Unless you are laying unconscious or.... (Full Version)

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masterzpet -> Unless you are laying unconscious or.... (10/1/2004 9:16:22 PM)

dead, shouldn't you call to say you are late or not coming if you are to meet someone?

I mean really! Those are about the only 2 things that would keep me from letting the other person know.

What say you? Are there any other GOOD reasons for not making a 2 minute phone call if needed?

I'm 41 yrs old and have never been stood up... til recently and now yet again by the same person. The first time, there was a family emergency (he could have called) but I understood and forgave him. Now he's done it again. [:(]

Things were going so well too... or so I thought? sigh



proudsub -> RE: Unless you are laying unconscious or.... (10/1/2004 9:32:03 PM)

Pet, is this the dom you mentioned in your introduction or a new one?



masterzpet -> RE: Unless you are laying unconscious or.... (10/1/2004 9:33:08 PM)

Hi, the same one... there is only one.



LadyBeckett -> RE: Unless you are laying unconscious or.... (10/1/2004 9:58:36 PM)

You're right, if he isn't pre-occupied with the life threatening situation of someone very close to him, or himself, then he could pick up the phone and let you know something. Good guys are just that, good guys, and they are forgivable, but they aren't always the "right" guys. It looks like you've got some things to consider in this relationship.



starshine -> RE: Unless you are laying unconscious or.... (10/2/2004 2:25:17 AM)

If stuck in a traffic jam without a mobile phone (cell phone) or if stuck in a tunnel on the underground with no signal then I'd find it slightly acceptable - otherwise, its the height of rudeness and as LadyBeckett said, I think you have some long, hard thinking to do... *hugz*.



masterzpet -> RE: Unless you are laying unconscious or.... (10/2/2004 6:38:29 AM)

morning. No phone call came, no message or email either.

I woke up this morning and found a bag by the door. It had some things in it that I let him keep at his house and a note that just said he was sorry but this wasn't for him.

I don't know what to think. I'm not for him? He suddenly isn't Dom any more?

Guess I should just forget it and move on but I invested a lot of time and self giving in this and it is hard to do with no real ending and no real reason and no indication whatsoever that this was coming [:(]



subbiejenn -> RE: Unless you are laying unconscious or.... (10/2/2004 8:15:55 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: masterzpet

morning. No phone call came, no message or email either.

I woke up this morning and found a bag by the door. It had some things in it that I let him keep at his house and a note that just said he was sorry but this wasn't for him.

I don't know what to think. I'm not for him? He suddenly isn't Dom any more?

Guess I should just forget it and move on but I invested a lot of time and self giving in this and it is hard to do with no real ending and no real reason and no indication whatsoever that this was coming [:(]


Hugs masterzpet

Relationships are hard; don't let this get you down! Don't blame yourself as i know as submissives we do that a lot. i think He is a coward and not a true Dom at this point because how He did this. [:@] A true Dom is strong (in my eyes) He should of talked to you about this and explained why it wasn't working for Him and not take the easy way out and leave a note.

In the long way sweetie i think its best you found out now. i know it is hard but keep your chin up there are many "real" Doms here at CM. maybe is best to consider this a learning experience, learn from it and move on...

if you need a shoulder to lean/cry on i am online a lot my yahoo Messenger name is imjustfukinpeachy. You can IM me anytime if you need someone to talk too.

Hugs again, you can get though this and be a stronger person from it.



sub4hire -> RE: Unless you are laying unconscious or.... (10/2/2004 8:19:03 AM)

quote:

I woke up this morning and found a bag by the door. It had some things in it that I let him keep at his house and a note that just said he was sorry but this wasn't for him.

I don't know what to think. I'm not for him? He suddenly isn't Dom any more?


I have to echo what Jenn said. Keep your head up this wasn't because of you. It was his own inner confliced feelings. I'm sure if anything you made it a harder decision by being a good submissive.
Consider yourself lucky it didn't go on for too long. At least now you can start to heal. I'm sure you've learned a few valuable lessons along the way as well.



MaitresseEden -> RE: Unless you are laying unconscious or.... (10/2/2004 9:05:14 AM)

http://www.oprah.com/tows/booksseen/200409/tows_book_20040922_behrendttruccillo.jhtml


This was a topic about a book recently on OPRAH.. Above is the link to info about it, and below are a few snippets I find all woman should embrace and hold as there standard.

Ms. Eden

In their new book, He's Just Not That Into You, Greg and Liz have written a set of new dating standards for women. They want women to raise the bar for themselves.

