort of strange way to isolate myself maybe?) I am extra kind to myself - baths, candles, chocolate I don't actually know quite why I started this but I guess that I know that I am not the only one that finds this time of year a bit difficult so I wanted to let others know that they are not alone Wanders please accept my love and condolences, I hate this time of year, it has been 9 years since my Papa died suddenly and I am ashamed to admit this but I haven't celebrated Christmas since then. It upsets my family I think but I can not do it, I attempted the first year and I sobbed all day, not fair to everyone else.. It will be worse if I try because for me he *was* Christmas. He made every single thing about it special, I won't bore anyone with the details but that man was the epitome of love and giving and warmth and kindness and I don't want Christmas if I can't have him. Thank god I don't have kids I guess because it wouldn't be fair. I send presents to my beautiful niece and nephews in England and I just hermit it out til the New Year. We all grieve differently and I am so happy you are with your family and taking extra care of yourself, you are an amazing person. Since we are friends on facebook you may have seen this posted but if you missed it, this song is one that I play often this time of year and I just sit, sometimes cry, and play it as loud as I can and do what the song says, I keep them in my heart for a while. Blahhh..tears again. See? It's best I hide out til it's over. Hugs love... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RMTKb-pgxGI
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As long as people will shed the blood of innocent creatures there can be no peace, no liberty, no harmony between people. Slaughter and justice cannot dwell together. —Isaac Bashevis Singer, writer and Nobel laureate (1902–1991)
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