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love and hugs for those who need it.... - 12/21/2010 8:20:20 AM   
wandersalone


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smiles.... as some of my friends here know, this Christmas day is the tenth anniversary of the death of my little brother. The build up to Christmas has been something I have struggled with and to be honest, I still haven't quite found a way to lessen my sadness and join in the whole festive cheer thing. Yes, I am the person who glares at the people singing carols ha ha

How do I cope?

I travel home to be with my family (and I am loving being back home right now)
I post less on forums where I feel I have more friends (some sort of strange way to isolate myself maybe?)
I am extra kind to myself - baths, candles, chocolate

I don't actually know quite why I started this but I guess that I know that I am not the only one that finds this time of year a bit difficult so I wanted to let others know that they are not alone



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RE: love and hugs for those who need it.... - 12/21/2010 8:22:45 AM   
GreedyTop


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*sends loads of love, and many hugs to Wanders and her family*

I know this is a rotten time of year for you all.. know that you all are in my thoughts, prayers and heart, sweet lady....

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RE: love and hugs for those who need it.... - 12/21/2010 8:25:56 AM   
LinnaeaBorealis


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I'm with Greedy on this. I have no such issues with this time of year, but I am very empathetic to those who do. If I could, I would share my cheer with you. As it is, all I can do is send you virtual hugs & love & prayers. Please know that you are loved, darlin. *smooch*

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RE: love and hugs for those who need it.... - 12/21/2010 12:02:42 PM   
pahunkboy


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hugs to you!  

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RE: love and hugs for those who need it.... - 12/21/2010 12:10:36 PM   
subinlife


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I understand what you feel.
I reach out more to others this time of year, cuz I know that is what She would do.
 
Many cyber hugs and much love to you and yours.

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RE: love and hugs for those who need it.... - 12/21/2010 12:12:07 PM   
ShaharThorne


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Huggles and snuggles for you, Wanders.  I still go through a rough time here and there.

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RE: love and hugs for those who need it.... - 12/21/2010 12:54:32 PM   
Phoenixpower


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaharThorne

Huggles and snuggles for you, Wanders.  I still go through a rough time here and there.

what she said

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RE: love and hugs for those who need it.... - 12/21/2010 1:11:05 PM   
SorceressJ


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{{{*wanders*}}}


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RE: love and hugs for those who need it.... - 12/21/2010 1:29:06 PM   
hlen5


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Sending you good thoughts, Wanders. I'm glad you are surrounded by your family. I lost my Mom in Dec (2003), so there is always a lttle lingering sadness for her at this time of year.

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RE: love and hugs for those who need it.... - 12/21/2010 3:38:04 PM   
JstAnotherSub


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Hugs wanders.  The 29th is the 10th anniversary of my moms death, and I too just can not get into the holiday spirit much.  It is more trying to survive it and not being anyone down, then move on to the next new year.

Hang in there......10 years passed quickly though didn't it?

Hugs.

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RE: love and hugs for those who need it.... - 12/21/2010 3:51:39 PM   
Aynne88


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quote:

ORIGINAL: wandersalone

smiles.... as some of my friends here know, this Christmas day is the tenth anniversary of the death of my little brother. The build up to Christmas has been something I have struggled with and to be honest, I still haven't quite found a way to lessen my sadness and join in the whole festive cheer thing. Yes, I am the person who glares at the people singing carols ha ha

How do I cope?

I travel home to be with my family (and I am loving being back home right now)
I post less on forums where I feel I have more friends (some sort of strange way to isolate myself maybe?)
I am extra kind to myself - baths, candles, chocolate

I don't actually know quite why I started this but I guess that I know that I am not the only one that finds this time of year a bit difficult so I wanted to let others know that they are not alone




Wanders please accept my love and condolences, I hate this time of year, it has been 9 years since my Papa died suddenly and I am ashamed to admit this but I haven't celebrated Christmas since then. It upsets my family I think but I can not do it, I attempted the first year and I sobbed all day, not fair to everyone else.. It will be worse if I try because for me he *was* Christmas. He made every single thing about it special, I won't bore anyone with the details but that man was the epitome of love and giving and warmth and kindness and I don't want Christmas if I can't have him. Thank god I don't have kids I guess because it wouldn't be fair.

I send presents to my beautiful niece and nephews in England and I just hermit it out til the New Year. We all grieve differently and I am so happy you are with your family and taking extra care of yourself, you are an amazing person.

Since we are friends on facebook you may have seen this posted but if you missed it, this song is one that I play often this time of year and I just sit, sometimes cry, and play it as loud as I can and do what the song says, I keep them in my heart for a while. Blahhh..tears again. See? It's best I hide out til it's over. Hugs love...

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RMTKb-pgxGI


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As long as people will shed the blood of innocent creatures there can be no peace, no liberty, no harmony between people. Slaughter and justice cannot dwell together.
—Isaac Bashevis Singer, writer and Nobel laureate (1902–1991)



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RE: love and hugs for those who need it.... - 12/21/2010 4:50:10 PM   
SorceressJ


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*HUGS to aynne* I'm so sorry, honey.. be well, ok? XO

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RE: love and hugs for those who need it.... - 12/21/2010 10:40:32 PM   
GreedyTop


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*hugs Aynne*

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RE: love and hugs for those who need it.... - 12/22/2010 6:51:13 AM   
wandersalone


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sorry for not getting back to this thread earlier ...I will try to reply to everyone now 

smiles ... thank you GT for your care and friendship, it means a lot to me

Linea - the virtual hugs, love and prayers are very much appreciated

PA you sweetie, thank you (why aren't you posting on FL any more, aren't you a sensitive and tremendous lover now?)