Standard-Raising Suggestions
I will not go out with a man who:
(a) Keeps me waiting by the phone
(b) Is not sure he wants to date me
(c) Makes me feel sexually undesirable
(d) Drinks or does drugs to an extent that makes me uncomfortable
(e) Fears talking about our future
(f) Is married

I will not, under any circumstances, spend my precious time with a man who has already rejected me or who is not clearly a good, kind, loving person.

Liberating Vocabulary
Friend: A person who is your pal. What it generally means in relationships is he's just not that into you.

Busy: Busy means I'm the President of the United States. I'm an astronaut and I'm on another planet. I'm in a really successful band. What it means in relationships is, yeah, I'm just not that into you.

Bad boy: A bad boy is just a bad boy. Stay away. If you're dating somebody that's a bad boy, that's just your fault. If you say "my boyfriend's kind of a bad boy," I feel bad for you. If you say, "I like bad boys" well, then I don't feel bad for you. If you say, "I like things that don't work." Okay, good for you. Generally, guys with low self-esteem aren't worth the trouble. They're just not.

The Dog Pound
Question: So how do you screen for dogs? Answer: You just don't let him be a dog. Your standards are so high you don't let him be a dog. You can't be played if you're not playing. What I want to say that is so key for everybody to get. Nobody—even if a dog has been a dog. He has been head of the pound. Head of the dog pound. If he meets the right person, he will change his dog pound ways. He just will.

Question: How can I tell if he thinks I'm worth it? Answer: If the guy thinks you're worth it, he will do whatever is necessary if he thinks you're worth it. All the guys are nodding. Because he raised the bar and he wants to raise the bar to meet you where you are, if he thinks you're worth it. If he doesn't, then he doesn't. He's just not that into you. And you—we all—should have another standard.



masterzpet -> RE: Unless you are laying unconscious or.... (10/2/2004 9:42:48 AM)

Thank you all for the replies. It doesn't make me feel any better but least I can come here and get it out.

Ms Eden, that is some very good advice....and I do follow it believe it or not. There were no warning signs whatsoever with this one.

My favorite saying is "Don't make bouquets out of the red flags" ... and I don't.



smile2cu -> RE: Unless you are laying unconscious or.... (10/2/2004 12:21:54 PM)

As mentioned, relationships are hard, but from what you've described you're much better off without him.

You'll have to move on, as you really don't have any other choice. You need not forget it, but all indications, such as the no call, no face-to-face end would beem to indicate that this is someone you really don't need.

After a suitable period of self blame, which probably can't be avoided, but can be passed through, you'll probably realize that the fault is mostly elsewhere.

If any of us can offer solace, count on us. We're here for one another.

~smile~ (yes, even now)



Estring -> RE: Unless you are laying unconscious or.... (10/2/2004 1:33:05 PM)

Whatever the reasons are, is irrelevant now. By the way he has handled the situation should tell you that you are better off without him.



masterzpet -> RE: Unless you are laying unconscious or.... (10/2/2004 5:06:24 PM)

thanks again to all who replied here and special thanks to Lady Beckett who took her time this morning to email with me. I do feel somewhat better now.



proudsub -> RE: Unless you are laying unconscious or.... (10/2/2004 10:58:46 PM)

quote:

I woke up this morning and found a bag by the door. It had some things in it that I let him keep at his house and a note that just said he was sorry but this wasn't for him.


So sorry pet. I think that's a chicken shit way to dump someone.



masterzpet -> RE: Unless you are laying unconscious or.... (10/3/2004 8:26:21 AM)

proudsub, thanks for saying it like that... I've never been dumped before! lol
It makes me laugh because, although I would never do it like he did, I am the dumper so I guess it was my turn finally.



Thanatosian -> RE: Unless you are laying unconscious or.... (10/3/2004 8:33:52 AM)

I would like to echo what proud said - emphasis on the chicken part. And this guy is supposed to be a dom?? To me, this is quite undomly behaviour, not to mention ungentlemanly - what a wuss - maybe you should point him in some trollDommes (i.e. dont know squat, thinks its all about verbal abuse and money domination, likely to strip skin with a whip, etc.) direction so he can get what he is acting like he wants/deserves.



masterzpet -> RE: Unless you are laying unconscious or.... (10/3/2004 8:46:12 AM)

well, while he isn't to be excused for his poor behavior, I still believe he is a good person and wish him well. Just wish I knew what prompted this so I can better move on rather than wonder.



Sundew02 -> RE: Unless you are laying unconscious or.... (10/3/2004 10:27:48 AM)

I understand the need to reevaluate, possibly seek to improve yourself following this occurence. But stop first and think, was I trying to do my best? WAS this the best I could offer? If you can truthfully say yes, then let it go.
Good guy or not, manners are manners, we should all employ them. Closure is just as important as initiating a D/s relationship. Take care, Sundew



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