Subinlife - I am sending you hugs across the miles as well.  It makes a difference to know there are others who know how I feel

Shahar and Phoenix, yep life certainly has it's up and downs and I am sending you guys hugs as well

Sorceress, big hugs right back atcha

Hlen, my thoughts will also be with you and everyone who loved your mom and I am sending you some extra strong hugs my friend

JstAnotherSub - yep the ten years has passed so damn quickly in some ways but in others it feels like every day has dragged on soooooooo long.  I think I do exactly what you do which is pretty much just do my best to get through the day and the holiday season and then start afresh in the new year.  My thoughts and warm wishes will be with you and all of your loved ones as well.

Aynne, I will confess that your post made me cry as I understand exactly what you are saying.  For the first few years I sobbed and sobbed for the whole day but eventually my family and I started to do little things.  First we went out to a restaurant and had christmas lunch and then my mum did the lunch at home, just with our immediate family and then later she started to invite others over for a bigger celebration. She would tell us that she was doing this in honour of Nicky as he would have liked to see everyone enjoying the day. 

The catalyst for us was my own serious illness about 5 years ago and I was in hospital through the Christmas period and was awaiting major and risky surgery early in the new year.  After that mum had a dual celebration of thanks I guess you could say, for my brother's memory and for my being ok.

None of us wanted to do anything this year as we are all feeling very fragile so it will be a very quiet day with just us at home.  Like you I am thankful as I have so many happy memories and I have a beautiful niece who is so similar personality wise to her dad so it really is as though he hasn't left.

Thank you for posting that link to the song as well Aynne

I was talking with my best friend the other day about the sadness I still feel.  People have said to me things like - oh it is x years now, it mustn't be as sad and crazy things like that.  I would rather still feel some sadness and grief for Nicky as it shows just how much he was loved, even if he didn't quite realise the impact his leaving us would have at the time. 

I feel sad thinking that there are people in the world who have died and they don't have anyone that smiles through their tears as they recall things about them days, weeks, months and years later.

Thank you again everyone for sharing your own memories and for your support. I know that there are a lot of people who find this time of year difficult and I hope you know that when I burn my candles and incense I am sending out healing, strength and comfort to you all


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Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. Martin Luther King
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RE: love and hugs for those who need it.... - 12/22/2010 9:09:43 AM   
Aynne88


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Honestly I have to tell you women this, you are some of the kindest and most caring people I have ever met. I don't have a lot of real life friends because I am either working or with my man, and it really warms my heart to come hear and have the feeling of this bond of something..I don't know what to call it, but even reading this just made my day. Greedy you are always there with support for everyone all the time, you are awesome and much loved, I hope you see that. Sorceress I don't know how I got so lucky to call you one of my friends but I am glad to whatever made it happen :)

Wanders...I will be thinking of you until the NewYear. You are such a kind and gentle soul, I hate it that you are hurting right now. You already know this, but your brother is with you, around you, he's there. *mwah*


_____________________________

As long as people will shed the blood of innocent creatures there can be no peace, no liberty, no harmony between people. Slaughter and justice cannot dwell together.
—Isaac Bashevis Singer, writer and Nobel laureate (1902–1991)



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RE: love and hugs for those who need it.... - 12/22/2010 9:17:21 PM   
wandersalone


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aynne88
Honestly I have to tell you women this, you are some of the kindest and most caring people I have ever met.



This....definitely this xx


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Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. Martin Luther King
Godmother of the subbie mafia
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RE: love and hugs for those who need it.... - 12/22/2010 10:05:10 PM   
LadyHibiscus


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~long distance huggles to mah grrrlz~



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RE: love and hugs for those who need it.... - 12/23/2010 8:09:37 AM   
Daddysredhead


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I am sending so much love, warmth, and prayers to Wanders, Aynne, and the rest of you who are having a rough time right now. I understand those feelings of loss and broken-heartedness, and want you all to know that I would hug and hold onto you until you felt better. I wish for you who are hurting, love, family time, and blessings, while knowing that your loved one is always in your heart.

Love, Red

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RE: love and hugs for those who need it.... - 12/23/2010 3:19:35 PM   
wandersalone


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smiles... just popping in to say hello and drop off a bit more love and support for everyone

grins...I am at the wonderful stage of looking at something as innocuous as a tree outside and I will become tearful!!! Jeeze ha ha

xxxx


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Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. Martin Luther King
Godmother of the subbie mafia
My all time favourite threads
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=2002501
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=790885

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RE: love and hugs for those who need it.... - 12/23/2010 3:48:29 PM   
Aynne88


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Hey sexy gorgeous lovable ladies....me too, just popping in to say hi and merry merry and all that stuff!! I only cried once today ;)

So, anyway, hugs to you all!


_____________________________

As long as people will shed the blood of innocent creatures there can be no peace, no liberty, no harmony between people. Slaughter and justice cannot dwell together.
—Isaac Bashevis Singer, writer and Nobel laureate (1902–1991)



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